The night was calm, peaceful, serene. The city streets were uncharacteristically quiet, even for the late late night, the distant sounds of what little traffic there was created a comforting ambience. The light rain making the ground just barely wet enough to reflect the dim streetlights and create that fresh rain smell that fills your body with a sense of relaxing nostalgia. A devilish smile crossed the face of a particular white rabbit. It was the perfect stage for what was about to unfold.

An explosion sounded out through the streets followed by the ringing of every alarm in a museum. Out from the smoke sped a vintage yellow Fiat 500 carrying the worlds most notorious band of thieves. Standing out of the sunroof trying to find the source of the explosion was the sharpshooter Jigen Daisuke. In the backseat, legs crossed and eyes shut tightly, was the swordsman Goemon Ishikawa. And at the wheel, flooring it through the streets, was the gentleman thief Arsene Lupin III.

"That couldn't have been Zenigata, could it have?" Shouted Jigen loading his revolver.

"I highly doubt it." Replied Goemon. "It's not in his character to do something so reckless."

"Yeah, unless he finally snapped, you have to admit it's been a long time coming." Lupin said jovially. "In any case I'm not sticking around to find out, we got what we came for, and when have we been famous for our clean getaways anyway?" He snickered thinking of all his loud destructive chases with his arch rival, Inspector Zenigata of interpol.

"Well, Goemon, you were right about it not being the usual on our tail." Said Jigen. "But if I were you I'd stop placing bets, you'd never guess who, or uhh, what they are."

Out from the smoke hot on their tail came the self proclaimed Freelance Police, the canine rabbit duo, Sam and Max.

"OH OH! I see them, Sam hand me another one of those things!" Max yelled.

"I only agreed to buy you these things because you said you could make them last, Bosco doesn't haggle y'know." Said Sam rummaging in the glove box for another explosive anyway. "Gotcha." Sam grabbed a BTGE (Bosco Tech Generic Explosive) and tossed it over to his partner.

Max leaned out the window balancing himself by putting his right foot on the hood of the DeSoto. "Just like Randy Johnson!" Max exclaimed as he threw it.

"Hey, you haven't been listening me talk about baseball in my sleep again have you?" Asked Sam.

"I can't help it, watching you sleep is the only thing that gets me through the cold dark nights."

"What about that iPad I got you for Kwanzaa?"

"Too much crust buildup."

Lupin swerved Just in time to avoid the bomb and it exploded on the ground. "What are you waiting for Jigen? Take the shot already!" he yelled.

"Oh yeah, right." Said Jigen snapping out of his momentary confusion induced trance. He readied his pistol and steadied his aim on one of their front tires and pulled the trigger. To his surprise it just bounced right off.

"Good news, Sam, they're shooting at us, give me the megaphone." Said Max excitedly. Sam obliged. "Attention criminal scum!" He spoke into the megaphone. "Ceasefire at once or we will have to use excessive lethal force."

"You just threw two bombs at them juice-for-brains."

"Oh, right. Ceasefire and we might consider using slightly less force than we have been, probably not though!"

Jigen stared in disbelief. "No way, I must've missed." He fired again, and once again the bullet bounced right off.

"Hey, these tires are from the 9th circle of hell, you're not putting a hole in them!" Max yelled. "Hey Sam, how's about another explosive."

"No way, I've got a better throwable, now hand me the gas brick." Max grabbed the large concrete brick from the backseat and handed it to Sam who dropped it on the gas pedal. He then grabbed Max, rolled him into a ball and stepped out onto the hood of the car. "Just like Randy Johnson."

"Hey that's my line."

"And a one and a two and a unh." Sam launched his little buddy through the air, over the car and getting slammed on the windshield. Lupin yelped as the car collided with the not-rodent (rabbits aren't rodents btw). "What is that thing?" He shouted.

"Whatever it is, it's roadkill now." Said Jigen.

"Not quite!" Max yelled popping up suddenly and grabbing Jigens face.

"AGH, GET THIS THING THE HELL OFF ME!" Jigen collapsed into the passenger seat.

Lupin grabbed the scruff of Max's neck with one hand and tried to steer with the other. "Hey, swordboy, a little help here?"

"I'd appreciate you not calling me that." Said Swordboy slowly rising from his seat.

"Hah, even the narrator is getting in on it." Max Laughed at the narrators impeccable comedic timing. "Alright watch it pal, don't get too excited."

"Jigen, about-face." Said Goemon calmly. Jigen turned around and Goemon smacked Max up through the sunroof with his still sheathed sword. Max grabbed the frame of the sunroof and held on tight. Goemon leaped out and balanced himself on the roof with a foot on either side. He unsheathed his sword and swiped at Max's fingers, he quickly switched hands. "Hey, that's my third favorite hand you're swinging at!"

"Max! Max are you there?" Said a muffled static voice.

Suddenly Max started choking and coughing. He hacked up a walkie-talkie which he caught with his free hand. "What is it, Sam?"

"You know I love an arbitrary comedic action sequence as much as the next fella, but the commissioner gave us a job."

"Oh right the briefcase, sorry, violence makes me lose sense of time." Max turned around holding onto the sunroof with his feet and popping the trunk, swinging into it just in time to avoid another of Goemon's slashes. He grabbed the briefcase and jumped out of the car. The DeSoto slammed into his tiny rabbit body and he tumbled over the windshield landing in the passengers seat.

"Nice work little buddy!" Sam praised.

"Aww, coming from you that's worth the broken ribs, ruptured stomach, pierced lungs AND cracked skull!"

"What's a Tuesday night without a few grievous injuries?"

"Lupin, it made off with the briefcase." Said Goemon lowering himself back into the car.

"Oh no they don't. Jigen, take the wheel." Lupin said, letting go before Jigen could react.

"You better not do something reckless." Jigen said scrambling to grab the wheel as the car swerved.

"It's like you don't even know me." Said Lupin as he opened his door and jumped out. Doing what Max just did, but with more elegance and less blunt impact.

"Whew, this car hopping stuff does a number on your legs, how do you guys do it?" He asked as he landed in the DeSoto.

"Hey, Max is the only one in this crossover that functions on cartoon logic pal! Max, sick 'em!" Sam commanded.

"Don't have to ask me twice!" Max leapt into the backseat. Lupin scooched to the next seat leaving Max to faceplant on the backseat headrest.

"Easy there, pal." Lupin scanned the car for the briefcase, spotting it on the dashboard. "Outta the way McGruff." Lupin said as he dove for it.

"McGruff? Alright that's it." Sam pulled out his gun and pointed it at Lupin's head. "I'm not a violent fella but if you want all of those neurons to keep firing through your synapses you'll take that back right now."

"Or I could just take this back!" He proclaimed holding up the briefcase. "By the way," he pointed to Sam's gun "those are for actions, not threats." And in a move only a professional contortionist could pull off, kicked it out of his hand and onto the street.

Meanwhile Max was steadying himself in the back seat. "THAT WAS SAM'S FAVORITE GUN YOU MONSTER!" He jumped at Lupin and started wailing on him.

"Relax little buddy, Big Kill has survived a lot worse." Sam reassured him.

"It's the principle of the thing, Sam, THE PRINCIPLE!" Max cried without a break in his beat down.

"So that's how you wanna play it huh?" Lupin said grabbing Max by the throat. Alright then Pal let's-" He was cutoff by the flash of a spotlight and the roaring blades of a helicopter overhead. He looked up. "That had better not be pops." He groaned.

"That helicopter has a strangely good sense of dramatic timing." Sam observed.

"Impressive how it was able to keep it's propellers so silent until it was just above our heads." Max added.

"Oh Lupin~" A feminine voice sang.

"Wait a second. Fujiko?" Lupin's face lit up.

"It's meeeeee~" Fujiko said as her body covered the spotlight and became visible. She was hanging from a rope ladder wearing an all-to-fancy for the occasion yellow dress with heels and a full face of makeup, y'know, typical helicopter attire.

Max whistled. "She is one smokin' piece of-"

"Jesus Max, you don't even like girls." Sam cut him off.

"Eh, slips my mind every now and then, these things happen."

"Oh boy, Fujiko, am I glad to see you." Lupin Grabbed the ladder and began to climb up with the briefcase.

"Aren't you going to greet me with a kiss?" She said seductively.

"Well what a lady asks for she shall receive." Lupin said as he climbed up the ladder toward her, eyes closed and lips puckered. Though suddenly his hand felt a but lighter, he looked down to see the briefcase missing, then looked back up to see Fujiko holding it.

She giggled. "I grabbed the handle with my heel and threw it up to myself when your eyes were closed, buh bye Lupin~" She shook the ladder until Lupin lost his grip and fell back down into the DeSoto.

"Tough luck with the gals, eh big fella?" Sam remarked. "Been there, don't much care to go back."

"Yeah," Lupin sighed dreamily. "But that one's really somethin', ain't she?"

"If that's what you wanna call it." Max retorted.

Soon the Fiat pulled up alongside them. "Alright Lupin, social clubs over, we gotta get goin'!" Jigen called over.

"Well, I can't say it hasn't been an interesting night, see you guys around." Lupin laughed as he jumped through the window of his car which sped forward as soon as he landed.

"AFTER THEM!" Max screamed.

"Why?" Sam asked. "They don't have the briefcase anymore.

"Yeah but we don't have anything to do until gopher smashing at 2:30."

"Is that A.M. or P.M.?"

"P.M."

"Good point." Sam floored it.

"Agh, still hot on our tail." Lupin said. "Take the next alleyway coming up on the left."

"You got it, boss." Jigen said. The tires screeched as a sharp 90 degree turn was made and they reaced through the alley.

The DeSoto was there in a matter of seconds but it still wasn't fast enough, they had seemingly just vanished. Sam slammed the breaks. "Well, looks like our kill time car chase is a bust, let's circle back and pick up the gun we dropped."

"Aww do we have to? That was a like a whole mile back." Max complained.

"You were the one that was so broken up about it in the first place."

"Oh, Sam, if Big Kill were here she'd want us to move on, just like those three orphans from the aquarium in 2009."

"Big Kill isn't a woman... is she?" Sam though for a moment.

"Excuse me, were you two involved in that car chase just now?" Said a figure appearing in the alleyway.

"Maybe we was and maybe we wasn't, what's it to ya?" Max said in a faux-mobster voice.

"My name is Inspector Zenigata of interpol. The man you were chasing is Lupin the Third, worlds most wanted thief. I've been chasing him for nearly my entire career. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"No way, we don't talk to no popo." Max spat.

"Max, we are the popo." Sam reminded him.

"Oh yeah, ask away."

"Firstly, who, or what, are you?"

"We're Sam and Max, Freelance Police, at your service." Sam said proudly.

"For a steep fee." Max added.

"Right... what lead you to your involvement tonight."

"Well like always, our commissioner gave the order. Apparently there was a robbery planned and we were told to secure the briefcase before it could be stolen."

"Hmm... and this commissioner, who is he?"

"No idea, it's kind of a Charlie's Angels situation." Max explained.

"You're my angel little buddy." Sam said.

"Oh Sam, you're gonna make me blush."

"Alright last question, did you see which way they went?"

"No idea, they just swerved down that alley and disappeared."

"Yeah, they tend to do that. Well I'll leave you with my card, I'd appreciate it if we could work together on this case. If you come up with any leads, call my office. I look forward to working with you." Zenigata turned around and walked out of the alley.

Sam and Max stood in silence for a moment. "Does he really think he's pulling off the trench coat?"

Meanwhile Lupin and Jigen were arguing in their hideout. "I keep telling you not to trust that woman Lupin!" Jigen shouted.

"You sound like a broken record, do you ever get tired of repeating yourself?" Lupin had his nose buried in a book.

"What I get tired of is you not listening to me! Say, what are you reading there anyway?" Jigen changed the subject knowing there was no getting through to him.

Before Lupin could answer the door swung open, it was Fujiko.

"There you are!" Jigen exclaimed as he stood up. "Why what I should-"

"Relax Jigen I'm here to turnover the treasure. Or lack thereof." She was visibly disappointed. "You can have the briefcase, it's completely empty."

Lupin looked up from his book with a coy smile. "Well of course it is." He said. "There's no treasure in the briefcase, because the treasure is the briefcase."