It had been a beautiful day.
In between, Jem could imagine being seventeen again. Not only did he get a family and his music back, it was Tessa, the love of his life, who was still Tessa after all these years.
She was herself, and then again not.
It had first struck him this morning when she thought they were in his old bed. Although she had dismissed it as a joke, Jem knew it wasn't.
It was Will who had always pranked everyone. Like the whole ghost story. That was totally his thing.
And while Tessa had always liked that quality about him, and often laughed at it, she had rarely even participated in his pranks. Jem couldn't imagine that she would want to create a mess of her own accord.
Then he noticed it again and again later. On the way to the institute, she first wanted to go in the direction of the hospital where she worked. When Jem asked her if they didn't have to go the other way, she looked around confused at first before telling him she wanted to show him around the hospital.
That had been a lie, Jem knew. Why would she have wanted to take a detour if they weren't the fastest at their age?
And during the meal, there were several moments when she mispronounced herself, got names mixed up, or got the times wrong. However, he particularly notices her evasive answers.
When James awaited her if she had been busy the day before, she said, "The usual."
When Cordelia asked when she could get her weekly rations, she said, "Like always."
When Owen asked her how they got here, she replied, "What do you think?"
Tessa had never been a defensive personality. She had always told the unfiltered truth when asked a question. It had been one of her most refreshing qualities. He could simply always know where he stood with her. While Will often sidestepped or hid his innermost feelings, she had always been open about them.
Jem recalled how she would often pull the rug out from under Will with it.
But maybe that was exactly the reason why nobody else seemed to notice.
They knew Tessa together with Will for most of their lives. Now that she was acting out the evasive parts of Will's personality, it was as if nothing had changed much.
However, Jem had an inkling as to what might be causing this change. People kept coming to the monastery who had made similar observations about their parents. They wanted from us, a healing, heal the sickness that seemed to befall Spirit.
Of course, we didn't have much knowledge about the disease, let alone how to treat it.
The only thing that really seemed to help was acceptance. Whenever someone who was lost in the situation came, the monks tried to make them feel like they were in the right place.
After dinner, Owen offered to drive the two back to Tessa's apartment. James asked the two to spend the night at the institute beforehand, but Jem gently refused. He could tell from her lost gaze that the mere thought of sleeping in the room she had shared with Will pained Tessa.
He could understand that. He, too, was not enthusiastic about the idea of staying here without him. It just doesn't seem right.
When they entered the apartment there was a note on the dining table in which Catarina briefly described that she had taken some of her things with her and was staying with her son for a while so that Tessa could have Jem with her.
Tessa snorted, laughing. "I didn't even know she had a son."
Inevitably, Jem wonders if Catarina really never told Tessa, or if she just forgot.
Tessa must have seen the thought on the tip of his nose because she just sighed and sat down on the couch.
"Right to the subject, huh?" He sat down next to her and gave her a requesting look as she began to tell him what was really going on with her.