"Guys, be quiet, let me handle them." Jirou quickly whispers to the boys, as they were walking down the street to Jirou's house. They all agreed to start working on the song as soon as possible, figuring out a day to go over to her house.
"C'mon, Jirou, your folks can't be that bad." Kaminari casually says to pass off Jirou's obvious warning.
"Y-Yeah, aren't parents s-supposed to be nice?" Midoriya questions.
"Oh, you sweet summer children, you guys obviously haven't had to deal with parents like mine." Jirou explains "I love my folks a lot, but my old man's a bit of a handful." Jirou cautions. "What do you mean, 'a handful'?" Midoriya looks nervously at Jirou. "When it comes to me hanging around guys, he's extremely overprotective." Jirou warns, unintentionally looking at Kaminari as she's finishing the sentence.
"Meh, if your parents are even half as chill as you, then I think we're in the clear." Kaminari shrugs off another warning.
"My dad managed to scare one of my exes so badly, that- have you guys ever heard the term 'scared straight'? Yeah, think of the opposite of that."
"Reassured curved"? Denki asks, unsure of what answer he wants to hear.
"No, scared gay, Kaminari." Izuku deadpans.
"I'm just glad Aizawa let us do this, personally"
"W-Well, he, uh, did seem pretty adamant about us l-leaving the dorms." Midoriya says nervously, as he remembers how Aizawa allowed them to do this
"Hey, Sensei, can we-"
"Children." Aizawa starts with a sigh, answering the phone right as he's crawling out of bed. "I just woke up, haven't had my daily 4 cups of coffee, and am already partially irritated. This better be good." Aizawa grumbles.
"W-Well, we were wondering if we could go over to Jirou's house. J-Just f-for a few hours." Midoriya asks, with some worry in his voice.
"...You have 5 hours. Jirou."
"Yes, Sensei?" Jirou says, holding back a small amount of excitement at the 5 hours she was just given.
"Keep Midoriya on a leash, we don't need him getting villains attracted to him. I've had enough of that the past few months. And for the love of god, please don't let Kaminari near any outlets. Day 2 was not a pleasant day."
"W-Why do I have to have a leash?" Midoriya says confused, 'Is it the red shoes?' he mutters to what he thought was himself. "No, it wasn't." Denki reassures.
"You heard Aizawa-sensei; according to him, you're like a toddler; you get yourself in trouble very easily." Jirou says, trying to find an explanation that makes sense. "Y-you guys took the saying literally though!" an exasperated Izuku says.
"Wait, it's a figure of speech? Fuck, I wasted 2800 yen." Denki whines at the revelation.
"Anyways, we're here. Again, shut up and let me handle them." Jirou huffs, walking up to the door and rings the doorbell to her home, and takes a deep breath as she hears footsteps approaching the front door.
"Who's there- Oh hey sweetie, back home already? I thought we just got rid of ya." A woman of average build who looks very similar to Kyouka, so similar you'd be an idiot to not know that it's her mother.
"Hey mom, yeah, me and my friends were allowed to hangout for a few hours." Jirou hastily explains to her mom "Well, why'd you decide to come home, especially with two boys?" Jirou's mom asks. As soon as she said 'boys', there was a frantic sound coming towards the door
"Who's at the door? I came running as soon as I heard 'boys'" a man who the boys figure out is Jirou's dad pants out, apparently out of breath.
"Oh, it's just our daughter and her two friends." Her mom responds to her dad.
"Oh, how nice of her to visit- WHAT ARE YE DOIN ON ME FRONT PORCH" A scruffy, blond-haired man screamed at them, in what sounded like a really bad Irish accent.
"AND WHY DOES HE" he points at Midoriya, "HAVE A LEASH ON?" the same man screamed, this time looking in Midoriya's direction.
"WHO THE FOOK ARE THESE ARSEHATS WITH ME DAUGHTER?" The man says, still looking at Midoriya.
"Honey" The mom says with a cold tone and dangerous edge in her voice, "Our daughter brought her friends over; treat them like esteemed guests, and stop kink-shaming them."
'KINK-SHAMING?' the three kids thought, Midoriya taking off the leash and pocketing it during the distraction.
"A-Anyway, Green is a lyricist, and we want to record one of his songs… a-as a band."
"A band, you say?" her dad questions, dropping the accent while looking at the three of them closely. "Well shit! Why didn't you say so? That makes things a whole lot easier!" Kyotoku leans in, getting serious, "Now, what genre are you guys going for? Punk? Pop? Country? Blackened Bluegrasscore? Kyouka, if you say rap, I will write you out of the will, disown you, and shoot your boyfriends on the spot. All at the same time." Mrs. Jirou sighs loudly at her husband's empty threat.
"You guys continue to discuss this, me and green hair here are gonna make some tea for you three, okay?" Mrs. Jirou announces, standing up and motioning for Izuku to follow her into the kitchen.
Izuku follows her into the kitchen, all the while still extremely nervous about how the day has unfolded thus far.
"What's your name, dear?" she asks. "I-Izuku Midoriya, ma'am." She continues, "Are they holding you hostage? Is my daughter blackmailing you?" She crosses her arms and looks down at Izuku, completely serious.
"What? N-no no! Well… she did kind of drag me along after looking through one of my notebooks…"
"So you normally act like a scared kitten?"
"I..I guess? I-I'm fine, Mrs. Jirou, really. I, uh, I'm not really used t-to the whole 'social interaction outside of school' thing." Izuku says, trying to make a joke.
"So you're saying my daughter isn't forcing you to come here against your will?" Mrs Jirou asks, her skeptical expression softening when she receives a confident nod from Izuku.
"Alright, kid, go back to your friends. Also, if you want to stay on my husband's good side, just call him 'Sir'- he really likes a good ego stroke." Mrs. Jirou explains as she gives Midoriya a light push towards the living room. "By the way, it's okay to call me Mika."
Kyouka, her dad, and Kaminari go downstairs to the recording studio. Jirou immediately sits down in the production chair and spins around, while Kaminari takes a look around.
"Man, you guys don't spare any expenses when it comes to a studio, do you" he muses "Yeah, this is where me and Mika record our music; she writes it, we perform it, I mix it." He nods his head over to the back wall where their awards are displayed, "I'd say it's worked out pretty well for us."
Kyouka turns to the stairs as her mom and Izuku join them, her mom holding a tray with tea on it. "You guys like it? We built it ourselves! Anyways, do you guys want tea?"
After the tea break, the dad, who remembered to introduce himself as Kyotoku finally, asks the trio what instruments they play. Kyouka replied "You already know I play bass, dad, is that even a question?"
"Well, yeah, but it wasn't for you, sweetie. You boys, what instruments do you guys play?" Kyotoku asks the boys, now kind of nervous at his eagerness. "I actually used to drum a lot before I started at UA." Kaminari answered. "I-I don't know how to play any instruments, sir. I've only ever sang out of f-frustration, sir." Izuku admitted, worried at how the pro musician is going to react to him saying that.
"You've not ever played a guitar before? Kyouka, honey, we need to change that. Do you feel up to helping daddy teach him the basics of guitar today?" Kyotoku asks his daughter.
"Do we have enough time?" Kyouka checks the time, "Yeah, I think we should be able to fit it in."
Kyotoku gently picks up a nearby electric guitar and hands it to Izuku. Izuku adjusts the strap of the guitar before putting it over his shoulder. He plucks one of the strings.
"No, you're not supposed to pluck a guitar. You gotta strum it, like this"
Denki sits down behind the oddly colored drum set with sticks in hand as he waits for the others to finish setting up for the session. Izuku tries to adjust the mic stand but ends up slipping and falling backwards, bringing the mic stand crashing down with him. An awkward silence hangs in the air until a ba dum tss rings through the studio.
"Fuck off, Denki." Izuku says, with a one finger salute pointed in his direction, barely holding in laughter. "Dude, not cool." Kyouka says, failing to hold her laughter in, which breaks Izuku and he starts laughing as well.
"Hey, I have a drum set. How many times do you get the chance to do that? I've found more shinies in a Pokemon game than chances to do that!" Denki says with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Can someone help me? I'm tangled in these wires." Izuku pleads, struggling to get himself undone.
"Oh, right. Stay still, Green." Kyouka leans down and helps free Izuku from the robotic bondage, awkwardly stepping over the mess of wires and other things Izuku had knocked over. Denki, in a rare moment of using common sense, unplugs the cords Izuku is tangled in. The three of them finish setting up the studio, fixing the mess that Izuku made.
Izuku glances over his notebook, still unsure what to do. Kyouka crosses her arms and glances at the two of them. Her dad is already in the recording booth, checking the instruments, making sure everything works.
"We have enough time to do at least three songs. Grunkle Foreskin is the first one, now we just need two more." Kyouka insightfully explains
"I.. I don't think the songs I have completed are going to cut it. H-Half of them aren't even completed!"
"Green, calm down. Just give me the book and I'll see what I can do" she says gently
Izuku reluctantly gives her the notebook. She flips through it, but Denki reaches over and stops her from flipping to the next one.
"How about this one?"
"You really want to do 'Johnny Gonorrhea and the Cooter Polluter'?" Kyouka asks.
"It looks hilarious!"
"Yeah, a-and unfinished. I never could figure out a good chorus for it." Izuku says, slightly defeated.
"Why don't we just record one song for now and see how it goes." Kyouka suggests.
"I'll work on it. Don't worry. I have a partial idea of what I'm doing" Denki juts in, "I have a few ideas as well! Maybe we can workshop them?" Kyouka quirks her eyebrow at Kaminari as he says that. "What? I never said they were good ideas…"
"Whatever floats your boat, Sparky."
"I'm still not sure about any of this. Three songs seems like a bit too much and… well, we aren't exactly a band." Izuku says, as he starts to crawl back into his metaphorical shell.
"Of course we can be. Especially with your lyrics, Green." Kyouka reassures Izuku, seeing him start to regress already hurt her a bit inside, even if they just started hanging out.
"We'll need a name though." Izuku says quickly, already warming up to the idea of being in a band with them.
"We can worry about that later." Kaminari says dismissively. "Let's just- get back to the music, and get this shitshow on the road. And a one, two!" They all start jamming, Kyouka playing low notes while Denki hits a fast beat that Mika starts dancing to in the booth. Izuku starts playing, his impromptu lessons fresh in his mind leaving him able to play the notes in his head out onto the guitar. Then, he steps to the mic.
"Faster than a Sperm Cell
Terrifying Foreskin
Blazing hot like Totino's
He's half man, half Torino!"