In the recording studio, Kyotoku is in his chair laughing hysterically. The lyrics Izuku sang had him rolling by the end of the first chorus, and 7 minutes later at the end of the song, he's close to pissing himself. "Holy shit, these- whoa, oh my god, that has to be one of the dumbest songs I've ever heard, but I can't stop laughing!" He gets up and walks into the booth, "So which one of you wrote those lyrics? Was it you, Surge?" he says, looking at Kaminari. "N-no, I'm only getting back into playing music." Kyotoku stands there, puzzled; he knows that his daughter wouldn't stoop so low as to write such vulgar and blunt lyrics, and if it wasn't Surge, then…"
"WAIT, YOU WROTE THE LYRICS?!" he nearly screams at Izuku, who flinches near instinctively at his volume. "Sorry, I just never expected someone as meek and naive as you to write all these… obscene words."
"I..I'm sorry! It's just… life is really hard sometimes a-and, well…music is therapeutic, right?"
"We never said they were bad, Green", reassures Kyouka, "Dad just never anticipated that you'd be the type to write stuff like this. He's just a smidge surprised, is all."
"I'm surprised you wrote these, too!" Kyouka jabs Denki with one of her ear jacks. "Ow- Kyoooo…"
Kyotoku, not wanting to deal with any of this, decides to change the subject. "Okay, so since we have 3 songs, it's gonna take me about a week to get these finished. How do you want me to send the songs to you kids after I mix and master them?"
"Just send them to my email, dad. You still remember it, right?" Kyouka says. "I'm pretty sure I remember it still; SmokeDatDeepDope420 , right?" Kyotoku asks
"Oh my god, wh- I mean, yeah, but- oh gods, why?" Kyouka sputters and turns to the boys, who are giving her an incredulous look, "Look, it's old, okay? I made it while I was in my edgy phase…" she admits, face turning red out of sheer embarrassment. Izuku pipes up, shit-eating grin on his face, "Wait, you had an edgy phase?" Kyouka just flips him the bird while Kaminari laughs at the whole scene.
Kyotoku lets out a long disappointed sigh before continuing, his hope for a normal daughter finally leaving him. Mika leans in and whispers to her husband, "At least I know she actually does take after you, now."
"Hey, maybe we can make a Herotube channel for our music!" Denki informs them. "A Herotube channel? W-we don't even have a name for the band yet!" Izuku responds.
"It's fine, you guys have time to get it all figured out!" Kyotoku reassures them, desperately wishing he could get this day over with, his sides still sore from laughing so hard.
"Sure, sure." Kyouka dismisses, "We gotta go back, dad. Sensei's starting to remind us to head back." Kyotoku gives her a hug, "I love you, sweetie! Just remember to have everything together before you release the songs- it's pretty hard to change band names!"
The dorms were actually quiet for once. Some of the class were in their rooms, while the others were just doing miscellaneous activities in the common area. It was almost perfect… until the freshly-minted band barges into the dorms, squabbling about their leash.
"How did we get to where I'm the one wearing the leash, again?" a newly-tethered Denki whines to Jirou, who's currently leading him along the path to the dorms.
"Green said it was your turn, and I'm inclined to agree." Jirou casually says, tugging the leash a small bit.
"D-doesn't that mean it'd be your turn next, Jirou?" Izuku questions.
"Dang, already looking forward to seeing me on a leash? I didn't see you being into that, Pine." Jirou teases Midoriya, who's left a stuttery, blushing disaster.
Denki mumbles. "...not with that ass." Jirou jabs Kaminari with one of her jacks, who jumps back in shock.
"Ow! What did I do?" asks Kaminari, rubbing his forehead. "I heard that, jackass."Midoriya, who didn't hear anything Kaminari said, asks Jirou what he said to warrant that reaction. "He said I have no ass…"
"I mean…" Izuku mumbles, looking slightly downward.
"Oh come on, don't make me jab you too…"
"S..sorry just.. it's just.. cute… and uh… kind of a bubble butt? But like, less bubble, and more like a foam pillow." This time Jirou's the one left a blushing mess, and all three of them keep bantering about which of them has the best ass, as they walk into the dorms.
"Tsu! You're honest, help us out here!" Denki says to Asui, who's on one of the couches in the common room. "Yeah, what do you need Kaminari?", she drones in her typical monotone demeanor. "Which one of us has the best ass?" Tsu, leans over, takes one look at the three of them, and gives her answer. "Midoriya, then Kaminari, then Kyouka. Midoriya's is top tier, like Steve Rogers in Endgame top tier, Kaminari just looks like it'd be fun to play with, and Kyouka… there's like nothing there by comparison.``
Denki leans back to look at Midoriya's ass, and says the first thing that came into his head. "Damn, that is Japan's ass!"
Tsuyu finishes her time in the chapter reassuring Kyouka that "Hey, you have an ass, don't worry. Just be glad you aren't Mineta- his is non-existent."
Sato immediately stops mixing batter in the kitchen to stare. Mina, who has been watching this whole interaction in the corner while her phone charges, smirks. Sero bursts out laughing, elbowing Mineta in the side, "Dude, you're catching strays, but god-damn that was a good one!"
After texting Aizawa that they made it back to the dorms in time, the three of them head into Kaminari's room. Midoriya stands, while Jirou sits down at Kaminari's desk, and Kaminari himself flops onto his bed.
Izuku is the first to speak up, "Are… Are we actually doing t-this? Starting a band, I mean."
"Dude, we have music already recorded, I think it's a bit too late to back out." Denki says, while swiping through Hoogle on his phone.
"I-I'm not sure if this is a good idea, considering we're trying to become heroes too…" Izuku says. Jirou, spinning in the chair, stops and looks at both of them.
"I mean, we can always keep our actual identities secret.", spitballs Denki, trying to think of ideas.
"Or, how about this? We just be ourselves. No worrying about who's what or what mask we wear. Green, 9 Dolt, what do you think?" Jirou's idea stops both of their thought processes, giving her their undivided attention. "Yeah, I know, revolutionary idea, right? 'Hero students trying to find a venue to vent about situations go under a false identity to protect themselves'. Think about it like this; how long did it take for us to find out that All Might-sensei was a false identity? That the man we see every day was nothing but a front, and the man we saw at Kamino is the true All Might? Hell, I still don't know his real name, and I'm lucky to hear the conversations in the teacher's room.
All I'm saying is, if we're trying to be hero students, why don't we go as our actual names, since we'll be nothing but our hero names once we go out into the world after graduation. I, personally, want to keep Earphone Jack and Kyouka Jirou separate from each other."
After Jirou's speech, Izuku starts to think about the idea. All his life he wanted to be seen as someone more than quirkless, and ever since All Might told him he was worthy of inheriting his quirk, he's put full effort into being what was expected of him as the 9th bearer of One for All. And yet… he's not once even thought about himself, all this time. Not once has he done anything for himself. So, maybe, this one time, he can do something for Izuku Midoriya the person, not Deku the hero.
"I mean… I don't mind the idea. It'd be nice to be known for something, other than being a hero." Izuku responds.
"There we go, green's finally on board!" Kyouka points at Midoriya with a smug smirk. Kaminari grabs the nearest can of soda and downs it in one go. "Alright, y'know what? Fuck it. I'm down to being Denki for this project. Now. What's our name?" Kaminari asks his newly-minted bandmates. "I mean, all three of us are pretty nerdy, let's start there."
"Nerdy?" Jirou asks, confused.
"Think about it. Midoriya here's a hero nerd, you're basically the class musician, and I play a metric shit-ton of video games." Kaminari explains matter-of-factly. "We are essentially bards!"
"B-bards? I mean, I-I guess…" Midoriya, although skeptical, agrees
"I'm not sure naming ourselves bards would work" Jirou disagrees.
"Bards Against Humanity?" Kaminari quickly corrects himself, looking at the game that's sitting on his desk for inspiration.
"Well considering the first three songs we made, that's kind of on brand for us. God, I hate how well that fits…" Jirou whines, finding no fault with the name.
"Wait, so if we have a name, and are preparing to release a song, h-how are we gonna get our names out there? Shouldn't we set up some pages on Quirkbook and Nest?" Izuku says.
Denki, now very excited (with a little help from his latent ADHD), spurts, "I can take care of social media promotion, but we need something to identify ourselves. Izuku, you're a good artist, right? Okay, cool, you're our logo artist." Jirou catches his slip up and shoots him a text.
Heartbreak - Izuku, huh? You've barely known him for a week and it's first name basis already? Damn, you move quick ;-P
"I-I didn't even answer your question though?" Izuku stutters out, completely missing Kaminari's slip-up.
"I've seen your notebooks, dude. Has anyone told you that you're an amazing artist?" Denki excitedly says, trying to reassure Midoriya. Midoriya shakes his head, "No, I've never let anyone see my drawings, much less let anyone know I even drew. I guess I could sketch out something tonight and show you guys tomorrow?"
"That'll work, I have a few ideas I can text you. What's your DASH number? Y'know what, Kami, give me yours as well. Wouldn't make a ton of sense to have a band that only communicates in person."
"Yeah, here you go." After Kaminari and Midoriya give Jirou their numbers, they hang out a bit, casually chatting about things, playing the Cards Against Humanity game, until it gets late, and the group decides to call it a night.
"Guys, it's getting late, maybe y'all should think about heading back before curfew." Denki says, looking at his phone. "It is?" Jirou pulls out her phone to check the time, "Holy crap, it is. And I was starting to get comfortable here, too."
"I-I guess I'll see you guys later…" Izuku says, shakily waving to his new friends as he leaves Kaminari's room.
"See ya, and same to you, Double A." Jirou tiredly says, stifling a yawn, walking out towards her own room.
After his door was shut, Kaminari immediately got ready for bed. After brushing his teeth, putting on pajamas, and taking some sleeping medicine he took one last look at his phone for new notifications. He finally sees the message his best friend sent him, and initially didn't know what she was talking about. It wasn't until he crawled into bed that it all made sense for him.
He had accidentally called Midoriya by his first name.
"Shit."