A/N: "You know, sometimes when you solicit another person's opinion it makes you realize that you knew which one you actually really wanted all along."

XXXXXX

"I'll push the big button!" Musubi declared happily. As her hand neared it, they all went dark for some reason. She gave it a push anyway but it wouldn't budge. "Hey, what gives?"

"Sorry, Musubi." Matsu sighed. "But it looks like Kusano beat you to the punch." she aimed a finger at the green girl, who was grinning ear to ear.

"Yay! I'm helping!" Kuu cheered, striking a pose like superman.

The narrator swallowed, "Uuuuuuhhhhh… oh dear heavens…"

"What's wrong, God?" Matsu questioned.

"Well, this is awkward…" the narrator trotted off. He seemed quite perturbed for some reason.

"Mind filling us in?" Miya asked. "What did we do wrong?"

"It's not that you did anything wrong, it's…well, how do I put this?"

"Just spit it out already and let us go." Homura grumbled annoyed.

"I wish it were that simple. You see, in order for that door to open, any of these buttons needed to be pressed and I needed to say something rather…well…inappropriate to trigger the unlocking mechanism. No matter which was pressed I would have said the same thing. If anyone else had pressed the button I'd have no issue doing so, but the fact a child was the one to do it more than gives me pause…"

"Well, it's either that or we're going to be trapped here forever," Kazehana muttered. "What do you need to say?"

"Something that will make me question my own morality directing it towards someone so innocent. Give me a moment to collect myself while I think of something. Sit tight!"

"Sorry, everyone." Kusano squeaked, hanging her head.

Miya gave her a pat on the head. "It's fine, Kuu. You didn't know."

After a few minutes of wandering about, the narrator finally came back. "Okay, I think I've found a solution to our dilemma," he said, clapping his hands.

"Awesome." Matsu said. "What needs to be done?"

"Alright, I'll speak the magic words, but before that, I must ask one of you to cover the child's ears before I say them. Trust me, it's for her own good as well as the good of my own conscience."

"Oh my, is it really that bad?"

"Yes. Do it." he demanded sternly.

"Well, you heard the British guy." Matsu sighed. She walked over to Kusano and knelt down. "Come here, Kuu."

"But I wanna hear what God has to say!" she whined.

"No, you don't. You really, really, really don't." the narrator cringed.

Miya glanced over and smiled. "Let Matsu cover your ears and I'll let you buy a pet for the inn once we're free."

"Really, what kind of pet?" the flower child asked.

"Anything your little heart desires."

"I want a bunny!"

"Then a bunny it will be."

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Hold still Kuu," Matsu instructed.

"Okay!"

She clamped her hands over her ears and looked up at the lights. "Okay, her ears are covered."

"Are you certain she can't hear anything?"

"What?" Kuu asked.

"Positive." Matsu nodded.

"Excellent." The narrator cleared his throat and proceeded to read the line. "How fascinating. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are…" he paused.

"Are what?" Tsukiumi blinked. "Out with it. We haven't all day."

The narrator sighed and tried again to finish his statement. "This is difficult for me, but I'll say it. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are sexual predators?"

The group did a collective spit take.

*CLANG!

"Ow!" the narrator cried. "Where the hell did this ladle come from?! It just appeared out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head!"

"It's nothing less than what you deserve. Pervert." Miya smirked.

The narrator grumbled and the door swung open. "Just get going, everyone."

Moments later the flock flowed into the facility's central hub. It was so empty that one could hear a pin drop and echo. Surrounding them were several doors leading to other rooms. Above the doors were signs which labeled their supposed purpose. For some reason the said signs were akin to digital clocks with neon green text. Why they weren't simply handwritten was beyond them.

"What a waste of electricity," Matsu muttered aloud. "Seriously, who mods a demo?"

"Why question anything at this point?" Homura grumbled under his mask.

Their omniscient observer then graced them once more with his British yammering. "Okay, what else can I show you, then? This place is the buffalo of game design! Nothing is wasted."

"Yeah, except for our time." Homura said mockingly. "Can you just tell us where we have to go? I can't read English and no one else here can either."

"I can, but I agree." Matsu responded. "Narrator, would you possibly be able to change the language of these signs to Kanji? It'd make our time here less difficult."

"Sorry, no can do. Those signs don't have language options. Besides, then I would be confused. Japanese words simply aren't tangible for me."

"For the record, Kanji aren't words. They're characters."

"Characters you say? Well if that's the case they're the most uninteresting and shallow characters I've ever seen put to writing. They all look different, sure, but none have even a single defining trait to them. No, wait, scratch that. They all have one in common: They're all unreadable."

"No, you're just an idiot that won't read a book." Homura scoffed.

"I haven't the time to learn a new language, and I doubt you all are patient enough for me to go about learning it to help you. Tell you what? How about instead I watch the anime you're from to familiarize myself with you as well as the world you're from? It shouldn't take too long. Just sit tight and I'll be right back…" there was a pause. "Hold on, I have no idea what anime you're even from. What is it called, do you know?"

"But we're real-life people." Miya declared, raising a brow. "I don't know where you keep getting this anime nonsense from. The fact you're talking to us right now in the flesh should be proof of that."

"You seem to be in denial over your predicament. Let's see, hmm, how can I remedy this blunder? Hmm, perhaps learning your names will help? You, with the glasses, tell me yours first."

"I'm Matsu." she said, raising her hand. Everyone else followed her lead.

"I'm Kuu."

"Homura."

"Miya."

"Musubi.

"Kazehana."

And last but not least…

"Spit it out, blondie. What's your name?"

"Tsukiumi."

"...I beg your pardon?"

"Are thou deaf? Tsukiumi!"

The narrator grew infuriated, but why? "Have you no shame, woman! A child is present!"

"What the devil art thou on about!" She repeated herself louder. "Tsukiumi!"

"Absolutely not!"

She decided to say it really slowly this time. "SKYOO-ME!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME! I WILL NOT SCREW YOU!"

Tsukiumi's face began to boil red like a lobster's armor. "WHAAAAAAT?! THAT'S WHAT THOU THOUGHT I SAID?!"

"Well, if you're not going to tell me your name, I will need to find another means of tracking down this blasted anime. Let me give this a moment of thought… Ah, yes! The one in the purple singlet mentioned something about all of you being aliens! Perhaps giving me the name of your species will aid in matters?"

"We're called 'Sekirei'." Musubi shared.

"Thank you. Allow me just a minute while I search the term on eBay and see what pops up. Sit tight and I'll be right back…"

"Hold on! If you go now, we'll all just be sitting ducks with no direction! We don't want to be trapped here for hours!" Matsu shouted.

"It matters not. I'm from a plane of existence where time passes differently. Once I leave my recording booth to do my own thing it may take me a few days in my time, but for you, only a few seconds will go by. Now, if you excuse me, I must go about purchasing this Blu-ray set…"

"Something tells me this isn't going to end well for him…" Kazehana sighed. She didn't know the half of it.

Sure enough, the narrator returned not a second later, throwing a wobbly. "THREE-HUNDRED DOLLARS?! What is this nonsense?! Is it out of print or something?! Why would Funimation deny perverts the chance to give them their hard-earned money while still shilling overrated garbage like Highschool DxD?! Enabling scalpers like this is highway robbery and I will not placate them! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it!" the narrator seethed as his skin crawled. "I have no choice now. I have to pirate it."

"The narrator is going to break the law?" Kuu chirped with a head tilt.

"As if I have a choice in the matter? Honestly, I doubt your softcore porn series is worth even paying even a tenth of that for anyway if my experience watching Highschool DxD is anything to go by. I slogged through all 4 seasons of it and I still have no idea what the plot was. Oh wait, I know. Sex." He declared, then grumbled. "No, scratch that, I retract that statement. It's not even sex. It's no sex. No sex for anyone ever. It has to be the horniest anime about not getting any I've ever seen. And I doubt your story will be any different. WCOfun, here I come. God help me…"

A moment passes and the narrator returns. "Well, I must say, that was rather unexpected."

"What's up?" Matsu asked, confused as ever much like everyone else.

"Your series, this Sekirei…it's good. Dare I say, it's fantastic! Completely blew my expectations out of the water! Part of me wants to call it a guilty pleasure, but that would be a lie. I genuinely loved it. It had some flaws, sure, but for the most part, it was consistent. A death battle tournament featuring superpowered aliens that grow stronger from the power of love? It's quite a marvel. Why did this only get two seasons? Who in their right mind would cancel this and let Highschool DxD become the front-runner for all harem anime? This isn't fair. You all deserve better. In fact, I will give you better! I will make this demo from here on out your much-deserved third season! Forget Stanley, this is your story now."

"I don't know about you guys," Homura swallowed. "but I'm terrified."