Prompt #10: Needing advice on a personal matter, one of our favorite characters treats Fin to a fresh batch of jelly donuts one morning on a bench in Central Park

Raspberry Frosted Breath

~oOo~

Fin shivered dramatically as he pulled his knitted cap to cover his ears. The frigid New York morning seeped into every bit of exposed skin, and he wished he'd thought to grab a coffee. The sun was rising steadily, but the early morning frost still blanketed the grass, keeping the world a soft gray.

Fin made his way past one of the many playgrounds in Central Park; the smell of cold metal a warning to any desperate parent. The swings sat frozen, and the slides had a perfectly undisturbed layer of frost. The sun was slow to warm these days, but Fin knew that wouldn't be enough to keep some families away. Soon there'd be plenty of bundled-up kids with snotty noses and red cheeks swarming around as parents and caregivers did all they could to combat the cold-enforced cabin fever.

He was glad his kid was grown. Being a grandfather just hit differently. Just like being an uncle.

He caught sight of the familiar small figure with blonde hair poking from beneath her beanie as he rounded the playground. She gave a small, awkward wave when she spotted him.

"Thanks for doing this," Amanda said. "I know it's early."

Fin just shrugged. "Couldn't pass up free doughnuts."

She smirked. "Yeah."

She stretched out her arm towards him; a white paper bag, darkened in spots, dangling from her fingers. "Nice and fresh."

"Raspberry?"

She gave him a look, unimpressed with the question.

He smiled at her, grabbing the bag. He pulled it open and took a deep breath, reveling in the sweet, fruity scent of the jelly. His stomach growled.

"So," he said, looking up at her. "Where is she?"

Amanda pointed to some shrubbery, and Fin could just make out the top of her pink hat. At his questioning look, Amanda answered, "She wanted to find you a surprise."

He raised an eyebrow, and Amanda just shrugged.

"Do you know what this is about?"

Amanda shook her head. "Nope. She just insisted on talking to her Uncle Fin. In private."

Fin had to admit he was curious. When Rollins had texted him the night before, asking if he had time early in the morning to talk to Jesse, he'd been left wondering what the little girl wanted to talk about.

"Uncle Fin!" A little voice called. Jesse ran towards him, her breath little puffs in the air. "I found you a pine cone!" Her gloved hand showed him her offering.

Fin fought the urge to grimace. "Uh, thanks." He took the proffered pine cone.

Amanda hid her grin earning a scowl from her former partner. "I'm going to walk over and get some coffee while you two talk. Grab you a cup?"

He nodded. "Thanks."

She was forgiven.

"Be good for Uncle Fin," she told her eldest daughter. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay, Mommy." After Amanda had walked far enough away, the little Miss Rollins turned to Fin. "Uncle Fin, I need to talk to you," she said simply.

"Well, that's why I'm here," he answered back, a bag of doughnuts in one hand and a fat, round pine cone in the other. He looked around until he found a nearby bench. "Let's go sit over there, and we can chat."

Fin gave a small hiss when his backside made contact with the cold surface, but Jesse didn't seem to notice as she plopped down next to him. He let the pine cone sit on the bench and began opening the bag of sweet treats. Rollins had left some napkins for him, so he used one to place in Jesse's lap. He carefully pulled apart one of the warm pastries, doing his best to keep the contents from spilling out in a gooey mess, and placed half onto the napkin.

"Alright Miss Thang, what is it you want to tell me?" he asked, before biting into the breakfast pastry. Jesse pulled off one of her gloves and pinched a bit of the doughnut off and rolled it between her fingers into a tiny ball.

"WelL…" She hesitated.

"We're gonna get frozen to this bench if we sit here too long," Fin warned, earning a laugh from Jesse.

"That's silly, Uncle Fin."

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Alright, out with it."

Jesse sighed. "Well, you remember how Mommy got shot by the bad man?"

Fin felt the humor drain, and he went still. "Yeah, Jess, I remember."

"I was wondering, I think that man shot Mommy because she's a police officer, and…well, I just think that I don't want Mommy to be a police officer anymore." She looked up at him expectantly.

Fin just didn't know what she was expecting. "Ok," he said slowly. "Have you told your mom how you feel?"

Jesse shook her head, still absentmindedly rolling the dough. "That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. I think it might make Mommy sad that I don't want her to be a police officer anymore."

Fin nodded, letting her know he was listening; he was hearing her.

"Do you think I should tell her?"

Fin set the bag aside and turned to face her better.

"You gotta go with your gut, kid," he said. "What's your gut telling you?"

Jesse sighed dramatically. "I don't know. I know Mommy's a good police officer, and that she helps lots of people, but…" Her face crumpled, her eyes growing glassy. "I don't want Mommy to die," she finally whispered, before she began to cry in earnest.

Fin had faced drug lords, abusers, murderers, and the worst of humanity; what was it about a child's fear, a child's sadness that left him feeling so paralyzed. "Hey now," he tried. "Mommy's ok. I know it was scary, but she's ok."

The words felt like saw dust in his mouth, and sounded hollow in his own ears. When she gave no sign that she'd even heard him, he grabbed one of the napkins and wiped at the tears on her cheek. This little girl was in crisis, and she needed his help.

"Hey Jesse, can you take a few deep breaths for me?" he asked, placing his large hand over her chest and his other firmly against her back, just enough pressure to assure her he was there. "Do it just like me, k?"

He took some slow, deep breaths, releasing a cloud of air. Jesse mimicked him until they were both making clouds of breath.

"Like a choo-choo train," laughed Jesse.

Fin gave a small laugh, more to assure Jesse than anything else. He again wiped her face clean of her tears, knowing it was too cold for the water to linger on her skin.

"I want to write Santa to get Mommy a new job for Christmas this year," Jesse confessed. "But I don't know if he could do something like that."

Fin thought for a moment, being sure to keep his face serious. He did not want her to think he was making light of her feelings and questions. She was clearly crying out.

"He is pretty magical," Fin reasoned. "And I've heard of him doing some pretty incredible things…but, I think you might be right. I think it might be better to talk to Mommy first and ask her how she feels about it."

"But what if she wants to stay a police officer?" Jesse whined.

"What if she doesn't?" Fin countered. "Maybe she thinks you'll be disappointed in her for not being a police officer."

Jesse hesitated, considering his words. "Mommy said Uncle Sonny used to be a police officer, but now he's a lawyer and he never comes home shot and we love him."

"That's a good point," Fin acknowledged. "Maybe you could tell Mommy that."

"Yeah!" cried Jesse. "I could tell Mommy that even though Uncle Sonny isn't a police officer, we still love him and are proud of him and that if she didn't want to still be a police officer then that would be good cause we'd still love her and be proud of her."

Fin gave her an approving nod. "That sounds pretty good."

"But can I still ask Santa as a backup plan?"

"I don't see why not," he answered easily. "Any job in particular you want your Mom to have?"

Jesse thought for a moment. "She could work at Target, or become a ballet dancer or one of the rockets with the sparkly shoes."

"Rockets?" Fin asked.

"You know," Jesse insisted, moving to stand and almost knocking the rest of her donut to the ground—which Fin managed to catch. She then kicked her leg high several times in a row.

"You mean a Rockette?"

Jesse nodded wildly.

Fin did laugh at this. "Those are great ideas that I think you should definitely suggest to your mom."

She smiled and sat back down, and reached for her doughnut. She took a nice-sized bite, now much more at ease with the world around her.

"You brave enough to talk to your Mom, or do you want me to come with?"

Jesse thought long as she chewed her bite. "I suppose not. I think Uncle Sonny can help me if I need it."

"That's good Jess. And listen, what happened to your mom probably left you with pretty big emotions. It's good to talk about those feelings."

"You don't think it will make Mommy and Uncle Sonny sad?" she asked, clearly not as convinced as he'd hoped.

"It probably will, but that's ok too. It'll make them sad because they love you so much. Feeling sad isn't the enemy. Everyone feels sad sometimes. It's feeling sad and alone that's harder to shake. That's why we tell people who have been hurt to talk to someone that can help."

"Oh," Jesse said, as if she suddenly understood some great secret of the universe. "Thank you, Uncle Fin. I'm glad I talked with you. I feel better to tell Mommy how I feel."

"Me too, small fry."

"Uncle Fin?"

"Yeah?"

"I have one more question. How do you turn an uncle to a daddy?"

Fin nearly choked on the bite he'd just taken. "Do what?"

"Well, if Uncle Sonny can go from police officer to lawyer, don't you think that means he can go from uncle to daddy?"

"I—" He paused. "I suppose I never thought of it like that, but I don't see why not. I would definitely put that in your letter to Santa."

She looked up at him and took a big bite, grinning.

The author of this A Merry SVU Season story will be revealed in January