AN. Some more little surprises for you here!

Also, I'm about to start moving all my old stuff over to Ao3 for those who have asked for it. Resisting the urge to re-write everything is a struggle, as I've discovered.

Chapter 2

The Goldhaven Police Station in the southwest of the Emerald City had been Fiyero's second home for four years now, and sometimes it felt that way literally. As complicated as his feelings were about spending the holidays with his family, he wasn't going to complain about not seeing the station for two weeks.

"You could look less smug," his partner, Corin, grumbled.

"You volunteered to work over Lurlinemas," Fiyero reminded him, stretching his neck and shoulders tiredly.

"Losing a bet with Micah is not volunteering," Corin retorted.

"Your exact words were 'if I win this game, I'll work Lurlinemas,'" Micah reminded him as he stepped over to the desk, handing Corin a file.

"Yeah, but you always win," Corin pointed out, eyeing Micah suspiciously. "I still think you lost on purpose."

Micah ignored him, turning to Fiyero.

"Can you make sure you finish the report on the Probert burglary before you leave today?"

"You'll have it in forty minutes," Fiyero promised. "I just need a quick break. My brain is already on vacation," he said, rubbing his forehead tiredly as he turned away from his computer screen.

"I just made a fresh pot of coffee," Micah offered.

"Bless you, Sergeant," Fiyero said, immediately heading for the break room, while Micah rolled his eyes as he always did when Fiyero and Corin called him by his title in casual conversation.

The station coffee always needed at least five sugars to make it drinkable, but it would get him through the last two hours of his shift. And Oz, Fiyero needed that.

"Your phone buzzed," Corin informed him when he returned to the desk. "Hot date?"

Fiyero checked the screen and made a face, swiping away the missed call notification. "Nah. Just my mom."

Corin looked up from his computer screen, eyebrow raised. "I thought you liked your mom?"

Fiyero snorted. "I do. But I feel like every conversation with my mom ends up becoming an update on all the ways my relatives are doing better than me."

Corin nodded knowingly. "The hint for grandchildren?"

"My sister has a kid," Fiyero said, almost defensively. "It's not like she doesn't have any grandkids. But every time we talk, it always seems to be only about which of my cousins are having kids or getting married."

"My parents are the same," Corin reassured him. "I think there's some kind of competition among their friend group- whoever has the most grandchildren gets to wear a crown or something," Corin shrugged without looking up from the file he was reading.

Fiyero snorted with laughter. "I swear, when I spoke to my parents the other week for my birthday, Mom was this close to mentioning my 'biological clock'."

Corin frowned, looking up. "Do guys have those?"

Fiyero shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe not in terms of 'you're running out of time to have kids' but more like 'have kids while you have the energy' kinda thing?"

"In which case, I should've had kids when I had eighteen. Because I think I've been eternally exhausted since I was twenty-five," Corin grinned.

"I feel that," Fiyero agreed.

When Fiyero's shift finally finished, he wasted no time in wishing his colleagues a happy holiday and heading out of the station before anything could happen to delay his getting home. When his phone rang as he pulled out into traffic, he groaned aloud- fully expecting it to be work with some last-minute crisis calling him back.

"Tiggular," he said as he answered, diverting the call through the Toope without checking the caller ID.

"How dare you not tell me you have a girlfriend!"

Fiyero jerked the wheel in alarm, making at least two horns near him blast angrily.

"What?!" he demanded, absent-mindedly waving towards the cars apologetically.

"I'm your best friend. If you're actually serious with a girl for the first time since Sarima, why would you not tell me?"

Fiyero was beyond confused. "Wait, Jules. Who told you I have a girlfriend?"

"Kastle. She said you're bringing your girlfriend home for Lurlinemas."

"Not likely, considering she doesn't exist," Fiyero scoffed. Dilay hardly counted, he hadn't even mentioned her to anyone besides Elphaba, Micah or Corin.

"Then why did Kas say you have a girlfriend?" Julyan demanded.

"Because she likes to torture me?" Fiyero muttered, looking over his shoulder at the traffic.

"Huh?" Julyan replied. "I can't hear you. Are you driving? Are you talking to me while driving? Isn't that illegal, Officer?"

"I just left work," Fiyero said tiredly. "And it's not illegal if the phone is using the Toope. And I'm a Senior Constable."

Julyan paused. "Okay, I'll allow it. But I do hate talking to you while you're driving. I like to know I have your full attention. On the other hand, I want to know everything about this girl."

"There is no girl."

"You said that in ninth grade too," Julyan reminded him. "Right before you got caught slipping that love note into Henne's locker."

Fiyero sighed. "Jules, let me call you back, man."

"Fine, but you owe me dirt," Julyan replied and Fiyero grunted a goodbye before hitting the button on the steering wheel to end the call, and then hit the voice activation button.

"Call Kastle," he said, pulling up at a red light.

"Calling Kastle," the automated voice replied, connecting the call.

His sister picked up on the third ring. "Please tell me that you're still coming home and this isn't a 'I've got some bogus work emergency call'?"

"What happened to 'hello'?" Fiyero replied. "Why does no-one I know start conversations like that anymore?"

Kastle sighed. "Hello," she dutifully repeated. "Now, are you still coming home for Lurlinemas?"

"I am," Fiyero confirmed as the light changed green. "And if I did have a work emergency, it wouldn't be bogus."

"I know, I'm sorry," she apologised. "But Noak has been out of his mind with excitement for weeks that you're coming home, and cancelling at the last minute would crush him."

Fiyero rolled his eyes. "Well, you've nailed the mother guilt-trip, Kas. Congrats."

She laughed. "Thank you. I'm trying to perfect it before Noak hits puberty. So, if you're not cancelling, what do I owe the honour of this call? Usually you just text."

"Driving home," Fiyero explained. "And I just got a call from Julyan, asking about the girlfriend I'm bringing home for Lurlinemas."

"Oh, good. Because I'm curious too."

Fiyero sighed, flicking on his indicator and checking over his shoulder before overtaking the car in the next lane.

"Me too," he said. "Because last I knew, I don't have a girlfriend, let alone one I'd subject to our delightful family gatherings."

The following pause went on so long that Fiyero had to double check the call hadn't dropped out.

"But… no. Mom said you had a girlfriend," Kastle finally replied, sounding almost as confused as Fiyero felt. "Like three months ago. Fae."

Fiyero frowned, racking his brain. He didn't think anyone he'd met through DateDash had gone by Fae, and even if they had, he certainly wouldn't have told his mother.

"Uh, no. I don't know any 'Fae'," he said, sighing again. "Okay. I guess I'll call Mom. Find out what's going on."

"Fill me in after," Kastle ordered and ended the call before he could.

Feeling a headache beginning to gather behind his eyes, and knowing whatever conversation he was about to have with his mother could only make it bigger, Fiyero wisely decided to wait until he got home before calling her. Trying to work out how his mother was under the impression that he had a girlfriend was a mess that did not mix well with peak hour traffic the week before Lurlinemas.

"Hey, Mom," he greeted her when he finally got on to her, his stomach full of pizza and with a cold beer in his hand as he propped his feet up on the coffee table and lounged back on the couch cushions.

"Hi, honey," his mother's voice was warm but vaguely distracted.

"Are you busy?"

"No, no," she replied. "We're over at Nana and Grandpa's for dinner. I'm just finalising plans for the firm's New Year's Eve party with your grandmother. Hang on, I'll put you on speaker."

"Hi, Nana," Fiyero said obediently once the call was switched over.

"Hi, darling. How is work?"

"Er, busy," Fiyero answered. "But good. Hey, Mom? Kas said something about arrangements for me coming home-"

"Oh, yes," she interrupted. "That's why I tried calling earlier. I wanted to know what time we should expect you and Fae on Wednesday?"

"Uh…"

"You are still coming, aren't you?"

Fiyero sighed. "Yes, I'm still coming, Mom. The train is booked. Why does everyone think I'm going to cancel at the last minute?" he complained. "It's not like I have a habit of doing this, you know."

His mother laughed gently. "We know. Don't take it personally, sweetheart. I just know what it's like with your job, especially at this time of year."

Fiyero took a sip of his beer before answering. "Yeah. Well, I'm coming. But I'm not-"

"Oh. Don't tell me you and Fae broke up," his mother said, sounding remarkably sad considering she'd never met this person… who didn't actually exist.

Fiyero winced, a flare of what felt oddly like guilt rising in his chest. Kastle really had learned the guilt trip from the best, hadn't she?

"Mom," he began patiently, not sure how to break the news to her. "It's just-"

"I know we never met her, and you haven't said that much about her," his mother interrupted. "But that's how it was when you and Sarima got serious, and so we thought this was a sign."

Fiyero grimaced. "Mom-"

"We were looking forward to meeting her," his grandmother chimed in. "It's about time you settled down, you know. You're thirty-one now, Yero."

Fiyero tilted his head back, tilting the phone away from his ear.

"Thanks, Nana," he said.

"Yero's fine, Isibeal," his mother intervened, not that it did much good.

"Jip and Fintan are having a baby, did you hear?" his grandmother asked.

"I heard," Fiyero said dully, clenching his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. "The cousins have a group chat on Linx. Fin posted the sonagram."

The thread had gone from messages of congratulotions to pointing out that Fiyero was now the only grandchild still without a partner or children within what felt like ten seconds. Fiyero had made a hasty excuse about needing to get back to work, and noped out of the conversation quickly. It was why he was so excited to be seeing all the family for the holidays. Those conversations about why he was single were much more satisfying to have in person when he didn't have an excuse or a buffer to avoid them.

"We didn't break up."

The second of silence following his statement felt like it stretched out for an eon as Fiyero realised what he'd just said.

"You haven't?"

"Nope," Fiyero said, sitting bolt upright on the couch and staring at the half-empty beer bottle in his hand in betrayal, like he could blame that for the words seemingly falling off his tongue without his brain's permission. "I just, um… you know, I can't remember when I actually told you about her."

"Uh, it was the end of September, I think," his mother said slowly. "Yes, because I'd tried to call you to see if you were able to get home for Madelon's wedding in October. You couldn't talk, but you sent me a text, let me find it… hang on… yes, here. 'Can't take, Mom. Out to donner with el Fae. Call you later. Lovely xx.'"

Fiyero winced, switching his own phone to speaker so he could find the message for himself. Luckily, he didn't text his mother that often, and it only took a moment for the memory to come back to him.

"Oh, Elphaba!" he said abruptly.

His mother faltered. "I'm sorry?"

"That night. I was out to dinner with Elphaba," Fiyero explained.

"Elphaba?" his grandmother repeated. "Is that another girlfriend?"

"No, Isibeal," his mother said calmly. "Fiyero works with her. Right, Yero?"

"Well, sort of," Fiyero shrugged. "She's a social worker, Nana. So sometimes our paths cross for work reasons."

"I can't believe you're dating Elphaba," his mother said, sounding even more pleased than she had when she'd thought Fiyero was dating someone named Fae.

Fiyero's brow creased. "Why?" he asked warily. "You've never met her, Mom."

"Oh, I know," his mother reassured him. "But I know that you're friends, and I have to admit I always wondered if this would happen. And I know, I know, men and women can be just friends. But it did seem from when you'd talk about her that you were good friends, and I just had hoped that maybe one day… oh. I just feel so bad I didn't realise it was Elphaba!"

Fiyero winced guiltily. "Well… yeah."

"Why did you call her 'Fae' then?" his grandmother demanded.

Fiyero didn't think the answer of 'autocorrect' would go down too well, but as he frantically wracked his brain for a logical response, he was coming up with squat.

"Um, it's a nickname," he said lamely, dropping his head in despair.

"How exactly-"

"Private joke," Fiyero said weakly. "Long story."

"Alright," his mother said without question. "Well, what time should we expect you and Elphaba on Wednesday?"

Fiyero winced. "Um, let me get back to you on that, Mom. I think- I think Elphaba just found out she has to work."

"Over Lurlinemas?"

Fiyero cleared his throat. "Lurlinemas is a really busy time unfortunately."

"Oh, I didn't think of that," his mother said softly. "Of course. Well, let me know as soon as you can, alright?"

"Sure," Fiyero choked out. "Look, Mom, I've got to go."

He barely acknowledged their farewells before he hung up, draining the rest of his beer in one gulp.

"Oz, you idiot," he muttered to himself under his breath.

He stared at his phone in his hand blankly. He should have called Kastle or Julyan back, to update them on the mistake. Instead, he called Corin, knowing his friend should also be home from work by now and hoping for a sympathetic ear and possible solution to his dilemma.

"Hey man," Corin greeted him. "What's up? Miss me already?"

Fiyero sighed. "I feel like I'm about to regret this," he said.

"Funny, I feel like I'm about to be hugely entertained," Corin retorted immediately, his voice lifting excitedly. "What's up?"

Less than five minutes later, once Fiyero had told him the events of the past hour, the line was filled with nothing but Corin's almost hysterical laughter.

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait," he finally managed to choke out. "Let me get this straight. Your phone changes 'Elphaba' to 'Fae' in your phone; your mom thinks it's a woman you're dating; and now thinks you're bringing her home for Lurlinemas?"

"Yes," Fiyero agreed tiredly, sighing as Corin burst into fresh peals of laughter. "Although technically, it changed it to 'El Fae'- Mom just read it as 'Fae'."

"Dude, why didn't you just tell her the truth?" Corin asked once he'd calmed himself slightly. "That Elphaba's just a friend? They know about her, right?"

"Yeah, I've mentioned her before," Fiyero said. "I just… Mom seemed so excited about the idea that I was with someone, you know? And that I was bringing someone home. That it wasn't just going to be me with all my cousins and their families."

"So, just tell your family that Elphaba got stuck at work and couldn't come," Corin said reasonably. "And then in a month or so, just tell them you broke up. Easy."

"Why a month or two?"

"Because do you want to be the guy who gets dumped on the holidays?"

Fiyero paused. "Wait, why would I be the one being dumped? I could dump her."

"Then you're the ass who dumps a girl on the holidays. And have to tell them why," Corin replied promptly.

"If we 'break up' in a month or two, that's around Valentine's Day," Fiyero pointed out. "Isn't that just as bad?"

Corin paused. "True. Maybe give it til March. Just say you decided you're better off as friends, that way it's not weird if you still mention her."

Fiyero ran a hand over his face tiredly. "Except as far as my mom's concerned, we've been dating since at least September. If we decide in March we're better off as friends, after we've been dating for at least six months… is that weird?"

"Dude, why are you asking me? I haven't had a relationship last six months in like, two years. Ask Micah," Corin said wisely. "He and Til have been together forever."

"Yeah, I should," Fiyero agreed. "At least he'll be more sympathetic than you."

Corin snorted. "I bet he will."

To his credit, Micah didn't laugh quite as much as Corin had when Fiyero explained the situation. The key phrase there being "as much".

"Why don't you ask Elphaba to play along?" was his suggestion once he'd politely choked back a further laugh.

Fiyero, now drinking his second beer, frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Tell her what's going on, and ask her to just go with it," Micah said patiently. "If you really don't want to tell your family the truth. Unless she's got her own Lurlinemas plans? She's from Munchkinland, yeah?"

"Yeah," Fiyero replied distantly. "But her family is… complicated. Long story."

A long story that Fiyero didn't know all the details of, but that was another matter.

"Just ask her," Micah repeated. "The worst she can do is say no, and then you can tell your family that she had to work or something."

Fiyero sighed heavily. "She's going to call me an idiot."

"I mean, is she wrong?" Micah replied teasingly.

Fiyero rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Micah chuckled. "Look, Yero. Families and the holidays… it's tough for everyone in different ways. Even Til and I get it- we're always getting asked if we're going to get married, or have kids. It sucks. I do get why you'd just go with the lie. And if Elphaba is willing to go along with it for a few days, it just gives you a bit of support."

Fiyero actually considered that for a moment, before making a face. "Except I just told my sister I didn't have a girlfriend."

"Could your sister keep a secret?"

Fiyero scoffed. "She could, but it would come with a price, you know?"

Micah laughed. "No. Only child," he reminded him. "I don't have a solution for that one then."

"It's fine, I'll- I'll work it out," Fiyero said dismissively. "Thanks anyway, man."

"No worries. Keep me posted."

Fiyero didn't sleep well that night, and when he woke up the next morning, he didn't have any more idea what to do than he had the night before. Lying to his mom never sat well with him- namely because she always caught him out. But the idea of facing his family for two weeks alone when they'd been expecting him to bring someone… he couldn't stomach that idea either.

There was still a dull headache sitting right behind his eyes, and Fiyero rubbed at the spot dully. Usually he loved a lazy Sunday morning in bed on the mornings he wasn't working. But there was no way his brain was going to let him relax this morning until he had decided what to do. And he couldn't help but dwell on Micah's solution.

With a low groan, Fiyero rolled over and unplugged his phone from the charger. It wasn't even eight o'clock in the morning yet, but he knew Elphaba was one of those annoying early risers- in body, if not in mind, even if it was a Sunday.

Fiyero: Dinner 2nite?

The reply came in a minute later.

Elphaba: Sure. Pub?

Fiyero wrinkled his nose, before typing back.

Fiyero: My place?

He wasn't surprised that Elphaba took longer to reply this time, although the message was marked as read within moments of it being sent. In the whole time they'd known each other, they'd never seen each other's places, despite both living in Goldhaven. They always just met wherever they were going, and then went their separate ways home after.

His heart beat a little faster as he sent a follow up text.

Fiyero: i premise no Lurlinemas carols

Elphaba: I'm assuming you mean 'promise' which I have to admit IS a perk.

Elphaba: OK, sure. Just send me your address. What time? Can I bring anything? What's the occasion?

Fiyero didn't know how to explain that in a message.

Fiyero: have a huge favourite 2 ask

Elphaba: You seriously have to proofread your messages before you send them.

Fiyero: trust me. u have no idea how much i am award of this. C u 2nite.

Fiyero: *Aware. Dammit. FML.