AN. I don't know about you guys, but I'm super psyched that Michelle Yeoh is going to be Morrible in the Wicked movie! She was so good in Crazy Rich Asians, so I can so see her as Morrible. She's definitely the one I've been most excited about- probably because I'm the most familiar with her. Which casting announcement was your favourite?

Chapter 3

"How in Oz's name does your phone change 'Elphaba' to 'Fae'?"

Fiyero blinked at Elphaba across the table. "How is that your first question?" he demanded.

Elphaba pushed aside her empty plate, shrugging. "It seems perfectly reasonable to me. Because I don't see how you can type out a seven-letter word and have it changed to a three-letter word. Unless you were drunk."

Fiyero rolled his eyes. "I was on my way to meet you for dinner," he reminded her. "So unless you remember me turning up to meet you drunk, I clearly wasn't."

"So, what's your theory then?"

"Easy. Technology hates me."

Elphaba laughed at that.

Fiyero opened his phone and pulled up the text that started it all, showing it to her. "See?"

Elphaba wrinkled her nose. "I don't think 'el fae' is much better, but I can see how your mom made the mistake, I guess."

"So? Will you help me out?" Fiyero asked hopefully.

Elphaba eyed him warily. "By pretending to your family to be your girlfriend?"

"You don't need to sound quite so enthusiastic at the idea," Fiyero said dryly.

Elphaba sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Yero, I don't know," she said. "I just… I see a lot of flaws with this plan."

Fiyero nodded. "Okay, sure. Hit me."

"I don't understand why you can't just tell your parents that you're single. Is that such a bad thing? You seem pretty happy."

Fiyero grimaced. "Oh that's a long story that I will need another drink for. Want one?"

Elphaba shook her head. "I'm driving. But I'll take a soda if you're offering."

Fiyero nodded, pushing back his seat. "Of course," he said, reaching for her empty plate. "Why don't you head to the living room and I'll meet you in there?"

Elphaba agreed, taking the opportunity to really look around. She hadn't really spent much time wondering what Fiyero's apartment looked like, but it wasn't exactly what she would have expected. There was less of a slovenly-bachelor vibe, more art. The gaming console and pile of videos games in the entertainment centre was exactly what she'd expected though.

Elphaba's attention was captured by a series of framed photographs on one wall; one a shot of a mountain landscape at sunset, one a field of wildflowers, and one a crystal blue lake.

"These are beautiful," she said as Fiyero entered the room. "Where did you get them?"

"Oh, they're just from home," Fiyero shrugged, handing her a glass. "Nowhere special."

Elphaba grinned faintly as she sat on the couch. "Galinda always tells me that my place needs less books, more art. Apparently I lack colour or finesse or something."

Fiyero grinned back at her. "Well, I haven't met her, but from subscribing to her on Timely, I know she's a fan of colour."

"She's a fan of pink," Elphaba said dryly. "But yes. She keeps threatening to decorate for me. And why do you subscribe to her on Timely? You don't know her."

Fiyero shrugged. "She subscribed to me first?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Don't you go to schools and tell teenagers about the dangers of following people on social media that you don't know in real life?"

"I know of her through you," Fiyero pointed out reasonably. "Besides, Galinda's famous. Apparently. In event planning circles… according to her Timely bio and her website."

Elphaba swallowed down a well-rehearsed rant that social media influencers were not "famous", merely sighing instead. Fiyero laughed at her expression, settling back in his seat and crossing his ankles. "So."

"Right," Elphaba agreed. "You have some sordid tale for me."

"Not so sordid," he shrugged. "So, my family is… traditionally family driven."

Elphaba blinked at him blankly. "Okay," she said finally. "I've heard a lot of crappy ways people describe their families, usually trying to justify toxic behaviour, but I've never heard that before."

"Not toxic," Fiyero reassured her. "Just old school."

"Meaning?"

Fiyero sighed, taking a sip of his beer. "My family has a law firm-"

"Sutcliffe and Tiggular," Elphaba finished.

She shrugged when Fiyero looked to her in surprise. "I've worked with law firms all over Oz," she reminded him. "And you know, 'Tiggular' was kind of a clue."

"Right," Fiyero nodded. "So, it was founded by my grandfathers- my dad's dad and my mom's. They're old friends. That's how my parents met, and pretty much the whole family is involved in the firm in one way or another."

"Except you," Elphaba noted.

Fiyero nodded. "Yeah, the idea of working at a desk all day bored me to tears even as a kid. I actually wanted to be a firefighter for years. But I had a Law degree- that's a whole other story- so I ended up as a cop. Much to the disapproval of some of my relatives."

Elphaba tensed slightly, even as her eyes lit in understanding. "Your parents?"

"No, actually. My parents were great- are great," Fiyero corrected. "They completely supported my decision, even if I was "breaking tradition", you know?"

"Sure," Elphaba nodded.

"So everyone's involved somehow. My parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, whatever. And that's their thing, that we're a family law firm, run by a family. And they all have families. I'm the only one my generation not married, or engaged, or with kids or in a long-term relationship that could lead to an engagement or kids."

"How many is all?"

"There's my sister, obviously," Fiyero replied. "And three cousins on my mom's side. My dad's an only child, but even some of my grandfather's cousin's kids work there too."

Elphaba winced. "Wow. So you really weren't kidding about it being a family business."

Fiyero snorted. "Nope. That's one reason why I decided to join the force here in the city, instead of in the Vinkus. To avoid people I'm related to."

"Makes sense," Elphaba chuckled. "Okay, so how does the family law firm relate to me being your fake girlfriend?"

Fiyero faltered, making a slight face. "My last serious relationship was a few years ago. We were together for two years, and she moved here with me when I joined the force. I think my family thought this was it, you know? She was the one. Oz, I thought she was. And I think my mom was more upset than I was when we split."

Fiyero shrugged. "Anyway, I haven't really dated since- nothing long-term, anyway. Nothing serious. And my family knows this."

Elphaba also knew this, but she had a feeling she knew this better than Fiyero's family did, unless they were familiar with his DateDash interactions.

"So, when your mom thought you were seriously dating someone named 'Fae', she got excited," Elphaba said knowingly.

He nodded. "Yeah. And when I said it was you, she got even happier somehow. My mom always thinks it's a good sign if a couple were friends before they dated; she says that's the secret to her and my dad making it work, that they were friends first. And I've mentioned you before- as my friend, so… you get my point."

"Sure," Elphaba agreed slowly.

"And because all my relatives gossip like… I don't know, what's an appropriate analogy for gossips?"

Elphaba laughed. "I don't have a list off the top of my head," she apologised.

Fiyero grinned. "Well, I won't hold that against you. But anyway, my point is they talk. So I'm sure they all know about this girl I'm supposedly seeing. And I am not super keen on going home alone and dealing with the looks of pity because they think I've been dumped on the holidays or whatever. What? What's that face?"

Elphaba groaned slightly as she scrunched her face up and covered her eyes with a hand.

"Oh, Oz. You've made me feel sorry for you, and now I can't say no without feeling like a bitch," she complained.

Fiyero laughed, almost choking on his sip of beer. "Sorry," he apologised, coughing a little.

Elphaba peered through her fingers at him, her mouth twisting almost hesitantly.

"Are your family actually going to believe you're dating me?" she asked.

Fiyero blinked confusedly. "Meaning what?"

Elphaba lowered her hand from her face to gesture towards herself. "I'm green."

"And you think I'm that shallow that it's a deal breaker for me?" Fiyero asked, a little offended. "Or that my family thinks I'm that shallow?"

Elphaba winced guiltily. "No, I'm sorry," she apologised softly. "You're not shallow, Yero. It's just… you've only ever known me here, in the city. No one looks twice at me here, really. But outside of the Emerald City… people aren't usually as blasé about it."

Fiyero frowned. He hadn't thought about that.

"Oh. So, not everyone takes it as well as I did?"

Elphaba couldn't help but laugh slightly at the memory. "'How hard did I hit my head?' was definishly one of the better first reactions I've received," she agreed.

Elphaba had been at the police station with two children who had been removed from their home when Fiyero and Corin had arrived, escorting a thief they'd caught. Fiyero had slipped on the icy sidewalk and hit his head outside the station and had been insisting he was fine and not at all concussed until his eyes landed on Elphaba, when suddenly he'd changed his tune.

Once Elphaba had confirmed that she was indeed, green and his eyes were not playing tricks on him; Fiyero had merely shrugged in acceptance, said "phew" in relief, and immediately gone back to insisting he was fine. Somehow, they'd been friends ever since.

"My family are not going to be assholes about your skin," Fiyero reassured her. "I'm like, ninety-five percent sure of that. If anyone is a jerk, I've got your back."

Elphaba smiled faintly but said nothing.

"So… does this mean you'll do it?" he asked hopefully.

She sighed, scrunching up her face. "You owe me so big."

Fiyero nodded eagerly without hesitation. "So big. Forever," he promised.

Elphaba chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. What exactly does this entail?"

"What do you mean?"

Elphaba's nose wrinkled again ever so slightly as she averted her gaze. "I've never been a real girlfriend before, let alone a fake one. And are we lying to everyone, or do some people know the truth? What's our story?"

"Er, do we need one?"

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"Your family is going to ask questions."

"Like?"

"How we met, when we started dating, if it's serious. You know, that kind of thing."

Fiyero's brow furrowed. "Oh, right. Well, we can just go with the truth about how we met, right? It's not like I've never mentioned you to my parents before- as a friend, you know. And as far as my mom's concerned, we've been dating since around September, so I wouldn't think it's that serious yet."

Elphaba nodded slowly, her lips pursed thoughtfully. "Okay," she agreed.

"Anything else that comes up, we can wing it," he reassured her and her eyes widened slightly.

"I'm not so good with winging things."

"It's fine," Fiyero said carelessly. "Just say whatever, and we'll go with it."

Elphaba wrinkled her nose sceptically. "There's no way that's not going to come back to bite us in the ass," she said bluntly.

Fiyero chuckled. "I really admire your optimism, El," he teased her.

"Don't you mean 'Fae'?" Elphaba replied dryly. "You did tell your mother it was a nickname, didn't you?"

Fiyero grimaced. "Look, it sounded better than 'autocorrect', alright? So, yeah… I guess I'll have to work on that."

That may prove to be the hardest part of the ruse ("ruse" sounded better than a lie, right?). Elphaba just didn't seem like a 'Fae', Fiyero thought as he studied her. He really had to learn to proofread his texts before sending them.

His phone chimed with a text, and he glanced at the notification briefly, but didn't open it.

"Julyan," he explained to Elphaba. "He's been texting me all day."

"And you've been ignoring him all day," Elphaba said knowingly.

Fiyero shrugged. "I didn't want to say- or not say- anything until I'd spoken to you."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I guess. It'll be nice to have someone there I'm not lying to. Will you tell Galinda?"

Elphaba laughed. "I'll tell her I'm going to the Vinkus with you for the holidays. Not anything more," she said firmly.

She didn't need the headache of Galinda finding out she was pretending to be Fiyero's girlfriend for the holidays. Oz only knew how Galinda would react to that news.

"At least she won't be worried about me being alone over Lurlinemas anymore."

Fiyero's phone chimed with another text, almost sounding more insistent this time and Fiyero glanced at the screen to confirm yet another text from Julyan.

'You can't hide from me forever, Tiggular' was all he read before the preview cut off and he rolled his eyes.

Elphaba laughed at his expression. "I'll let you deal with that," she said, getting to her feet. "I suppose I need to get organised, anyway. When are we leaving?"

"I've booked the nine o'clock train on Wednesday morning," Fiyero informed her, also getting up. "So, do you want me to pick you up? Makes more sense to carpool, right?"

"Sure," Elphaba agreed. "Do I need to get a ticket?"

He shook his head. "No, I'd already booked two seats so I didn't get stuck next to anyone," he grinned. "But I guess I'll share with you."

"How generous," Elphaba replied dryly. "I mean, you do owe me forever- your words. The least you can do is let me sit with you."

Fiyero laughed.

"Thanks for dinner."

Fiyero smiled. "Thank you for saving my ass," he returned gratefully, opening the door for her as she pulled on her coat. "I'll see you on Wednesday… Fae."

Elphaba wrinkled her nose. "Oz that's weird," she said, shaking her head.

After seeing her out, Fiyero busied himself cleaning the kitchen, ignoring another two texts that he guessed were also from Julyan before he decided to bite the bullet, and called his best friend.

Julyan answered almost immediately. "Well, good evening Fiyero!" he greeted him brightly, rather nonchalantly and not at all like he'd been bombarding Fiyero with texts all day. "How are you this evening?"

Fiyero frowned. "Er, hi?" he repeated suspiciously, collapsing onto the couch.

"Kastle said you're very big on 'hello' these days," Julyan explained and Fiyero rolled his eyes.

"Why are you talking to my sister?"

"Comparing notes, duh. So, when you said 'I'll call you back' I thought you meant in a few minutes. An hour, max. Not that I'd have to hunt you down again."

Fiyero winced. "Sorry. I had to work something out first."

"Okay, so what's the story with this girlfriend you claim you don't have?" Julyan asked.

"I don't," Fiyero stressed. "Turns out that Mom was under the impression that I'm dating Elphaba. Nothing crazy, just a miscommunication."

"A miscommunication?"

"There was a, uh, autocorrect mistake I didn't catch."

Julyan snorted. "Of course there was."

Fiyero could help but laugh. "Shut up."

"So, that's it then? That's all my dirt?"

Fiyero faltered. "Not exactly. I tried to clear it up with Mom, and then she thought that Elphaba and I had broken up."

"And she gave you the whole 'we just want you to be happy' speech again?"

"I think she started," Fiyero agreed. "And Oz. I couldn't listen to it again, you know? I swear she thinks I've been celibate since Samira."

"You could always sit her down when you get home and show her your DateDash profile," Julyan teased.

Fiyero snorted. "Shut up," he said again. "No, I… I told her that she was right."

"Right about what?"

"That I'm dating Elphaba," Fiyero admitted.

A spluttering came over the line. "What? You lied to your mom? Because that's always ended well in the past?"

"This is a bit different than lying about drinking at parties in high school or sneaking in after curfew," Fiyero protested.

"Yeah, because it's a bigger lie," Julyan replied. "So, your mom thinks you're dating Elphaba?"

"Yeah."

"And instead of spending the holidays explaining that you're still single, you now get to spend the holidays lying about your fake girlfriend and why she's not there? Smooth, Yero. Fabulous plan that I can't see backfiring on you at all."

"It's not going to backfire."

"This is just like in tenth grade when you tried to convince people you had that girlfriend in Fliaan, remember? 'Oh, we met online. You wouldn't know her.' Like, no one believed you."

Fiyero sighed. "This isn't like that. She will be there," he corrected him.

A pause. "Yero. What did you do?"

"I asked Elphaba to come with me and pretend to be my girlfriend," Fiyero admitted.

Julyan inhaled sharply. "Oh my Oz. It's a real life Fake It story!"

"A what?"

"Fake it Til You Fall In Love," Julyan explained. "It's my favourite Quillark Channel Movie. You haven't seen it?"

"Jules, if nothing blows up in a movie, I haven't seen it."

"Your taste in cinema is appalling."

"Quillark movies are not cinema," Fiyero rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," Julyan said dismissively. "You just have no taste. Anyway, it's such a sweet movie. This guy Ashur needs a date to his ex's wedding on New Year's Eve, so he asks his best friend's brother to pretend to be his boyfriend to save face. And then obviously they fall in love, and it's the best."

"I am not going to fall in love with Elphaba," Fiyero rolled his eyes. "We're friends."

"Um, hello. Do you want me to list all the movies and books I love about friends falling in love? It's like the best trope ever. Who promised?"

"Huh? Who promised what?"

"One of you has to promise not to fall in love with the other," Julyan insisted. "You know- 'I'll do it on one condition- you can't fall in love with me.' And then you- because we know it's you- is like 'Pfft. That won't be a problem' but then you do, and then you have to give the big dramatic speech, 'I'm sorry. I broke my promise. I fell in love with you.' And then-"

"Jules."

Julyan heaved a sigh. "Fine. But I reserve the right to tell you 'I told you so' when I'm the best man at your wedding."

Fiyero sighed right back at him. "You know, I didn't have to tell you the truth. I could have just told you I'm dating Elphaba and left it at that."

Julyan paused. "That is true," he conceded. "I appreciate that. Am I the only one who knows the truth?"

"Other than me and Elphaba."

"Are you telling Kas?"

"No. She'll hold it over me forever if I do."

Julyan scoffed. "Please. Like I won't?"

That was true, Fiyero knew. But still.

"I do like being in the know," Julyan said gleefully. "And hey, this means I'll finally get to meet Elphaba in person!"

They had spoke briefly once or twice before, on occasions when Fiyero had been out with Elphaba when Julyan had called, but this would be their first meeting. Which made Fiyero oddly glad. Julyan had been his best friend since they were six years old, and while he'd only known Elphaba for just over a year, Fiyero liked her a lot. And it felt very important that the two of them got along- not that he could put his finger on why.