AN. A few of you seem very worried something bad is about to happen, which is hilarious. But also, reminder that there was a vote with a category called "No drama, just fluff."

Chapter 6

Julyan: So?

Corin: R they buying it? Have u screwed it up yet?

Corin: Im BORED, Tiggular. Entertain me!

Micah: How's it going, man?

Kastle: What's the plan for today? Noak's dying to see you and I want to meet Elphaba.

Kastle: Actually, never mind. What was I thinking texting you? I'll call Mom.

Fiyero stared at his phone screen blearily, blinking rapidly in an effort as the words swam in and out of focus. He squinted at the screen, rubbing a hand over his face in an effort to make his brain comprehend the time. A quarter to eight in the morning. Far too early to be awake, and definishly too early to have so many texts waiting for him when there was no emergency, especially on Lurlinemas Eve.

He glanced over his shoulder. The bed next to him was empty and he could hear the shower running from behind the closed ensuite door. He rubbed a hand over his eyes again, replying to Julyan's message first.

Fiyero: "So" wat?

He didn't bother replying to Kastle or Corin, but he did reply to Micah, squinting at the keyboard through blurry eyes.

Fiyero: Happy Lurlinemas Even man. its all good hehe. why are u txting me so early?!

He dropped his phone onto his chest and yawned, closing his eyes. The bed was warm and he'd need all the rest he could get before dealing with the joy that was the traditional Lurlinemas Eve Sutcliffe family gathering that night. It was the sound of shower shutting off in the bathroom that made his eyes open with a jolt of sudden awareness.

Right. Elphaba was in the bathroom. His friend. His fake girlfriend.

The buzzing of his phone interrupted his internal debate about whether it would be more awkward to get up and leave the room before Elphaba exited the bathroom, or if he was still in bed when she returned. It was another text from Micah.

Micah: Did you MEAN to type "hehe" or was that just another typical text from you? Honestly, I can't tell anymore.

Fiyero scowled at his screen as he typed back.

Fiyero: shut up. I meant HERE. You woke me up, cut meat some slack

Micah: lmao

Fiyero: i hate u. n talk to Corin- he apparently texted me at 4.56 am because he was bored. Wasn't he worming? u should deal with that Sergeant. im going to have breakfast w Fae. ttyl

Looking at the text he'd just sent, Fiyero frowned. He honestly wasn't sure if he'd actually typed "Fae" then or if autocorrect was to blame again. This whole farce was really going to mess with his brain before it was over, wasn't it?

"Why are you frowning?"

Fiyero jolted in surprise, looking over at Elphaba as she exited the bathroom dressed in jeans and a thick navy-blue turtleneck, her hair wet and tangled as it spilled down her shoulders.

"Uh… thinking."

"Ah, that explains it," Elphaba said, her mouth quirking.

Fiyero chuckled, tossing his phone on to the bed as he sat up. "Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"You talk in your sleep."

"Really? Anything interesting?"

Elphaba snorted. "Mostly mumbling. The only phrase I could make out was something about 'hide the cheese.'"

Fiyero cocked his head. "Huh."

Elphaba chuckled lightly, quickly and loosely braiding her damp hair without even glancing in the mirror.

"I need coffee."

"Me too," Fiyero agreed tiredly. "There'll be a pot in the kitchen. Mom has it set on a timer, but she's probably up. Do you remember the way or-?"

"I'll find it."

He nodded. "I'm just gonna…" he gestured towards the bathroom and Elphaba nodded.

"Okay," she said, and headed for the door.

Fiyero took his time showering. The water pressure here was way better than his shower at home, and he seemed to forget every time until he returned to visit. He soaked in the warmth of the water, even busting out a few verses of Light the Candles for Lurline.

He dressed in the bathroom, throwing on sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. When he exited the bathroom, he found a cup of coffee waiting for him on the nightstand and a string of text messages on his phone, all from Julyan.

"Best fake girlfriend ever," Fiyero muttered, taking a sip as he tossed his wet towel on the bed and reluctantly opened his messages.

He wasn't naïve enough to assume his parents or grandmother had been kind enough to deliver coffee to him while he showered. And Oz knew he'd need the caffeine hit before dealing with Julyan.

Julyan: SO… who cuddled up to who?

Julyan: It was you, right? I know it was.

Julyan: Who woke up first? How awkward was it this morning? Did you say something stupid?

Fiyero rolled his eyes.

Fiyero: Wat in Oz's name are you on about? Noone cuddled up to anyone. And it wasnt awkward coz we're adults n were friends. Y do u assume it was awkward?

Julyan: …. This isn't Fiyero. It makes too much sense. Is this Elphaba? Hi, Elphaba!

Fiyero: JULES.

His phone rang a moment later and Fiyero answered reluctantly.

"Why would you think someone cuddled up to someone?" he greeted him.

"Um, duh. That's how it always happens," Julyan replied like it were obvious and Fiyero was an idiot.

"Always? How many times has this happened?" Fiyero demanded bewilderedly.

"Well, Twelve Days of Lurlinemas; The Festive Fake Fiancé; Lurline's Lovelight; 'Tis the damn Season-"

"Are these all Quillark Lurlinemas movies?" Fiyero interrupted tiredly.

"Well, yeah. No one does this stuff in real life, Yero. You're seriously telling me you both kept to your own sides of the bed all night? Did you go with the pillow wall down the middle?"

Fiyero sighed. "I'm going to have breakfast now. Goodbye, Jules."

He must have appeared fairly disgruntled when he appeared in the kitchen, because Elphaba arched an eyebrow at him from over her coffee mug.

"Julyan," Fiyero explained simply, dropping into the seat at the kitchen island next to her.

Elphaba nodded understandingly. "I definishly did the right thing not telling Galinda."

Fiyero snorted.

"Well look who's decided to grace us with his presence," Ibrahim joked, entering the kitchen.

Fiyero grunted.

"It's like your teenage years all over again. I must say, I haven't missed that," Ibrahim said dryly.

"It's not even nine yet," Fiyero complained. "And I'm on vacation."

Ibrahim chuckled as he joined them at the kitchen island with his own cup of coffee. "Well, what are your plans for your first day of vacation, son? Last-minute Lurlinemas shopping?"

"My shopping has been done for weeks," Fiyero defended himself. "Besides, we're not insane enough to go shopping on Lurlinemas Eve. Are we?" he asked Elphaba warily.

She snorted. "Oz, no."

"Excellent. Dad, where's Mom? Kas texted she was going to call her and work out plans for today. Are we seeing them before tonight?"

Ibrahim shook his head. "No, your mother has braved the stores- the gift we ordered for Vala and Huba was special ordered and only just came in, so she's gone to pick that up. Kastle said she'll just see us at Vala's."

"Okay," Fiyero replied, turning back to Elphaba. "So, plans?"

Elphaba shrugged. "I'm flexible. You're the local," she pointed out.

Fiyero grimaced. Ordinarily he could think of a dozen places or things to do around town, but on Lurlinemas Eve, the crowds everywhere would be insane.

"Movie day?" he suggested. "They don't have to be Lurlinemas movies," he promised, when Elphaba seemed faintly hesitant.

"Although I will say that watching Overkill is a Lurlinemas staple."

"That's not a Lurlinemas movie," Elphaba protested.

"Of course it is."

She shook her head. "No. It's a movie that just happens to take place around Lurlinemas."

"Dad, back me up," Fiyero turned to his father, who grinned.

"Oh, I'm not insane enough to get involved here," he said, getting to his feet. "Enjoy your movie day. Remember we leave for Vala's at five."

Fiyero nodded in acknowledgement as Ibrahim left the room, his attention firmly on Elphaba. "Have you even seen the movie?" he demanded.

"Yes, it's a cinematic masterpiece," she deadpanned.

He pointed at her. "It is, and I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but that's a separate issue. I can't believe we've been friends all this time and you don't think Overkill is a Lurlinemas movie."

"What, otherwise you wouldn't have talked to me?" Elphaba scoffed.

"I may have thought twice about asking you to be my fake girlfriend," Fiyero said, lowering his voice lest his father or grandmother be in earshot.

Elphaba rolled her eyes again. "Who knew your standards for a date were so high? Is that how you weed out matches on DateDash?"

Fiyero ignored that. "What makes a Lurlinemas movie then?"

That debate held them over as he ransacked the pantry for snacks and ushered her into the living room to situate themselves on the couch. Elphaba insisted that Lurlinemas had to be essential to the plot for it to count as a Lurlinemas movie.

"If the movie still works while set in any other time of year without changing too much, it's not a Lurlinemas movie," she insisted.

Fiyero was much more flexible, arguing that if the bulk of the movie was set around the holiday, it counted.

"Okay," he said, stretching out his legs to stick them beneath the large blanket that Elphaba had draped over herself, nudging his feet underneath her thigh without qualm. "What's your favourite Lurlinemas movie? Or do you hate all of them too?"

Elphaba shot him a searching look. "I like By Candlelight," she responded after a pause.

Fiyero regarded her blankly, and she waved a hand. "It's an old film. Black and white. It's about a little girl who tries to stay awake on Lurlinemas Eve to see Lurline's fairies and… well, nothing blows up," she teased him. "So I'm not surprised you're unfamiliar with it."

It took Fiyero a moment to grin, torn from his thoughts.

"If nothing blows up, you're only left with people talking for two hours. I can watch that in real life," he shrugged dismissively.

Elphaba blinked. "Who hurt you?"

"Kastle," Fiyero grumbled without hesitation.

Elphaba rolled her eyes.

They ended up compromising on a drama series that they had both been meaning to watch but not got around to yet. Plenty of suspense and action sequences for Fiyero and a gripping plot for Elphaba, who had read the book it was adapted from. Fiyero, knowing this, spent half the time trying to trick her into giving spoilers or guessing (increasingly ridiculous) things. By the third episode he was doing it less so to work out what was going on in the show and more so just to make her laugh.

"You're telling me there's no chance she's not a serial killer?" Fiyero demanded challengingly, pointing at the woman on screen. "No one reads obituaries for fun, you know."

"They're already dead, what use would they be to her if she was a serial killer?" Elphaba retorted. "She can hardly pick her victims from the paper."

"Maybe she gets a thrill from seeing her victims' obits?" Fiyero suggested. "Trust me. This is my job."

Elphaba snorted. Midway through episode four, Odede stuck her head into the living room.

"Yero, it's past noon. I hope you've remembered lunch."

Elphaba swallowed back a laugh as Fiyero's cheeks reddened slightly.

"Grams, I'm thirty-one," he reminded his grandmother. "I don't need reminders to eat lunch."

"I was thinking of Elphaba," Odede replied pointedly. "She's a guest in our home, and you cannot feed a guest merely snacks all day."

"Technically, I'm a guest too," Fiyero said. "I don't live here."

His grandmother merely raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed, reaching for the remote to pause the show.

"You shush," he said to Elphaba lowly, tossing back the blanket.

Elphaba snorted again, a grin breaking through even as she took the hand he offered to help her up.

"It's adorable," she teased him. "Do Micah and Corin know about this side of you?"

Fiyero narrowed at her. "I've been so nice to you and promised you my undying gratitude and servitude. Why would you be so mean to me?" he demanded.

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "You did say that you owe me," she allowed as they entered the kitchen. "That comes with servitude? Well, then I certainly think lunch should be provided."

Fiyero made a face at her but made them each a sandwich and they settled at the kitchen island to eat.

"So is there a particular reason why your family gathers on Lurlinemas Eve and not the day?" Elphaba asked before taking a bite of hers.

Fiyero chuckled. "Uh, basically my aunt and uncle, the first year that they were married, decided that because our family is so important, the best way to festivate the holiday is with a formal dinner with about fifty of their family and friends."

"Fifty?"

"I may or may not be exaggerating somewhat," Fiyero allowed. "Anyway, because every one else decided the proper festivations for Lurlinemas involve presents, a lot of food and then doing absolutely nothing for the day, Vala and Huba host Lurlinemas Eve and we all do our own thing on Lurlinemas Day."

Elphaba nodded in understanding. "My father also enjoys a formal dinner," she said. "Except it was always just him, me and Nessa."

Three people at a long empty table. Not exactly a festive air.

"What does Lurlinemas Day look like then?" Elphaba asked him.

Fiyero grinned. "Presents, a lot of food and then absolutely nothing," he repeated.

As she laughed faintly, he shrugged. "Kas and Anton do presents with Noak at their place in the morning, and then come here for breakfast and more presents. Dad's parents come for lunch and then pretty much everyone spends the afternoon lazing around- except Noak, because he's a kid and doesn't appreciate how great naps are. And then we eat leftovers for the next week."

Fiyero's face sobered as he cocked his head thoughtfully. "What do you usually do?" he asked. "On your own, I mean."

Elphaba pushed aside the remnants of her sandwich and shrugged. "It's like any other day, except pretty much everything is shut so I can't go anywhere. Last year I worked and then came home and did a jigsaw puzzle while eating dinner and watching a documentary on the Vinko-Munchkin War."

Fiyero blinked. "Festive."

Elphaba grinned. "That was the point."

Fiyero frowned and Elphaba's face softened.

"Lurlinemas honestly has never been a big deal for me, Yero," she told him. "It's just a day. One that honestly has more fuss than it deserves."

"Sounds like you don't have many good Lurlinemas memories," Fiyero noted quietly.

She shrugged one shoulder. "No," she admitted. "But I don't have many bad memories either. It's just a day," she repeated.

Fiyero bent his head towards her slightly, leaning on his elbows on the kitchen island.

"Well Fae, maybe we can change that this year."

Elphaba rolled her eyes again. "Maybe," she agreed, clearly sceptical.

Fiyero wasn't sure whether she underestimated his confidence or determination. But he had plenty of both.

AN. I am Team "Die Hard is not a Christmas movie, it is a movie set at Christmas time." Anyone else?