Chapter 7

Fiyero scowled at his reflection in the mirror as he wrestled with his tie, ranting under his breath. The last time he'd checked, Lurlinemas was about family, blessings from the past year and all that stuff. As far as Fiyero was aware, a suit and tie were not necessary for any of those things. Having been forced to attend his aunt and uncle's annual function every year of his life, and having complained about wearing a suit and tie to said event every year since he was at least six years old, Fiyero's muttered rant was well rehearsed.

"Are you muttering away to me or yourself?"

Fiyero turned as the bathroom door opened, his hands stilling as he took in Elphaba.

"You-" he cleared his throat awkwardly, realising he was staring. "You look really… nice."

"Nice?" Elphaba repeated, smoothing down her dress. "Gee, they weren't exaggerating. You really are a smooth talker."

"Who's they?" Fiyero demanded and Elphaba grinned.

"Micah and Corin. Well, mostly Corin."

Fiyero rolled his eyes.

"With compliments like that, I can't believe you're single," Elphaba continued.

"Ha. Ha," Fiyero replied as she slipped on a pair of heels. "I don't think I've ever seen you in heels before," he realised. "Or dressed up."

She laughed slightly. "You've seen me when I have to go to court for work."

Fiyero scoffed. "You don't dress for court like that," he pointed out.

"No," Elphaba allowed, although she didn't think there was much difference between the dressier business clothes she wore when necessary for work, and the mid-calf length cocktail dress she wore now. Higher heels, she conceded.

She smoothed her dress down again needlessly. "Is this formal enough for tonight?" she asked tentatively.

"It's perfect," Fiyero reassured her, pulling his tie loose once more to start again.

Elphaba took pity on him, shaking her head slightly as she stepped towards him. "Every time."

"Not every time," Fiyero protested, handing her the tie readily. "The mirror just screws me up."

Elphaba snorted.

It was far from the first time that she'd needed to help him with a tie- they'd only known each other for two weeks when they both had to testify on a family law case and Fiyero had turned up at the courthouse with such a badly mangled tie that Elphaba had stepped in without a single hesitation. But as she swiftly arranged the tie into a neat knot around his neck and adjusted his collar, Fiyero was suddenly very aware of how close they were, and the room suddenly felt very warm.

"Maybe it's you," Fiyero said suddenly and Elphaba's eyes flickered up to him confusedly.

"What's me?"

"Why does my tie always get screwed up when you're conveniently around to fix it?" Fiyero asked.

Elphaba snorted again. "First it's the mirror's fault and now mine. Anyone else you'd like to blame?" she asked, her lips quirking as she stepped back.

"I'm sure I can think of something if you give me a second," Fiyero grinned, reaching for his jacket. "Are you ready?"

Elphaba nodded, checking her reflection in the mirror. She made a face, smoothed a hair that escaped the low ponytail she'd pulled her hair into and then turned away to pick up her things.

"Ready."

They met Odede and Ibrahim in the foyer, who handed Fiyero a set of keys.

"Your mother's just gathering together the last of the gifts," he told Fiyero. "But you go ahead with Elphaba- take Mom's car."

"Sure," Fiyero agreed, accepting the keys from his father. "Grams, do you want to come with us?"

Odede winked at him. "Oh dear, you don't want an old woman cramping your style," she replied and Fiyero grinned at her as Elphaba blushed faintly.

"We've been dating for three months, Grams," he reminded her.

Odede arched an eyebrow at him. "And the romance is gone already, is it? My, my. Elphaba, I'm terribly sorry. I thought he was raised better than that."

Elphaba's blush deepened, and Fiyero felt his own cheeks warm as his grandmother raised a finger to him.

"Your Grandad used to say that you never stop wooing a lady, because the moment you do, is the moment that you don't deserve her. Remember that, Yero."

Fiyero gaped at her silently, before looking to his father beseechingly. Ibrahim just grinned at him, his eyes shining with poorly disguised mirth.

"You've never listened when your mother and I have told the story of what I had to do to earn Grandad's blessing to propose to Mom, have you?"

"Sure I have," Fiyero lied. "It's a great story. Thanks guys, this has been super fun. We'll see you at Vala's," he said hastily, steering Elphaba towards the front door so quickly she barely had time to pull on her coat and gloves.

"What's the story of your dad and grandfather?" Elphaba asked after an incredibly awkward pause on the other side of the front door.

"I don't know," Fiyero admitted and Elphaba chuckled. "Come on. Dad put salt down, but it might still be slippery," he cautioned, offering her a steadying arm.

They headed to the garage in silence and only when they were at last on their way did Fiyero speak again.

"Wooing," he muttered under his breath, the only thing he could think of to say.

Elphaba made a sound that was possibly a choked back laugh, but Fiyero wasn't willing to take his eyes off the road to look over at her. The car seemed overly warm, and Fiyero couldn't be sure if that was because of the heater or just because of how embarrassing his family was.

"So, who exactly is going to be there tonight?" Elphaba asked finally, a smooth change of subject that Fiyero leapt upon gratefully. "Your aunt, uncle and cousins, I'm assuming?"

"And their families," Fiyero confirmed. "Kas and Anton will be there with Noak, and my Aunt Rilla should be there too. You'll like her- she's just like Grams. Oh, Nana and Grandpa- my dad's parents, I'm pretty sure they're coming too. They do most years. Beyond that, I'm not totally sure, it changes every year. Like I said, there's usually at least a few friends of Vala's or employees that maybe aren't going away for Lurlinemas or don't have anywhere else to go. Like, she's not an awful person," Fiyero reassured her.

"It's really just this imagined rivalry she has with my mom that is the issue, because it extends to me and Kastle. If someone spent your whole life dancing around in your face going 'haha I won' at a game you didn't even know you were playing and you don't care about winning, you wouldn't be keen to spend time with her either."

Elphaba was silent for a long moment. "I get that," she murmured finally, her tone heavy.

Fiyero wanted to look over at her, but he didn't. And he didn't ask her to elaborate, he just let the silence float in the air as he drove.

"What kind of rivalry?" Elphaba asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"Ah. Well, my parents got engaged first, although Vala and Huba had been together longer- so Vala made sure she got married before they did. Like, Vala's wedding was two months before my parents. And then children- Mom and Dad had two, so Vala made sure she had three. Now it's grandkids. Vala's about to get her the eighth grandchild, but my mom only has the one. So, it's a point for Vala. It kinda just gets more ridiculous from there. Like, Fintan's partner, Jip- he's non-binary. He/they, he's fine with either. Which somehow is a victory for Vala, because both Kastle and I have the audacity to live 'heteronormative lifestyles' or whatever. Which yes, is a phrase I once heard her say."

Elphaba made a confused sound. "How does Jip being non-binary reflect on Vala at all?"

Fiyero shrugged. "Beats me. We've given up trying to figure that one out."

As he pulled into the gate of Vala's estate, Elphaba leaned forward to peer up at the brightly lit house. It wasn't as outwardly large or grand as the Sutcliffe manor, but it was a very clear show of wealth. From what Fiyero had told her about his aunt, it didn't surprise her.

"Before your parents moved in with your grandmother, what was their house like?" she asked curiously.

Fiyero grinned at her knowingly. "Small house, one bathroom, big garden. But it was great… well, until Kastle hit puberty and decided to spend two hours in the bathroom every morning," he grumbled. "Again, one bathroom. I had to get up at dawn to be able to get into the bathroom before school."

Elphaba laughed. "I shared a dorm room with Galinda at Shiz. Trust me, I know your pain."

Fiyero chuckled as he parked the car.

As they approached the front door, Fiyero placed a hand on the small of her back.

"So," he announced. "Remember that I owe you forever. And that I apologise for my sister."

"Your sister?" Elphaba repeated. "I thought you were warning me about your aunt."

"Oh, Vala is probably going to say something to annoy me at some point," he agreed. "But Kastle is probably going to go all big sister. She has the full potential to be as annoying as Julyan, except she doesn't know the truth about us."

Elphaba scoffed as Fiyero rang the bell. "I'm sure I can handle it, Yero."

"Famous last words," he murmured under his breath, but before Elphaba could say anything else, the door opened and they were ushered inside by a maid.

As he peeled off his coat, Fiyero peered around the foyer.

"What are you doing?" Elphaba asked, handing her own coat and outerwear to the maid.

"Looking to see who's here. I'm pretty sure that was Fintan's car we parked next to. I need a buffer with Vala. Or at least a drink."

Elphaba rolled her eyes, although she wouldn't say no to a glass of wine.

The inside of the house was the same kind of vibe as the outside, but more "Lurlinemassy" as Fiyero would say. From what she could see, Elphaba almost felt like she'd wandered into Ostby's department store. Everything- the room, the furniture and the lavish Lurlinemas decorations- were all in hues of white, silver and gold.

Elphaba had never been more self-conscious about her green skin, and honestly, that was saying something.

"Yero, your aunt and uncle know I'm green, right?" she hissed to him, leaning in close.

Fiyero's face softened as he watched her taking in the white room.

"I made sure Mom gave everyone a head's up," he reassured her.

Fiyero led her into the living room, his shoulders easing as they approached a trio of people about their age standing by the bar in the corner.

"Yero!" exclaimed a young woman.

"Hey, Tri," Fiyero said warmly, hugging her tightly. "You look great."

"I'm still carrying half the baby weight, so you're a liar, but thank you," Tri grinned.

Her gaze drifted over his shoulder towards Elphaba, at least trying to be discreet but Fiyero still rolled his eyes as he turned and beckoned Elphaba forward.

"Elphaba, this is my cousin Tri, her fiancée Novus and my cousin Fintan. Everyone, this is Elphaba- my girlfriend."

Elphaba stepped forward, reminding herself to lean into Fiyero's hand as it came to rest on the small of her back once more instead of flinching away as was her instinct.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," Tri replied brightly. "It's so nice to finally meet you!"

"Finally?" Elphaba repeated, glancing to Fiyero quizzically.

"There's been a lot of rumours but not a lot of information about you," Fintan explain, shaking Elphaba's hand. "Fiyero wasn't saying much, and he's been friends with Julyan long enough that we don't consider him a reliable source of information."

"Why? What did Jules say?" Fiyero demanded. "And when was this?"

"I was talking to Kastle this morning, and she said she hadn't met you yet but Julyan had," Tri explained to him. "So, I texted him and asked. He was very complementary," she reassured Elphaba.

"Oh. Well… good," Elphaba said lamely, her cheeks feeling rather warm.

Tri turned to Fiyero. "Why did Jules tell me that I should tell you to watch Put a Bow on it?"

Fiyero stared at her blankly. "No idea. What is that?"

"It's that Lurlinemas movie where the guy asks his ex to pretend they're still together at his work Lurlinemas party so he can get land some big client," Tri explained.

Elphaba knew exactly what Julyan was doing, and she also suspected that Fiyero was going to have a stroke before the holidays were over at this rate.

"But his father is the CEO of the company, and they get sucked into keeping up the ruse for his whole family," she finished, and Fiyero's gaze jerked to her in surprise.

"Yeah!"

Elphaba smiled at Tri. "We were talking about Lurlinemas movies yesterday," she lied swiftly. "Julyan's trying to convince Fiyero to expand his movie repertoire."

Tri laughed. "Fiyero watching a movie where nothing blows up? I'll believe that when I see it."

"Overkill is a Lurlinemas classic. You don't need to watch anything else," Novus insisted.

Fiyero stared at Elphaba as Tri began to argue with her fiancé about the merits of Overkill as a Lurlinemas movie, and she could only shrug.

"It's one of Galinda's favourites," she said quietly. "It's a Quillark movie Lurlinemas movie that I have actually seen."

Fiyero caught her hand in his and squeezed it lightly, his face awash in gratitude and she smiled.

"Where's Jip?" Fiyero asked Fintan, changing the subject.

"They're upstairs changing," Fintan replied with a knowing grin that was rather reminiscent of his cousin's. "They had to come straight from work tonight."

"Jip's in construction," Fiyero told Elphaba.

"And working Lurlinemas Eve?"

"He's doing some minor work at the firm over the Lurlinemas break," Fintan said. "It made sense to do it over the holidays while the office while most people are gone."

Jip joined them a moment later and further introductions were made and drinks were offered, before Fiyero asked Fintan and Jip about their surrogate's health and forthcoming baby, and the subject changed to that and Tri's five-month-old twin girls.

"They're upstairs in the nursery," Tri explained to Elphaba, pulling out her phone to show off pictures. "Apparently a Lurlinemas party is 'no place for children.'"

Tri rolled her eyes, and Elphaba wasn't sure whether it would be appropriate to laugh or not. Glancing around the room at all the white, Elphaba could see why Fiyero's aunt would not want small children in the room, although she doubted how much mess two five-month-olds could really cause.

"What is this?" asked a new voice suddenly, as Elphaba dutifully admired endless photos of the twins on Tri's phone. "You come to a party and don't come greet your hosts? Is that how your parents raised you, Fiyero?"

Elphaba and Fiyero turned around in unison, and Fiyero plastered on a smile that Elphaba could immediately tell was forced.

"Hi, Aunt Vala," Fiyero greeted the tiny woman who was briskly crossing the room towards them, stepping forward to peck her cheek. "Happy Lurlinemas Eve."

"It's proper that you first find the host upon arrival and thank them for the invitation, you know," Vala replied with a sniff. "Especially with a stranger. The very least you could do is make introductions."

Fiyero opened his mouth, closed it and suppressed a sigh. "I'm sorry," he apologised, turning back towards Elphaba and extending a hand to her.

"Elphaba Thropp, this is my aunt, Vala Davenport," he obediently introduced them as Elphaba stepped to his side and slipped her hand into his without even thinking. As if it was the most natural thing in the world- which, she reminded herself, it was supposed to be if they were a real couple.

Elphaba, having grown up with her father, took an educated guess and instead of offering a hand to Vala, nodded her head respectfully towards her.

"Good evening, Mrs Davenport," she said politely. "Your home is lovely."

Vala's eyes ran over her critically, and Elphaba felt Fiyero tense beside her. But before he intervened, Vala nodded and extended a hand towards Elphaba.

"Thank you, Elphaba. You're very welcome here. I trust you're enjoying your stay in the Vinkus?"

"It's beautiful," Elphaba said honestly, shaking her hand.

"Mom, it's our fault that Yero hadn't found you yet," Fintan spoke up. "We distracted them."

Tri waved her phone towards her mother. "Baby photos."

Vala's face softened for a moment before she straightened her shoulders proudly. "Well, that's only natural," she said. "But it's still no excuse for poor manners, Fiyero."

She eyed Fiyero pointedly. "Your uncle is in the drawing room with the Felwicks. And remember that proper introductions are not made over the dinner table."

"Absolutely," Fiyero agreed.

When Vala continued to regard him silently, Fiyero clearly suppressed a sigh and led Elphaba away.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Elphaba snorted. "Please. I actually feel rather at home."

Fiyero raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, I have questions about that for later."

Elphaba found Fiyero's uncle pleasant enough, if not a little reserved, but she was pleasantly delighted to meet their friends the Felwicks. Mr Felwick was an antiquitarian who specialised in old books, and Mrs Felwick was a Literature professor at Dahl University. Elphaba would have happily talked to them until dinner, but she had a feeling that would go against the 'proper etiquette' that Vala was so fond of and Elphaba wasn't there to cause waves. So, she limited herself to a short discussion about the book restoration process before Fiyero excused them both.

"They seem lovely."

Fiyero snorted. "They like books. I'm shocked that you like them," he teased her and Elphaba laughed.

As they passed back through the foyer, the front door opened and three more people stepped inside.

"Uncle Yero!"

Fiyero dropped Elphaba's hand and stepped forward swiftly, sweeping the little boy up in the air as he dashed towards him.

"Hey, kiddo!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

He lifted him almost above his head for a moment and making him squeal with laughter, before he placed him back on his feet, kneeling down to study him with a critical frown.

"Is that really what you look like? I'm not used to seeing your face without a layer of jam or dirt or something," he teased.

The little boy made a face. "Mom made me take a bath," he explained.

"A travesty," Fiyero replied in a solemn tone.

"You could stand for a bath yourself, Yero."

"Hey, I showered this morning, thank you very much," Fiyero retorted, rising to his feet. "Hey, Kas."

Kastle looked nothing like her brother at first glance, but as Elphaba looked more closely while Kastle and Fiyero exchanged greetings and small talk, she was able to pinpoint the small details that they shared- the same nose, and their eyes crinkled in the same way when they smiled. As soon as they'd shed their coats, Kastle turned briskly towards Elphaba.

"Kas," Fiyero said warningly, but Kastle ignored him.

"Hi Elphaba, I'm Kastle," she introduced herself with a warm smile, extending a hand.

"Hi," Elphaba replied, a little uneasy. She couldn't help but think that convincing Kastle that she and Fiyero were truly a couple was going to be the real test here.

"This is Noak and my husband Anton," Kastle continued.

Anton shook Elphaba's hand with an easy grin. "I think Kastle wasn't sure you actually existed," he joked. "It's nice to meet you."

"My friend Knox has an imaginary friend too," Noak announced helpfully from where he was standing between Fiyero and Kastle. "He's a Panda."

Kastle grimaced faintly, while Elphaba wondered what the correct response to that statement was. Fiyero however, merely rolled his eyes and seized his nephew again, scooping him up into his arms.

"Elphaba is clearly not imaginary though, is she? No matter what lies your mother has been telling you."

Noak giggled. "Do you have any new dog photos?" he asked, wrapping his arms around Fiyero's neck.

Fiyero nodded. "Sure do. I'll show you before you go home tonight," he promised. "Now, do you want to say 'hi' to Elphaba nicely? She's heard a lot of very nice stories about you, and I told her how sweet and polite you are. Don't make me a liar, kiddo."

Noak peered around to meet Elphaba's eyes and smiled sweetly in a way that was very Fiyero-ish.

"Hi," he greeted her.

Elphaba smiled faintly. "Hi."

"Now, really."

They all turned as Vala strode into the foyer. "We do not congregate in the foyer, and we most certainly do not roughhouse in here," she scolded Fiyero, who hastily put Noak back on his feet. "There are valuables in here that are worth more than your life, Fiyero Tiggular, and I would have thought you would have learned your lesson by now. And Kastle- I expected better from you. You know perfectly well that Noak should be taken directly up to the nursery. This is precisely why we keep the children upstairs."

"Sorry, Aunt Vala," Kastle apologised.

Fiyero abandoned his sister with ease, grabbing Elphaba's hand and leading her back to the living room to join his cousins.

"Fintan and I broke a vase in the foyer when we were around nine," he hissed to Elphaba. "Vala's still mad about it, and she blamed me."

"Was it you?"

"Never," Fiyero swore, grinning at her innocently.

Elphaba didn't believe that for a moment.