Christmas Sweaters
The 'brothers' decide to wear matching 'ugly' Christmas sweaters as a joke on their wives. Christmas 2022.
"Ooh!" Breena pointed to the Christmas sweater on the screen of Ziva's computer. "Jimmy would so wear that!"
Dee and Ziva shared a look, 'of course he would.' Ziva bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing out loud. She was about to scroll down the screen in search of what they wanted.
"Click on that sweater, Ziva," Breena asked her sister-of-the-heart. "I want to see how much it is. I think I may have found one of Jimmy's gifts."
Ziva clicked the link to the item and slid her chair to the side so Breena could read the screen. She turned to Delilah and spoke quietly.
"Absolutely no way Tony or Tim would wear those," she grinned.
Dee nodded, "I would probably have to drug Tim and then get someone to put it on him." She glanced at Ziva with a wicked grin, "Like Tony…"
"I am not liking this," Ziva winked at the other two.
"What if… we tried to get all three of them to wear matching Christmas sweaters?" Dee shared her thoughts. "If TONY did it, the other two would follow his lead. Sort of big brother does it so little brothers gotta imitate him…"
Breena clicked the mouse and pulled up another page with 'ugly' Christmas sweaters in men's' sizes. She scrolled the page and found several that were on sale or on BOGO or similar deals.
"Here's one that is on clearance at three for the original price of one," she pointed to the screen. "It's not all that bad. Red and white, the deer isn't too cutesy or ugly. I think it's supposed to be Rudolph. This one with the snowman is also on clearance for even less!"
Ziva was about to answer her when Anthony's voice in the hallway interrupted.
"Whatcha doin' Abba? Ima says it's not nice to eavesdrop," the young DiNozzo approached his father in the hall for his parents' offices.
~Sweaters~
Tony took the sprig of mistletoe from Tim and put it against the ceiling in the breakfast area of the kitchen. He pressed the stapler against the stem and tried to fasten the mistletoe to the ceiling. Nothing came out of the stapler.
"Dang; out of staples," he commented as he climbed down the stepladder. He placed the mistletoe sprig on the small shelf and continued, "I have staples in my office; be right back. Is this the last one?"
Tim counted the pieces in his hand, "Two more after this one, although I have no idea where you are gonna put them. You have enough mistletoe around this house to start your own mistletoe farm."
"Be right back."
Tony headed towards his office and heard Breena mention the Christmas sweater. He stopped outside Ziva's office door and listened to the conversation.
'…drug Tim and then get someone to put it on him … like Tony…' Delilah's voice sounded conspiratorial and mischievous.
He heard Ziva respond, 'I am not liking this…' He instantly recognized her sarcasm and knew that she did indeed like whatever plan her co-conspirators were about to hatch.
'What if… we tried to get all three of them to wear matching Christmas sweaters?' Dee paused and he could picture her grinning at the other two. 'If TONY did it, the other two would follow his lead. Sort of big brother does it so little brothers gotta imitate him…'
He heard the chairs move slightly and some mouse-clicks and a conversation about certain sweaters. Just as he was about to go into his office, Anthony came around the corner and called out.
Ziva sprung from her chair as she spun it towards the door. Breena and Delilah looked up as Ziva's hand reached out of the door.
"Not so fast, Anthony D. DiNozzo, Junior!" Ziva latched on to the back of her husband's shirt and yanked him backwards. "How long have you been out here listening?"
Anthony gulped and stepped back to watch the scene unfold. Ima had her 'Ima glare' directed at his father. Abba was in trouble! Anthony almost wished he could call out to his siblings to come watch.
Tony turned around to face his wife; her look had him cringing immediately. Even thirteen-month-old LJ knew that look; it meant the recipient was in deep trouble with the mama bear of the house.
"Um… not long… getting some staples from my office," he held up the empty stapler. "Um… to hang the mistletoe…"
Ziva swiveled her head towards her son, "Is this true?"
Anthony opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by his father.
"Don't bring the kid into it; he just now came around the corner."
"Is that the truth, Anthony?" Ziva kept her hand on her big child as she questioned his mini-me.
"Yes, Ima; I didn't see anything or hear anything. I promise," Anthony backed against the wall.
Ziva nodded at the boy, "Then you are free to go. You are not in trouble." She turned back to her husband, "Now, you were saying?"
Tony gulped; at least he'd gotten the kid out of her radar. "I swear to you; I am here to get staples for the stapler from my office. It ran out when I was trying to put the sprig over the breakfast nook table. Tim is waiting for me to come back."
Ziva narrowed her eyes at him and glared silently, letting him sweat a bit. "Since there are witnesses, I will let you off this time…" She let go of his shirt and turned back to her office. Dee and Breena quickly pretended to be interested in the computer monitor.
~Sweaters~
Tony hung the last three sprigs and then asked Jimmy and Tim to help him in the garage. Ziva, Dee, and Breena decided to continue their plotting at another time, and moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the family.
In the garage, Tony motioned for the two younger men to follow him to the far corner from the door to the kitchen.
"What's up, Tony?" Tim looked at Jimmy as he spoke; both of them knew Tony was up to something by the way he was acting.
"Shh," Tony glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the door to the house. "Gotta make sure we are out of Ninja hearing…" He moved a few of the totes from the Christmas decorations to make a barrier and pulled the other two behind it.
"Geez, Tony; this really isn't the time of year to start a prank," Jimmy wanted no part of any shenanigans so close to the holiday. He'd never hear the end of it from Breena if she found out.
Tim nodded, "I agree with Jimmy. No pranks Tony."
"You wound me… this is nothing to do with a prank. It's too close to Christmas, I'm already in hot water with Ziva, and… " he hesitated when he thought he heard a sound from near the door. He waited a minute and then continued to tell his brothers what he'd overheard earlier.
"No way I'm gonna wear one of those ugly sweaters," Tim declared.
Jimmy shrugged, "Whatever. I think they're sort of fun for a day."
"Yeah, we know," Tony smirked. "But… I have a plan to thwart their plan."
Tim looked at Jimmy, "Why do I think we are going to be roped into something we will probably regret?"
Tony put a hand on Tim's shoulder, "Oh ye of little faith… Seriously, I think we – as in the three of us – should order some matching sweaters and then wear them to the next family dinner. The ones they were looking at on Ziva's computer were on that mega-website… I'd bet we can find something that we are okay with wearing just one time."
Tim shrugged, "I dunno… I don't want to be on Dee's shit list at Christmas…"
Jimmy pulled his phone out of his pocket and navigated to the app for the mega-site. He tapped a few screens and turned it towards the others.
"Here are some that are on clearance and not to outrageously priced," he explained.
"They were talking about a reindeer and a snowman," Tony reminded him as he grabbed his own phone from his pocket.
Tim glanced over at Tony, "You're serious about this? Not that we order the sweaters, agree to wear them at the same time, and then you crap out on us?"
Tony flicked at his screen, "Yes, I am serious… hey, look… here are some with snowmen and they are on clearance for about fifteen dollars each! Take a look." He turned his phone around so the others could see his screen.
"Red with white trim on cuffs, waist, and neck; red, white, green stripes on the sleeves; red body… AND, the snowman on the front. Not a bad looking one; it has a black hat, blue scarf, 'carrot' nose… I could do that one," Tim thought out loud.
"Do they have extra-large?" Jimmy grinned at Tim and Tony.
"Three left… should I go ahead and order?" Tony hovered his finger over the screen.
"YES; before Tim chickens out," Jimmy replied as he nudged Tim.
Tony tapped the screen, "Done. Should be here on Tuesday. I chose that delivery day since I will be home with the kids while Ziva takes a final exam on campus." He grinned at his brothers, "Next week's family dinner for sure."
He had his brothers help put the totes back on the shelves in the storage area of the garage and then the three went back inside.
"There you are," Breena exclaimed. "We were wondering where you three went; it's almost time for dinner."
Tony snuggled up behind Ziva who was putting the last of the wedges of cornbread into a serving basket lined with a towel to help keep the food warm.
"Mmm… smells good," he nuzzled into her neck from behind.
"You had better not be up to any pranks with Tim and Jimmy," she spoke quietly so only he could hear her. "You do know that I do not like pranks at the holidays, yes?"
He thought fast, "I… uh.. I'm apologizing for earlier when you thought I was eavesdropping. Forgiven?" He made his best puppy eyes at her and grinned.
"For now," she handed him the basket of cornbread wedges to take to the dining room. "Let us eat." Tony's stomach growled in response; she swatted his belly playfully and smirked.
~Sweaters~
The sweaters arrived as expected on Tuesday while Ziva was out. The twins and LJ were napping, and Anthony and Tali were still at school when the delivery truck pulled into the DiNozzo driveway. Tony took the package to his office to open and tried on one of the sweaters. He figured if it fit him, it would fit the other two as well. Seemed comfortable and the fit was okay, so he washed all three and had them in the dryer when the little kids woke from naps. Before Tali and Anthony got off the bus, he managed to slip the three folded sweaters into the garage and put them in one of the empty totes for the Christmas decorations.
On Saturday, the family gathered at the DiNozzo house for the family meal. Tony pulled Tim and Jimmy into the garage to change into the sweaters.
"I'm not sure," Tim hesitated as Jimmy slipped a sweater over his head.
"Oh, no, McChicken… you are going to wear one just like me and the Gremlin here," Tony shoved a sweater into Tim's hands. "Watch me… I'm putting my sweater on now…" He slipped the sweater over his head and tugged it down.
Tim sighed; he reluctantly pulled his sweater over his head and adjusted it. "I feel like a jerk," he muttered. "Look worse, I'm sure…"
"Put on your happy face, Timmy boy. We're going in," Tony led the way to the door to the house. "On three… one… two… three!" He opened the door to the kitchen and stepped inside followed by the two younger men.
"Um, Tony… no one is in the kitchen…" Jimmy observed.
Tim tried to slink back into the garage, but Tony grabbed his arm.
"Oh no you don't. We're in this together!"
"Ba-ba!" LJ ran into the kitchen from the family room. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted the three identically dressed men. "Ba-ba?"
Tony scooped the baby into his arms, "It's okay buddy, Uncle Tim, Uncle Jimmy, and Abba are being silly grown-ups. Where is Ima?"
LJ pointed towards the family room as Tony motioned for Tim and Jimmy to follow him. The three walked into the family room to find the others engrossed in a video game that simulated decorating for Christmas. They seemed to be playing in teams with the adults.
Dee heard a noise behind her and turned around to see the brothers in their sweaters.
"Hey, Ziva, Breena…"
"Just a minute. I'm trying to get this star on the tree," Breena answered.
Ziva turned around to see what Delilah wanted. Her mouth dropped open.
"I. Have. No. Words," Delilah tried not to giggle at Ziva's expression. The others heard Dee's exclamation and paused the game. All of them turned to look at the sight.
"Dey same!" Rivka pointed and laughed at her Abba and uncles.
"Merry Christmas from the brothers from another mother," Tony chortled as he moved between the younger men.
"Pictures! We need pictures! They'll be evidence in the future when Tony and Tim try to deny it," Abby squealed as she grabbed her phone.
"Daddy? Why are you and Uncle Tony and Uncle Jimmy all dressed the same?" Katie tugged at her father's sleeve.
"Uncle Tony made us do it," he grinned at his daughter.
Ziva walked over to take LJ from Tony so the others could take pictures, "You were eavesdropping…"