Hiatus Message
Dearest readers – If you have been following along, you will know that I have not been able to post regularly as I attempt to fill the Advent prompts.
I don't want to overshare, but life has been difficult for me for some time. Major changes in my life, compounded by the pandemic, have taken their toll on my mental health. I know that some people find it cathartic to write through their pain – I am apparently not one of those people. I feel I have lost much of my creativity, along with my inclination to write.
I had hoped that the exercise of writing for the Advent prompts, which I've loved doing in years past, would renew my enjoyment of writing, but that has not been the case. I'm finding it harder and harder, as evidenced by the fact that it took me nearly two full months to go through 12 of the 24 prompts. I've been racking my brain for several days trying to come up with something for the 13th prompt, "Pat." It's a simple word, and one which the old me would have been able to write a story for in short order. I can't seem to come up with anything now, though.
I truly and deeply appreciate the comments and kudos that I've received on the 12 entries I've posted so far. You are all very kind and supportive, and I smile at every word you write. I have struggled mightily to write the 12 entries that I've posted, and have not been happy with most of them, to be honest. I don't feel that they're up to my usual standards (not that my prior work was anything outstanding) – they're not as well-written, developed, or, for lack of a better word, good as I'd like.
I don't want to keep posting what I consider to be subpar work. I also don't want to keep putting pressure on myself to write when I have no inspiration to do so. I know the pressure is self-imposed; that does not make it any less real. Instead of bringing joy, trying to write has become a chore. Failing to meet my expectation to write each day has become a source of unhappiness. So, I have decided to put this on hiatus for now. I need to step away and remove the expectation from myself. I am sorry to disappoint anyone. I am extremely disappointed in myself for not completing something that I started.
I cannot emphasize enough that I am not fishing for compliments or sympathy in posting this. I simply wanted to let anyone who might be expecting additional posts know that for now, none will be coming. I am hopeful that in the future, I will be able to find my way back to a place where I can enjoy writing again. I feel like I have more stories to tell. One of the few things that still brings peace to me is reading fanfiction, and I want to contribute again when I can. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, as always.
-ItsNotEasyBeingQueen