"The spider boy?! You're kidding me!"
Maxwell turns from the shadow manipulator to Wendy, his face full of confused disgust. He shouts his words knowing very well that nobody will hear them; he likes to live away from the common folk.
"Cast your judgment some other day. I need something from you."
Wendy remains confident in her stance and attitude, Abigail floats beside her for support. Wendy speaks unabashedly, expecting backlash from her uncle.
The magician groans, turning back to the shadow manipulator.
"Great. You come here bringing me this awful news and now you want something from me. As if today couldn't get any worse."
Wendy walks closer to Maxwell, speaking stronger than before.
"I'm serious. I need your help."
"Jeez… couldn't you have fallen in love with a normal kid?" Maxwell waves his hand in the air, churning another gripe. "Like uh… that Walter kid! He isn't a monster! And better yet, he isn't Wilson's kid!"
Wendy sighs, tossing aside her previous thought to answer Maxwell's question. She shakes her head disapprovingly, speaking with not an ounce of care.
"If I had to court anybody other than Webber, I'd simply up and die from boredom."
"Ugh… I can't believe we're related."
Maxwell moves away from the shadow manipulator, grabbing something from a nearby chest. Wendy and Abigail follow him and block his path back to the manipulator.
"The issue still stands. I need you to help me with Webber."
"With Webber? What, do you want me to make you a love potion?
"No! Listen to me!"
Maxwell turns away from the chest, looking towards Wendy. He stands up straight and crosses his arms, saying nothing as his judgemental stare lingers.
Wendy gets the memo. She speaks again, her every word calculated and rehearsed.
"Help me express my feelings towards Webber in a way that makes sense."
Maxwell lifts an eyebrow, remaining silent.
"I like him. But I don't know how to show him that. You must teach me."
Wendy recalls the events that transpired in the morning. The memory makes her warm inside, but a part of her still can't remember how they got to that point. If she can't make that happen again, then nothing else will.
Maxwell drops his act, putting his hands on his waist while speaking as understanding as possible.
"Kid, why me? Shouldn't you ask Wickerbottom or uh, Willow? I'm sure they understand courting better than me."
"I don't want the other survivors to know about our relationship. I know you won't tell them."
Maxwell almost shoots back a comical retort when the passive insult hits him.
"… Uh huh. That's because I don't talk to anybody, right?"
"Of course. You are the loneliest person I know."
Maxwell rolls his eyes, speaking while walking past Wendy and Abigail to the shadow manipulator; they let him pass.
"Thanks kid, you're really putting me on cloud nine." Maxwell tries to work with the manipulator, but he can only sight and turn back to Wendy, crossing his arms as he looks at the ghastly twins. "Okay, I'll help you. But, on one condition."
Wendy nods, ready for whatever. Knowing him, Maxwell could ask an assortment of things. Shadow fuel, beard hair, spider glands…
"You have to call me Uncle Maxwell from now on. It's the least you can do."
Wendy blinks. When she speaks, there's a mix of surprise and shallowness in her voice.
"A deal worse than death… fine. But I expect you to actually help me."
Maxwell smiles brightly, lifting his hands in a carefree manner.
"Of course! I was quite the charmer back in the day, you know."
"Sure…"
Wendy stares at Abigail. They both roll their eyes.
"Say, Wendy… Why are you covered in berry juice?" Maxwell tilts his head before flipping his hand in the air, forgoing the thought. "It doesn't matter, c'mon kid, first things first. You're getting a change of clothes."
Pulling out his codex umbra and flipping a few pages, Maxwell summons shadow puppets to surround Wendy. They stretch a bit and grab some tools around the small camp, mimicking their master.
"Get comfortable Wendy, you'll be spider bait in no time!"
"You and Wendy? It's about time you talked about it!"
Wilson chuckles as he fiddles at the alchemy engine, Wes beside him clapping with joy. The camp is inhabited by only the three survivors, everyone else still enjoying the beautiful day.
Webber stands before the duo, his excitement momentarily dashed by the statement.
"Huh? What does that mean?"
"Well, it was only a matter of time before you two fell in love." Wilson turns from the machine to Webber, visualizing his point with two twigs. "It's scientific. Boy plus girl equals love."
Webber scratches his head, asking another question.
"But Mr. Wilson, Wes isn't a girl."
Wilson, overcome with embarrassment, covers his face. He shakes his head slowly as Wes gives him a big loving hug.
"This isn't about me, Webber…"
It takes a minute before Wilson is ready to talk again, his time spent sharing smooches with his mime boyfriend. The gentleman scientist clears his throat, finishing his thought.
"So, Webber, what do you need help with?"
"Well… We really like Wendy, and we think she likes us too!" Webber smiles at the idea, feeling his cheeks warm up. "But we don't know what to do about it. Aren't boys and girls supposed to get married?"
Wilson scoffs with a smile as Wes shakes his head. The two adults look at each other for a second before turning back to Webber, crouching down to be on his level.
"Webber, you're hardly old enough for that. You need time to understand and develop your feelings with Wendy." Wilson stands back up, putting his hands on his waist. "I'd say it's time for you two to start courting!"
Wes stands up, blowing a pink heart balloon. He offers it to Webber who blinks all eight of his eyes, clearly confused.
"Do what?"
"Courting!" Wilson smiles as his scientific brain goes to work. "Courting is the experience of developing a deep relationship with someone, ultimately determining if they are right for you. The end results allow you and the other to date. And I'm sure you know what dating is."
Webber nods his head, digesting every word. As he thinks about the possibility of dating Wendy, he speaks up.
"But, can't we start dating now? Courting sounds hard."
"Sorry Webber." Wilson shrugs, speaking softly. "It's safer this way, you don't want to go head first into a relationship without really thinking about it. Especially considering she's associated with Maxwell."
Before Webber can disagree, Wilson speaks enthusiastically.
"Just look at me and Wes! Courting works." Wilson turns to Wes as they plant another kiss on his face. They're adorable.
"Now, Webber, if we want to start your courting property, firstly, we need to get you cleaned up."
The two surround Webber, picking him up as they prepare to tidy up the spider boy. He doesn't respond, deciding that the adults must know what's best.
"Let's get to work Wes!"
"Wendy, If you think anyone is going to love you in that, then you're out of your mind."
"No offense Webber, but Wes thinks putting on some clothes would help."
"Here, put this on!"
"Your hair is a mess! How do you live with yourself?"
"Webber… there's so many knots in your fur, we're sorry but this is going to hurt!"
"Just stay still!"
"If you want a good relationship, you need to let that kid know you're the one in charge. Don't let anybody walk over you. Well, maybe let some people walk over you, but be smart about it."
"A good start to any courtship must have equal understanding. You need to let Wendy know how you feel, then things can get started. Let's plan your confession accordingly, a gentleman never improvises plans."
"No, say this instead!"
"You call that a smile? You look scarier than Webber."
"Um, maybe don't smile so hard. Your teeth are a little… freighting."
"Smile like this!"
"Just listen to us and everything will work out fine!"