2.
El's in the woods. She doesn't know if she's allowed to be out here but after everyone left, Joyce and Jonathan were so busy interrogating Will that she was able to sneak out without them noticing.
Just like the flower she'd picked in the field, the leaves on the trees have turned grey. Most have fallen to the floor leaving the branches bare, as if it were winter, so that when she looks up she has a much clearer view of the sky than she would usually.
The outline of the mindflayer has vanished and if it wasn't for Mike and Will and Hop having seen it too, she would have wondered if she'd made it up. Imagined it. Its disappearance doesn't reassure her. It almost makes things worse, knowing it's out there somewhere hiding, like its master, 001. The sky itself is still streaked with red and black. It looks like a painting Will might do. Both pretty and sinister at the same time. Dustin had told them the news was saying it was a rare side effect of the earthquake. Nancy had said they were lucky the public were stupid enough to believe it.
El knows she needs to do the piggyback. She knows she needs to find 001 and kill him, freeing Max in the process. But she also knows she lost last time and that losing again would be very bad for them all. Catastrophic.
With her right arm thrown out in front of her, her left already balancing a few sticks in a circle mid-air, multitasking, she concentrates. The familiar trickle of blood runs down her nose. She screams through gritted teeth, trying to keep the noise to a minimum. Just a bit more, she tells herself. Focus. Think of 001, think of what he did to Max.
"Hey, kid."
The sticks fall to the ground with a thud. She frowns.
"Whatcha doing out here?"
"Trying to lift that tree."
He snorts. "Of course you are!"
"I've lifted heavier," she tells him. "Before."
"Trees are tricky buggers though. Gotta know what you're doing. One wrong hit and that tree will fall right down on top of you."
She turns to face him, wondering if whatever happened to him has made him lose his memory, a bit like her back at the lab when she was little. "I have superpowers," she reminds him. "That wouldn't happen."
"All I'm saying, El, is that being out here, lifting trees, might not be the smartest idea you've ever had. Are you following?"
"I can't go out again?"
"You're a little conspicuous with that new haircut."
"Con- spic..?"
"Conspicuous. Noticeable. Has Joyce not taught you anything while I've been gone?"
"She's taught me lots," El says seriously. "I understand money now. And grammar. And I… I can use a Hoover. Will's shown me how to draw and read comics. Jonathan's taught me how to cook- sort of, I burn stuff usually, but we made a cake for Joyce's birthday. And-"
He chuckles. "I was joking, El. I know Joyce and the boys took good care of you." He nudges her gently with his arm. "I hope I get a cake for my birthday though."
"You will. With lots of icing. That's the best bit."
"Still got that sweet tooth then?"
She knows that expression, Mike's said it to her before too. "Yes. A sweet tooth."
He smiles at her and then looks away into the woods, as if he's trying to lift the tree too. "God, I missed you, El."
Her chest makes that funny feeling it does sometimes when someone has said something nice to her. "I missed you too."
"Reckon it kept me alive, the thought of getting back to you and Joyce."
El's been responsible a few times for keeping people alive but never in that way before.
"And now I'm back here, and I…" he shakes his head. "Never mind. I'm back and we have some serious catching up to do. I was going to head to the cabin for a bit, see what we can salvage to bring to Joyce's, get a bit of furniture in the place. Want to come? You can tell me all about California, about the beach, what it was like going to school…"
"I thought I wasn't allowed out."
"You're allowed out, we just might need to get you a hat. And no powers in public, okay?"
"Maybe Dustin will let me borrow a hat."
"And powers?" he prompts, undeterred.
She frowns down at her hands. "I need to practice for the piggyback. Need to beat 001 this time."
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I'm the only one who can beat him. Papa said."
"Papa." He says the name with such disgust a bit of spit flies out his mouth at the same time. "That bastard doesn't deserve a second of your attention."
"But he's right. And Max needs me. Hawkins needs me."
Hopper sighs. "Then we have to compromise. You can practice your powers but only at Joyce's house or my cabin. Not outside, not anywhere else, you understand?"
She considers. It's not perfect, there is far more to practice with outside. But while Will says 001's still weak, she still has time. This half-way happy with have to do. "I understand," she confirms.
Early the next morning, Argyle drives them to the hospital on his way out of Hawkins. El's glad he's leaving. Unlike Will, she had liked his frequent presence in their house, it was like having actually made a friend in California. And he was nice to her, unlike the mouthbreathers at school. But once he's gone, that's one less person she has to worry about protecting.
Even with the passenger seat free, she sits in the back of the van beside Will. He's not said much to her since they came up with the plan for her to reach 001 from the inside of his head, but when she'd said she wanted to visit Max, he'd decided to come too.
He's staring out the window, looking at the changes to Hawkins. She copies him, using his window rather than the one nearest her, so that they see the same. They pass a house that's half destroyed, a bedroom with no front to it, bricks across the garden. A little further down the road, they watch a family shove possessions into the already full trunk of their car. A homemade sign reads 'Get Satanists out of Hawkins'.
Frowning, unsure what the word means, she shifts her gaze to Will. Something about him seems different today, but it's hard to tell if it's just that they've had to borrow clothes and he's dressed as Mike rather than himself. She wanted to wear Mike's clothes too, but the jeans were too long even after she'd rolled them several times. Instead, she went for an old blue dress of Nancy's with Mike's jumper over the top and Mike's socks pulled up as far as her knees. The clothes still smell of him and she keeps finding herself lowering her chin to get a good sniff of the jumper and the comfort it brings.
Will realises she's watching him and shifts his position so that he's facing her, their knees angled towards each other.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yes."
"We don't have to go to the hospital if you don't want," he says. "I know it's hard… seeing Max like that. We could-"
"I'm okay."
He pauses and she thinks he's going to say something else. Something significant. But he just shrugs and mutters a quiet okay in return.
After Argyle has dropped them off, they stand with the hospital to behind them, watching him drive away, the noise of his music gradually fading. Once he's gone, they exchange a look, and then enter the building.
El hates hospitals. The clean walls and sterile smell and the people in long white coats are far too similar to the lab. It reminds her of tests and being watched and being told to do it again and again and again. And now, a whole load of new-old memories to add to that. Blood and pain and fear. She tries to take a deep breath but it comes out shaky. She wishes Mike was here so she'd have his hand to hold onto.
Will opens the door to Max's room but holds it open for her, meaning she has to enter first. From the angle of the room, she sees Lucas before she sees Max. He's in the same position he was in last time they visited, in a chair beside the bed, book in his hands but eyes not on the pages. It's as if he never left. She remembers Dustin says he barely has left at all.
"Hey," he says. He doesn't stand this time. "Hey, I'm glad you're here. Max is too."
El frowns slightly. Max isn't glad, she doesn't even know they're here, but El knows better these days than to voice that out loud. There's only one spare chair in the room, which she leaves for Will, resting herself on the edge of the bed, facing Max.
Her friend looks all wrong, so far from the girl who loves to skateboard, who taught her how to shop and can answer anything she doesn't understand about boys or relationships. Her eyes are shut but there's scarring beneath them and her skin is so pale that El wants to touch it, to check it's not about to dissolve away. Her arms and legs are all wrapped up in something El hadn't seen before, something Mike called casts and told her they helped bones mend. El remembers the sound of snapping bones and the unnatural angle her limbs had bent at while she lay in Lucas's arms.
"What does the doctor say?" she asks.
"No change," Lucas replies. "I don't think they know what to do."
"How come?" Will asks. He's sat beside Lucas, having moved the spare chair from the other side of the room.
"Well, it's not like anything they're used to treating, is it? It's not like she's had a heart attack or been in a car accident. The usual things they do aren't working. They just keep saying that she's not responding and they don't know why."
"We know why," El says.
"But we can't tell them that. Even if we did, it's not like they cover Vecna attack at medical school."
She stares down at Max, determined. "They fix the broken bones. We do the rest."
"By finding Vecna through the piece of him that's inside Will's head?" Lucas sounds unsure.
"Yes."
He turns to Will. "And you're okay with that?"
"Well, it worked with Max, so."
"Yeah, about that... What exactly happened? What did you see?"
El hesitates. She doesn't know how to put it all into words. "I saw what Max saw," she says.
"Which was..?"
"Memories." She makes eye contact with Lucas and knows exactly what he's about to ask next. "Private memories," she says.
"You saw."
"I had no choice." She looks back at Max. She's so still. "001 was there."
"In her memories?"
"Yes. We fought. Max too, she tried to save me."
"She did?"
It's the first smile she's seen from Lucas since they got back to Hawkins.
"She did."
"It sounded like you were choking," Will says.
She touches her neck. As soon as she'd woken, the pain had vanished, no sign of bruises, but she can still remember how it had felt to have the vines wrap around her neck. She can remember seeing Max opposite, trapped and barely conscious, and having no way to save her.
"El?" Lucas says. "I need to know. When it- when it happened, was she… awake? Did she know what was happening to her? Could she… feel it?"
El looks up at Lucas. His eyes are wide, pleading with her for an answer she does not want to give. She doesn't speak, but frowns slightly, trying not to tremble and give it away that way instead.
"I need to know," he repeats. His eyes are damp. "I wasn't there for her and I- I need to know everything that I missed."
She feels her own eyes fills with tears. She can't forget how he'd looked on the floor, crying over Max's limp body. The sounds that he'd made were so raw, like an animal in pain, that it was hard to believe they'd come from Lucas.
"And if she- if she knew that I'd let her down, that I hadn't saved her like I promised I would, that-"
"It wasn't your fault," she says.
Lucas buries his head in his hands. His body shakes with a sob. "I just want to tell her that I'm sorry," he says, voice muffled, "and that I love her."
"You ca-" she starts.
All of a sudden there's a loud noise as Will scoots backwards in his chair, the chair legs screeching against the floor. He's flat against the wall, still in his chair, breathing heavily. His eyes are wide and he's staring at Lucas.
She jumps up. "Will?"
Lucas wipes roughly at his cheek. "Will, what happened? Is it Vecna?"
El goes to his side and crouches in front of him, a hand on each shoulder. She inspects his face closely. He looks a little like he does after he's just woken from a nightmare. She traces her hands down his arms until they reach his hands and then clasps them in hers. She squeezes them. It takes longer than usual, a long few seconds and several deep breaths, but then he squeezes back.
"Sorry," he says. It's more of a whisper.
"Was it 001?"
He shakes himself slightly and sits upright, pulling his hands out of hers. "No," he says. "No, it wasn't him. I just… I guess I hate hospitals even more than I realised. Freaked out for a moment there. But it's fine. Everything's fine. It wasn't him. Sorry for the fuss."
El looks back at Lucas and they share a look, unconvinced. Friends don't lie. Or at least, they shouldn't.