Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new ~ Ursula K. Le Guin
Not working full-time isn't as strange during Karen's recovery from the lab explosion as it was when she was laid off. The upside is that she's salaried, and they let her have input at work even while she's laid up at home. The downside is that she can't take Denny on adventures like she did the last time she was home.
Denny is older now, a teenager enough to need less time with his mothers and more time with his friends, but he doesn't mind sharing an Uber with her to get to his friend's house to work on a school project. In a way, it's nicer than if driving were easier because she can devote her full attention to whatever he chooses to chat about.
Although Karen intended to just drop him off and maybe tip her driver into picking up lunch at her favorite bistro, his friend's mother comes out to the car and invites her in. Remembering her own days at home where she wanted a little bit of adult conversation, she agrees, sending the driver on his way. Jasmine is a stay-at-home mom who was an orthopedist before she had her two-year-old twins, and it's not the first time she's sought Karen out for a bite to eat and a bit of shop talk.
Once they've got coffee and some gloriously tasty apple, turkey, and cheddar paninis in front of them, Jasmine looks over at Karen and smiles. "You're looking quite well for being two weeks after major surgery. I don't know how you do it."
Karen laughs and shrugs. "The aftereffects come and go. They cleared me for driving, but I'm erring on the side of caution with as crazy as LA traffic can get."
"When do you go back to work? I figure the lab is a loss, but they can relocate your team a bit, I hope."
"Four to six weeks before I go back to the office. The lovely part of being a supervisory level researcher is that there are plenty of things for me to do while they construct a new lab. I'll oversee a different department while a coworker takes paternity leave."
"Do you think they'll get your lab rebuilt in just four months?"
"It's possible if the contractor is good. The real challenge will be replacing some of the equipment in that timeframe. The supply chain is still wobbly from when everything shut down."
They shift to chatting about an upcoming event at the boys' school, enjoying their food, and finishing off the pot of expensive and exotic coffee Jasmine brewed. The twins wake up from their nap, wandering in and beaming at their visitor. Karen can't help but feel a pang of longing as she observes Jasmine rushing around, setting out snacks and sippy cups. She isn't the only one who struggled through IVF, and she can't begrudge Jasmine that she succeeded where Karen and Hen didn't. It's been so long since they had a small child as a foster child.
Jasmine glances at her curiously. "Your mood just shifted back and forth like a pendulum."
"Just a bit of baby fever, I suppose."
"Oh. I'd forgotten that you weren't fostering anymore due to Karen's schooling."
"We're back on the list as foster parents, although right now it's on a hiatus for my recovery for at least a few more weeks." It's something Karen is looking forward to even more than returning to workâhearing that knock on the door and seeing their social worker there with a child in need of the cozy safe haven she and Hen can provide.
That stops Jasmine in her tracks, and she looks puzzled. "The last time we had lunch, you said being foster parents wasn't a good idea with Hen in medical school. You were right, because I couldn't imagine having kids while I was finishing medical school, much less during my residency."
"Hen was already having doubts about leaving the fire department before the lab explosion. After it? She knew where she needed to be, and it wasn't in medical school."
"So she's throwing out two years of study to go back to being just a firefighter?"
Karen stiffens at the words, wincing a little when she pulls at her still-healing side. "I'm not sure I like your tone toward Hen's chosen occupation, Jasmine."
To her credit, Jasmine flinches at Karen's stern tone, but the shame doesn't last long. "Anyone can be a firefighter, Karen. Hen has a brilliant mind, and she's wasting it by staying with the fire department."
The open snobbery toward people Karen knows and adores gets her to her feet, and she calls out to Denny to see if he's ready to go. He's good, so Karen makes her way to the foyer and slips her shoes back on while she waits. It's rude to walk away from Jasmine the way she is, but Karen isn't sure she could stop herself if she started pointing out the absolute wrongness of Jasmine's viewpoint.
Unfortunately, Jasmine follows her, but it's not to apologize. "Come on, Karen, you and I both know that Hen would be an amazing doctor, and there aren't enough women like us, women of color, in hospitals. Think of the lives she'd save."
"I am thinking of the lives she'll be saving, Jasmine, and all the ones she's already saved. You want to look down on the firefighters and paramedics as if your education somehow makes you better than them, and all I can say is that you've never been more mistaken in your entire life."
Karen is half-panting by the time she finishes, and she's kept her voice level only by sheer force of will. The only thing that stops her from saying more is Denny and Jamie appearing, and luckily, Jasmine isn't willing to continue the debate in front of the boys. Only a lifetime of adherence to etiquette gives Karen the ability to bid Jasmine goodbye politely.
"Mom?" Denny asks as they reach the sidewalk. "Did you forget to call for a ride?"
Taking a moment to center herself by taking a deep breath, Karen nods, feeling a bit embarrassed. She uses the app to summon a driver, debating what to do with the thirty-minute wait estimate. Looking around the neighborhood, she smiles, remembering the park a few blocks down.
"We're going to head down to the park and sit on the swings and enjoy the sunshine for a bit. Does that sound good?"
He nods, curls bobbing with the motion, and falls into step beside her. They've made sure he's seen a therapist since the lab explosion, and there have been a few nightmares for all three of them. But he's an observant kid, something to be expected when he's been raised by her and Hen, and by the time they reach the park and settle into the swings, he's studying her with that curious head-tilt he gets from Hen.
"Why were you mad at Jamie's mom?"
A few years ago, Karen might have had more wiggle room in what she tells Denny, but he's not going to settle easily for just being told it's a minor disagreement between adults. She takes a moment to organize her thoughts, trying to consider Jasmine's viewpoint as she does so. As offended as she is by the implication that Hen is somehow wasting her life as a firefighter, there's one part of what Jasmine says that makes sense.
"His mother is having some difficulty reconciling that all jobs that save lives are important, Denny. She feels like we need more people like us as doctors, and while she's right about that, we also need people like us as firefighters and paramedics. It's easy to get bogged down after fighting for years to get an education and then a job and starting to believe that those two things are the most important things in the world."
"But she isn't working at all right now," Denny says, frowning. "Wouldn't that make her a hypocrite for saying Mama has to take her place?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if she's feeling a bit guilty about being at home. Lots of stay-at-home parents get worried about not being out there doing the job they trained for, and they forget one very important thing."
"What's that?"
"That being a parent is the most important job of all."
The imp rolls his eyes at her while grinning. "All parents are required to say that, Mom."
Crisis averted in a way she hopes won't impact the boys' friendship, Karen diverts his attention to the new movie coming out this weekend. Hen's days off have aligned for four days off in a row to overlap a weekend, and Karen firmly intends to enjoy the family time.
Of course, Denny rats her out to Hen at breakfast the next morning after Hen gets home from work. It's done so offhandedly that Karen isn't really sure he intended to, but she supposes it's something she needs to tell Hen anyway. If Jasmine doesn't wise up, Hen doesn't need to be blindsided if she's the one who drops Denny off at Jamie's next or if Jamie comes here.
Hen takes it in stride, not saying much until after Toni has taken Denny to school. Karen coaxes Hen into their bathroom, running a bath for Hen like they've rarely gotten to do in the hectic schedule that their jobs and medical school dictated. She adds Hen's favorite bath salts, watching Hen smile as the scent of lavender permeates the bathroom.
"How do you always know it's been a rough shift without me saying a word?" Hen asks, easing her way into the water. The heat kicks in almost immediately, although Karen knows the Epsom salts will work their magic as well as Hen soaks.
"Your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes on mornings like this."
After more than a decade with Hen, she knows all of Hen's post-work expressions by heart. This shift was a rough one, but Karen thinks it wasn't a deadly one. Those, Hen barely makes it through breakfast, and it's not a bath she wants but a stiff drink.
Hen smiles tiredly, reaching out to catch Karen's hand and press a kiss to the palm. "Coming home to you and Denny makes it all better." She shifts and winces, sinking lower into the water. "Well, that and this blissfully hot water to soak in after a shift of medical call after medical call. I don't know what was in the air for the last twenty-four hours, but we were almost thinking an easy kitchen fire would at least be a break."
"Lots of hospital runs, then?" Karen settles on the edge of the tub, glad that it's oriented so that she can reach down to massage Hen's shoulders.
"Eleven. I'm just grateful that none of them involved kids and no one died, so it was a good shift in the end, just a really long one." Hen lets out a breathy little groan as Karen finds a particularly stiff spot in her neck. "Well, one did involve a pregnant woman, but she was gracious enough to deliver at the hospital instead of in the ambulance."
"Gracious?" Karen asks, laughing. "You say that like there's an off switch for labor."
Hen snorts before laughing softly. "You've obviously never had to clean and restock an ambulance after a birth en route."
"True. And you'd never hear the end of it from Chimney, would you?"
"Not one bit." Hen blinks up at Karen, eyes tired but clear without her glasses in the way. "How bad was the spat with Jamie's mom?"
Karen explains, trying to be impartial, even though she can practically feel her blood pressure rise. It doesn't matter that she does understand Jasmine's point of view to some extent. Criticizing Hen for making a heroic choice just isn't allowed.
Sighing, Hen captures both of Karen's hands and squeezes them. "Comments like that aren't going to bother me, Karen. I know people are going to think I threw away something special to remain a firefighter. It's not the first time I've been looked down on for having a job they think is too rough around the edges, and it won't be the last."
"How will anything ever change for women like us if we tear each other down?" Karen complains.
"All we can do is point out the flaws in their logic and hope they wise up, and keep setting the example that we need a presence everywhere. Her snobbery doesn't bother me, not as long as you're happy with me dropping out."
Karen leans in for a lingering kiss, cupping Hen's face and humming softly when Hen responds with enthusiasm despite her exhaustion. Keeping the contact even as the kiss ends, Karen smiles brightly at Hen.
"I'm happy as long as you're happy, Hen. You've always supported my career and interests. I can see how much more relaxed and content you've been since you decided to stay with the fire department." She smirks at her wife and winks. "And that uniform is damned sexy."
She really shouldn't be surprised to be dragged into the tub, and thankfully she's just wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but she's plenty happy to help Hen relax in a far more interactive way than soaking in a bath. After, when they're both relaxed in the water and they will have a hell of a mess to clean up on the floor, she leans in on Hen's chest, listening to her heartbeat.
Their life together has been a series of renewing and reforming their relationship, and Karen will always be Hen's strongest advocate, just as Hen is hers. There is no place she'd rather be than in her wife's arms. This is family, this is love, and this is heaven on earth.