Bentina Beakley was many things, skilled agent, super-spy, amazing cook, black-belt in over 50 different martial arts, a cutthroat pool shark-and when she got the time-a damned good batter.
But of all her accomplishments, she thought being the grandmother of Webby Vanderquack was the one she was most proud of. Webby was trained in 10 different martial arts (mostly those not involving weapons, Beakley was saving that for her 15th Birthday), learned in 6 living languages and 4 dead ones. An accomplished survivalist at the age of 8, able to disable, dismantle or similarly stop any opponent up to ten times her size, Webby Vanderquack was Beakley's greatest achievement and she had done most of it unaided.
True she already had experience in the field of child-rearing, but this time while working as the housekeeper for Scrooge McDuck, the formerly reclusive, richest duck in the world.
Beakley thought that was a fine accomplishment.
However something had been troubling her of late, mostly centered around Webby and it only really started a few weeks after Webby's 13th birthday.
Now, nothing was wrong per se. Since Webby had helped Lena, the former shadow of Scrooge McDuck's greatest enemy Magica De Spell, become real again, Webby had been in high spirits.
Along with gaining the friendship of Lena's new step-sister Violet Saberwing, Webby was quite possibly the happiest Beakley had ever seen her.
But something nagged at the former spy's mind and it all had to do with the recent examples of Webby's on-going growth. She had gone through at least 2 growth spurts in the last 3 months alone.
And how her close relationship with Lena continued to evolve.
Now Beakley wasn't some old fuddy-duddy completely bereft of the time she lived in.
She had lived during the '60s, '70s and '80s, and had seen the shift in attitudes towards homosexuals, witnessed the rise and fall of the sexual revolution, and of course, remembered her own schoolgirl days when talks of kissing nuns were often all the rage at her all-girl boarding school.
So she knew the signs of attraction well enough, even among girls who pined for other girls.
Heck, she remembered her own schoolgirl crush on the athletic and tomboyish Gillian Shelduck. If or when Webby confessed to her grandmother that her thoughts of the former shadow, Lena, were more than platonic-Beakley knew she would be there with a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on, should it all turn out to be one-sided.
Though that was the thing, even from the start Beakley had known that the attention Lena showed Webby was more than innocent friendship. More, even than the sort of affection brought on from finally being surrounded by other girls your age.
At first, she had mistaken it for a gambit, a ploy by the teen to take advantage of her granddaughter in some malicious way. But after the incident in the underground train station, she had softened to it simply being the response of a duckling with a troubled life receiving positive attention for the first time in her life.
After the true knowledge of Lena had been shown to her, she knew it to be simple, innocent, and pure affection-idealisation even. If some of the poetry she had had the opportunity to glance at was to be taken wholly literally.
Yet therein lay the issue.
Because while she didn't pretend to be some kind of expert on magically reconstructed former manifestations of shadows given life. From what she had gleaned from her own questioning and comments made by both of the girls, Lena was 15 or 16. Even well into her 50's, Beakley remembered what she had been like at that age. The urges, the wanting's, the questionably erotic musings about her local church pastor, she remembered it all.
It was no secret that Webby often flung herself full force into anything that she was doing.
And it hadn't taken Beakley too long to come to the conclusion that should the right combination of teenage hormones, closeness of sleeping bags, and mood present themselves. Her granddaughter may find herself 'becoming a woman' far too early in her young life. This could lead to broken friendships, mental scarring and difficulty forming relationships later in life. At least in Beakley's mind.
This is what brought Beakley, one mid-September morning, to the conclusion that before that particular scenario presented itself as a problem-she should sit the two girls down and have a frank and honest talk about (she felt her British sensibilities been questioned wholly and without mercy) sexual intercourse.
Webby and Lena were hanging out in Webby's room like they often did. Violet had declined to come over, saying something about continuing her exploration of magic through non-step-sister related means, and so it was just the two of them today.
Lena was laying facedown on Webby's bed and playing with her new phone.
Her step-dads had just got it for her. Webby herself, while also laying facedown, had somehow positioned herself directly on top of Lena. She was reading a book on how to dismantle a turbojet. It was a peaceful day for both girls.
There were no interjections from Huey, Dewey or Louie as they were off at the money bin with Scrooge. And while both could hear the sibling shouting match Della and Donald were having in the garage they were ignoring it. They could see Launchpad was outside repairing the Cloudslayer again, and quietly they could hear Beakley walking the halls of the manor, probably cleaning as she went.
To both girls, this was a day of simple contentment, which was promptly shattered by the call of Beakley outside the room.
"Girls, could you come down to the living room?"
Both girls started in surprise before Webby called back, "Sure thing Granny!" She turned her head to Lena's and asked, "What do you think she wants to see us about?"
"I never know what Teatime wants, Pink. How would I start knowing now?"
"Hmm, fair point I guess," Webby said as she got off Lena's back and then with practised speed slid down the ladder into her foyer and out into the halls of the manor. Lena followed behind at a slower pace before coming up beside the walking Webby. "Ohh, maybe she wants to help me train you!?", Webby said excitedly, turning to her friend as they walked.
"Webby, we've already been over this. I'm not that good with all the flippy shit that you do. Plus I really doubt that your grandmother wants you to teach me how to fight. Especially considering that she's your teacher. And plus I already know how to fight. A bit of magic here, a few glowing balls of force there, and I can get out of pretty much anything,"
Lena bought a glowing ball of blue energy into the palm of her hand to demonstrate the powers she had before dismissing it, just as she and Webby walked into the main living room of the massive Scrooge McDuck mansion.
Beakley was there, sitting on a chair facing the couch and with a look of what could only be described as forced determination on her face.
"Girls, please come over and sit on the couch. There's something I want to talk to you about,"
The two girls did so, still very confused as they sat down.
There was a pause before Lena said, "So what's up, Teatime?"
"Well, I've called you down here because I think that there's something I need to discuss with the two of you and I thought it would be best when everyone else is out."
"Oh no, you're not sick are you, Granny?!" Webby said with worry in her voice, "Surely with all of Scrooge's money there should be a way to cure you, or perhaps we can go on a daring adventure to the fountain of youth!" Webby stood up on the couch and struck a dramatic pose as if primed for adventure.
"What? Oh, no, no, no," Beakley said to calm her granddaughter, "It's nothing like that. It's just that there is something I think I need to talk to you girls about-" she made a vague hand gesture, "-something I think you both need to hear."
"Oh," Webby said, almost disappointed at the prospect of not having to go on a life-threatening mission to save her Grandmother's life.
Lena looked at Webby, bemused, as Webby sat back down before turning to Beakley, "Okay so what's up then, Teatime?"
"Well, ah-" Beakley cleared her throat, looking conflicted, "-Well, I, ah well I think it's time that I explained something ... to you girls..."
The older woman fidgeted for a moment as if collecting her thoughts.
"Well, I think with things-progressing-the way they have. I..." Beakley took a deep breath. "That is, the way I think they're progressing, I mean I don't want to rush..."She put a hand to her face.
Beakley was babbling, she knew she was, but she just couldn't say anything of substance. The once fearsome spy who had wrestled with dictators, fraught guerilla wars, killed other spy's in their sleep, was babbling at the prospect of informing her granddaughter about sex.
But knowing this didn't stop her, she kept on babbling-like a 5-year-old explaining how the biscuit tin ended up dented.
"That is, not that I think you two currently are. Not that I would be angry if you were, well, concerned yes..." What was she implying they were doing, crocheting?
Beakley wanted to slap herself and force her mouth to string an actual sentence together. But her mouth had decided on its course of action and it would not be changed.
"I mean, times have changed-that is they've changed for the better. But umm... even so, there are proper times and ages, that is, I believe..." She was just continuing, her mouth seemed to have a will of its own as it continued to open and expel utter nonsense.
However, suddenly Lena spoke up from her place on the couch. Looking quite stunned and like she was about to get up and leave.
"Ahh, Teatime if I understand what you're trying... to talk to Webby about. I really don't think I need to be here. I've already heard this particular talk about six times-at least twice with puppets-and no offence, but I don't think you're going to beat a 35-year-old queer youth speaker with more pamphlets than students for range or depth. So if you don't mind, I'll just..."
Lena got up to leave so Beakley held out a hand and said, "Please Lena, I understand that you may have had this explained to you in the past but I think it's necessary for both of you to be here."
The older girl sat down again, her face starting to flush red in embarrassment, as she came to understand what Beakly was insinuating.
"We're not, you know. Seriously do you think we're...she's thirteen and I was brought back to life less than a year ago!" She threw up her hands in disbelief, " Good fu...We haven't even!" She muffled a scream and crossed her arms with a huff, face red, her head turned away from the other two as she slammed down on the couch.
Webby looked at Lena with confusion. Her ignorance reinforcing the point Lena had just half yelled.
Webby was very confused, first, her and Lena's quality book time had been interrupted, then Granny had implied that she was dying which she wasn't. Then she had started babbling, trying to have a conversation without saying anything? And now Lena was red-faced and looked both angry and embarrassed.
Of course Webby thought it made her look very cute but then again, Lena's moods were always cute or pretty in some way. Ranging from righteous anger to content happiness. Webby focused her mind off the insufferably beautiful face of her friend to notice that her grandmother was talking again.
"Well that's good to know, but I think it's important to know that-if in the future you do start to, you know...".
Webby really didn't know. Why was her grandmother acting so odd?
Had Webby done something wrong? In her head she quickly went through the list of rules for living in McDuck Manor that Beakley had set, which she had, of course memorised and found no immediate rule breakages that would require a talking to. So, no, that wasn't it.
Webby looked at her grandmother's hands as Beakley continued to talk. "Well, that is to say, that should the event ever-," watching as her grandmother's usually skilled and still hands, wrung and interlocked themselves, concerning and confusing her.
However, Webby did notice that whenever her grandmother threaded her fingers between each other, she looked down quickly and pulled them apart as if frightened by them.
This made no sense.
It was much like the one and only time Webby had asked about her parents. Her grandmother had started stuttering and tripping over her words like she was unsure of what to say.
Eventually, she had just said, "I'll tell you about them when you're older."
Which still hasn't happened yet.
At least Webby understood her grandmother's reservations talking about Webby's parents. But this conversation seemed to be about nothing or at the least nothing that Webby knew about.
"So-yes. I hope I have helped in some way and laid down certain boundaries ." Her grandmother punctuated, slapping her hands together. Webby continued to be completely lost to anything her Granny was trying to say.
Lena stood up quickly, face flushed. Her voice was strained. "Great talk, Teatime, we'll keep that in mind. Let's go Webby!", She took Webby's hand in hers and pulled the smaller duckling off the couch and out of the lounge.
"Well that was certainly something aye, Pink?", Lena said, her face still a little flushed but cooling quickly as they stood in the hall.
"Yeeaahh. It was," Webby said, chin in hand as she tried to figure out what in the world her grandmother had been talking about, "What do you think she was trying to talk to us about? Wait! You said you knew what she was talking about," Webby said turning to Lena, "What was it?"
As Webby looked at the face of her friend, a face she considered so beautiful, Lean's flushed expression returned with full force.
Lena felt her face heating up as Webby looked at her for an answer.
What was she supposed to say? Your grandma thinks we're having sex.
She couldn't just say that, not only because Lena hated to think what lengths Webby would go to, just to clarify that she and Lena weren't having sex. But also because she just didn't want to think about it.
Yes, Lena knew she liked Webby. Yes, some days Webby looked so amazing it took actual effort not to say something. Yes, sometimes her dreams involved Webby and her as some sort of witch queen and valiant knightness willing to die for each other and yes, she sometimes found herself musing for hours about the possibility of kissing Webby.
This was all true, but the thought of more than that? Something beyond hand-holding, kissing and snuggling close underneath a blanket? That was too much, too adult .
Plus Webby was 13, and while Lena's age was a slight matter of conjecture, even for herself. She knew she was older than Webby, so anything beyond hand-holding and kissing was far, far in the future, far from this point in time, far from this conversation. Plus Lena simply did not want to have a conversation that boiled down to, Your Granny thinks we're getting it on.
Lena tried to think of what to say to Webby's question.
Slowly she started to speak, "Ahh well-I think she was trying to talk to you about, you know, reproduction, birds and the bees. That sorta shit, where babies come from, ya know? No idea why she thought I needed to be there though, but she's your granny, not mine." Lena lied.
"But Lena, I already know all about that. Me and, Granny, went on a trip, well more like a survivalist exercise, and she taught me all about that. Sperm, ovum, wombs and eggs. I got to deliver a pony! It was an amazing 9th birthday present. So why would Granny need to talk to me about it again? I even got an A+ on the exam afterwards," Webby explained to Lena, not shocking her at all that Beakley gave her granddaughter the birds and bees talk as a survivalist trip on her birthday.
"Well I don't know, pink, like I said she's your Granny. I don't know what she was going on about," Lena lied, "Maybe she was trying to talk to you about like sex between people." Shit , Lena thought.
"Sex between people?" Webby asked, visibly confused to what Lena was saying.
"Ya know, sex, between a boy and a girl. Or between two guys or-between two girls…" Lena said, feeling her blush return and thinking Fuck! Shouldn't have said that, should not have said that.
"Wait," Webby stopped walking and looked incredulously at Lena, "Two girls can have sex? Can they like, reproduce and stuff? " Webby asked a little fast, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.
"Yeah well ya know, two girls can like, ahh-well ya know. Like they can like...do stuff together, like sexy stuff," Lena said, still blushing and feeling very vulnerable as Webby looked at her for answers.
"Sexy stuff? What's sexy stuff?" Webby asked, looking confused and as if new and previously unknown thoughts were forming themselves as she spoke.
"Ahh...well, ya know," Lena tried to think of what to say, "Stuff that's sexy," she finished lamely.
Both girls looked at each other, Lena flushed and feeling caught, Webby curious and wanting to know more. But just then Lena snapped her fingers in excitement as she thought of something.
"Hey, I've actually got a few pamphlets back home that could explain it far better than I could. Why don't we go back to mine and I'll give you a few of those to read?" Lena said, finally finding something that could save her from explaining how sex worked to Webby.
Webby's face lit up at the prospect of actually going to Lena's house and getting to learn new things at the same time "Okay, that sounds amazing!"
"Cool, I'll just go get my phone from your room and we can head out," Lena said as they turned down the hallway leading to Webby's room and soon, to a very informed future.
Fin