Stark's Pond, probably around noon—none of them checked the time. Kenny once again was having a beer for breakfast. He offered some to his friends and Kyle drank from the bottle. Stan refused.

The PC children had not been heard from in a good while—they would never hear their complaints again. One day, with no warning or any kind of explanation, their YouTube channel and profiles appeared deactivated. Perhaps they kept cancelling people under different names, hiding their identities this time. Timmy mentioned in one of those occasions when the gang met at the bar that whenever they met in the hallways at school they avoided looking at him and walked faster, if the principal or the vice-principal were around they would hide behind them. Most of the children found him...intimidating now. At least the abled ones. They would need some time to get used to him, since PC Principal allowed him to stay in his post, arguing that the children had grown fond of him, there weren't any criminal or disciplinary punishments against him and his...ahem, ability to deepen into the human mind would be useful to give the Special Ed kids a better treatment. Timmy read on Strong Woman's mind that this was the family's way to apologize not only to him, but to all the Freedom Pals. Yes, a real apology would have been nice. It was just that...they had never admitted they could have been wrong in their lives and didn't know what to do. One couldn't expect much more from them. For what he could read in the children's minds, they were ashamed of what they had done, but it was never in their plans to publicly admit it or try to make amends. However, as long as those kids never bothered them again, that was enough. That was what Kenny, Stan and Kyle thought.

The public opinion had a new enemy anyway. The Freedom Pals were meek little lambs in comparison to that electrical fiend. Professor Chaos was the name on everybody's lips. His constant misdemeanors kept him in all news broadcasts almost every week. It seemed there was no vile act he hadn't committed. The one South Park probably could never forget and forgive was the murder of his parents, Stephen and Linda Stotch, their beloved neighbors, such nice people it was just monstrous how Chaos, their own son, killed them in cold blood. Searching through the Internet, one could easily track all wrongdoing in his life, even some the trio knew Butters had never done.

Kenny thought a lot about Butters, not just because he was causing a fuss wherever he went. And thinking about him he was when Stan talked that noon at Stark's Pond:

"Wendy and I are going to get married in October. Then we will leave South Park."

"...Are you sure, Stan?" Kyle asked.

"People keep harassing us at home. The most enthusiastic being my dad. He wants us to be the poster couple for Tegridy Farms. We can't stand them. It can't be good for Wendy. She's got enough having posts on the Internet about us pop into her mind every minute. So we're leaving...But we're coming back. We don't know when, but...We want the kid to grow up here, like we did, and be close to her grandparents and stuff. I wouldn't want her to lose you guys too. We'll probably be back when she's born, when the hype about us calms down."

"We wouldn't like to lose you, either."

Their eyes kept turning at the empty space in the bench. A big space, actually.

Cartman, always present, never, ever leaving them...

"...Wendy and I chose a name." Stan broke the silence once again. Kyle noticed that his eyes were fixed on him after a while. "Her name will be Kyley."

Kyle seemed not to believe it for a moment. The smile growing on Stan's lips made him realize that it was true: this was for him. Kyle muttered his best friend's name, visibly moved, and embraced him.

Kenny smiled watching them, but soon looked away, his smile fading, as it was mostly forced.

"Kenny..." When he rose his head, Kenny found that Stan was looking at him now. "What Cartman said...It isn't true at all..."

"I know. Don't worry about it, you guys." He replied.

"In fact...Kenny...Uh, well, all children need a responsible adult to make sure they never leave the good path. None of us had it growing up, but I want Kyley to have her set of godparents to take care of her. Also, Wendy and I have been thinking that, in case we go back to superhero stuff after our long vacations, we're going to need to leave a few things prepared, in case something happens to both of us. Wendy's parents will be the legal guardians but we want her to have someone else anyway. A godmom and a goddad who will make sure she's got everything she needs and teach her how to survive this freaking town. You know sometimes we can't trust our own families. Bebe said yes and I was wondering if you...well, would like that."

Kenny stared at him for long, blinking, almost as if he hadn't understood.

"...You want me to be your kid's goddad?" He muttered, right when Stan was going to repeat himself.

"I can think of no one better than you."

Kenny glanced at Kyle, like feeling he was stealing an honor which belonged to him.

"Don't look at me, dude. The Jewish can't be a Christian's godparents." He shrugged with a smile, most evidently glad that he didn't meet the requirements and Kenny did.

Finally convinced that Stan counted on him and only him, Kenny's lips curved as he looked back at Stan and said: "With pleasure."

And they sat for some more, just doing nothing, but watch the calm waters of the pond.

«Today, on our section Where are they now?, it's been six years ever since the Freedom Pals' identities were unveiled to the public. How have the lives of America's superheroes changed in this time? Let's find out.

Fastpass / Jimmy Valmer. Fastpass' ability to run close to the speed of sound has allowed him to be the first of the heroes to reach emergencies scenarios and get civilians out of danger. We've seen him turn invisible to infiltrate the enemy lines, and we found out in 20XX (at the same time he did, apparently) that he can also travel back and forward in time if he runs faster than usual, when he altered the timeline and saved all of the other Freedom Pals from dying in the hands of Mecha-Streisand. When he is not fighting evil, he is Jimmy Valmer, a stand-up comedian with Pfeiffer syndrome who has recently received offers to appear in movies: he could be seen as a cameo in the last Marvel flick and has taken his first role as the funny sidekick in The purple rose, Dwayne Johnson's upcoming action movie. In 20XX, he commenced a relationship with rapper Sondra Summers, ten years older than him. Although Jimmy was always considered a player, he surprised us when he declared to TMZ that he had moved to her appartment. «I love to spend time with the kids. We'll see where this is going.», he declared. And it seems he is there to stay: although the couple is not married and have not confirmed anything, some recent pictures may be proof that they are expecting their first child together.

Mosquito / Clyde Donovan. Mosquito is one of the most popular members of the Freedom Pals due to his permanent availability to attend to the press and after the famous awareness advert in Christmas 20XX about the importance of mosquitoes for the ecosystem. Son of a shoe shop owner, his alter ego, Clyde Donovan, used to work as a cook in a road restaurant until his identity was discovered. The President of the United States offered him to become his personal bodyguard, which he refused, alledging that «he is there to serve all the people»; however, he was convinced to accept a post as a bodyguard trainer. Last March, he announced on his Twitter account that he is going to marry his girlfriend Bebe Stevens, after many years dating. «SHE FINALLY SAID YES», he tweeted, posing with her now fiancé on top of the Empire State Building in a photo which became viral. «Everything that's come to me these years' been cool, sure,» he declared, «but this—this is the real dream come true.»

Captain Diabetes / Scott Malkinson. Triggered by sugar, Captain Diabetes is the strongman of the Freedom Pals, capable of lifting a crane ship, like we witnessed him do during the Second Boston Tea Party. During the cancellation, Captain Diabetes was one of the Freedom Pals who most suffered the repression: his identity as Scott Malkinson was revealed, him and his father lost his job, was enjailed for three days. After the team was pardoned, Scott's father was readmitted, while he was offered a job in National Defense, using his great strength to test the resistance of the military vehicles and the lethality of the weapons. He has used the mediatic attention around him to raise awareness about his disease, diabetes, becoming the president of honor of the ADA and teaching children diabetes cannot stop them from doing things they like, like breaking trailers in half.

Super Craig & Wonder Tweek / Craig Tucker & Tweek Tweak. One of the biggest surprises when the Freedom Pal's identities were unveiled was discovering that Super Craig, the brutalist with an amazing strength and ability to piss everyone off, and Wonder Tweek, the elementalist who controls ice, electricity and healing water, were in fact a married homosexual couple. The two of them together managed to defeat The Karen, and stopped Professor Chaos from destroying Denver in 20XX. The New Yorker considered them the most influential LGBT couple in America, and were awarded in the 10th edition of the LGBT Awards for their «contribution into bringing peace to the country and for being an inspiring representation», although they have never talked about their marriage life or sexuality in public. A very reclusive couple in their private life, it is uncertain what their occupations are when they are not saving the state of Colorado. It is only known that they have collaborated with the NASA and disaster prevention services. It has also been revealed that, after dismantling a criminal organization run by a family which used their two children, ages twelve and eight, for begging and stealing two years ago, they fostered the children and might be starting the process to make the adoption effective.

Tupperware / Tolkien Black. We all thought he was a cyborg, but behind the armor hides a man, Tolkien Black, son of the owner of popular Credigree Weed Farms. With his ability to teleport, he has saved hundreds of lives, and with his knowledge on technology to build Tupper Turrets, he has claimed as many. His teammates have defined him as the man who has it all: brawn, brains and spunk. As for his personal life, Tolkien used to work for an engineering enterprise until he surprised everyone with his decision to join the South Park Police Department. He had to face the terrible elder god Shub-Niggurath to achieve his purpose, and this Summer he was promoted to chief, becoming the youngest in the country. In 20XX, shortly after the unveiling, after deciding that «we were close to death and I don't want to leave this world with any unfinished business», he married his ten-year long girlfriend Emma. They are expecting their second child, after their son Farrell was born. To the question in Hello! if he was going to name any of his children after some Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit character, he replied: «Hell no. I hate that shit.»

Doctor Timothy / Timothy Burch. We all knew that Doctor Timothy suffered a physical condition which had him in a wheelchair, but it was after the unveiling when we knew with precision that the man behind the group's telepath suffers from brain palsy, which, in his own words, «has never stopped him from having fun». He works as a Special Education teacher at the Elementary school he and the other Freedom Pals studied in, where his condition and powers allow him to connect deeper with students with special needs. One of his most notable interventions was the frustration of a terrorist attack at NYC New Year's Eve Celebration. Even though his controversial inducted suicide provoked his resign from the team, he was readmitted. He also made up for it before the public opinion when he convinced a woman not to jump off the Aurora Bridge during his holidays in Seattle. Moreover, he apparently brought her such comfort they remained close and last year they got married in a private celebration.

Mysterion / Kenneth McCormick. Mysterion has always been a name on South Park's lips over the years. His violent methods to stop evil have been both praised and questioned, but one thing is clear: South Park always appreciated his presence, stating in numerous times that the town would have been doomed if it wasn't for him. Even though his identity was revealed as Kenneth McCormick, not much is known about him. That is a name impossible to find in the streets, changes his address almost every month; whenever asked about this under his Mysterion persona, he sometimes gets aggressive. All that is known is that the McCormick family is very often under police custody for minor crimes and his sister Karen was involved in the controversial case of the University of the Mountains, precisely for defending Mysterion during the cancellation. Kenny McCormick seems, however, to be a very famous name in Romania, where he became a very famous singer in his childhood.

Human Kite / Kyle Broflovski. He can fly. He can shoot lasers. He can create air waves. His name is Human Kite and there is a reason why he doesn't do patrols on Sabbath. The other name he is known by is Kyle Broflovski, whose own mother instigated the Freedom Pals ban. However, Mrs. Broflovski has declared herself «Human Kite's biggest fan», much to her son's dismay: «It is a bit embarrassing that he always introduces me as Human Kite wherever we go, and goes around with my face on a t-shirt.» Kyle is not a big fan of the media, either, and prefers to live quietly, not taking any advantage of his superhero alter ego. It is widely known that he refused to work for the White House and prefers to stay in his father's law firm, although he has declared that he is always ready leave everything he is doing to save whoever is in need. He has been caught with several different women over the years, but it seems he is flying alone.

Call Girl & Toolshed / Wendy Testaburger & Stanley Marsh. Again, we were surprised that the gadgeteers, Call Girl and Toolshed were a couple, and not only that: during the events of the team's cancellation, Call Girl was pregnant with Toolshed's child. In spite of her almost getting killed by the social media campaign against her, the baby turned out fine and was born in February the next year (the picture of her birth got 2M likes on one day). The couple moved out of South Park shortly after the events for some months, and are now back to the team. Toolshed, whose real name is Stanley Marsh, son of Randy Marsh, the owner of Tegridy Farms, is still a songwriter and musician, although he signs his work under the name of Raven now. Call Girl, Wendy Testaburger, however, accepted the job the CIA offered her, which allows her to work from home and take care of her family. They also prefer to be away from the spotlight, too: after their wedding was crushed after Mr. Marsh snitched to the press, they have doubled their efforts to live as quietly as they can when they are not saving the world...

"And have you seen how airline companies-Oops! Seems there's t-t-trouble. I'll be back in a second, folks...See, I'm back. A t-t-t-terrorist false alarm at the ai-airport. It was just a guy who had too-toothpaste in his bag, what did I tell you? I know, it's crazy, how long I've been gone? One second, precisely. I'm telling you people: this power's really cool...Too bad my woman don't t-t-think the same."

Stan chuckled. The audience roared with laughter, clapped, Jimmy smiled showing his teeth.

"Thank you, thank you! Wow, what a great audience!" He said, waving his hand, and Stan couldn't wait till his movie with The Rock came out. That was something he really wanted to see.

Stan noticed that Kyley was sitting next him, trying to look at the screen of his phone too.

"Sorry, kid. Jimmy's jokes are for grown ups." He turned it off and stood up. "Look at you, how pretty you are. Are you ready?"

"Not yet." Wendy approached with her backpack in hand. She helped Kyley put it on—the backpack seemed bigger than her. She smiled, seeing how cute she was and blinked to take several photos that she mentally sent to the grandpas. "I'm sorry I can't go with you, love. Mommy has cyberterrorists to deal with."

"Will you make the smiling toast for lunch?" Kyley asked her.

"Of course, baby." Wendy crouched down to kiss her on the forehead. Then, she looked at Stan. "It's very possible that she starts crying when she sees the other kids cry. Be ready for some drama. By the way, we have one more wedding this year."

"We do? Who?" Stan asked, frowning.

"Your sister." Wendy smirked.

"Wow. Simply wow. That Albert guy's got no idea of what he's doing."

"I'm gonna need a new dress..."

"I don't know what you think but-What? Another one? But you bought one for Token's wedding, and it cost you two hundred dollars!"

"Yes, but you really don't want me to attend your sister's wedding wearing the dress I wore for Token's!"

"Why not? Dresses are to be worn more than once!"

Wendy just rolled her eyes, as if Stan was too dumb to understand.

"Does Kyle know Bebe and Clyde are getting married, by the way?" He asked then, as he got the pending details ready.

"Sure he must. People are talking about it. I don't want to violate his inbox." Wendy replied.

"I don't know if I should tell him. That will probably hurt him, won't it? I mean, if Heidi's attending with her new man..."

"He will be hurt whether you tell him or not." Wendy opined, and Stan guessed she was right. Kyle had been so invested in their relationship...He was so hurt about it he never told him the details. Was it the secrets he had kept from her what extinguished the flame? All the changes in Kyle's life, moving out from his parents' house and away from his mother's control (mostly, because she kept calling every day), to live with Heidi, stressed him so much he became unbearable? Was she insincere when she said she was okay with him shooting lasers out his eyes and flying, being Human Kite? Whatever the reason was, Kyle had told him that it just...happened. It could have worked or not. They had both tried but it just didn't work out in the end. It was a pity, because he wished it did, he thought this time he had finally found love. Anyway, as Stan pointed out, at least he got to be her boyfriend, he had been dreaming about it since Elementary...That was what would make it painful, in Stan's opinión: Clyde got his happy ending and he did not.

They knocked at the door.

"Kenny's here!" Stan announced, and Kyley let out an excited exclamation.

He opened and there he was, his goddad. A terrible decision in their families' opinion: because one of the first things Kenny taught Kylie as soon as she was able to have a certain control over her body was to punch people who were mean to her. But he had a good intention and it was something all children had to know, therefore Stan didn't make a fuss about it.

"Hello, kiddo. Ready for your first day of preschool?" Kenny joyfully said to Kyley.

"Yaaaay!" She shouted.

"Then let's go!" Kenny took her tiny hand.

"Have a great day, sweetie! I love you!" Wendy kissed Kyley once again before they walked out.

"Kyle told me he's dealing with aliens, he'll meet us in the way." Kenny told Stan.

"Aliens?" Stan asked almost disinterestedly. "Gee, that's new..."

"Yeah, now it's the fucking aliens. But as long as they don't lay their hands on the zombie nazi goo, we'll be fine..."

"What's a nazi?" Kyley asked with great interest.

"Someone you gotta punch in the face if you see them, okay?" Kenny told her.

"I've been wanting to ask you, dude, how's Karen doing?" Stan asked his friend.

"Great so far. She's gotten another distinction."

"Wow, man. What an ace."

"Yeah..." Kenny had reasons to smile. Karen had suffered a lot before entering college. When the Freedom Pals regained their popularity and thanks to Kyle's father giving her legal assistance, the university that denied her pooped its pants and wanted to readmit her, quietly, of course, to avoid a scandal. But Karen was in disposition to tell them to go fuck themselves. Her intervention assisting the injured during Professor Chaos' attack attracted a lot of attention on social media. Her story was unveiled, and Denver University contacted her to offer her a scholarship. She was discreet about her bond with Mysterion, but she was pretty popular at the campus thanks to her intelligence and kindness. Her family stayed the same, living in the old house, eating frozen waffles for dinner, doing all kinds of shitty jobs to survive, but it seemed like the days were a bit brighter. There was some hope for the McCormick family after all.

"Speaking of siblings, I heard Ike's making a good sum with video games. You know, gameplaying, farming, promoting brands...Even more than any of us. Damn, he bought his own house and for what Kyle's been showing me, it's not precisely small. We picked our careers wrong, dude."

"You said it..."

There was one sibling they hadn't talked about, Shelley, but Kenny didn't even bother to ask. He knew that ever since she had left South Park, she was barely heard from. She only returned to pay Kyley the mandatory visit and had invited her brother to her wedding because that was a moral obligation. That was it. And her finding out he had super powers didn't encourage her to get closer. Stan didn't do anything to keep in touch with her anyway. Her leaving his life was not a big deal, but even a relief, if he thought about their childhood living under the same roof.

"...You know who Wendy and I saw the other day? Mike Makowski. Remember who?" Stan said instead.

"The vampire guy?"

"Not anymore. He's a waiter at Tweek Bros. (It seems they needed someone after Tweek left; his parents thought he could have the logo on his uniform and all that stuff my dad's done with me and Wendy before...) He's cut his hair, dresses like he lives in the present century but it seems he can't reverse some of the surgery he had done, or doesn't have the money to do it. Instead of blood, he now drinks coffee, like a normal person."

"It was about time."

"Yeah."

"Look, there is Kyle!" Kyley shouted, pointing at the sky.

They look up and saw someone waving at them.

"Hello, Kyle!" Kyley kept shouting, waving her tiny arms.

"Hello, baby! Wanna do the Superman?" Kyle told her.

"Yes, yes, the Superman!"

Kyle descended to grab Kyley and ascended again. Any other father would have been worried sick, seeing their child so up in the air, but Stan knew there was nowhere Kyley would be safer than in Kyle's arms. And she loved it so much it was delightful to see.

Stan loved seeing his daughter laugh...

...Thinking of how close he had been to losing her, before he even got to meet her...

That possibility or her becoming an orphan was something that made the decision of going back to the team really hard for Stan and Wendy. Accepting the jobs Defense was offering them, extremely well paid, that would allow them to take care of Kylie better and wasn't that dangerous, or being independent from the fickleness and corruption of power and helping those in need as a very sacrificial, purely altruistic side job? Stan found himself thinking about Liane Cartman more than about his own mother. What she said to him that night. Parenthood really changed people. He looked at who he was in the past and sometimes couldn't believe it was him. Past Stan wouldn't have been able to stand all the nights without sleeping, the baby vomiting on him, the wailing for no apparent reason, the constant need of attention that made him and Wendy go into abstinence from sex and even all romantic contact for months. And then thinking of her every time Kylie was away from him, being worried about some enemy using her to hurt him, all the times he surely upset or hurt her because of his inexperience, the traps and devices he had put around the house to make sure she was safe from any danger...He had never heard truer words than what she said to him. Once you become a father, your life stops belonging to you: it belongs to your children from then on. Seeing the truth in that, experiencing it directly made him pity the lady in a way his own parents never did, and wished things had worked out in a different way—although he was sure that them killing her son, as awful and life-sucking as he was, would have killed her in a much crueler way. Her only, true crime was spoiling and loving that spawn of Satan too much.

He tried not to make that mistake, spoil Kylie and make her a tyrant, but it was too difficult to him. Wendy had to be the strict parent, to compensate. Her friends were often marveled at how sweet Stan was with his daughter, him wanting to play with her all the time, no matter what, no matter when. He always had time for her, he always listened to her babbling, if something made her cry he flew to her side, he filled her face with kisses and took long walks with her to the park, learned to do different hairstyles to make her look pretty. Wendy was a bit jealous because that made Kylie a daddy's girl, but in reality she was happy. Ever since Kylie was born, Stan had not touched alcohol. There was no need to escape the shitty reality. She was foreseeing that Kylie would grow up to become a rebellious teenager who would talk shit about her dad and escape from him, and it would break his heart—that was why she treasured those moments of them together and hoped Stan did too.

"That's enough for today." Kyle said after a little while, leaving her on the ground again.

"Aliens, huh?" Stan asked.

"It's terrible, I almost lose a leg. But it's all under control—for now." Kyle said. "Did you guys hear the news?"

"Clyde getting married to Bebe? Yeah. There's less and less single guys in the group..." Kenny commented, and Stan feared that would make Kyle feel bad, but he showed no emotion.

"Well, of course. Haven't you noticed, Kenny, how chicks seem to love superheroes and are dying to have a relationship with one? As soon as Heidi and I changed our status on Facebook, my inbox's been filled with girls wanting to get together and stuff. Girls from school, from work, girls I don't even know...It's crazy!"

"Do like Scott and I and make the most out of it." Kenny shrugged. "A hookup a day keeps the doctor away."

"What's a hookup?" Kyley asked.

"You see, it's when you go to the club and find a babe with big boobs and a big b-"

"Dude, don't tell the girl that stuff." Stan frowned, covering Kyley 's ears.

"You've got Internet and television at home, she's gonna find out sooner or later, and it'll be better if her goddad, who loves her and only wants the best for her, tells her!"

There they were, South Park Elementary. Oh, the memories they felt! They almost walked in before the bell rang, as if time had not passed and they were still students. People were looking at them, because everyone recognized them—not only because they had been former students.

"Well, Kyley , here we are." Stan got on his knees to make sure Kyley 's hair was in order, she had everything with her, talk to her to her face. "Are you excited? You're going to make a lot of good friends in here, you'll see, and some of them will be your friends forever. Here is where the three of us met, when we were your age."

"When you walk by the cafeteria, listen closely: you can still hear Chef singing in there." Kyle smiled.

"If you have bad luck and end up in Mr. Garrison's class, think it's not forever and you'll always have us to give you extra classes." Kenny said.

"Some people will probably call you names or say unpleasant things because of who Mom and I are and what we do. Don't listen to them." Stan continued. "And if you've got any kind of problem, you know you can always tell Timmy: he'll always be there to help you. You will probably see him today, say hi to him from us."

"If they try to hurt you, beat them up like I taught you: the noise and the genitals are the most sensitive spots." Kenny told her, his index finger raised in a very professor-like posture. "Don't let yourself become a victim."

"I'll come pick you up later." Stan said.

"Promise?" Kyley asked.

"I promise." Stan kissed her head and Kyley smiled.

"Very well, children, come on in!" A brunette lady said, taking the preschoolers inside.

"Do everything that lady tells you. I love you, baby."

"I love you, Daddy." She said, and she melted the three men's heart, trotting her way inside the school afterwards.

Man, where did time go...Stan, Kyle and Kenny exchanged a look.

"Wanna drink something, you guys, or are you too busy?" Stan asked.

"Nah, I'm free." Kyle smiled.

"Me too. I really want a whiskey, I haven't had breakfast yet." Kenny replied.

Stan glanced at his daughter once more and smiled. Well, well, it seemed he had made a new friend already!

"I like your backpack." Kyley was telling a brown haired-girl with ponytails, fat and taller for her age.

"Thanks, I love Ladybug." The girl replied, looking at her own backpack with pride.

"I love Ladybug too." Kyley smiled. "I'm Kyley Marsh."

"Is Toolshed your dad?" The girl turned back to look at the father who was still looking at her.

"Yeah!"

"I don't have a dad, or a mom, too...I live with my grandma."

"Oh, that's too bad!"

"It's okay, my grandma lets me do what I want. She makes a great apple pie. I brought some. I'm Erica Cartman, by the way."

Like an explosion, those words made the hearts of the three men missed a beat. In a matter of a second their faces lost all their color. Stan's mouth open in an attempt to let out a scream, his hand reached for his daughter, but the school door closed without giving him the chance to warn her.

THE END