Author's Note: Welcome back! If you're enjoying the story, please let me know. Even something as simple as "update soon, plz!" really motivates me to post. Of course, constructive criticism is also welcome and appreciated.
For those of you who celebrate, Merry Christmas!
The Hyuga compound began preparations for Hiashi Hyuga's birthday well before the actual date of his birth. Starting a week before, throngs of temporary civilian laborers bustled through the corridors and courtyards, ushered by the senior housekeepers and cooks. Decorating the compound alone required a crew of 20 people working dawn to dusk for two days.
The festivities also fell on the date of his father's birth, Neji noted, bile rising in his mouth.
But only one Hyuga now marked his birthday on June 30. Neji still hadn't completely forgiven Hisashi Hyuga for leaving his only son an orphan, in exchange for the life of the man keeping him prisoner.
He dreaded yet another pageant so soon after his wedding. Another occasion for legions of white eyes to scrutinize him for signs of inner rebellion or lingering discontent. Neji would wish his uncle a happy birthday and a long life when he entered the banquet hall, then he'd assume his seat as one of numerous Hyugas bearing the cursed seal. The seating chart for dinner had him two tables away from the Hyuga patriarch and his daughters, an implicit rebuke for his disobedience.
Seeing his seat so far from the main clan brought Neji relief, not frustration. The architect of that intended slight had clearly never spent the entirety of a formal dinner breathing the same air as Hiashi Hyuga.
For the past three birthdays he spent in Hiashi's good graces, Neji sat at Hinata's right side, two seats from his uncle. Close enough that his uncle could ask Neji to pass his favorite rice cakes down the table. Close enough that Neji strained his the muscles of his lower back from sitting up straight for three hours without break.
Not appearing altogether was a grave sin that Neji couldn't afford. Not if he wanted to buy time for himself to break free. He planned to vent his insolence in subtler ways.
Two hours before seating for dinner began, Risa dressed herself in a silver-trimmed silk dress embroidered with butterflies and chrysanthemums. One of the maids – a teenage girl – held a slate of brushes, tweezers and sponges as Risa painted her face with shades of pink and white. After Risa set her makeup with puffs of white powder, the girl brushed her master's waist-length curtain of hair and arranged it in a nest of twists and braids. The maid counted 81 small metal hairpins tucked out of sight in Risa's hair, before her focus on wrangling the numerous fine black strands caused her to lose the number.
Only the final hairpiece, a gem-inlaid silver pin bearing the clan's sigil, remained visible once the girl completed her work. To any casual observer at the banquet, Risa's hairstyle would appear effortless – cinched by the jeweled hairpin rather than dozens of pins positioned just-so. By the time Risa tipped the girl with a silver coin and dismissed her, twenty minutes remained until seating. That left her enough time to regain feeling in her legs following two hours of sitting in front of her vanity, before she would sit for four more hours.
According to convention, married couples and sets of parents and children arrived together to give Lord Hiashi their greetings and birthday wishes. Yet she hadn't seen Neji since breakfast.
Five minutes before seating, Neji slid open the bedroom door without even a word of apology. She saw him in the same set of clothing he wore to training earlier that day, the front of his shirt marred by a streak of mud and grass residue. Locks of hair slipped from the tie above his waist.
Risa wouldn't even have visited her aunt for tea in his state of dishevelment.
"What are you thinking? I won't allow you to –"
"Hm. I'm afraid we're short on time, Risa."
"You should have considered that before arriving with no time to spare."
"Would you like me changing in front of you?" Neji asked, sneering with the expectation that she would retract her demand with a stuttered apology.
Risa's breath stalled in her airway. She refused to endure the furrowed brows and whispered disapprovals she anticipated if they arrived at the birthday dinner as they were.
I can always close my eyes, she reasoned.
"If you must," she spat at the floor. "We are married."
Her white eyes pinned him in place and renewed the sweat on his brow. Out of her sight, he bit the inside of his lower lip.
"No need."
"Ah – I'll be outside."
Risa slipped through the sliding door before he could see her flushed cheeks. Husband and wife still slept in separate places every night, only meeting once fully dressed.
A week ago, a sleepless Risa made the mistake of brewing tea in the kitchen while covered by only a nightgown. As she watched for steam to emerge from the kettle, heavy footsteps approached from behind. Neji. She assumed he'd fallen asleep hours ago. After filling a glass of water from the sink, he scolded her to at least make yourself decent before presenting herself to him.
She'd face a far worse verbal lashing for even an accidental glimpse of her husband in any state of undress.
A few minutes after she left the bedroom, the door slid open and Neji joined her in the corridor. Risa nodded without smiling and they started toward the banquet hall.
He opted for the same loose white shirt and trousers he wore every day. Even if he still smelled of sweat and earth, his outfit was clean and his hair combed.
"You look just like a pretty little doll," Neji remarked, voice oozing contempt and insincerity.
"Thank you. I'm flattered."
Risa flashed an open-mouthed grin. She chose not to acknowledge the barely concealed slight in Neji's words. Heat flared in her chest with the thought that she needed to force him into to sparing mere minutes to fix his appearance, while she spent hours detailing every strand of hair and every contour on her face.
Calling me a stupid little woman without a spine or brain. Just like him, she thought. He should thank the gods he doesn't have to devote an afternoon to adorning himself for these events.
Risa and Neji arrived in the banquet hall several minutes after the servants began seating guests following their customary audience with the Hyuga patriarch. A minor lapse in punctuality unnoticed by anyone but Risa. The queue of Hyugas waiting to genuflect to their clan head extended along one wall of the cavernous room before looping around a corner. They filed in line behind a middle-aged couple who Neji recognized as his mother's older sister and her husband.
He didn't doubt his aunt would recognize him, but expected no acknowledgment from her.
When she greeted Keiko, Risa met only an icy hello and a promptly turned back. Neji raised both brows and tilted his chin toward the ceiling as if to express that his wife should expect no different.
Keiko Hyuga still shunned him for the shame and stigma he brought on the clan by promising himself to Ten-ten. She believed the rumors that Ten-ten at one point carried a half-Hyuga child – and that knowledge amplified her resentment toward her careless, arrogant nephew.
"A word of advice, Neji – when we appear before your uncle, conceal your hatred for me even a little," Risa hissed. "For your own sake."
"I find it touching that you care so much for me," he replied, broadcasting sarcasm in the lilt of his voice.
After Risa promised to cover for his wedding night excursion, part of Neji believed without irony that she cared. She wanted him to fake contentment so none of the watchful white eyes at Hiashi's birthday dinner suspected him of infidelity to her, and the clan by extension.
He silenced the nagging voice with a reminder that her duty was to keep him a restrained, well-behaved Hyuga.
"Hm...you don't realize how thin the ice is, do you?"
Once his aunt and uncle finished giving Hiashi Hyuga their effusive blessings, Neji bowed and muttered happy birthday, uncle without the usual and may you live long and prosper.
Risa bent until her forehead almost touched the table. Neji cringed as she wished him 100 years of life, blessings from every major god, an auspicious year and a birthday filled with joy. He supposed she wanted to compensate and implicitly apologize for his paltry offering.
"Thank you, Risa. You look beautiful tonight. Silver brings out your eyes."
His uncle kissed Risa's perfumed hand, then nodded to Neji without speaking.
"I agree, uncle," Neji said. "I'm fortunate to have her as my wife. My affection for her grows every day."
Before she could react, he leaned over to plant a loud kiss on her forehead.
Risa gasped, bringing both sets of fingertips to her lips. As far as the assembled Hyuga guests were concerned, physical contact between husband and wife beyond hand holding or a perfunctory kiss on the hand was reserved for private settings.
The Hyuga patriarch glowered in their direction before dismissing them to enjoy dinner.
At their seats, Risa's folded hands quivered with outrage. She advised him to set his feelings aside, and he repaid the favor by humiliating both of them before the clan head.
After the final guests sat, the servants brought bowls of miso soup on porcelain saucers imported from beyond the continent.
Risa watched the shimmering surface of her soup without even touching the spoon. The last thing she needed was further embarrassment when her unsteady hands inevitably spilled hot soup in her lap. Next to her, Neji blew softly on a spoonful of soup before drinking.
"I can't believe you, Neji," she whispered, low and angry.
Her eyes remained fixated on the flickers of light reflected in her bowl. To her relief, the family seated with them was too preoccupied with wrangling soup into a squirming toddler's mouth to notice the hushed exchange between husband and wife.
"What? I used the appearance of marital affection to conceal my true emotions," Neji countered, as if he were relaying the weather forecast. "As you advised."
"I'm not stupid. You intended to create a scene," she hissed. "What did I do to deserve this...this humiliation?"
He set his spoon on the saucer next to his empty bowl. Tapped Risa's shoulder so she faced him.
"I've humiliated you no more than you've humiliated yourself," he said, gesturing from her hair down to the fitted waist of her dress.
"It can't be comfortable pinning your hair to death. Keeping your head just-so so it doesn't fall apart. Can you even bend your back in that dress? Tell me, what's more humiliating than that?"
"Throwing a child's tantrum on your own uncle's birthday, within sight of the entire clan," Risa shot back, without even sparing a breath after Neji's retort. "I'll tell you now – your aunt Keiko…and half of everyone here wishes to disown you. Consider Lord Hiashi your best ally."
A servant slipped behind the couple to offer them sake – shocking Risa into realizing that public bickering with her husband was a clan taboo akin to pulling him in for an open-mouthed kiss. She declined the alcohol with a wave.
Seeing her chastened expression brought a smirk to Neji's face. Once the servant progressed to another table, he turned back to his wife.
"Why do you care so much whether I disgrace myself? Then my uncle might give you a proper Hyuga husband who's not a 'child.'"
Risa glanced around their table before moving her face an inch from his ear.
"Because our fortunes are tied, Neji. However much I might resent that fact," she whispered. "I am not your enemy."
Before he could whisper anything back, she pivoted in her seat to congratulate the toddler's older sister on her recent promotion to genin. The girl rambled on about her jounin sensei's training regimen and drama among her teammates, happy to have a willing ear from her big sister.
Sipping a glass of water, Neji surveyed the banquet hall. He was the only one he could see without even a child for a conversation partner.
Distracted by thoughts of his nephew, Hiashi Hyuga could barely follow the flow of conversation at his table. He added one-sentence remarks to whichever exchanges called for his contribution, trying to disguise his troubled mind. His birthday hardly brought the usual sense of achievement and pride. Instead, the elaborate decorations and delicacies struck him as vulgar. And after Neji and Risa's greeting, the obsequious birthday messages started to grate his ears.
He replayed Neji's disingenuous praise for his wife and the forehead kiss that made Risa almost scream.
Ko occupied Neji's former seat two places to his right, eliciting rare laughs from Hinata with stories of her childhood.
"Hinata – how is Neji doing?" he asked, interrupting Ko's animated re-telling of toddler Hinata's unfortunate encounter with a nest of bees.
His eldest daughter turned, her guileless eyes wide.
"Big brother Neji is...okay, father," she answered, brows scrunched. Her eyes darted to Ko, who nodded.
"He helped you practice the gentle fist this week, didn't he? Did you notice anything different about him?"
Hinata shrank as her father pressed for more details to find the truth behind her non-response. She pressed her palms into her dress to absorb the beads of sweat forming.
At the beginning of their scheduled training, Neji had dismissed her with the excuse that he urgently needed to meet the hokage.
For a ninja of his level, Neji was a terrible liar. He felt an urgent need to go somewhere, somewhere she sensed her father couldn't know about. She suspected he'd arranged a meeting with Ten-ten while the clan assumed he would be at the training grounds with her. Hinata pitied him – and trained alone for two hours to maintain his cover. Witnessing Neji's heartbreak scared her from disclosing the affection she'd nursed for Naruto since her first day at the academy.
Then they might take Naruto away, too, she concluded, a twinge of pain tearing across her chest. Poor big brother – he can't choose who he loves either.
"No, father."
Hiashi met his daughter's eyes, then looked back to his plate as he caught sight of her blush.
"Well, if you notice anything of concern, please notify me," he said. "I worry for Neji."
"You mean Neji Sato?" Hanabi interjected, pointedly leaving out the usual "big brother" qualifier.
A few of the children at the table giggled. Hinata closed her eyes and sighed.
"Hanabi! Your cousin is still one of us. I won't have you speaking about him that way," Hiashi snapped.
Hanabi pursed her lips to the side, then shrugged. Her father's scolding didn't faze her. She remained his favorite daughter regardless.
"You know he'd become Neji Sato if he could choose, right?"
"Hm," Hiashi replied. "Neji is not your responsibility, Hanabi."
Perceptive, as always, he wanted to say. His youngest daughter smirked, knowing her father had conceded her point.
I failed Neji, the Hyuga patriarch thought.
A single glance at his nephew's face often prompted Hiashi to mentally note that Neji could have been his son. And by blood alone, Neji was his son, even if he wore the branch clan's seal.
He'd robbed Neji of a father by allowing Hisashi to die in his place. Then 14 years later, robbed him of his lover and child.
Yet he had no choice on the latter because Neji was still a Hyuga, even if he spent every minute within the compound walls wishing he could renounce his family name.
Another replay of Neji's insolent display, and Hiashi came to another realization – I failed her, too.
Risa's pleas ran through his mind. Too young, too different, too angry...too soon. As she spoke them, he knew her words were true, despite his stated insistence that the marriage proceed. He dismissed her because he feared Risa's anguish would weaken his resolve.
Then in the days following her wedding, he ignored those who urged him to at least verbally rebuke Risa for drinking herself into oblivion. Hiashi didn't need to contribute further to her suffering.
She needed to marry his nephew because she was a Hyuga. Their union would salvage some of Neji's honor.
When he finalized their betrothal, Hiashi could foresee months of intense but ultimately impotent backlash from his nephew.
Hiashi's heart twisted every time he witnessed Neji vent his hatred at an innocent target, whether his eldest daughter or Risa. He knew he was the rightful target of Neji's resentment, but his nephew feared the seal's power enough to restrain himself around the clan head. However, years of watching Neji taught Hiashi that when he let his emotions possess him, they would translate into action eventually.
Behind the closed doors of their bedroom, Risa had nobody shielding her from the full impact of his anger. At least while they both lived within the compound, he could intercede on her behalf, try to foster something resembling amicable coexistence between his nephew and his arranged wife.
The Hyuga patriarch called a servant over, and whispered for the woman to pass a confidential message to Neji Hyuga.
"Tell Neji to meet me in my study immediately after dinner service concludes. We have urgent business to discuss."