Author's Note: Really proud of this chapter, if I do say so myself! Enjoy, and leave me your thoughts in the review box.
Neji felt tempted to flag one of the servants for sake to dull the silent screaming of his senses. His mind grew frantic from the monotony of sitting alone for untold minutes bleeding into hours, while the jingle of laughter and conversation rang in his ears. For lack of anything else to interrupt his boredom, he'd already eaten more than his fill – especially of his favorite egg tarts.
But he handled alcohol only marginally better than Risa.
You can survive another two hours of this sober, Neji reminded himself. On his first mission after his wedding, he'd sat crouched in a crevice watching the same barren boulder field for five hours, waiting to ambush. Somehow his uncle's birthday banquet managed to test his patience more.
The drooling toddler now slept on his mother's shoulder while she discussed cooking techniques and new recipes with Risa.
"Oh – I've never tried adding bay leaves to a brine soak!" Risa said, as if the woman across from her had unlocked the ultimate, all-powerful jutsu.
"Family recipe. But I suppose I can share it because you're family."
"You're too kind!"
Any more, and I'll need a drink, he thought.
Much as he hated admitting the truth, Neji envied his wife. He now missed sitting at his uncle's table, where he could at least exchange snippets of conversation with Hinata. Being alone by choice suited Neji. But, he resented solitude imposed because he refused to perform the requisite submissive rituals with a smile.
A servant tapped his shoulder. The unexpected disruption wiped the stewing discontent from his mind – and tensed his entire upper body with surprise. He scolded himself for allowing her to catch him off guard.
"Lord Hiashi has a message for you – urgent business, meet him in his study right after dinner ends," she whispered next to his ear.
"Did he offer more specifics?" Neji replied, frowning.
"No. I know nothing else."
"Thank you. Tell my uncle I'll be there."
A rising tide of apprehension filled his chest. Neji knew avoiding a special meeting with the clan head would worsen his punishment, if he intended to activate the seal.
Surely he wouldn't use the seal for something so petty, Neji reassured himself as he began breathing exercises to slow his heart.
He imagined reversing time until the moment after Hiashi Hyuga complimented Risa on her beauty. He pictured himself curtly nodding back to his uncle and assuming his seat. Perhaps in that alternate version of the evening, he could contribute occasional remarks to Risa's ongoing conversations with the family whose names he didn't even know. And he could retire to the sofa with a full stomach and a mind untroubled by the prospect of excruciating, mind-splitting pain.
Risa excused herself from her ongoing recipe exchange, promising to reveal the secret to flawless spun sugar candy once she checked on her husband.
"Neji – are you feeling alright?" she whispered. "I could hear your breathing –"
"Yes," he replied, eyes downcast. Jaw tense. "You don't need to concern yourself with me."
Glancing at the Hyuga sigil of Risa's silver hairpin, Neji wanted to see the inlaid diamonds and rubies torn out, the metal twisted into a crumpled heap at his feet. The ornate metalwork and precious stones only reminded him of his father's empty-casket funeral and Ten-ten's crying face in the hospital bed.
He pictured the seal burning into his 5-year-old forehead. None of the adults around him attempted to stop the agony, or apologize for it. Anyone Neji asked answered that he needed to bear the pain in Hinata's name because she was the clan's heir, and he was not.
A hand rested on his shoulder blade, like a butterfly landing on unstable feet. Neji's core stiffened in response, yet he couldn't force his muscles to shrug off her touch.
"You're heating up," Risa said softly.
"I'm okay, Risa," he reiterated, raising his voice enough to turn the family's heads.
"If you insist," she muttered.
The comforting hand retreated to his wife's lap and she pivoted away from him, eyes watching the tablecloth. Risa's hairpin now sat right in the center of Neji's line of sight.
An unexpected voice in his mind wanted her to turn back, so he could spill his anxieties and beg for whatever aid she could offer. Perhaps the Hyuga patriarch would listen to a woman's pleas for mercy. If Risa insisted the kiss wasn't that great of a slight…
He pushed the notion back into his subconscious –appealing to her for protection injured his pride, the one possession his uncle could never torture out of him. Now wasn't the time to test whether he could consider his wife a true ally.
Neji hated feeling like a simple animal, driven into desperate submission by fear of pain.
After hours more of stewing alone in his seat, dinner concluded with Hiashi Hyuga thanking the guests for another joy-filled celebration, answered by a banquet hall full of echoing cheers and laughter. Without a word to his wife, Neji slipped through the press of bodies exiting the hall from a side door and soon found himself alone in the dark corridor leading to his uncle's study.
Standing before Hiashi Hyuga's study, Neji saw the sliding door open by a few inches, as if his uncle were inviting him in. Taking a deep breath, Neji sat in the straight-backed wooden chair facing his uncle's desk and gripped the armrests to keep himself from fleeing. He kept the lights off – with the seal activated, any trace of light would only magnify the pain in his head.
A few deep breaths later, the cool, dark study calmed his frayed nerves enough that he could redirect his energies to bracing for the retribution to come.
"Thank you for your patience, Neji."
The door slid along its tracks, then slid closed with a click once Hiashi entered. The suspended light fixture above the desk filled the study with a soft yellow glow, stinging Neji's eyes.
Skip the formalities, uncle – Neji wanted to answer. Punish me now if you insist on it.
"I'd like to apologize to you. And to Risa," Hiashi continued as he sat opposite of his nephew. "I – wanted to speak with you because her birthday falls a little over two weeks after today. July 17."
What game is he playing with me? – Neji thought. As if he cares about the date of Risa's birthday any more than he cares about the price of radishes.
Neji's pulse throbbed in his temples. At least Hiashi kept his hands folded on the desk, and made no moves to brandish the hand signs that would bring pain.
Neji forced himself to make eye contact and wrestled the muscles of his face into a neutral expression.
"I leave for a mission to the Land of Tea in 10 days. As jounin team leader, my attendance is a must, uncle," he explained.
"I am aware. Ko will be replacing you on the mission as team leader."
By your command, Neji finished. Not that the hokage will object if my uncle wishes to replace one Hyuga jounin with another.
He didn't need to ask Risa to know she preferred Ko's company on her birthday over his. Neji's perfidy turned to annoyance. He resented the thought of attending another miserable birthday 'celebration' out of familial obligation.
"I don't believe that's wise. Ko isn't acquainted with the team as I am –"
"Ko has completed missions with the Inuzuka and the Aburame previously. As for the bushy browed chunin, Ko knows Might Gai well enough to understand his student's strengths and shortcomings."
Hiashi paused to gauge Neji's reaction, and noted the flicker of a scowl cross his nephew's face at the mention of removing him from the mission. He opened the top drawer of his desk to retrieve a framed photograph of his deceased wife holding a newborn Hinata, then slid the frame before Neji's confused eyes.
"That's your former wife, uncle," Neji said.
Hiashi flinched at the word former.
Neji only remembered a few fragmented moments involving his late aunt, who died on a mission a few months before his fourth birthday. Had she lived, he imagined her soft heart would temper his uncle's usual close-fisted approach to clan affairs.
"Your aunt is still my best friend, Neji. Yet I only knew Mitsuko in passing before my father promised my hand to her."
"And you expect me to embrace Risa as my best friend because you married us for reasons unrelated to friendship or compatibility?" Neji spat before his self-preservation instincts could curb his retort.
His uncle closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Not immediately. Your aunt and I were married for a year before we could converse for longer than 10 minutes without arguing. It was three years before conceiving Hinata. My hope is that you will one day look to your wife as a trusted partner and friend."
Neji noted that his uncle made no mention of love or that Risa might become his lover in addition to being a partner and friend. He figured Hiashi Hyuga understood that raising the possibility of loving Risa would trigger far more than annoyance. Even the best arranged marriage could only ever provide a pale shadow of the love he'd grown with Ten-ten over their years together.
Neji decided to change the subject rather than verbalizing any of his objections.
"Hm. And how does this discussion relate to Risa's birthday?"
"Treat her to a nice dinner. Buy her a gift. Your wife should have at least one day of the year when she doesn't bend her back in the kitchen."
Touching, Neji sneered.
"You should understand that she harbors no friendly feelings for me, uncle. She told me herself – she believes I'm scum compared to my father and considers me a selfish embarrassment unworthy of my name."
He withheld mention of the times Risa regarded him with fear and repulsion, as if she married a feral animal prone to violence and indifferent to a woman's consent.
"With the way you treat her, nephew, I'd expect her mind to remain fixed," Hiashi gently scolded. "I know Risa. She doesn't hate you. She cares for your well-being, and she'll warm to you if you show her kindness."
"I'll consider your idea, uncle," Neji answered in a clipped tone, ending their discussion of his married life. "Have a good night."
Hiashi moved between his nephew and the door – arms crossed, Byakugan activated. Neji bladed his hands against his chest, ready to defend himself or fight his way to the study's only exit.
"One final matter to discuss. Your fight is with me, Neji. Not your wife," the Hyuga patriarch said, his tone sending a shiver across Neji's skin. "Strike me if you feel so strongly that I've wronged you."
Seeing no attacks forthcoming from his hot-tempered nephew, Hiashi continued his ultimatum.
"If I see even one unexplained mark on Risa or she tells me you've injured her – you will pay. I'll give you no more second chances."
No more second chances – the words sank into Neji's consciousness and settled at the forefront of his mind. Under the best circumstances, Neji would lose his eyes and live the rest of his years at the village's margins. His uncle would require any Hyuga in good standing to shun him. Under the worst circumstances, Neji would die a lonely, torturous death.
"Understood, uncle."
"Good night, Neji. Tell Risa good night for me."
His uncle gave no indications of whether he sensed any lingering resistance coming from his nephew.
Moments after Hiashi finished speaking, Neji closed the sliding door behind him without looking back. He wove through now-silent corridors and across the deserted moonlit courtyard to the rooms he shared with his wife.
She cares about your well-being – his uncle's corrective words resurfaced as he sat at the kitchen table drinking a glass of water, eyes closed. No more second chances.
Neji remembered Risa's timidly ventured hand at the dinner table. The pressure of her fingertips just detectable through his shirt. He thought of Keiko's icy reception, how no Hyuga other than his wife spoke to him during the entire dinner.
Her notions of my well-being are far different from my own, uncle. And so are yours, he countered silently. This time, his stubborn pride didn't immediately protest that Risa only appeared to care – only wanted to manipulate him into accepting the circumscribed life of a branch Hyuga.
Risa Hyuga isn't my enemy, he concluded. The words crept into his mind, then quickly solidified.
He still couldn't bring himself to call her a friend.
At least while he still inhabited the clan compound, unleashing his negative emotions at her wouldn't help his cause.
His brow wrinkled as the kitchen door drew open. Risa stepped in barefoot, careful not to catch her dress on the door frame. He observed that her face and hair were still decorated for the banquet that concluded nearly an hour ago. Like a doll, Neji thought again, without irony.
"Oh –" she gasped, catching her husband's white eyes. "I...didn't expect to see you awake at this hour."
"I see you've also returned late."
"I had tea with your aunt Keiko after dinner. She's a cousin on my father's side," Risa replied with a defensive edge in her voice. "Trying to buy some goodwill for us, Neji."
"Hm. I see."
Neji ignored her implication that she was cleaning up his messes, paying the price for his transgressions while he threw his honor to the gutter without regard for hers. Yet he didn't object to Risa's use of the word 'us,' thought he'd never thought of him and his wife on those terms – as a unit with common interests.
"It took her husband's coaxing and mine to even make her acknowledge me," she continued, raising her voice. "She's convinced you're on a quest to destroy the Hyuga clan from within...and you've possibly made me part of your plan. She finds it plausible that you've been paid –"
"I appreciate your efforts," he interrupted. "You look tired. Perhaps you should consider my aunt a lost cause."
Neji gripped his knee to avoid scowling at Keiko's theory that he cared more for money than freedom to pursue a future with Ten-ten. If his quest resulted in the Hyugas' destruction, he would take no time to grieve the clan that would rather he never touch her again.
"Consider this as well – she's utterly committed to proving that you're still leaving to see the Sato girl. She's not the only one within these walls. I tried to soothe her mind, to no effect."
A blade twisted in Neji's stomach. He felt a flash of relief that the most damning evidence of his ongoing affair had reached Risa before it crossed any Hyuga who wanted to complete his downfall.
Neji experienced a pang of remorse for forcing his wife to shield him with lies, before the remembered sensation of Ten-ten's lips on his cast any guilt aside.
Keiko Hyuga would pass her convictions as fact to any Hyuga who lent her even a minute of attention. At least a few in Neji's tangled extended family would agree with her. He could only rely on Hinata, and his uncle to a lesser extent, to resist the whispers that circulated like poisonous gas around him. Now, he could maybe place Risa on the same list.
Risa sat across from him, letting out a long, rattling sigh. She pulled the silver Hyuga sigil hairpin from her hair and set it on the table with the few strands that came out with it.
"Do you need help undoing your hair?" Neji asked. He pitied her – the servants would all be in bed or finishing clean-up of dinner. Extracting every hidden pin holding the nest in place would take her hours of grasping behind her head.
"If you're offering."
A smile crossed Risa's face and he saw the muscles around her eyes relax. He'd never seen his wife disarm herself so thoroughly in his presence.
Standing behind her head, he disentangled a single folded wire pin holding one of Risa's twists in place. She drew a breath as the pin's curved end snagged on a lock of hair before the twist unraveled. Neji set the pin next to the ornate silver piece, followed by another pin. Guided by his eyes – practiced in precision targeting, his hands worked wordlessly but efficiently. The pile grew to 10 pins. Twenty pins. Fifty pins. By the time he removed the last one, he counted 92 pins.
She's never allowed me so close, he realized, a knot constricting in his core.
"Thank you."
Risa loosened the remaining braids and twists with a quick finger comb-through. She gazed at the pile of pins with the wide eyes of a child noticing some overlooked detail for the first time.
"So many…," she exclaimed breathlessly. "The sight of them...is a little humiliating."
A moment later, her back bent in muffled laughter.
Out of her sight, the corners of Neji's lips curved up ever so slightly. He made a mental note to buy a birthday card on fine rice paper the next time he visited the village bookstore. He would decide later whether to follow with a dinner reservation.