For James Potter, that summer had somehow been the most unpredictable summer he'd had in a while. The vanilla scent of old perfume lingered in the hallways of his new home, waking him up from any bad memories quickly. The quiet Scottish countryside was a blessing compared to the hustle and bustle of the city streets he'd been growing used too since his discharge. His life had changed drastically since the day he lost Remus Lupin, and it seemed that no matter what James did, he would never be able to be escape from the smoke and mirrors of life's curveballs.

His current curveball was a five-foot-two pop star named Lily Evans. She was an impressionable young woman with auburn hair that glowed golden in the spotlight, pale skin that looked like porcelain, and dark emerald eyes. Ever since he saved her life, he'd been trying to figure out how he was supposed to fit into her world.

He thought of her magnetic voice crooning to hundreds and thousands of people in the stands of the Manchester stage. She was like siren, capturing the attention of anyone who came close enough to hear her low registers and delicate croons. James didn't regret saving her life, not at all, but after he had carried her off a burning stage, he'd felt awkward around her, as if a wall was surrounding her and he couldn't break through to understand her better.

Of course, she probably wanted it that way.

It all replayed in his mind thanks to his now permanent presence in Lily's home. James had enough with ghosts, but the living one he was protecting kept him occupied with her fluttering fingers and downcast eyes. She reminded James of himself after the bombing that happened while he was in active duty. He could tell how she still seemed to be living in that moment, the same moment he lived when he closed his eyes, where smoke filled their lungs and soot covered their clothes. Every time Lily looked at James, she seemed to be taken aback by his very person, as if he'd surprised her by saving her life.

James also knew that the pop star was blaming herself for what happened at her concert. After all, Lily was known for being close with her fans. Lily followed her fans on social media, made them gifts and kept in touch. She even stopped her car in the city if she saw someone wearing her merchandise just so that she could thank them for supporting her music. She cared about the people who took the time to enjoy her art, so she always went above and beyond for them.

"I've never met anyone like her," Alice Longbottom, Lily's only female bodyguard told James when they were going over her file, "she genuinely cares for her fans as if they were her very best mates from school."

Perhaps the boy who prompted the attack at Lily's concert, Severus Snape, had twisted her friendliness into something more, something obsessive. It was something that even James couldn't have predicted when he witnessed the bomb go off. The boy was obsessed with Lily, and not in a good or healthy way. Underneath the surface of a nineteen-year-old fanboy, was a twisted boy with a lust for a woman he knew nothing about. Now, he was facing a lifetime sentence for setting a faulty homemade bomb off at a pop concert just for the chance to get to Lily on stage.

Lily hadn't even thanked James for his service that night. Even after James was assigned as a permanent part of her security detail, Lily barely looked his way. He tried not to take offense to it, she hardly ever looked anyone's way. Alice was closest with Lily and noted that she had changed drastically since her concert incident.

According to Alice, every other weekend before the bombing incident there had been a flight to New York or a day trip to the Seine. Lily had been at the top of her game before the bombing at her concert. Everyone wanted to work with her. Everyone wanted to be her friend. At face value, her life was perfect, and it still was, in James' opinion.

He'd read her files, notes, even news articles about her from before he took his job. She had billions of dollars at her disposal. She had not one, not two, but three houses to her name. There was a particular file filled with known stalkers, another file on her preferences for contact, and a whole list of people who worked on her management team. Lily Evans didn't break a nail without someone knowing and arriving to fix it quickly.

Still, it was clear the pop star was adjusting to the crushing weight of anxiety that followed the attack in the stadium. After the detonation, all Lily did was sit curled up on a sofa covered in blankets. No one could get Lily out of her own warped mind for the remainder of May. Alice tried, as she had the longest relationship with the girl, but Lily merely brushed off Alice's attempts at helping. Lily wasn't eating, sleeping, or taking proper care of herself. Some days, James knew she didn't ever get out of bed.

Her management team had apparently tried to help by canceling the remainder of her Roses tour. James had heard Alice mention several members of her family, who'd come to see if they could pull her from her empty state. Lily just stayed silent, brooding, and aloof from everyone.

James knew how she felt. The last time he'd lost someone close to him, he had been so depressed and the world around him had seemed distorted. He had no doubt that Lily was having trouble making sense of what had happened in her own way. It didn't help that James was always there, reminding her of the night repeatedly.

In every flashback, every memory, James knew she was remembering him. The video was all over the internet, according to James' other co-worker, Frank Longbottom. Everyone in the world had watched along as James swung Lily over his shoulder with ease and people rushed away from the burning stage. He'd carried her out of harm's way like something out of a superhero movie. James flushed anytime he thought of their first meeting now, because she'd been so horrid during her confusion.

"What the hell just happened?"

He'd replied simply, "I just saved your life."

In retrospect, James should have tried to slowly explain what had happened. He should have tried to calm her down. Instead, he'd rushed away at the persistence of his own demons that night. Maybe, if he had not run, they'd be something like friends. Instead, he'd left her standing there after the bomb, acting like she wasn't worth much more of his time.

Now she hated him, and he was forced to be with her in all matters of her day. Even when Lily was walking alone along the halls of her old Scotland chateau, her bodyguards were there watching her between shifts and cameras. James, Frank, and Alice all traded times to watch over her. She wasn't the best company to keep, so they also hung out with each other rather often whenever Lily retreated to her room alone.

Frank and Alice Longbottom were a recently married couple, but not in the annoying way. James enjoyed their company, especially since Frank had gone to school with James in secondary. They entertained each other with cards, Alice's hilarious stories, and James sometimes cooked for them in Lily's rarely used kitchen. In the short time that they'd been a team, James trusted them as much as any other team he'd worked with, if not more.

Ironically, despite being Lily's least favorite guard, James saw Lily the most. James followed her everywhere she went during the day, despite her clear dislike for his presence. It might've been his job, but his consistency clearly annoyed Lily. She tried to lose him on her walks, but it was like trying to shake off a thorn from a picker bush. He followed her into her refurbished barn, no matter how long she sat on the edge of one of the many chairs and stared at the wall. He watched her cook too, and he tried not to scoff when she burned pasta on the stovetop. By the fourth week of dancing around each other, Lily finally lost her cool around James.

"Do you have to go everywhere I go?"

James stepped back in surprise when she rounded on him. "I am your bodyguard."

"But in the same car?"

"Yes."

Lily's expression remained unmoved as she replied, "I'm just going to grab a coffee at the store down the road."

He pointed out flatly, "I'm not doing my job, if I have no body to guard."

Lily yanked open her door. "The creamer isn't going to hurt me."

He opened the other door to the passenger side before wittily responding, "what if you suddenly become lactose intolerant?"

For the most part, James had stayed quiet. He tried not to upset her, sending her into a fragile mood. Something about her sour attitude that day had set on his wit quickly, so he accidentally let loose his own bark to her bite. Lily looked him up and down, her little nose all screwed up.

"Lactose intolerant?" She echoed back, "really?"

"Really." He ruffled his hair and sat down in her passenger seat. He didn't dare look her in the eyes again. "Look, where you go, I go. Those are the terms of having us around."

She slipped her hand through her own hair, "I just want to be alone. I'm never alone anymore. You have to understand."

"And you have to understand, I want to keep my job." James said as he buckled his seatbelt, "so I'm still coming with you, at least until my contract states that I have to leave you to fend off coffee creamer alone."

She'd pulled a frustrated face and put her sunglasses on. He did feel bad, he knew it had to suck having people follow her around all the time. The thing was, without them, Lily unknowingly went looking for them. It was like she wanted to stay alone, until she got alone and remembered what loneliness truly felt like.

James saw her fingers tapping the steering wheel with agitation as she drove. Her tiny face was stone cold, which wasn't very becoming of her. Perhaps it was only because he was so used to seeing her lit up for cameras on TV. He let her go into the coffee shop alone, just to try and see if she would relax.

She was just so unsettled; James could see it in the way she walked around like a bomb was going to go off again. Light feet, quick temper, and nothing but a pale reflection. She was just barely surviving in her introverted world, nursing feelings with wine when she thought no one was looking. Alice said that she was about to slip liquid Benadryl into Lily's nightly tea.

"She has to sleep." Alice told James one night after finding Lily curled up in blankets by the old fireplace. "She's going to run herself into the ground."

"She needs to see a therapist." James countered, "she's in shock from the concert."

Alice just sent James a look, "you try telling her management team that their star performer needs therapy."

Something in Alice's tone told James not to approach the subject any further with anyone. The most adventurous Lily had gotten in weeks was to get coffee from the shop down the road. Alice and James both watched over her as she sat in the dark, wrapped in a blanket. James thought of his own therapist, Minerva, and how much good it would do Lily to talk to someone. Lily didn't seem to want to open up to anyone.

One afternoon, James' ever-present shadow followed her as she randomly made her way down a rolling green hill and then all the way back to the little manor. It had been a particularly wet walk to the streams since the clouds dropped more rain and James' shoes were soaked in mud. The summer rain had also soaked through James' clothes, but he didn't mind. It reminded him of hiking with his father when he was younger.

Lily was walking slow, panting as she tried to keep going up the hill. James noticed she got fatigued easily and he knew it was because she was nothing but a rail underneath her clothing. Since meeting her, she'd dropped a lot of weight from the stress. He was worried, but he was her bodyguard, and didn't think weight as an appropriate topic. He was at her side, prepared to catch her if she tripped, as she opened the back door that led into a sunroom.

There was a figure not too far away and James looked up, expecting Frank, or Alice, only to find a stranger with longer black hair. James pushed Lily out of the way, his heartbeat erratic as he pulled his handgun from his holster.

Lily fell to her floor, hitting the wall loudly as she tried to steady herself with one arm. "What are you doing?" Lily screeched at James from the floor. "Fuck, James! My elbow is going to bruise!"

The stranger swung his hands up in defense and his phone fell into his lap. "I come in peace!"

James ignored Lily, his aim was on the stranger as he asked roughly, "who're you?"

"Sirius Black." Sirius remained calm, despite the gun pointed at his chest. "I'm Lily's friend, from Los Angeles?"

Lily scrambled to her feet, standing between Sirius and James. "Sirius is one of my best friends!"

"What?" James' eyes dropped to Lily, "but how did he get in without setting the alarms off?"

Lily said, as if it were obvious, "because I gave him the pass code?"

Sirius leaned around Lily's tiny form, waving at James. "You must be her newer bodyguard. I'd previously only met Alice, and her husband Frank."

James ignored Sirius; he was too busy staring down at Lily in disbelief. He thought she'd been in danger again, but it turned out she just invited random people into her house. It was like she had no idea what James was required to do if he didn't know someone who was getting too close to her.

"Listen," Lily soothed James, "Sirius is just early, he normally gets here a lot later, so you are already off shift."

James was not satisfied with her answer. "Do you often give out your alarm pass codes?"

"No," Lily said, avoiding his stare.

James cocked his eyebrow, "that sounded confident."

"I'm surprised I wasn't mentioned in her file." Sirius spoke up again, this time gathering James' attention as he joked, "we're kind of a package deal, me and Evans."

James lowered his weapon, but only slightly. James contemplated Sirius. The producer was right at home in Lily's house, probably because he'd been there so many times before. The lack of actual sun outside had left the room doused in shades of brown. The darkness made Sirius' hair darker, more like James' black hair. There was nothing off about Sirius that James could tell, but it still unnerved him that Lily had given out the security passcodes to her friends.

"Why are you so early?" Lily asked Sirius as she squeezed water from her undershirt.

"Didn't you miss me?"

"Well sure, I just wasn't expecting you until ten or so, like usual."

"I got done early," Sirius stretched his arms, "so I came to eat those leftover tacos you ordered two nights ago and drink your good red wine."

Lily shrugged, "I already ate the tacos, and the red wine bottle is half empty."

"No!" Sirius protested, "now what am I supposed to do?"

"Order pizza?"

James was still looking back and forth between Lily and Sirius. The muscle in James' jaw clenched and he looked at Lily like she was trying to kill him. Lily crossed her arms, refusing to budge until his defensive stance was gone. Behind Lily, Sirius grew bored of the confrontation very quickly.

"Movie night!" Sirius commanded Lily to stop her stare down with James. "I bought that new movie you wanted to watch, Lily."

"Which one?"

"The one with Chris Evans."

Lily snorted, rolling her eyes, "which movie with Chris Evans?"

"Does it really matter?" Sirius joked, "you don't watch his movies for the plot anyways."

"True."

Sirius went through the door to the kitchen without further prompt. James heard her friend rummaging around the kitchen for something to eat. Lily blew her hair from her face before she considered James again.

James put his gun back in its holster, right beside his taser. All her bodyguards carried guns, of course, but he was the first guard to ever pull one out in her home. She looked him up and down, her hip jutting out as she crossed her arms.

"Sorry," James' mouth turned into a frown when he saw how upset she still was. "I thought he was breaking and entering."

"I think my waving at him should've clued you in that he was a friend."

"I didn't focus on what you were doing."

"Next time, please wait for me to ask for your help."

"I won't wait for your permission to protect you." His eyes were glaring down at her. "That's not how this works."

Lily squared her shoulders, "but you could've hurt Sirius."

"You didn't tell me that he was a regular here." James shrugged, "but neither did Alice or Frank, so we'll have to get better about talking to each other."

Lily kicked her wet shoes off by the door. "Just try not to push me to the ground next time, yeah?"

"Sorry," James said moodily at her brush aside of his concerns, "next time, I'll politely ask the intruder if they're going to try and murder you before I pull my gun out."

She replied in a sickly-sweet voice, "that's all I ask."

James wanted to argue with her about the passcodes, but instead he held himself back. He looked down at the floor and counted to ten. He was still in his wet clothes, but he didn't feel cold, thanks to the adrenaline in his system. Lily stood up taller when he backed down, squeezing water from her long hair again.

"I'm going to go change," she mumbled, "have a good night off."

James grabbed her shoulder before she could walk out, "who else have you given your code too?"

"No one." She was lying, based on the way her eyes fluttered away from his.

"Uh," Sirius appeared in the doorway carrying two wine glasses, "Steven, Lily?"

"Steven?"

James had no idea who Sirius was talking about. He'd read so many names in her file, that he honestly couldn't keep many straight. He'd memorized the names of her family, due to importance, but everyone else he felt like he was learning on the job.

"Steven's her F.W.B."

Lily choked on her wine, and she glared at Sirius over the rim of her cup. "Sirius!"

Sirius shrugged, "it's true."

James just looked between them, confused. "F.W.B.?"

"Steven's her friend, with benefits," Sirius explained to James, "but don't worry, he's never actually come to Scotland to see her. That would require effort on his part."

Lily hit Sirius in the chest and Sirius laughed before taking a sip of his drink. James considered Lily, quite surprised to hear she had a boyfriend. If she had someone who cared about her so much, why wasn't he here helping Lily while she struggled? James thought it was odd that Lily had never even mentioned the bloke in passing to Alice.

Lily crossed her arms self-consciously while still holding onto her wine glass and murmured to James softly, "you won't have to worry about Steven."

Sirius winked at James unashamedly, "want to watch a movie with us, since Alice is about to switch with you?"

"No, thanks." James continued looking down at Lily. "I'll be in the security room waiting for Alice to arrive, if you need me."

"Okay."

Lily's cat Juniper clawed at her leg. Lily bent down, and then picked her fluffy black cat up. When she stood upright again, James had already stalked off in the direction of the security room. James could feel her eyes following him over the tufts of Juniper's thick black fur hiding her face.

Sirius said, quite loudly, "he's hot, Lily."

"He's all yours," Lily grumbled, scratching Juniper's ears.

"Don't mind if I do."

James felt himself blush from the man's compliment. He hadn't thought himself handsome, not in that sense, for a long time. Sure, he had a handsome enough face, but underneath the perfect exterior was the broken interior. Not many people were open to taking all the baggage that came with someone like James.

Sirius continued to invite James to watch a movie with them every night that he was over. Sirius acted like they were all old friends. James was always quick to turn down Sirius's offers in favour of hanging out alone in his bedroom, which was the only place he felt comfortable enough to call his best friend Annie.

"How's the job going?" Annie would always ask over the sound of barbells from her gym.

James always replied the same way as he lay across his bed, "it's better than sorting files in an office."

James and Lily danced around each other in small spaces and avoided eye contact in all joined places. He didn't even react when she burned her dinner anymore, instead favouring silence. They co-existed, not as friends, but under the mutual silent agreement that they were better off being polite and professional. If there was one thing they had in common, it was that they were both incredibly stubborn.

"I was hoping you'd like, get her to introduce you to all her hot single friends and you'd get yourself a girlfriend." Annie joked one night as they chatted while James did push ups on his bed frame.

James rolled his eyes at Annie's fantasies, "she rarely goes out, Annie."

"You should get her out," Annie encouraged, "if anyone knows where she's coming from, it's you."

"Annie," James reminded her carefully, "she doesn't know a thing about me, because we're not friends. We're not even co-workers. She's just my boss."

Annie proceeded to pester him more, but he just brushed her off in favor of going to the kitchen to grab a drink of water. He didn't bother changing, as he was certain Lily was probably curled up in front of her TV in her room at that point. His chest was bare, but he was wearing long plaid pants and ugly fuzzy slippers. It was enough to at least cover his prosthetic leg, which was all he really cared about.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed about his leg, it was more of the fact that he didn't want Lily thinking that he couldn't take care of her or protect her properly because of it. James ruffled his fuzzy curls as he thought about her reaction if she ever realized he was missing a leg. He doubted it would go over well. The kitchen was dark when he entered it, but he didn't bother turning the lights on since he was just grabbing water.

Someone cleared their throat, alerting James of their presence. James stopped in his tracks. He caught her shadow on the counter and looked Lily Evans up and down, carefully. Just one look, that's all it took for James to loose track of what he was supposed to be doing. The moonlight cascaded over her, making her look as if she was born of the darkness. A star in the most literal sense. He considered just why so many people were willing to pay hundreds of dollars to watch her dance and sing on a stage. He felt lucky enough to see her perched on the edge of her counter in her camisole.

And then he saw she was eating chocolate pudding with a spoon, he had to resist the urge to smile, because it was so childlike. It felt like another side to her that she had yet to show him.

"Late night?" she asked, prompting him to break his concentration.

James rubbed his eyes before he grumbled, "why are you eating pudding at three in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep." She leaned over to grab the other pudding cup, waving it in the air at him. "Want one?"

"No." James walked around her, shuffling slightly to try and hide any metal from appearing at his ankle.

"Are you sure?" She turned to follow his movements over to the glass cabinet.

"Yes."

Lily scrutinised James as he got a glass and filled it with water from the tap. It might've been dark, but he was nervous as she surveyed him drinking his glass. Lily licked the chocolate pudding off her spoon, unashamedly staring at her shirtless guard with a bit more interest. James put the cup on the counter and his eyes fluttered up to meet her gaze for a moment.

"You sure you don't want to join?" She opened another pudding packet. "It's chocolate."

She shook the cup in front of his face before digging her spoon in. She sighed dramatically as she took her first bite. James rolled his eyes at her dramatics. She continued eating her pudding despite his mockery. This Lily was one that he had not expected, playful and witty.

He liked it.

He liked her.

A dangerous thought to have, let alone admit to himself.

James leaned his arms against the counter across from Lily. "I have a question."

"I might have an answer."

He tilted his head at her in the darkness. "Aren't you rich?"

"Yes?" She snorted at the absurdity of the question he'd asked.

"Well, then can't you get someone to cook for you?"

"I don't need anyone to cook for me."

James motioned to her hand, "you burn anything you attempt and then eat chocolate pudding at three in the morning."

Lily took another heaping spoonful of chocolate pudding. "I don't burn everything."

"You burned eggs this morning." James pointed out.

"That was Juniper's fault, she distracted me." Lily blamed her cat, but her cheeks flushed red even more in the darkness.

"No," he countered, "they said you have to go back to California soon. You started crying, and the eggs burned."

Lily dropped her spoon into her pudding. He almost kicked himself for saying something so bold to her, after she'd just barely opened up to him. She ducked her chin and stirred the chocolate. She was clearly thinking about the phone call James and Frank had overheard from her management team. They needed her in California as soon as possible, and she'd cried the second she hung up the phone.

"You don't want to go back?" He noted her silence.

"I don't know." She had now taken to stabbing her pudding.

"Right." He sensed that Lily was reluctant to talk so he stood up and started for the kitchen door. "Goodnight."

"I used to have a cook but now, I just want my privacy." Her voice cut through the air, stopping James in his tracks. She added, "I like to be able to come home and feel normal."

"And normal to you is eating chocolate pudding in the middle of the night?" He was unconvinced by her explanations and excuses.

She actually smiled at him. "I'm on vacation James, I can eat whenever I like."

James didn't regret the bitter tone in his voice when he pointed out, "aren't you always on vacation, traveling to all sorts of countries and exotic destinations?"

"Hollywood," she stated, "I'm on a vacation from Hollywood."

James thought of all the starving people he'd seen while he worked the streets in other countries. He thought of the differences in lifestyles between Lily, and the people who made it paycheck to paycheck. He felt it hard to sympathize with her. "It must be so hard, being rich and famous."

Her heel hit the counter sharply and it made James jump. "You haven't seen it yet, Hollywood."

"What's so wrong with Hollywood?" His knuckles were white on the doorframe. "Parties, riches and glamour sound pretty nice to me."

"For a while, I felt so lucky to be invited to all the galas and surrounded by everything glittering in gold." She agreed with James before switching her tone. "It just gets old, honestly. You can't make one misstep, or everyone will know about it. There are people judging you by the clothes you wear, the way you walk and the way you talk. Don't even get me started on the media and paparazzi…"

Alice walked into the kitchen, cutting Lily off of her monologue. Alice looked at Lily first, taking in the sight of the pop star eating pudding on her counter. Lily waved her spoon at Alice in hello. Alice shook her head slightly before she turned away from Lily to look at James.

"What are you doing awake James?" Alice asked.

James shrugged, "I wanted water and she was in here taking chocolate pudding shots."

"Well, if you're awake, come help us get the gate camera back up and running," Alice said to James, "the weather knocked it out again, and Frank needs help with the wiring."

"Is it still really windy?" Lily asked.

"As windy as any average day in the high country." Alice told Lily before she walked back out of the kitchen.

"Be there in a second," James called after Alice.

Lily took another heaping spoonful of her pudding. James waited for Alice to disappear. When Alice's footsteps dissipated, he turned his full attention back to Lily.

"Yeah," he said softly, "I guess that would be hard, having eyes on you all the time."

"You feel like you're living in a glass house sometimes." James didn't know if he was imagining it, but it sounded like she might be tearing up. "After London, everything was just so loud and poignant. I wanted to stay away from it all for my mental state, but I guess running away didn't fix everything. I do love to be my own self sabotage."

"It wasn't your fault," he said rigidly, feeling disconnected despite knowing where she was coming from thanks to his own guilt. "You know that London wasn't your fault, right?"

"Tell that to the people mad at me for indirectly endangering their lives." Lily muttered, crossing one leg over the other. "Or tell the thousands of people retweeting the photo of you carrying me off stage while my fans in the pit were dealing with a literal bomb like they were in a war zone. They all think I'm a heartless bitch, because I didn't go help any of the people injured in the pit."

At first, he didn't answer, and then James said darkly, "in my experience, heroic actions often come with permanent consequences."

"I feel bad." Lily picked up her spoon, getting more chocolate. "I owe everything, everything to my fans and I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I never meant for people to think I didn't care. When you pulled me off the stage, I was so confused! I never meant for any of it to turn out the way it did."

James' hand lifted too grab at his curls. He twisted his fingers into the hair on his forehead. It was killing him to stand there and talk to her about her nightmares, when he still couldn't always sleep through the night himself. James' shoulders rolled back and he suddenly took in a deep breath. He didn't need to get lost in his own worst memories.

"It seems lonely." He said as he ducked his head so she couldn't read his expression.

"What?"

"Fame."

She swallowed thickly, and then she said with a broken voice, "more than you know."

If only she could hear the things going on in his own mind, when he wasn't being kind to himself. Anyone could relate to feeling lonely, even James. He resolved to leave her, before he said anything else and made the conversation more awkward or depressing. He started on his way out the door again when her voice followed him out.

"See you in three hours."

"Three hours?" James turned his cheek to glance at her, where she was still perched on the countertop like a model on TV.

"Breakfast time?" She then pointed at the clock, where both hands were vertical.

"Are you having more pudding cups?" he managed a joke, "because I'm quite partial to your burnt eggs."

Her tone was affronted as he left her there, pondering his joke on her own in the darkness of the kitchen. He hoped it had at least made her smile. He guessed he was feeling a little sorry for her, now that he knew that even pop stars felt lonely sometimes too.