Saleisha tried her hardest to smile but she couldn't. Not anymore. She had been faking it for so long now. For far too long. Baron moved a hand up and played with a strand of her long, curly, black hair. She moved her pearl grey eyes up and looked at their friends. They were all his friends. They wouldn't understand. They would never understand.
"You two are always so cute," Drew said. "You must love each other very much."
"I don't love him," Saleisha said.
The words just flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. It was the truth. Baron started laughing as if she was joking.
"Babe," Baron tried.
Now that the words were out there, Saleisha wasn't taking them back. She needed to get everything off her chest. She didn't care what they would all think of her afterwards. She needed them to know. She had tried to leave Baron several times now and she was still stuck in the relationship.
"Everytime I try to leave him, he tells me he'll kill himself if I leave, so I stay out of fear. I don't want everyone blaming me for his death. The most fucked up thing is that I'm starting to think about actually killing myself just to escape this hell," Saleisha took a deep breath. "And now it's gonna turn into an awkward silence. You'll leave and I'll still be stuck here."
Baron looked down and couldn't meet anyone's eyes. He was embarrassed they all had just found out the truth. He was also angry that she told them. She was never supposed to let anyone know. Saleisha looked around but no one said anything. It was as she had expected. Nothing but an awkward silence. Dolph cleared his throat to try and break the silence.
"Well," Dolph said.
"Yeah, we better get home. It's getting late," Drew said.
Saleisha just nodded, stood up, and left the room. Baron could deal with saying goodbye to everyone. She walked to the bedroom and waited. She sat on the bed and stared out at nothing. There was a time she cried. She cried a whole damn lot. Her tears had long run dry. There was just this giant, black hole inside her that kept getting bigger and bigger. One day it would swallow her whole and she wouldn't be able to get out. She used to fear that feeling. Now she just wanted it to consume her quickly so it all could end.
"Saleisha," Baron said.
She looked up and found him standing on the floor. She had never seem him look like that before. It was clear he didn't know what emotion to rely on.
"That wasn't okay to do in front of everyone," he said.
"But it's okay for you to emotionally guilt trip me into staying with you?" She asked.
"I love you," he said.
"So you say," she said.
He crossed the floor, squatted down in front of her, and grabbed her hands.
"I love you!" He said firmly. "And I know you love me too."
He moved up in an attempt to kiss her. Her lips remained sealed to deny him entrance. He coughed nervously and moved back a bit.
"Everytime you want sex, it feels like an assault on my body. I just lie there in silence, hoping you'll be done fast. It feels like you're raping me every fucking time, Baron. And I let you do it so you don't kill yourself," she said. "Do you have any idea how fucked up that is? Are you even present when you do these things to me? Do you even stop for one second to think about what you're doing to me?"
"I love you!" He screamed.
"I hate you!" She screamed back.
He was stunned for a few seconds. In his world everything was perfectly fine everytime he made her stay. He could pretend they were in a happy relationship. He was happy as long as he had her. He never stopped to ask how she was feeling. Deep inside he knew the answer. He knew how fucked up it all was but he kept pushing it down and denying it to himself. She was no longer going to let him deny anything. Everyone knew the truth now. She had aired their dirty laundry, and he was sure it was in a weak attempt to try and cover her own ass in all this mess.
"Maybe I should kill myself then," he said.
"Yeah, maybe you should," she said.
His jaw dropped. She had never spoken like that before. He shook his head no and stood back up.
"I don't believe you," he said. "How can you do this to me?"
She kept staring at him with blank eyes but no answer was given. She had none to give. He spun around and stormed out of the room. She heard the front door slam. She had no idea where he was going or when he was coming back, and she didn't care either. She hoped he would stay gone all night.
She had had enough. She couldn't stay in this house with him another day. Since it was his house, she was the one who had to leave. She stood up and started packing. All her belongings went into bags as fast as she could. She didn't have a plan. She just knew she couldn't stay anymore. She heard the front door open and expected Baron to come storming back. The footsteps she heard weren't running though. They were walking slowly through the house until they stopped in the open bedroom door.
"Where's Baron?" Drew asked.
She turned around, looked at him, and shrugged.
"Don't know, don't care," she said.
"Is it true? Does he really do that to you?" He asked.
"Yes," she sighed. "I don't even remember how many times I've tried leaving him now. More than ten."
"That's fucked up," he said.
"Try living here. Try lying down with a man you've grown to hate and feel him pounding away inside you until he's gotten what he wants. Try waking up everyday and pretending to the world that everything is okay. I can't do it anymore, Drew. I can't keep fucking pretending," she said.
The tears surprised her. She hadn't cried for so long. This felt different. Like a whole new reason to cry. He hurried over to her and pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm so sorry we left. You caught us off guard," he said.
"It's not your fault," she said.
"We talked about it in the car. When we came home, we both knew it. We couldn't leave you here for a second longer. She sent me back to get you out of here. Apparently you already had that idea yourself," he said.
He broke the hug and smiled at her.
"Can I take you somewhere?" He asked.
"I don't know where to go. I was gonna go to the nearest hotel for the night and figure something out tomorrow," she said.
"You're renting our guest house," he grinned. "And I'm not taking no for an answer. The rent is cheap and you can stay for as long as you need until you find somewhere else. It comes with a bathroom and a kitchen so you don't even need to talk to us if you don't want to."
"Drew, I can't possibly..." She started.
"400 dollars a month," he said.
"I'll take it," she said.
"I figured," he smirked. "It's small but it'll do until you find somewhere else to live."
He grabbed a couple of her bags and she picked up the others. They walked to his car and put them in the trunk. His phone beeped, and he took it out and read the message.
"It's Dolph. Apparently Baron went there," he chuckled. "And Dolph says he chewed him out and told him what a fucking asshole he is, and then kicked him out and told him to fuck out of his life."
He put his phone away and smiled at her again.
"Don't worry about a thing, Saleisha," he said. "What Baron does only falls on his shoulders. No matter what he might end up doing, it will never be your fault. I doubt he's stupid enough to go through with his threats, but if he does, we all know better. We'll make sure everyone else will know too."
"I don't want him to end up dead," she said.
"Neither do I but no one has the power to stop him if he wants to," he sighed. "This is not about you. It's never been about you. It's about him and some weird power trip, and it fucking ends now. Now let's get the fuck out of here before he comes back. He's smart enough to know we all will follow Dolph's lead and cut him off, so he's gonna try to stop you, and we don't want that to happen."
They got into his car, and they took off down the street.
"I wish I had known sooner," he said.
"No one knew," she said.
"That's so fucked up," he sighed. "You always think you know someone, but we don't ever really truly know anyone. Enough. This is over and done. We're all gonna block the asshole and move on. We will all help you move on. You got us all in your corner, Saleisha. Fuck Baron and all his manipulative tactics. No more. Say it with me, Saleisha. No fucking more!"
They looked at each other and grinned.
"No fucking more!" She yelled.
"That's right!" He yelled too. "Louder!"
"No fucking more!" They both yelled in unison.
They both laughed for a few seconds. She pulled out her phone and blocked Baron before he came home and found her and all her things gone.
"I think I need some therapy," she said.
"That sounds like a good idea," he said. "Don't worry about anything. Get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we're gonna figure out everything. We'll find a therapist and start looking for a place for you. We'll all help you move on and heal from this. You got this, Saleisha."