December in Castle Avarius is no different than any other year. From what can be discerned, monsters don't necessarily celebrate Stump Day as other Mewmans do; it's just another day in December. There's no Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, nothing for them. It's just December, the month that they remember for being irritatingly cold, and, save for those that actually like the cold, they hate it.
Ludo Avarius in particular isn't very fond of the cold. His tiny, feeble body can barely take the frigid winds or the blistering, icy air. The thin layering of mossy green feathers covering his body barely compares to the extravagant plumage of mossy green and forest green worn by his brothers, sisters, and most prominently, his mother. Lord Brudo claims that someday they'll grow in, just to cheer the boy up, but it doesn't really work.
Jade can relate. As a cold-blooded Septarian, she loves nothing more than the hot and humid summer. While everyone else struggles with their Asthma, Jade is soaking in those beautiful rays of sunshine. One day, she spots an infomercial for Snuggles, the backward robe marketed as a blanket, and her eyes light up as she watches the incompetency of the yuppies on TV struggle with their blankets and comically fumble their food. They remind her so much of Ludo that she immediately orders two of them.
Within the next few days, a pair of small Snuggles arrive, one in charcoal gray, and the other in forest green. Jade and Ludo huddle on the couch of the foyer of Castle Avarius in their little Snuggles, warming each other up as Ludo ponders the existence of the things in the first place. He places his finger to his beak, nearly going cross-eyed in contemplation.
Ludo: "I don't get it. How can these guys go and market a backward robe as if it's a new thing?"
Jade rolls her eyes.
Jade: "It's not just a backward robe, Ludo, it's made of fleece, and it's also a blanket."
Ludo: "At least it's warm, and I no longer have to feel like I did when I lived in the mountains by myself, freezing my booty off."
Jade stands in a pleased and prideful manner, with her hands leisurely propped on her hips in satisfaction over the wisdom of her purchase.
Jade: "Exactly. Now we can keep each other's booties warm."
They huddle close together on the couch as a bang can be heard at the door. Ludo raises his brow as he wonders who it could possibly be. Ludo slides off of the couch and onto the floor, descending roughly his own height and landing with a soft thud. He walks over and answers the door to see Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz wearing thick puffer coats, scarves, cotton mittens, and boots. Star flirts a delightful little greeting.
Star: "Hi, Ludo!"
Ludo: "Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz, what a lovely surprise! Do come in. Hurry! it's disastrous out there."
They step in and Marco rubs his arms up and down his jacket as if they were his bare arms, trying to keep warm. Star seems relatively unaffected by the cold, except that her rosy, heart-covered cheeks are even redder than usual. Her mood seems completely unaffected.
Marco: "Disastrous is right. It's no joke out there. I don't get it! California never gets this cold this time of year! At worst, it becomes like a slightly chilly spring day."
Jade remarks from the couch, still sitting there in her blanket robe, looking like a half-melted lizard.
Jade: "Maybe the planet's seasons got all messed up in the merger of the realms, leading to different areas receiving hot spots while others went fully cold."
Marco ponders for a second and raises a finger in agreement.
Marco: "Well, Pennsylvania is experiencing a heat wave right now, so that does make sense."
Ludo: "Enough about the land of the pencils. Is there a particular reason you two ventured out into that wondrous white wasteland just to come to see little old me?"
Marco: "Well, actually, I was just thinking, Star already knows about Christmas, but once she told me monsters don't even celebrate Stump Day, I was kinda bummed out, because you guys basically get nothing this time of year, and that's kinda wrong, so we got you something."
Ludo lights right up, his eyes growing huge.
Ludo: "You guys got us something? That's so lovely! But who is this "Chris Mass" you speak of?"
Star bounces on the ball of her heels, doing little claps as she gets in Marco's face, begging and full of excitement.
Star: "Ooh, Marco! Lemme tell them!"
Marco shrugs.
Marco: "Go right ahead, Star."
Star kneels, wrapping her arm around Ludo as she details the story of "Chris Mass" in a long, drawn-out, hyperactive run-on sentence.
Star: "So, every December 24th, the people of Earth go to sleep all nestled in their beds, and they leave out cookies and milk, and in the middle of the night, a big, fat man comes sliding down the chimney, and he has the biggest, reddest cheeks, and the friendliest smile you ever saw, and he eats the cookies and milk, see, and then leaves you PRESENTS, and it's kind of like a burglar, but in reverse, and then he slides back up the chimney and gets back on his sleigh that's powered by these nine cute little reindeer and they fly with MAGIC, through the air and he laughs a big HO HO HO!"
Star mocks Santa's laugh by imitating a deep and manly voice, holding her hands to her belly, and throwing herself back in a jaunty guffaw. Jade leaps off the couch to come to stand with Ludo and their eyes are both the size of flying saucers as they behold the wealth of information with childlike wonder.
Jade: "A magical reverse burglar? That sounds incredible! You earth humans sure do come up with some wacky things for holidays."
Star folds her arms.
Star: "It's not made up! Santa is REAL! Right, Marco?"
Marco: "Huh? Well, actually..."
He gazes into Star's massive blue, glossy eyes, and then over to Ludo and Jade, whose eyes are just as huge and glossy, and he doesn't have the heart to break it to them.
Marco: "Yeah, of course Santa's real."
Marco doesn't genuinely know if Santa is real or not. He became skeptical the very night he saw his very own parents laying out the presents for their Navidad. Marco cuts back to a time when he was a small lad, standing at the foot of the stairs as his father walks in from the chilly night, muttering "el viento" under his breath as his mother walks in and grabs them off the floor and stuffs them under the tree in the living room.
Marco had, admittedly, experienced a sort of rejuvenation in the wonder of Santa Claus when he met Star and realized that magic was real. He wonders if the merger of the realms and the death of magic has affected him and his ability to deliver presents in any way during the holidays. Star resumes, pulling two presents out of her handbag.
Star: "So anyway, I figured I'd get you two something. Sorry, I didn't get anything for the other 50, or your parents. Really didn't know what to get any of them anyway."
Ludo shrugs with a smile, anticipating his gift.
Ludo: "It's okay, Star, I wouldn't know what to get any of them either."
Star: "So this one's for you, and this is for Jade."
She hands them their presents wrapped in gaudy Christmas paper, each with one of those stick-on bows on the top. Ludo positively ravages his paper while Jade tries to open hers a little more delicately. Ludo looks at his DVD copy of a very short-lived series he remembers from when he was a little kid. He'd spotted it on the television as Lord Brudo lay in his chair, asleep with his head back and drool rolling down his beak.
Ludo: "Wow! Dean Fantabulous' Super Spectacular Variety Show! Now that's what I call nostalgia!"
Jade cocks her head as she looks at Ludo with a raised brow.
Jade: "Dean who's super what?"
Ludo: "Dean Fantabulous was this clown that hosted a variety show about 30 years ago and I saw reruns of it all the time when I was little. It fascinated me, and it became part of the whole reason I like clowns today."
Jade cringes, shivering.
Jade: "Ugh... clowns."
Ludo turns to her, quite perplexed and slightly offended.
Ludo: "What do you mean 'ugh'? You don't like clowns?"
Jade: "I always thought they were creepy and weird."
Ludo: "Clowns are great! They're just these regular guys, and they wear all this grease paint and do all sorts of funny things, like slip and fall face-first into pies, and all this other stuff."
Jade folds her arms.
Jade: "I find that to be a little bit low-brow, to be perfectly honest."
They continue to argue as Star and Marco swing their heads back and forth. After a moment, they interrupt, announcing their departure.
Marco: "Well, it looks like it's time for us to go."
Star looks at her nonexistent watch and does the same.
Star: "Wow! Would you just look at the time? Gotta go! See ya!"
They simultaneously wave.
Ludo and Jade: "Bye."
Ludo turns to Jade, who still hasn't finished opening her gift.
Ludo: "What did you get?"
Jade: "Oh, it's just claw trimmers. I have, like, three pairs of my own, but it's the thought that counts, right?"
Jade shrugs and Ludo smiles.
Ludo: "Yeah."
Jade: "Let's check out that Dean Fantabulous thing. We can watch it and snuggle together on the couch in our Snuggles."
Ludo smirks at her.
Ludo: "I like that idea."
He fires up the DVD and the first thing they both notice is that the show is entirely black and white. The funny thing is, this was an entirely creatively-driven idea, as the show was made in the early 80s, and is considered to be the last great variety show of the time, so it was preserved in elegant grayscale to make it feel as though it was timeless. The show would prove to not be particularly successful, and would only last but a single season, but Ludo didn't care. He loved the show and he loved Dean Fantabulous and that was all that mattered to him.
The first episode opens up with a clown wearing a corduroy jacket and a big, silly nose walking on stage. The clown, long after the audience has stopped applauding, continues to thank the audience.
Dean: "Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you too. Thank you..."
It goes on for several minutes, and Ludo sits there giggling like a baby while Jade just stares at the screen with a stupid look on her face.
Ludo: "See! It's funny because everyone already stopped applauding! See! He's drawn it out for so long that it's gotten awkward and they're laughing again!"
Jade: "Yes, I understand the joke, Ludo."
Ludo looks up at her with a sorry expression on his face.
Ludo: "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself that much."
Jade pulls herself closer to Ludo, nuzzling his face with her snout as she leans on him with a small, fanged smile.
Jade: "Oh, Ludo. You're the only clown in my life. Nobody will ever be funnier to me than you. But you like your clown show, so I'd watch it over and over again just to be with you."
He smiles and nuzzles back into her. Over the course of the show, Dean and various clowns interact with each other and perform skits, clown routines, death-defying acts, and sing musical numbers. It's at this time that Jade realizes just how talented all the men and women involved in the acts are, and how the show was so far ahead of its time for not only being a variety show, but a hodgepodge of sketch comedy, and music as well. As seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, and before she knows it, the whole series had run its course in a single long binge-watch.
It's been nearly twenty years since he saw the show, but he remembered it so fondly. The nostalgia had been fulfilled, and Ludo feels as though he can rest knowing that he can experience it once again with the love of his life. Jade and Ludo kiss, and then fall immediately to sleep on the couch.