Bella
My eyes blink as I recognise voices around me.
Reaching my arms out to stretch, I start upright when my hands unexpectedly come into contact with soft material.
Where am I?
I scrub at my eyes to try and clear the sleep. It takes a moment, but finally I'm able to make out several rails of clothes. Alice's room. Outside the door, I finally process that the voices that had woken me were raised more than I usual. Shouting isn't very common in a vampire household, well, unless you count Emmett.
Why on earth would – I focus, trying to discern each voice – Edward and Carlisle be shouting?
Swinging my legs out of the bed, I have to steady myself slightly. My head is banging and I feel sore and achy. What happe- Oh.
The memories come rushing back to me.
"Oh crap," I mutter, forgetting the ultra-sensitive hearing in the building.
Rubbing my face once more, even though I know it's a fruitless pursuit, I focus on listening.
Maybe Carlisle told him everything and they're planning a way to get rid of me.
No, he promised. I have to at least try and believe him.
I wouldn't hold my breath, why else would they be shouting?
Scowling at myself, I brush away the thoughts and focus.
"Let me past!" Edward practically roars.
"No, she's fine." Carlisle's calm voice is a stark contrast to Edward's mania.
"What are you hiding from me?"
"Don't bother trying to get into my head. As I have already explained, Bella and I are going to keep the revelations between ourselves for now. Maybe in time she will share her thoughts, but you need to prove to her that she can trust you."
Just because he hasn't told him yet doesn't mean I can trust him, this could all be a ruse.
"I've shown her plenty, now get out of the way."
"You need to keep showing her. Regardless of if you want to admit it, you left. You've caused this situation; even if it was unintentional, and you will need to be patient while all parties involved make the transition. I will not let you past. She's had a difficult day and she doesn't need your anxiety adding to that."
"Well I wouldn't know. You won't tell me what happened and you sent Emmett and Rosalie away. How am I meant to put things right if I don't even know what's wrong? I'm always the last to know everything. Why does no one give a damn about how I feel? She's my mate, I have a right to know what is happening and it's not fair for you to keep something like –"
Carlisle cuts him off. "Do you really want to start a discussion about what is right again? You have a choice. Either calm down and wait in the family room, or you can get out of the house. Either way, you are not welcome up here until I invite you personally. Do you understand?"
There's silence. I can imagine Edward's face, staring dumbfounded at him. As far as I am aware, this is the first time Carlisle has ever really stood up to him about anything.
Realising that if I want to see Edward, I have to say something before he leaves.
Terrified about what I'll find outside the room, but knowing that I need to face them sometime, I walk over to the door. Part of me wonders if either of them have realised that I am awake.
My question is answered when Carlisle opens the door with a warm smile. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to wake you." I then see him glance towards Edward. After what must have been a silent conversation, he scowls and walks away. "He's just going downstairs."
"I should follow him," I say, worried about how angry Edward was.
"No, you shouldn't. Let him cool off first." I get the feeling his words are more for Edward than me, but let them slide. "How are you feeling? You look a little brighter having rested for a while."
"I'm ok. I think. Thank you…" I add as an afterthought. "For, well, you know..."
His arms wrap around my shoulders and I relax into his embrace. "Any time, and I mean that. We can go for a drive any time." Leaning down slightly, he whispers in my ear, "Though be careful calling at midnight, you might wake Esme up."
I can't help but snort at his terrible joke.
"I'll be careful." My face turns serious again. "What did you, I mean what does he…"
"I'm not said anything, just that you've had a stressful afternoon. I've also instructed Edward not to snoop. Don't worry about him. One day he'll realise I'm the parent, and sometimes kids just don't need to know everything."
He winks at me and takes my arm, leading me down to the kitchen. Some of the doors on the way down are, unusually, closed; not wanting to stir up problems, I don't comment.
I'm guided to a stool at the breakfast bar. "Anything you especially fancy?"
"Not really, I'm kinda full from the cereal earlier…" I trail off at his disapproving face. "Umm, something small."
He doesn't look any more impressed by my lack of a straight response and my lack of enthusiasm, but pulls out a carton of eggs, bread and a frying pan. I have a strange feeling that at some point in the near future, I'm going to be having another conversation with Dr. Cullen, only this time about eating.
I sit in silence thinking about our discussion from earlier and how he kept his promise. It shouldn't have surprised me so much. Maybe I'm just too used to everyone else deciding what's best for me and ignoring my personal opinions.
The worst part is that because he kept his promise, I'm going to have to keep mine too.
Distracted by my thoughts, I jump when a plate slides in front of me. There's scrambled eggs and toast. Something simple and light, just like I asked.
I hadn't been lying when I said I didn't have much of an appetite. But then, I suppose I haven't really had an appetite for months now, so that doesn't mean much.
Looking up, I realise that Carlisle has turned his back to me and is washing the dishes at a slow human speed.
He's trying to make me feel comfortable by not watching.
Appreciating the gesture, I start to pick at the food in front of me. It wasn't that it tasted bad- in fact the opposite, Carlisle is apparently a surprisingly good cook- it's that anything I eat tastes like dirt.
I've barely managed to choke down half before he turns back around.
A few bites later and I'm pushing the plate away. Although he doesn't comment, I know that conversation is going to be coming sooner than initially planned.
"What would you like to do?" he asks sitting down next to me after only a moment.
"I think Edward is going to break the door down if we don't let him in soon," I say commenting on the heavier than normal footfalls nearby. If I wasn't so stressed, I would have laughed at his toddler-like tantrum.
With an exasperated sigh, he replies, "Please take notice that I said you. I don't want to know what you think others want." There's a growl nearby. "Son, you aren't helping yourself. It's up to Bella what she wants to do, she's a grown woman." Under his breath I'm sure I hear something that sounds like "unlike some people in this house".
Looking down at my hands, I contemplate my options. I could delay the meeting for a while. It would give me time to think about what I want to tell him, if anything. Maybe I can head Carlisle off too, sweep the whole situation under the rug.
No, that would never happen and it would just be delaying the inevitable.
"I'm alright, I think I'm going to hang here like we planned. Charlie is off fishing so there's no one at home anyway."
He notices me picking at the sleeves of Edwards hoodie because he takes my hands in his. "Wait here, I'll go get him."
I don't look up as he moves silently out of the room.
Will Edward push me to tell him? Will he be paying more attention to everything? Will he notice something is wrong? Will someone in the family slip up and tell him about my breakdown earlier? Will he be angry that I'm keeping secrets? Will he leave again?
As I feel my breathing start to increase, I'm nearly crushed into a stone cold chest. The familiar scent calms me slightly.
Being in his arms feels like home, but I can't allow myself to enjoy it. I can't use him like that. I can't refuse to tell him things and then expect his comfort. It isn't fair on him. "I'm sorry," I whimper, trying to pull away.
"No, don't go. I don't know what's going on, but I'm not leaving. Not now. Not ever."
When he still doesn't release me, I scrunch my eyes closed and try to relax my body. It isn't hard. Apparently my body recognises him as a safe space more than my mind does.
My arms move to wrap around his torso and I allow myself to relax into the embrace.
"I'll be in my office sorting some paperwork. It's not important, so feel free to come in any time." Carlisle says squeezing my shoulder and then walking away.
We stay wrapped in each other's arms for a minute longer.
"So," Edward says with a false happiness, "what's the plan for this evening?"
"Evening?!" I squeak.
"Yes, you slept most of the day. We can do something for a few hours if you want. If you want to go home, that's alright too."
"No, I'm not sleepy. Can we play that game Alice brought the other day?" She had been peppering me with games recently. They were enjoying Edward being on a level playing field by making the most of my silent mind.
"Really? It looks ridiculous."
"That's the idea! Come on, it'll be fun. Besides, I refuse to play against you with others around. We know how much you cheat." I tap him on the head with a smile and bounce down from the stool.
It only takes seconds for us to dig out everything we need. Headbanz is something I had played many times as a kid, but hadn't played seriously as an adult. I insisted that Edward tie a cloth around his eyes. With his vision, he could probably make out his card from a puddle outside!
"Am I alive?" he asks looking rather stupid with a card on his head and blindfold.
"Not technically. Am I purple?"
"What sort of question is that?" he laughs, "You are sometimes purple, but it's rare."
Our questions go back and forth for some time. Most of them were serious like am I a person, am I an animal with fur, but others were clearly only asked for comedic purposes why Edward wanted to know if he was sticky, I do not know.
I had a feeling Edward knew exactly what is card was, he was just enjoying my relaxed attitude. When I finally asked, "Am I a car?" he laughed and replied with "Yes you are. I'm an apple aren't I?"
"I knew you got it ages ago! It's still cheating if you're letting the other person win." I can't help but mock-sulk slightly.
"Awe, don't be sad. I had an unfair advantage. You asked the same question a few times."
I smile and laugh as he scoops me up and spins me around.
"I've missed this," I say, cuddling close.
"Me too." Just as the mood is starting to turn sombre, he changes the subject. "So, now we have learnt who is the superior head-band-guesser, how about you join me at the piano?"
"That would be nice. Will you play my lullaby?"
"I will play anything you'd like me to play, Love." I freeze at the pet name. Even though I'm sure he realised it, I was incredibly thankful that he didn't question me. I needed a normal evening.
Sometime later, as I'm starting to doze off from the peaceful music, I notice that nearly everyone has congregated.
I stare at them shocked. How could they all come in without me noticing? When a foreign calmness fills me, I remember… Vampires.
The two missing figures are prominent.
"They're hunting in Canada. Well, they say they're hunting, I'm just glad they aren't doing it here. Far too much lust." Jasper says without looking up from his book.
"Emmett left a message for you though," Carlisle adds, "I'll go and grab it."
Not even a second later, he's back in front of me holding a torn sheet of paper. Unfolding it carefully, I read…
Hey lil sis,
Sorry I couldn't see you before you left. Jasper messaged to say they were coming back and we wanted to be gone before Eddie the emo caught us. I know you're thinking that we probably left because of you, well, no. We were planning a long hunt anyway, so don't you dare feel bad.
I don't know what's going on, but we really do care about you and I hope you're here when we get back. We can keep the nosey idiot out of our heads, so you tell him in your own time.
Keep my promise safe. We all love you.
Emmett
At the bottom, in a handwriting I don't recognise, it says:
You're not alone. I've been there. Isolating yourself from those who care won't help anyone. Think about it. – R.
Rosalie? Why isn't she telling me to get out of her house?
Realising that I do not have the energy tonight to try and understand Rosalie's words, I tap my pocket to check that the small band is safe. Mentally, I affirm my promise to Emmett.
"You can keep using our bed," Alice says when I start yawning. "I left clean clothes out for you."
With a muttered thanks, I scamper, rather uncoordinatedly, upstairs.
Edward doesn't follow.
What does that mean? Is he expecting me to call him up? Do I even want to call him up? Will he be angry, or worse disappointed if I don't call him up? Is there even a possibility of sleeping without him?
My mind reels as I shrug on some clothes to sleep in. I put Edwards hoodie back on over the top. Thankfully the pants are long, even if the top is only a cami.
As I curl into bed, I feel a sudden wave of lethargy and calmness. I can barely mumble, "Screw you, Jasper," before I'm out.