Act II

It was shortly after the fateful day that Lynn Loud had been relentlessly bullied and victimised during her introduction to middle school. With her confidence and self-esteem at an all time low, she was laying low socially for a little while. She was still wearing her grey hoodie when going outside, usually trying to prevent drawing attention to herself. She lacked the outgoing bravado that she had beforehand as a result of being treated so harshly by her school peers.

However, whenever she did go out at that time, she wasn't going to her regular sports clubs or to hang out with Margo and her other usual friends. Instead, she was sneaking off to a private building located in the outer, less populated parts of town. She was seeking a certain kind of help from someone regarding her bullying situation...

She was in a room with a punching bag. Wearing some gloves, she was really hammering away at the thing, letting out some of her suppressed rage and anger with every strike. Her 'friend' was watching her pound away with venomous intent and impressive power. He let out a small smirk of satisfaction as he witnessed her display of skill and strength. He saw her as someone who had both the might to stand up to the world... and the will and desire to actually go for it.

After she was done letting out her rage, a sweaty Lynn took off her gloves and walked over to the young man, who had a few 'words of encouragement' to give her. "You have a lot of potential, Lynn. I knew you were the kind of person I wanted by my side as soon as I saw you."

"Thanks." she replied.

"I want you to listen to me. You've learned the unfortunate reality of life. People might criticise you for taking your competitive nature too far, but what they don't understand is that life itself is a competition." he then knelt down and began to explain to her, placing his hand on her shoulder as he tried to influence her mind. "You spend far too much time focusing on sporty pursuits and other forms of competitive activity that are ultimately insignificant. You need to show the world that you are the best in ways that actually matter. You have the strength and the will to make it happen. You just need somebody to guide you in the right direction... somebody like me." he told her.

Lynn then slowly strolled towards the corner of the room, placing her hands in her pockets, sporting an unsure expression on her face. "But... is it really right to just be a jerk to everybody? I mean, I know there's standing up for yourself and making sure people don't step on you, that's all good... but the way you talk, it sounds like you want to just go around hurting people for the heck of it."

The man then simply smiled before replying. "Lynn, for years, I tried to fit in with all those excluding little scumpiles, then I tried ignoring them, and then I..." he paused mid-sentence, before thinking of how best to word his message and continuing. "It doesn't matter. The point is, I learned a long time ago that if the world refuses to love and accept you, and instead treat you like trash, then you have two choices. You can either keep to yourself, let everyone look down on you, and live a very lonely and mediocre life... or you can make them know who is dominant. You can take steps to ensure that everyone knows who the alpha is, who is truly number one. You are superior to those jerks, Lynn. Make sure they don't forget who they're all dealing with." he told her in an encouraging and even endearing manner... so much so that Lynn took his words to heart, despite how toxic they actually were.

Lynn finished remembering her past as she sat down on the sofa and explained herself to the production crew. With the camera filming, she did her best to articulate her thoughts. "After I was bullied at middle school, it wasn't as simple as me just changing overnight. I've told my brother and a couple of others the story about how that first day made me into what I am... but it's not the full story. Not long after I had my self-esteem crushed, I ran into someone who gave me back all my confidence... and then some. Probably too much."

"How so?" Joey asked.

"Well, there was this guy who told me all this stuff, like 'the competition of life', the idea that life is just a case of dominating everyone around you and commanding fear and respect as a form of protection and gaining power." Lynn began to explain. "He told me that I have to make everyone around me know that I'm not someone to be messed with. He tried to teach me that I need to be dominant if I'm going to get people to love or respect me, and I took his lessons to heart. I guess I took it a little too far, though..." she self-reflectively stated. "His lessons were too extreme. I shouldn't have listened to him. I walked away from him in the end... but he'd already left his mark on me by then."

"Well, now I know where she got her middle school mentality from." Lincoln quietly remarked.

"If any of my friends or fellow students end up watching this, I just wanna say... I'm sorry I've been a jerk. I know I can come across as a big, aggressive meanie at school..."

"And at home." Lola added.

"And whenever we go out, for that matter." Luan followed.

"Quiet, ladies!" Katie instructed.

"But I never meant to hurt anybody, not really." she said as she did her best to hold back tears. "I... I've being going through some stuff for a long time, okay? This guy messed with my head, made me think all sorts of crazy stuff! But I'm working on it. It's happening, slowly, but I am changing my attitude. Though I expect a few screw-ups and setbacks along the way." Lynn insisted to the camera, hopeful that an audience would one day witness her apology. "But even so, I'm sorry. Believe me, I am trying."

"Just when I think I really understand Lynn and what she's been through, I keep finding out there's more to it." Lincoln said to Luna.

"It's pretty clear she's going down a rough road, brah." Luna replied. "I guess we'll just have to be patient with her."

"Okay, let's take a coffee break. We'll resume filming in five." Joey said as everyone took a moment to relax.

Emily, one of the production crew members, decided to sit down on the couch and relish in the temporary quietness. Unfortunately for her, this didn't go as planned. As soon as she sat down, she made a sound of flatulence. Though it wasn't really her, as she quickly discovered a whoopie cushion had been placed beneath where she sat.

"Ugh! What's this?!" she questioned.

"Sorry, but that joke was just bursting to come out. Ha ha ha ha ha!" Luan joked as she admitted it was her doing. "Get it?"

As Emily sighed to herself in annoyance, she then looked over to see two of the sisters arguing.

"It should be my turn next!" Lisa insisted.

"Nuh-uh! I should go next!" Lana argued as she then reached into her pocket and pulled out a ball of mud.

She then threw it at her little sister, but Lisa reacted fast enough to duck underneath the mud ball. It then landed right in Emily's face.

"Grugh!" she then yelled to herself in frustration.

And as that was going on, Lincoln spoke to Luna just to the left of the sofa about what she had said earlier...

"I had no idea you were that worried about your relationship with Sam." he said.

"I don't like to make a big deal out of it, brah. Honestly, I'm probably stressing about nothing. Anyway, I think while the filming's stopped, I'm just gonna jam for a few minutes to clear my mind." Luna said as she grabbed her guitar and speaker and suddenly started blasting loud, booming music in Emily's direction, with it actually being forceful enough to knock the poor woman to the ground.

"Oof! Dang those obnoxious Louds! I'll never get any peace and quiet as long as they're around." she quietly mumbled to herself.

"Okay, so have you kids decided who's going next?" Joey asked once the break was over.

"Yeah, I am!" Lana said as she rushed over and sat on the sofa.

"So, Lana... what's going on with your life?" Joey asked her.

"Nothing much. I mean, when I'm not at school, I'm usually either playing in the mud with my friends, spending time with animals, searching through dumpsters, playing trash themed video games, or wrestling alligators." she said. "Oh, and sometimes I fix cars, too."

"Well, that's a pretty colourful list of interests and hobbies that you've got there. So it would seem you really like to get dirty, whether it be rolling around in trash or covering yourself with dirt. Don't you ever worry about your health, though?"

"What do you mean?" Lana innocently asked him, not sure of what he was referring to.

"It's just that anyone with such a severe lack of concern for their own personal hygiene is always at risk of contracting a lot of potentially harmful illnesses. Tinea pedis, chronic diarrhea, lymphatic filariasis, pinworms, just to name a few..." Joey stated.

"Pinworms? What have you got against worms?" the misunderstood Lana then said back.

"The points is, don't you think you should be a little more concerned for your physical well being? I know you're a young kid with probably a very strong immune system, but it can only cope with so much. You do know that?"

Lana became increasingly worried the more the man continued stating the dangers that poor hygienic care carried. "I just like getting dirty. People say I'm a child of nature." she defensively put it.

"You can put it as innocently as you want, but the fact is that if you continue to live that way, you might end up with all kinds of horrible problems in the future." Joey then harshly claimed, causing small tears to form in the little girl's eyes.

With the whole family a little uneasy about the way he was scaring their sister and daughter, one of them finally decided to speak up...

"Hey! That's enough!" Lincoln shouted.

"Quiet!" Katie told him off.

"No! I know you said you wanted to get to know more about us and our flaws, but now you're just trying to scare her! Seriously, just leave her alone!" he told Joey as he pointed at his little sister's teary face. "Just wrap it up already. Why are you so interested in digging up all our personal faults, anyway?"

"Because that's the juicy stuff that makes the show interesting, kid. Viewers don't just want to watch a bunch of saints rambling on about their perfect lives. They want to see that the people they watch on TV are flawed, deep, multi-layered human beings just like themselves. That's why we dive into this stuff." Joey explained.

"Well, maybe don't dive too deep next time." Lincoln said, before turning his attention back towards his sister. "Are you okay, Lana?" he asked her.

"I'm fine. Thanks, Lincoln. Don't worry, I'm okay to finish filming."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's cool."

After Lana finished her segment, Luan decided to sit down in front of the cameras next...

"So, I know you said you want more 'deep' stuff, but still. Do you want me to tell some jokes to spice up the show?" she asked.

"Erm, no, that's fi..." Joey tried to respond, but was cut off.

"I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something." she said before chuckling to herself.

"Luan, if we could just..." Joey tried to speak again, but to no avail.

"Waking up this morning was a real eye-opening experience." she then continued, earning sighs from both the production team and her siblings.

"I'd make a pun about the wind but I'm afraid it'll blow." she then told them, forcing Katie to finally speak up and tell her off.

"That's enough! Please stick to the relevant topics that Joey decides to give you."

"Thank you, Katie. Now Luan, I know you like to laugh at the world and see the funny side in everything, but I think there must be another, more serious side to you." Joey suggested.

"Eh." Luan indifferently replied.

"Well, one thing I've heard about is your annual tendency to commit far more malicious and elaborate pranks on the rest of your family when April Fools Day rolls around."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, it's just that it seems a little weird that a fun loving comedian who likes bringing joy and happiness to everyone's lives would suddenly turn into a monstrous version of Home Alone on April the 1st. If you've ever thought about sharing with everybody why you do that, now is your chance to open up." Joey encouraged her.

"I don't know..." she replied as she awkwardly rubbed her arm. "It's just something I do. I guess I've never really given it much thought."

"Or maybe you have... but you don't want to face the reasons why." Timmy then chipped in.

"Well, maybe those who always laugh and put a smile on their face aren't really the happiest people in the world. Maybe it's all just for show, you know?!" she defensively argued.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Joey asked. "Come on, feel free to tell us whatever is on your mind." he continued to egg her on.

"I mean... I guess I have something wrong with me. I can't seem to take anything seriously. Like when I went to work at Burpin' Burger with my boyfriend, Benny. He was risking a lot getting me that job when it was clear the manager didn't think I was cut out for it, and to repay his kind gesture, I didn't work hard to prove myself a valuable employee and make Benny look good... I just goofed around and made us both look like a couple of clowns! All because I was incapable of really committing myself to doing something that didn't revolve around joking or pranking people!"

"I fail to see what relevance this has to my question about your April Fools Day pranks." Joey pointed out.

"I'm saying that maybe all my joking around and pranking people is my way of coping with the fact that..." she then paused as she sighed heavily, before continuing with "...I'm kinda screwed up. There, I said it!"

"In what regard?" Katie asked.

"I can't take anything seriously... or maybe, I just don't want to take anything seriously! I guess that's because clowning around is my coping mechanism! I mean, I take Funny Business kind of seriously despite the fact that it is literally supposed to be about being 'funny', hence the name! But it's kind of crazy, isn't it, that being funny is the only I CAN take seriously!? It's the same with April Fools, what I do at that time of year is a mix of me finally committing to taking something seriously because it's one of the only times I actually can apply any serious thought to anything... and it's also a way of me taking out my frustrations. *Sigh* And at the people who deserve it the least, too." she admitted with a guilty vocal tone.

Joey smiled as he knew he had got the little prankster to open up in a way she was clearly uncomfortable with, but to him, it was juicy information. "Go on." he encouraged her further.

Luan, now with tears in her eyes, turned to her family and told them "I'm sorry. The reason I do what I do is because I don't know how to deal with my own problems, and I take it out on you guys. It's not fair and I shouldn't have done those things to you!" She then turned back to Joey and said "There you go, that's what you wanted to hear, right?! All the stuff that's wrong with us?! Well, I have plenty of baggage! I'm an insecure, socially awkward teenage girl who shuts away all her serious thoughts and feelings because it's just easier for her to deal with her life that way, by laughing at everything and pretending that nothing matters! I like to make life feel like a big joke because maybe that's all I am! There, are you happy?! Is that what you want?!"

"Wow, that's quite a lot to take in." Lincoln remarked to the rest of the family.

Luna then spoke up on behalf of her roommate and sister. "Okay, look dude, first Lana and now Luan? I get you want some juicy stuff about us for your show, but you can't emotionally screw with us like this, dude!"

"Yeah!" the twins shouted.

"Luna's right!" Lincoln said. "There's no reason for this. Surely you can get your juicy TV footage without putting us all through the ringer like this!"

"Okay, okay, we're sorry. We shouldn't have let her get that upset." Joey said.

"Yeah, we apologise for that. Here, let me help you calm down. I'll get you a glass of water." Timmy kindly offered Luan as he lured her out of the room and into the kitchen.

The rest of the family then stared at the production team with angry, stern looks on their faces. Without the need for any further words, it was clear they were not okay with the way they had just mentally toyed with their daughter and sister.

"Alright, I get it. I'll try to tone down all the deep, emotional stuff. We'll just play it straight from here. We've got a tight schedule, anyway, so let's just get this over with. How about you come up next, kid?" Joey then said to Leni.

And so, Leni was next to sit in front of the camera, but she decided to share her screentime. "Before we get started, I felt it just wouldn't be right to leave her out of this, so I started a video chat with my sister Lori... and she's here to join us!" she excitedly announced as she placed her tablet on a tripod and had Lori on the screen facing the camera alongside her.

"This is literally the most exciting thing that has ever happened! I was stunned when Leni told me that our family was going to be on TV!"

"I'm glad you're excited, Lori. I take it your the oldest of this sibling collective, hence why you're now at the age where you've flown the nest and moved to bigger places?" Joey asked her.

"Oh, that's me. The oldest sibling out of eleven. Let me tell you, things weren't always easy being the responsible one in the house." she light-heartedly explained.

"I imagine not. Did your sisters and brother look up to you like a role model of sorts?"

"Oh, well..." Lori blushed as she recalled the time when she made her siblings line up in front of her while she was dressed as a military officer.

"At ease! JUST KIDDING! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means, you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word 'sit'."

"Let's just say that being the oldest put a bit of a... um, strain on our relationship. I mean, I care a lot about my siblings, but being a second mom to them wasn't easy. Whenever mom and dad went out and left me in charge, because of course they needed a break themselves sometimes, it was always up to me to be the drill sergeant who kept them in line. Of course... this made them see me as a bit of an overdomineering buzzkill."

"Lori, nobody thought you were that. Right guys?" Leni then turned and asked her younger siblings, who all awkwardly grinned insincerely and tried to pretend to agree with her and give them a thumbs up, but it was clear that they were lying.

Lori then sighed before saying "It's okay, Leni, I get it. Besides, I'm willing to admit that all that controlling and being in charge did get to my head a little. I know I used to be a bit of a snob to you guys." she then admitted as she recalled some of her smug superior attitude that she used to display.

"Yeah, like the times you used to say 'well, I was born first'." Lola then jokingly mentioned, causing her siblings, and even Lori herself, to chuckle.

"Yeah, I know I was hard on you guys, but it was only because I was struggling with the responsibility of making sure this house didn't literally burn to the ground when mom and dad were out." Lori joked. "Still, sometimes I wish I could have been a cooler big sis to all of you." she then revealed as her voice softened and she demonstrated an element of regretful sadness in her exterior.

"But Lori, we DO think you're a cool big sis! Besides, I'm starting to realise how tough you had it! It's not been easy for me being the oldest sister since you moved out. If it wasn't for my training through dealing with harsh customers at Reininger's, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I still can't believe you pulled it off so well for 17 years."

"Yeah, besides, you've softened up on us since moving away. You're way nicer to us now than you were a couple of years ago." Lincoln claimed.

"Thanks. I guess you guys growing up and me moving to Fairway meant a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now I can be just your sister rather than your drill sergeant since I don't have the responsibility of babysitting you all anymore." she replied. "I'm sorry if I was a jerk to you guys before. I didn't want to be, I just felt like I had no choice."

"It's okay, Lori. We get it. We know how crazy we can get sometimes." Lincoln reassured her.

"And what about you, Leni? Now that you're the oldest, how do you handle the responsibility?" Joey then asked.

"Well, I think I'm doing okay at taking care of the others in Lori's absence."

"Totally, Leni. I mean, you felt a little unsure in your abilities at first, but in time you learned how to keep things under control." Lori assured her.

"And why wouldn't she be able to? After all, we've heard some other pretty incredible things about you, Leni Loud. Like the fact that you almost became the youngest ever mayor in Michigan when you ran against Mayor Davis not too long ago for the position in Royal Woods. Or maybe even more impressive, the time you won a hundred grand in the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest." Joey then brought up.

"That was totes one of the best days of my life! I've never won anything big like that before!" she excitedly remembered. "But it was even nicer to help a little boy out when he needed it." she then stated as she was reminded of the stakes that surrounded the whole situation.

"Yes, I remember... erm, hearing about it." Timmy interjected. "You were paired up with a kid named Dexter, weren't you? His family were in financial trouble and that prize money helped them get things together again."

"Well, there you have it." Joey said. "That Dexter kid was not having a good time before the quest, but then you helped him sort things out. No biggie."

"No biggie? I mean, he wasn't that big, though he was a little wide around the waist, if you know what I mean." a confused Leni replied, completely misinterpreting Joey's words.

As everyone around her facepalmed and sighed, Lori politely informed her "Leni. He meant 'no biggie' as in 'no problem'."

Leni realised everyone was unimpressed with her misinterpretation and developed a sad expression on her face. "See, that's the thing. You all think I'm too dumb to notice, but I know what everyone thinks of me."

"What do you mean?" Luna asked.

"I notice all those sighs and looks you guys give me when I say something that sounds stupid. I know you all think I'm a total idiot!" she sadly admitted as tears formed in her eyes. "Don't deny it! I know I'm stupid!"

"Nobody thinks that!" Lincoln argued.

"Please, don't try to spare my feelings. I'd rather you were all just honest with me." she sadly stated.

Seeing this was a moment where emotional support was required, Lori then placed her hand on her younger sister's shoulder and told her "Leni, no one thinks you're dumb. Maybe you can be a little, erm, slow on the uptake sometimes, but you have kinds of intelligence that none of us have."

"Yeah, dude! Your social skills are top notch." Luna said.

"And your keen eye for fashion is unrivalled in Royal Woods!" Lola followed.

"And let's not forget that winning the quest took a whole lot of talent, effort, and smarts." Lincoln continued.

Leni smiled in appreciation of her siblings giving her the praise she needed. "Thanks, guys. That means a lot."

A slightly irritated Joey then spoke up. "Okay, okay! All this teary, fuzzy-feely stuff is getting in the way! Let's start wrapping this up. Pointexter, why don't you come up here next? I'm sure there's lots to talk about. Also, why not bring the baby on with you, we'll get the two of you done at once. Then we'll finish off with the boy. Come on, let's get this done!" he then said to Lisa and Lily.

It appeared the production crew leader was in a hurry to conclude his business with the Louds. But what would the remaining siblings have to say?

Author's Footnote:

So, one more chapter left. I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. Let me know your thoughts, and so on...

Expect the next chapter within the next week at some point. Whenever I get round to finishing it, I guess.

By the way, still feel free to check out my DeviantArt page (JustSomeOrdinaryDude) if you're interesting in taking a look at my December countdown of my top 25 favourite movies.