Bella

To my surprise, on the doorstep sits an exceptionally anxious Jacob. Surely he'd be out joining the hunt? How could he be here doing nothing?

Charlie and I clamber out of the truck, into the murky, but thankfully still dry, weather. He goes off to where a group of people were crowded around a map and I go over to Jacob.

Since leaving him to go after Edward, things have been awkward, but I do my best to put it behind me. His stricken face is enough to tell me that I'm needed right now.

I sit down next to him on the steps and place a hand on his knee. With a start, he looks up, straight into my eyes. They're bright red and glassy from crying. I wrap my arm around his shoulder and hold him close.

The steps are uncomfortable to sit on and the angle starts to ache my back.

We're there for several minutes before he finally pulls away, wiping snot from his face.

"I'm sorry," he mutters looking around again. "I don't know what to do."

Placing my hand over his giant one, I try to think of something to say. "Have you eaten?" I ask. The wolves were always devouring food and I know that they get irritable when they've not been fed.

He just shakes his head, going slightly green. "I can't eat. I can't do anything. I want to be out there looking, helping. I should be out there, not sitting here." His voice is getting louder towards the end and a few of the people from the map group look over to us in worry.

I send them a small smile showing that I've got a handle on it, and they go back to their map.

"Why aren't you out there?" I ask in curiosity.

"Sam wouldn't let me." He groans and puts his head in his hands. "The pack did an initial search earlier, but when nothing came up and the rest of the village realised, we couldn't search in wolf form anymore. And, well, I'm finding it hard to retain control over my anger."

It does make sense, but I can also understand his frustration at the situation.

"I just don't understand. There was a small scent trail leading down the drive, but it just fades into nothing. We think he got in a car. But obviously, we can't tell the town people that we can smell him, so they're just wasting their time researching everything when we've already done it."

He starts to tremble and I worry that he's going to change. Removing my hand, I stand up and move away. My movements cause him to startle and then relax slightly as he becomes aware of the situation once again.

He gives me a wry smile, "Sorry, I did say."

I don't return to him, instead leaning against the barrier. "Do you have any idea where he might have gone? Why he might have left?"

"No," he practically growls, "Everything was normal, there's no note, nothing. Obviously he didn't drive away from here, but his chair squeaks so much that I'm sure I would have heard him if I were still awake. So it must have been late, or early."

"Is there no CCTV they could check?"

"Everything we've got has been checked. Either it was very unfortunate or he was avoiding the cameras. Either way, there's nothing on there."

I look down at the boy I'd once seen as one of my closest friends, but now is becoming more and more distant by the day.

Realising there isn't anything helpful I can do, and my questions are just winding Jake up, I pat his shoulder and head inside.

There's no one in the house, so I take the opportunity to send a quick message off to Alice.

Sorry for hanging up. At the Res. Billy has gone missing. Anything you can do to help?

Placing the phone down on the side, I dig through the cupboards looking for food. There isn't much, but there are lots of beans, potatoes and various sauces. So, I get started on a large pot of some kind of stew concoction. It may not be the best, but it would keep hungry people going for a while.

As I'm peeling and chopping up some limp but still usable carrots, the phone buzzes with an incoming call from Alice. Dropping everything, being extra careful with the knife, I place the phone to my ear.

"I was so worried!" she screeches down the phone. "Suddenly your future just disappears and you hang up on me. Do you have any idea what I thought?" There's another voice in the background and I hear Alice huff. "Carlisle wants to speak to you."

There's a moment of silence as I imagine Alice handing the phone over then Carlisle speaks. "Bella?"

"Hi Carlisle," I say. "Sorry to have scared Alice. It's all been a bit crazy."

"I thought there would have been a logical explanation, but, well, you know Alice. What I was phoning for is to find out some more information about Billy. Is there anything?"

"No, nothing as of yet. The wolves think he got in a car near home, but other than that there's nothing. Or, that's all I know anyway."

"I've sent Jasper out searching with Edward, but I'm not sure if they're going to find anything. If we find anything, I will let you know immediately. Please wish everyone my best."

"I will do, thanks for trying." Although I know that Carlisle doesn't see the wolves as the enemy, the same can't be said for the others, Jasper in particular. The end tone rings and I return to my cooking.

It had been the right thing to do. Over the next hour or so, many hungry searchers have come through the kitchen, following their noses, on the way to get further instruction about the search. I can see the increasing worry on everyone's faces as it gets steadily later and there is still no sign of Billy.

Eventually, I've run out of food to prepare and I go out to help coordinate the search.

Jacob is still pacing back and forth on the driveway, mind lost in thought. No one can think of anything to say that will help him, and no one bothers trying either.

It's nearing dinner time when Jacob finally makes the call he's been dreading to Rachael and Rebecca. Neither has been told about Billy's disappearance thus far, everyone having hoped it would be a simple matter of finding him close to home.

He sobs through the entire phone call until, having sympathy on both Jacob for having to share the news and the poor girls trying to interpret his mewling, my dad takes the phone and completes the story. Both insist on coming down immediately, even though they know there's nothing more they can do to help.

I wonder if their presence will be of any help; after all, they still think the legends are just that - legends - and it'll be someone else for the wolves to avoid.

As the sun starts to set, with still no news, Jacob is dragged by Sam and Embry back to Emily's house. It's one of the few places where we won't be seen. It's far enough away from the woods and that area has already been checked anyway, but the pack are around to keep an eye on Jacob.

Everyone is getting tired from the day hiking through the woods. With the sun no longer helping, the efforts aren't proving to be fruitful and I know that they're simply wasting energy.

At around ten Charlie comes back, covered in mud and pale, and I take him home for the night. He'd wanted to stay and help the others, but as I'd said, there was nothing he could do in that state and there isn't a spare bed around. Many of the searchers had crashed out on couches, wanting to be close in case of any news.

It wasn't until I said that Charlie could use the cell I'd been given to keep in contact that he agreed. I'd found the number and written it down for anyone to contact as needed. I'd also sent a message off to Alice, warning her that Charlie had the phone for a while.

I know they won't be happy, but it's my decision and I felt that his need was greater.

Around an hour later, we're driving back down the main road towards Forks. Even as we're driving, I can see Charlie looking around, desperately trying to spot something that might have been missed. I long to tell him about the suspected car drive, but without a good cover story, it's not worth exposing the wolves. He might even take it the wrong way and think that I know more because I'd spoken to the kidnapper.

When we finally arrive home, Charlie drags himself as far as his chair before he crashes out. Even now I can tell that his sleep is going to be fitful, worried about his best friend.

Slowly, I climb the stairs to my bedroom. I pause in the doorway, my heart sinking when I see the empty room. Too much space, too much to think about.

Moving further in, I let myself crash out on the bed, still wearing my clothes from the day, and pull one of my pillows into my chest.

With everything that has happened, I haven't had a chance to truly process the revelations with Carlisle and all that might entail. It's a relief to not have to keep everything hidden anymore, but I've also broken the promise I'd made to myself not to let them in.

Despite what they said, leaving just like last time is far too much of a possibility.

As I sit up again, my head starts to spin, and I vaguely realise that after having fed everyone else, I hadn't stopped to eat myself. My lack of appetite has caused many problems, and I'm just glad that Charlie hasn't seen me stumbling; he doesn't need anything else to worry about.

Dragging myself off the bed and once again back down the stairs, I walk past Charlie. He's still huddled on the chair in his muddy clothes. Briefly, I consider waking him, but it won't help. If he's sleeping, sleeping is better for him. I can always clean the chair tomorrow.

In the kitchen, I pour myself a small bowl of cereal and start to pick at it without adding milk.

The small sugary pieces feel like cardboard in my mouth and I resist the urge to spit them into the sink. It's not that I don't want to eat, everything just tastes so foul. I hate the way it makes people worry and pass those horrible stares, the looks as though they see something is wrong but it's not their job to bring it up.

When I finally manage to choke down half of the already small bowl, I decide that's enough for the evening. Besides, there's no one watching, so who really cares?

I spend a while cleaning the kitchen up from Charlie's abandoned breakfast this morning, and throw on another load of laundry before heading back upstairs to work through my evening routine.

I've barely changed into my pyjamas and brushed my teeth when I hear Charlie moving around downstairs. Closing the door, hoping that he'll think I'm asleep, I lay on the bed and stare up at the ceiling.

Charlie stomps around downstairs, apparently taking his boots off and trying not to fall over from the sounds of it, then trundles upstairs and slams his bedroom door.

As I lay there, unable to sleep, I contemplate what to do. In life, I've always tried to have some form of goal to work towards, something to do, but recently I know I've just been drifting.

No matter how much I think about it, there is no drive or desire to achieve anything. I don't really care about graduating, nor aiming towards a job or college. In this state, what job or college will take me anyway. Part of me really wishes I don't have to think about the future. No need to make plans. No future… but, the world continues turning for no man.

I grab a notebook off the side of my bed and write out the next twelve months then a few years. On the plan, I write down everything that is going to happen, no matter what I do about it. Graduation, holidays. Then I make a list of everything I need to do in preparation for those holidays, first on the list being to catch up at school.

The list slowly grows, and grows, until wet droplets start appearing on the page. How had I let life get so out of control? So behind? How am I ever going to catch up on it all? Especially when I don't really want to catch up in the first place.

Edward would be disappointed.

My mental commentary is right, if I flunk out now, I'd be the laughing stock of his family. The stupid human girl who can't even pass school, something that even idiots like Mike manage to do.

At the top of the page, in big letters, I write EDWARD. That, for now, can be my reason to continue. If he leaves again, what does it really matter? I've had a few good weeks, hopefully months. After that I can just fizzle off into the background.

Right now, I'm once again the shiny new toy that everyone is taking notice of with the Cullens, but give it a while and they won't notice me anymore.

Thinking about them leaving causes the hole that has been slowly growing throughout the day to expand even further. It's encasing everything of my being now, and sucking the life out of me.

I don't sleep all night. Throughout the night I hear Charlie pacing and making phone calls, but he never comes to check on me.

The dark hole just gets bigger. l By morning I'm barely able to leave the bed.

Around sunrise, Charlie gives up and leaves the house. One of his work buddies must have dropped the cruiser around because I hear it pull out of the driveway. Dimly, I remember seeing the flash of it when we pulled in the previous evening, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Finally, staring at the ceiling, I let myself fall into the void.