Where Does The Good Go?

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
And how do you know when to let go?
Where does the good go, where does the good go?

"Got you the groceries you asked for." Taul entered the apartment, passing over the bag.

"Thanks." Padme said warmly, adding: "For yesterday."

Taul shot her a nod in acknowledgment.

"...You okay?" He eventually asked.

"I've," She sighed, "–been better... Trying to be strong for them." Her eyes searched the terrace, where Luke and Leia tossed a small ball to each other.

"Yeah." Taul offered a polite smile. "...You know, if I could let you guys go, I would. Hell, I'd probably get out too."

Padme smiled back at him softly. Her gentle eyes keeping the faith. "Who knows, maybe there's hope for all of us. Maybe we'll get out soon and. . .build a better future – for people like your little sister."

Taul's cheeks lifted as a fond look smeared across his face. His hand raised slightly in a salute before he headed off.

Vader stepped out onto the terrace from his throne room, watching the twins playing – seemingly making the best of a bad situation. It seemed having their own belongings helped.

It was all going well until they spotted him. Startled by his presence, fear washed over them. Leia, wide-eyed and mouth agape, quickly got up to distance herself as he strutted over to them.

"Leave us alone!" Luke's lips stretched tensely.

Vader could feel that they were tormented by terror. With every step he took, he could sense them suppressing a shiver. It felt like an icy dagger to the heart. Everyone greeted him this way now. Every pair of eyes that landed on him looked at him in a raw panic – it does a lot to your mental state. It gets harder and harder to see yourself any other way. They see you as a monster; therefore, you become the monster.

But seeing his own children make a desperate attempt to flee at the mere sight of him was quite the wakeup call. Did he deserve it? Probably – he thought to himself, cushioning the blow. But the pain hammered on his heart nonetheless.

"I won't touch you." Vader kept his voice low as his eyes held Leia's. "I won't hurt you again."

Leia stood behind her brother, holding onto his arms. Neither wanting to be near him.

Luke then glanced at his ball that remained by the railing and then at the door of their apartment, wanting to grab his stuff and go inside without passing Vader.

Luke then subtly used the force to grab his ball, catching Vader's attention.

Vader perked up, his eyes squinting.

"Obi-Wan's been teaching you the ways of the force." He realized.

But Luke and Leia both remained silent.

"Here." He said abruptly, throwing Luke his lightsaber. He caught it.

"Ignite it." Vader directed.

Luke glanced at his sister and then back on the lightsaber, and did as he was told.

The red light made Leia jump back as Luke twirled the laser sword around.

Vader then force-snatched the ball out of his hand and made it hover in the air.

"Keep it up." He instructed.

And Luke did his best to use the lightsaber to guide the ball.

"Good." His voice a gruff drawl. "Now do it with your eyes closed."

Luke proceeded to close his eyes, taking in Vader's words as he instructed him.

"Am I doing it?" Luke asked.

"Yes." Leia replied quietly. Her skeptical eyes not trusting Vader one bit.

"Well done." Vader praised.

Luke's eyes fluttered open and he couldn't hide the corners of his mouth turning into a grin, as he faced his sister, feeling content with himself.

Vader then turned to Leia, gesturing for Luke to let her have a go.

Leia's scorching eyes glared at him.

"You don't want to?" Vader asked

"No." She said sternly.

"Just try it." Luke encouraged.

Reluctant to do so, Leia ended up taking the lightsaber from him in a huff.

"Stay with me." She whispered to her brother. And he nodded.

Hesitant at first, she gradually raised the weapon, and her eyes fell closed.

Unable to feel the ball leaving the ground, she was about to give up.

""Focus." Vader ordered. "Use your feelings."

Leia couldn't sense the ball, having had no training from Obi-Wan, but eventually got it an inch off the ground.

"You're getting there!" Luke cheered but she couldn't channel her feelings into it.

"This is ridiculous." She snapped, opening her eyes – too uncomfortable with the situation to take it seriously. She then threw the lightsaber and it only narrowly missed Vader's head.

Vader grabbed the lightsaber in time and attached it back to his belt, as he studied her.

Both twins peeked up in shock, afraid of his response.

"You've got good aim." He nodded. "Wait here."

And Vader left, leaving them both confused and on edge.

Vader returned with a blaster. Both kids scurried back, their bodies growing cold with dread, as he made his way towards them.

"Take this." He handed the gun over.

Doe-eyed and legs wobbly, Leia's heart lurched. However, she received the gun – thinking it was better in her hands than his.

"Shoot that window." Vader suggested, pointing up.

"What?" Luke gasped, raising his hands up in protest. "It's a gun!"

"It's a weapon. . .no different from this one." Vader patted the lightsaber on his belt.

"She's ten years old." Luke stressed

"So?" Vader finished, daringly.

"What if I shoot you?" Leia snidely remarked.

And for the first time Vader chuckled. "I trust you."

The gun went off, and the shot was heard through the apartment. Padme got up like a bolt of lightening, fearfully rushing out onto the terrace.

She was met with the three faces staring back at her – Vader, Luke and Leia – the latter aiming a gun up high.

Aghast, Padme charged over to them.

"What the hell are you doing?!" She roared, taking the gun out of Leia's hand and throwing it at Vader's chest. She grabbed both her children's hands and dragged them inside.

"Padme–" Vader began, following them, but she shut the door in his face.

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love is like our love
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken

It won't happen

After lecturing her children for getting involved in such a dangerous activity, and for taking any advice from Vader, she then stepped outside, closing the door behind her so the kids wouldn't hear anything.

She stormed over to Vader, who was waiting patiently.

"Have you lost your mind?!" She shouted "Handing a gun over to a ten year old?"

"She had good aim." Vader shrugged.

"I warned you. Stay away from them." She said sharply before turning on her heel.

"...I want to know them." Vader breathed out.

Padme turned back around, her eyes glaring back at him.

"You had that chance when they were born." She hissed. About to turn away, she was stopped only by his seething tone.

"You can't keep them from me." There was a sharpness in his voice. His words were a quiet threat.

Padme, refusing to dignify him with a response, headed back inside with a stiff gait.

After putting her kids to bed, and taking a hot shower, Padme dried herself off with a towel.

She then rummaged through the bags she never bothered to unpack, in hopes that she would be out of here soon, looking for something to wear to bed.

Suddenly, the door opened and Vader and Taul entered.

Surprised was too tame a word to describe the look on their faces. Jaws dropped, Taul's eyebrows raised, while Vader's lowered.

Scanning her body from her head to her toes – the familiarity and beauty of her silky smooth skin returned to Vader in an instant – reminding him of how deprived he was of warmth, lustful whims and sensual intensities.

Admiring her svelte shoulders connected by the neatness of her neck, he was immediately distracted by her supple breasts that would soften even the roughest hands. His gaze dwelled on her nipples, for a moment, he could remember how they taste. His eyes paid homage to the curve of her hips and her shapely thighs – the texture vivid in his mind. He could feel her lingering on his fingertips, bringing him back to the days of possessing her body like muscle memory. His stare lost in her roseate vulva, in the way her body oozes elegance. It pierced through him, nourished him, and shook him. Reminding him of all the intricacies, ecstasies and perversities of their marriage, channeling all the emotions that altered his temperament – lust, longing, violent irrationality, jealousy.

Tormented by the dream she represented, his capricious eyes now glowering at Taul – realizing the young man had witnessed it all – the intimacy of his wife and mysteries of her sexuality that should be reserved for him. A manic moment overcame him, growing dangerously possessive.

Using the force, Vader slung the towel she previously used, that was draped over the couch, onto her. She quickly wrapped it around her bare body.

Not even a second later, his hand slightly raised, and with a jerk of two fingers, Vader snapped Taul's neck.

Shaken to her core, Padme's breath escaped her mouth like a fog as she watched Taul's body drop to the floor. Her heart sank, her stomach twisted, her muscles constricted as she stared in terror at the lifeless body of the man who became her friend. Feeling sick, her hands flew to her painful chest, as her exhales got caught in her throat, unable to comprehend what she just saw.

Her eyes finally set on Vader, shooting him a look of sheer disgust.

His demeanor exuding a hint of shame mixed with vindictiveness, he walked away.

Padme couldn't believe how detached he had become, like people meant nothing to him. She ran to Taul, apologizing hectically, feeling like she failed him, as tears streamed down her cheeks. And two guards came to scoop him up – like the act of removing a dead body was part and parcel of their lives.

It's love that leaves and breaks the seal
Of always thinking you would be
Real happy and healthy, strong and calm
Where does the good go?
Where does the good go?

Tegan and Sara - Where Does The Good Go?