Hello everyone, new episode is out and I can't wait for you to read it, this one won't feature any crazy cannibal cooks, but some other stuff will be in it and many jokes will be made, also, you'll want to read the end...it'll make sense when the next chapter comes out.
Don't worry, I'm using the same recap from the dodgeball episode, remember the treasure hunt couldn't be shown.
I'd like to answer some reviews from this as well, not from last chapter, this one as it was rewritten a bit to hopefully not offend anyone.
NonderscriptNorbet: Norbert, I can't express enough how deeply sorry I am, I didn't mean for this chapter to come off as offensive, I just thought of it as a minor plot, however thank you for the review and I can say that I've rewritten this chapter to hopefully make this better for everyone reading this. Again if I've offended you, this message can't express how sorry I am.
some dude: I'm not going to introduce oc after oc, Clayton and (the other one that's mentioned here) are the only ocs I have planned for this, with the exception of the named intern, that's it.
"Last time on Total Drama Randomness!." Chris smiles as the recap started from the previous episode. "We had an incredible game of dodgeball and even more incredible dares from you lovely fans around the multiverse, some were great and others were..." Chris laughed as the cameras showed Trevor standing in the bright pink dress again "Hilarious!." the cameras cut to multiple shots of Darkwing getting destroyed by challenges. "In the end, the egotistical superhero, Darkwing Duck, and the was the one voted off and took a ride into the vortex of shamealong with Scout, who was injured after wrestling the monster known as Killer, I'd fell bad if I sent in that dare, but at least it wasn't me and that's all that matters!." The host beamed showing his teeth. "Will the dingos be able to recover from losing a teammate unexpectedly?. All this and more on TOTAL...DRAMA...RANDOMNESS!." Chris smiled as the cameras were turned off.
"Why did you wake us in the middle of the night for that shoot," Chef growled rubbing his eyes. "it's the same intro but you just added in a sentence!."
"We had to use the same intro, remember, we can't show any part of Clayton or his sick and twisted methods of killing interns."
"Which you caused." Chef pointed at the host before walking away. "I'm going to bed."
"I wasn't the one controlling the ship!." Chris yelled out but the cook had enough and wanted to go to sleep.
It was now early morning and the sun was just coming up, Chris was on the phone with the producers.
"Yes I know we aren't showing the episode, yes, yes I understand."
"Mr. McLean." An intern tapped him on the shoulder, who host turned around.
"What!. I'm in the middle of a call, and where's my damn coffee!."
"We on behalf of the Total Drama crew would like to say we-"
"I know you want to tell me how awesome I am as a host and a boss, yeah, yeah, you can praise me after I'm done with my call."
The intern took the phone from the host and slammed it on the table, breaking it.
"What the hell is wrong with you, I can fire you any moment I want!."
"Actually, you can't, on behalf of the Total Drama Randomness staff, we quit!." The intern handed The host the paper and he read it over, his eyes widened.
"YOU'RE WHAT!."
"We quit old man, we are tired of this crap, Stu got killed and all you care about are the ratings and money, we are done!." One of the interns said before all of them packed up their bags and left the host sitting at his desk.
"FINE I DONT NEED ANY OF YOU!." Chris snapped. "I CAN FIND SOME NEW INTERNS!."
He quickly went through the laptop and looked up a few people.
"I'll show those kids to not mess with the host with the most." Chris said before typing something on the computer.
"Hey boss, where's everyone going?." Nick asked walking into his office.
"They all quit, ungrateful teenagers!." The host slid the paper to the intern who read it.
"You didn't feed them?." His eyes looked up at the host who quickly snatched the paper and crumpled it up, tossing it in the garbage bin next to him.
"False information."
Deadpool woke up first and got out of the cabins smiling, he was in a good mood today for some reason, he put on his boots and looked around the island.
"Damn, I must be the first one up." He quietly said looking around, his smile quickly turned to a frown.
"Not much to do around here...there's got to be something fun to do on this island!."
He then heard loud trumpets blast from the other cabin.
"Good morning USA, I got a feeling it's gonna be a wonderful day, the sun is the sky has a smile on its face and its shining a salute to the American race!." Peacemaker gave a salute to the sun. "Oh boy it's swell to say-"
"Good morning USA!." Deadpool chimes in scaring the patriot.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?." He shouted and Deadpool laughed.
"I heard you singing good morning USA and I wanted to sing it as well."
"Well don't spook me like that!." He shouted. Deadpool nodded and saw Catalina, Trevor and Toko by the beach quickly sprinting over towards them.
Chris was now out of ideas for challenges, he was pacing back and forth in his office.
"Man, without the interns, who's gonna build my challenges?."
"I don't know, but I'm sure you'll find some new ones." Chef sipped his coffee leaning against the wall.
"Don't worry sir, I've made some arrangements for new interns, although he wanted lots of money." Wadsworth was pouring some warm tea, putting two lumps into it and sipping it with his pinky out.
"Thank you wadsworth!." Chris hugged the bulter making him spill his tea on his nice black suit.
"Sorry man..."
The bulter sighed before heading to a locker and pulling out a new suit.
"Excuse me for a moment." He headed into the restroom and closed the door.
"So when are the new interns getting here?." Nick asked while playing with something in his hands, it was a cube with multiple colors trying to be solved.
"Don't know, but they better be worth all this money." Chris paced around the room some more. "Do either of you have idea for challenges?."
"I just cook." Chef said sipping his coffee again while Nick was still fidgeting his cube.
"I guess make them do a challenge like spending a night in the forest, those are always popular episodes on the charts-"
The host smiles at the intern who had now solved one side of the cube. "You are a genius Dick, I'll inform the contestants right now-"
"My name is Nick-" the intern looked up but the host was already gone, he signed and went back to playing with his cube.
The door to the restrooms opened and Wadsworth came back, the butler was now wearing a dashing black three piece suit, a white dress shirt under the black suit jacket, and white gloves.
"How many suits do you have?." Chef asked out of curiosity to the butler who began fixing more tea. "Three hundred eighty four, some of them are also used in tough conditions."
"Can I try one on?." Nick asked the butler who shot a glare at the intern.
"No."
"Worth a shot." He went back to solving another side of the cube.
"Now we didn't you two quit like the rest?." Chef asked putting down his cup of coffee.
"I needed a job, I submitted about a hundred applications and only this one came back, saying I'd be a good asset to the boss. Plus now with all the other interns gone, hopefully I'll get some payment." Nick looked up at the cook.
"I also needed a job after my last client died from a falling chandelier, so Mr. McLean reached out to me and here I am, now I offer my services to him, cleaning, cooking, and keeping him in check." He poured himself another glass of tea putting two more lumps in it. "Would either of you care for some tea?."
Meanwhile, Wii Fit and Mac were working out by jogging across the whole island, the trainer beat the boxer and stopped at the beach, panting.
"Thanks for joining me Mac." She smiled as the boxer stopped jogging and smiled.
"No problem, anytime!."
As she went to fill up her water bottle, someone came up to Mac with a smile on his face.
"Hello Mac." Mario smiles patting him on the back. "So, you and Wii are working out now?."
"Yeah...isn't she amazing?." The boxer was watching the trainer head into the mess hall.
"Yeah, maybe you should ask her out." He nudged and the boxer turned around.
"N-n-nah man, she's a good friend but I don't think she likes me, plus I'm way out of here league."
Mario looked confused before seeing his friend get a little rosy.
"Oh sure, if you say so." He patted him on the back before walking away.
"Hey Red." Meggy smiled looking over at the boxer. "What's up with him?."
"Mac has a crush on Wii Fit but he thinks she's out of his-a-league, I feel like she feels the same but I want to make sure before I ask her-"
"I'll help, I've never been in love but I'll see what I can find out."
"Thanks Meggy, you are the superstar!." The plumber smiles at the beanie girl who blushes at the comment, she quickly hid it and turned around. "No problem!."
Catalina's alliance was designing a plan on the beach making sure they weren't spotted.
"I feel like we should add more people into the alliance." Deadpool suggests flipping a throwing knife around.
"Who do you think would be able to join?." Trevor asked, scratching his nose.
"Well Toko is already working on Kaos, maybe he could join, I wanted to ask Rick to join the alliance but I crashed the jet ski before I could ask him."
"The scientist would be a good one to have..." Catalina flipped her hair back before looking at the mercenary. "Be sure he joins us."
Deadpool nodded and ran off quickly trying to find Rick, little did he know he was being watched.
Sideshow Bob (confessional)
"I knew something was up...seems the mercenary had stabbed us in back...time for something I'd like to call vendetta!." Bob crossed his arms while glaring at the camera.
Deadpool looked for the scientist in the cabin but he wasn't there. "Yo Rick?." He asked looking around. "Probably in the mess hall."
The mercenary did a backflip off the porch of the cabin and ran over to the mess hall, looking for the scientist.
"Hey, is Rick here?." He poked his head in, Arthur was standing there smoking a cigarette. "I ain't seen him."
Deadpool noticed only Arthur was in the mess hall and closed the door.
"Dude, we are in trouble."
"Why?."
"I just found out that Catalina and Trevor are trying to take out the strong players on the other team, starting with you!."
"That would explain why that bastard made me bleed." Arthur's wound was now healed up, he continued smoking his cigarette before taking a long pause. "What do you want to do?."
"I don't know, maybe I can convince them to go for someone else like Harley-"
"LIES!." Bob opened the door to the mess hall, storming in.
"Hey Bobby, what's up?." Deadpool offered a high five but instead he was met with a knife pointed at him.
"What's it to you, traitor!." He snapped and Deadpool started sweating.
"Traitor?. Who's a traitor?. Because it's not me, I've never even heard of such a silly word." He chuckled nervously.
"Don't believe that snake cowboy," Bob said to Arthur keeping his eyes locked onto Deadpool "This man is a traitor, and a horrible one at that!."
"What do you mean?."
"I saw him talking with Catalina, Trevor and Toko, so that explains why in the last challenge she offered to ride with you!."
"Um.." Deadpool started to think before Bob got in his face.
"And it also explains why you were late to our meeting as well!."
"Uhh, well, I was just-"
"Save your pleas for some other time, I'm going to make sure you go home, if not today, then it shall be tomorrow!."
The hamlet stormed out of the mess hall and Deadpool was speechless.
"Is that true?." Arthur asked the mercenary who started panicking.
"Well-I-Yes, but they asked me first, I joined and when Sephiroth told us about the alliance for him, Bayonetta and Bobby agreed, I couldn't refuse!."
"And now you've just told me..."
Deadpool's head snapped at the cowboy.
"Please don't tell them!." He begged getting on his knees.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna squeal, just promise me to keep your other group away from me...however I would be more concerned about the other two finding out."
Deadpool remembered Sephiroth and Bayonetta and quickly teleported to the cave, grabbing Arthur as he did.
"I need you here to vouch for me." The mercenary knocked on the door. "Hello, it's me, I was wondering if-"
The door flew off and Deadpool flew into a tree, standing before him was an angry Sephiroth who now had his sword unsheathed and walked up to the forth wall breaker.
"...Is it true?." He slowly asked.
"Well-I-ack!." Deadpool tried to speak before Sephiroth grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up, pinning him against the tree.
"IS IT TRUE!?."
Deadpool looked over at Arthur who sighed and fired a bullet into the air, making the half-angel release his grip.
"It's not true, he agreed to the alliance but really he's a spy, giving you guys information about their plans."
Deadpool quickly nodded. "Yeah, A spy, I'm loyal to you guys, why wouldn't I be!."
Sephiroth looked back at the mercenary and helped him up.
"My mistake...friend, you are good."
Deadpool sighed as Bob shook his head and went back into the cave along with Bayonetta.
Sephiroth shoved him back up against the tree. "If I find out this is bullshit, I will personally make sure you leave this competition..." he put his sword back and started walking into the cave and Arthur helped Deadpool back onto his feet.
"You alright?."
"Yeah, thanks man, you saved me there!."
"Don't mention it, just keep your promise to me, and I won't tell the Angel."
Deadpool gave a salute and ran back to the other alliance while Arthur smirked.
Arthur(confessional)
"Okay, so I'm being blackmailed by the angel, he said he'd give me back my journal if I give him some good information or if we reach the merge, and now that Deadpool has told me about his other alliance, if he don't keep his promise, I'll get my journal back and he's out of here."
The cowboy was about to head back before his shoulder was pulled back.
"Arthur, a word." Sephiroth smiled at the cowboy who followed the half-angel down to the beach, he watched the tide go in and out before a bird flew over their heads.
"Such beauty isn't it?." He asked to which Arthur nodded.
"I guess."
"Listen Arthur...our plans have changed, instead of going for people on our team we find weak, we are going after people on your team, who we feel like, are expendable in the long run and will never make it to the merge."
"Alright, so you want me to take them out, I know how this goes."
"You are a smart man for someone from your time..." he slowly smiled. "If you can, start with the weak ones like the robot and the cup, then you'll work your way up, do that and you may get your journal back."
Arthur walked away and saw a shark roaming around in the water looking for food to eat, he looked back at Sephiroth who had a sinister smile like a row of shark teeth.
Everyone was now at the campfire area of Paradise Island, the goats were on the right and the dingos were on the left.
"Alright everyone," Chris said sitting down on a log by the fire pit. "Today's challenge is going to be an easy one, since all the interns quit on us, apart from Rick-"
"MY NAME IS NICK!. ITS NOT THAT HARD!." The intern yelled out while carrying a crest with his legs.
"As I was saying, today's challenges is...surviving one night in the forest then when morning comes, be the first team back in the mess hall to win the challenge."
"Just like in season one?." Deadpool asked raising a hand.
"Yes, only this time, you'll have to deal with the wild animals like bears, alligators, lions, wolves-"
Arthur loaded his revolver.
"If I see one wolf, I'm shooting it-"
"HEY!." Harley looked at the cowboy while pointing at Buster, the wolf she still kept, it was growing at him showing it's sharp teeth.
"Sorry, this one in particular...I'd shoot twice without thinking about it."
"Wait-where's breakfast?." Verosika raised a hand. "And I would like a steak, medium rare and the best booze you have."
"Pfffttt!." The host started laughing before looking at her face. "Oh, you are serious?." He asked before laughing again.
"What's so funny?." Johnny clenched a fist, ready to punch the host.
"You think we are giving you guys steak for breakfast?." Chris smiles wiping a tear from his eye.
"So will be get any help for this trip?." Charlie asked, worried about all the dangerous animals in the woods.
"Yes, you each have a bag full of food, water and a map, there's enough food and water to last the night so you should be just fine."
Chef handed two bags out, one to Deadpool and the other one to Peacemaker.
"There are some dangerous animals out there in the woods, they are dangerous and will try to capture you if you go far enough. If they do we aren't sending a search party to come and find you."
"What else is new?." Belle asked sarcastically rolling her eyes.
"There's also a new twist, if you are the last person to arrive from the losing team, you will automatically be eliminated!." He smiled looking at everyone's faces
Most didn't look worried but a few we're surprised about the twist. Chris blew a horn and the challenge was now started.
"Alright let's do this shit!." Bender said as he looked at the map before Samus took it away from him "Hey give me that back!."
"Sorry, but I know that I can direct us the best."
"Bullshit, I can read a map!." He snapped.
"Then what's this?." Arthur said pointing to a cave that was marked on the map, the robot thought for a second before answering.
"An upside-down diamond!."
Bender was slapped by both Harley and Belle.
"Why'd they slap him?." Cuphead asked confused, Mario whispered something in his ear that the audience couldn't hear. "Ohhh...ewww!!!." Cuphead cringed and Mario nodded.
"Alright, let's-a-go!." Mario smiled, flipping his cap in the air, landing on his head. After the past few challenges, he had a good feeling about this one.
The goats started walking into the forest to get to their campsite, but the dingos were having some trouble with who should be holding the map.
"I should hold the map, I'm great with directions!." Catalina smiles as she looked at the map before it was snatched by Sephiroth.
"Who's the leader here?. As this teams leader, I shall take the map and leader us to the campsite."
"Why don't you let the lady have a go." Trevor got in the face of the half angel.
"Why don't you go take a shower." Bayonetta covered her nose walking past the meth head and besides Sephiroth.
"Guys come on let's not fight." Charlie was trying to keep the peace.
"Fight fight fight!." Rick chanted still drinking a bit. "Ten bucks on the emo angel and the gothic witch!."
"What did you just call me!?." Bayonetta glares at the scientist, offended by the comment.
"Guys-" Charlie tried to get everyone to stop but Trevor had just shoved Sephiroth.
"Okay hillbilly, you asked for this!." Sephiroth unsealthed his sword about to cut him in half.
"GUYS!!!." Charlie screamed getting everyone's attention, all eyes were on the princess who cleared her throat. "This isn't a screaming match, we need to work as a team in order to stay on this show, not shove eachother!."
"No, let them fight, I've been waiting for something entertaining because we can't get good cable on this island!." Rick shouted at the last part to the host who look surprised before angry
"You've been using my Wi-Fi!?."
Sephiroth swiped the map from Catalina and smirked.
"Do you want to argue all day, or do you want to win?."
The Latin muttered something before following along, Sephiroth was in front of the group and Bayonetta was behind him.
"Mind if I sing a little traveling music?." Bob asked.
"NO!." Everyone besides Deadpool and Charlie shouted.
The goats were walking through the forest, some were enjoying the peaceful nature other weren't so happy.
"When are we going to get there!?." Bender groaned "My legs hurt!."
"Shouldn't be far now." Said Tracer who was looking around the forest. "Let's hope we don't get lost in here."
"We won't get lost, as long as we stay together." Samus looked at the map again checking the landmarks. "How's everyone doing so far?."
"I could use a rest break." Cuphead said dragging his feet along the dirt.
"Rests are for the weak," Belle said walking along the trail, hopping over a tree stump. "We can rest once we get there!."
"Yo Sam," Peacemaker looked at her, holding the backpack over his shoulder. "When are we reaching the camp?."
"How am I supposed to know!."
"You're the leader, you should be decisive."
"Well I've decided that you should eat a big bag of dicks how's that?." The bounty hunter replied making him a little ticked.
"If someone told me this whole island was covered with dicks and I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean, for peace, I'd say no problem."
"Why would someone put dicks all over the island?." Harley asked walking behind him.
"You knows why mad man do what they do."
Samus stopped and swiftly turned around.
"You know what, I'm starting to think that your idea of peace is just some excuse, weather it's killing an innocent interns, camera men or eating a whole bunch of dicks!-"
"Correct me if I'm wrong but ain't you a bounty hunter?." Arthur asked walking next to Harley, putting his hands on his gun belt.
"Yes, but I don't kill innocent people, I only kill my targets if I have to, I'm guessing you don't have a problem shooting innocent people as well."
"I only shoot people that need shooting, save fellers as need saving and feed fellers that need feeding, at least that's what my friend says."
"Exactly!." Peacemaker nodded at the cowboy, turning back to the captain. "I only kill people who stand in the way of my goal to achieve peace, I cherish it with all my heart. I don't care how many men, woman or children I need to kill to get it."
Arthur looked at the vigilante after he said the last sentence.
"I thought you were the crazy one." He whispered to Harley.
"I am..."
The goats continue walking along the pathway, hoping to find the campsite.
The dingos were walking along a different path of the forest, more animals were looking as they all walked over a bridge.
"Does anyone know how long it's been?." Bayonetta asked walking behind Sephiroth. "It feels like it's been hours."
"Come down drama queen," Johnny put his arm around Verosika, still under the effects of the potion she put in her flask. "It's only been ten minutes."
"I can assure you it's been longer." Toko folded her arms, pushing past leaves and tree branches.
"Ugh!. This is so stupid!." Kaos groaned not having fun with the challenge, he was tired and the slowest one on the team. "We should have a challenge we're about building a bomb or even a death ray, not some nature walk in the forest full of these hideous creatures!."
"Hey, these animals are cute!." Charlie was watching some humming birds sing a harmonious tune. "Listen to that music!."
"I will say it's very soothing..." Bob smiled also listening to the birds before humming the same tune, the birds repeating it.
"I want to try!." Charlie smiled whistling a tune of her own, the birds whistling back at her.
"Impressive," Bob nodded at the demon who smiled.
"Thanks, I practice a lot, it's one thing I really love to do besides for running my hotel."
"Wait, you run a hotel?." Toko asked her, Charlie smiled. She was just given the chance to tell everyone watching about her hotel.
"Yes, you see in hell, we have a hotel called the happy hotel, it's where we try to rehabilitate sinners before the annual purge every year-"
"Woah, woah, woah, purge?." Rick asked raising the left side of his unibrow.
"Yeah, every year, angels with weapons come down and exterminate sinners every year, I hate seeing my people go through that, if I win the money, I'm going to use it to help sinners turn into saints!."
"That's the worst idea I've ever heard of." Rick said taking a drink.
"It's her dream, let her believe there's hope!." Bob looked at the scientist who gave him the finger, taking another drink.
"Thanks!." Charlie smiles at the poet who took a bow.
"My pleasure..."
The others started walking and a bird landed on Bob's hair. "Aww..." he smiled before seven more birds landed in his hair, using it as a nest. "Awww..." he quickly frowned and caught up with the others.
Charlie(confessional):
"I'm glad at least someone stands up for what i believe in." Charlie beamed twirling her hair.
Sideshow Bob(confessional):
"Do I believe in Charlie's fantasy of sinners going to the pearly gates?." He asked giving a small chuckle. "Of course not, I'm just trying to gain her trust, to which I will use my overbearing grace to woo her, and convince her to join the alliance, I may not be as strong as some of the other freaks on this shitshow, but one thing is for certain, I'm not going to sit back and be a SIDESHOW to the Angel and the which."The palm-tree haired villain smirked, a cute bird popped up from his hair chirping. Bob grumbled something looking up at the bird.
The goats were tired but still kept walking, it seemed like it'd been hours since they started but most of the them were determined to find the campsite.
"It's just over here." Samus pointed, clearing the palm trees in the way, there was a nice open spot, plenty of shade, light and a running river by it, plenty of rocks around and sticks for a fire.
"Perfect..."
"THANK GOD!!!." Bender collapsed onto the dirt, tired from the heat. "Does anyone have a nice...cold...refreshing drink?."
Peacemaker took off the bag and placed it by the robot. "Let's see what we got."
The bag was opened and everyone looked inside of it, inside were five warm water bottles, a bag of rotten tomatoes, a can of beans and stale marshmallows.
"That's what he gave us?." Belle groaned looking at the food the host kindly provided them.
"At least it's something." Meggy replied taking out one of the bottles.
"Great...we can't even eat these tomatoes." Harley poked the bag with her bat, the bag made a squishing sound.
"Sure we can, my mama always said, there's-a-no such thing as a bad tomato!." Mario smiled, grabbing a tomato from the bag.
"Do not eat that!." Mac grabbed the tomato from the plumbers hat and placed it back in the bag.
"Okay, we are going to need to have a fire, does anyone have any ideas?." Wii Fit picking up some sticks before everyone heard a tree falling.
"TIMBUR!!!!." Peacemaker shouted as the tree started tipping.
"Meggy look out!." Both Tracer and Mario got the beanie girl away as the tree came crashing down, making a loud sound as it fell.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?." Meggy shouted to the vigilante who shrugged.
"I said timber!."
"You could've killed her!." Tracer glares at Peacemaker who rolled his eyes.
Peacemaker(confessional):
"They wanted a tree and so I cut down a tree and I get shat on for it!. Fine, next time they want something done, they can do it themselves!."
The dingos had now found their campsite, unlike the goats, they're campsite was in the middle of the forest, surrounded by several animals from birds to monkeys that were swinging along the trees.
"This is the stop." Sephiroth put the map away, looking around. "Could be better."
"It's not bad, we have plenty of shade and some company." Charlie grinned looking at the animals around them.
"Let's see what Chomper provided us." Deadpool set the bag down.
"Don't you mean Chris?." Toko asked with a confused look.
"No, Chomper, the man who's writing this." Deadpool pointed at the camera man.
"What are you talking about?." Bayonetta looked at the mercanary before Sephiroth sighed.
"Remember this man in insane, he's in his own little world."
Deadpool opened up the backpack and inside was three bottles of whiskey, a set of matches, brown apples and a single bottle of water."
"That's it!." Catalina screamed looking at the bag, she was furious. "That host is dead when we get back!."
"Easy sugar tits," Trevor smiled putting a hand on her shoulder "Could be worse."
"HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY BE WORSE!." She yelled before a drop of rain landed on her nose, in two seconds, it started down pouring. "UGHHHHHH!!!!."
"We can't eat this!." Verosika stomped her foot also not happy at the bag. "How are we supposed to last out here with no food-"
"Don't worry babe," Johnny stood in front of her. "I'll find you the best fruits this place has!."
Johnny ran off into the forest to find food for his "babe" and everyone looked at the popstar.
"Did he just call you babe?."Toko asked, surprised she didn't do anything to her.
"Yeah, but because he's getting me food, I'll allow it, I'm really hungry so he better bring back something good." The popstar looked at her nails while sitting on a log.
Sephiroth went to say something but he thought against it and kept his mouth shut.
Verosika(confessional)
"I can't let them find out about what I did to that idiot," she groaned. "If they do, they'll send one of us home, and no fucking way am I going out anytime soon!."
Sephiroth(confessional)
"It appears there's something going on with them, seems I'm going to have to find out what it is and destroy them."
The goats had a nice camp going, thanks to Arthur's time outside on the run, he was able to made a nice tent for everyone.
"That should hold." Arthur looked at the ropes that were in the ground.
"Nice job." Samus nodded at the cowboy. "I'm impressed."
"Well, I've spent my life outdoors at lot and it's easy, I'm the one that's gotta provide the work for my gang back home."
"You also have a gang?." Harley sat down on a log by the fire, kicking her feet up.
"Yep, some of them are nice people, some of them I would shoot if I had the chance."
"So what are these outlaws like?." Meggy asked curiously, Peacemaker spat out his water.
"What kind of question is that?. What do you think they are like, they are killers, thiefs, and gangbangers."
"Shut up Smith!." Samus hit his arm.
"No, no, he's right." Arthur looked at the fire, staring right at it. "Apart from the last part, we are murders, we kill people, we rob people, we move from town to town, doing stuff for folks...but eventually it leads to a town full of bodies, and that's just the way it is."
"We don't have to kill people..." Wii Fit put a hand on his shoulder. "You can go good deeds for people, help them out, be a good man."
Arthur slowly looked up at her, his eyes were a little watery.
"I don't think it matters what I do now..." He looked back at the fire, he saw the faces of people he's killed over his run, some innocents, some lawman, a few bounty hunters, he put his head down and sighed. "I'm a wanted man, and I can't change that."
Arthur slowly got up and walked into the forest. "I need a minute." He turned his head before walking deeper into the forest.
Everyone watched as he wandered deeper into the forest. "Think he'll be okay?." Wii Fit asked looking at Mac, the boxer nodded.
"He's the strongest one here, he'll be fine...actually, I take that back, he's the second strongest one here." He smiles looking into her eyes.
He saw her slowly blush and snapped out of the trance he was in and his face a red.
"Sorry!."
Both Mario and Meggy smiled seeing his face.
"Yep, he's definitely into her." She whispered.
"And it seems she's into him..." he whispered back.
everyone heard growls from around the fire and started looking around.
"Tell me that was someone's stomach." Cuphead begged hoping not to get malled by an animal.
The fire lit up some more and it shown to be a pack of wolves, hungry and dangerous.
"Holy shit!." Peacemaker yelled before the wolves blew out the fire and started attacking.
Everyone was clawed at and scratched quickly trying to find a way out of this.
"The trees!." Samus quickly leaped on to a branch, everyone followed her lead and started climbing, Bender got bitten by the wolf which had a firm grip on him.
"My ass!." He shouted before a bottle was thrown at the wolf making him let go. "Thanks!." He quickly joined the others in the tree.
"So now what?." Peacemaker asked, nobody gave an answer apart from Cuphead.
"HELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPP!."
The dingos were trying to find shade under the trees, trying to keep a fire ablaze.
"Come on!." Deadpool was using his lighter trying to get it to make a fire. "Work with me here!."
"It's no use." Toko said, she quickly gasped and pulled out the box of matches. "We can use these!."
"Can't you see it's raining sidekick!." Kaos yelled making Toko growl.
"So what are we going to do?." Verosika asked. "And where the hell is Johnny?."
Everyone saw the actor come back with some fruits, it wasn't much but was at least something.
"Here I am!." He smiled.
"This is all you could find!." Verosika shouted at him. "I knew I should've picked someone else..." she muttered under her breath.
"What was that?." Bob asked.
"Nothing pencil neck!." She snapped her head at him.
Sephiroth heard the last part and smirked, now he knew what was going on, he looked around the forest his eyes we're surprised, he saw someone walking around the forest.
"I'll be back..." He slowly said with a big grin on his face walking after the figure in the distance.
Arthur was walking to the side of the forrest, he sat on a log and looked out into the ocean, smoking a cigarette.
"Hello there friend." Sephiroth smiled, the cowboy didn't respond and put his head down.
"Something wrong?."
Arthur sighed and looked at his cigarette burning.
"Yeah, I'm peachy, I've just been thinking about my past deeds, everything I've done, I've always been running from the law, pinkertons, bounty hunters, and I've never once thought about it...all the shooting I've done, all the lives I've taken and ruined, too make more money and run away to Tahiti or some place where we can pick mango's...it ain't worth it."
"Oh please, I've kill tons of people before and you think I give a damn about what happens afterwards, don't get soft on us Arthur...don't get soft on me."
"I always thought I was trying to survive, now I'm questioning my whole life..." That last part sounded emotional from Arthur, he didn't know how to process it. "Like this one preacher, Thomas Downs, we loaned him money, and he was a sick and miserable bastard, when I went to collect it, he was dying, he spat in my face and I just demanded the money..."
Sephiroth, tired of this conversation grabbed him and turned him around. "I don't give a damn if you feel bad for every single person you've killed, what's done is done, you can't change the past cowboy, and you need to understand that in this world!."
Arthur didn't say a word, he just walked away from the man.
"Where the hell are you going!?."
"Back to my team, they'll understand it!."
Sephiroth looked furious and went back to the dingos, he didn't speak a word and just sat in the tent as it started to rain.
The dingos were all sitting in a tent still not enjoying the rain, all of them were huddled into it as it didn't have enough room.
"Where's Deadpool?." Charlie asked, noticing he wasn't in the tent.
"He had to go." Toko responded, putting her head down on her knees.
All of them heard a roaring sound and a bear was just outside the tent.
"BEAR!." Trevor screamed before trying to get out of the tent, the bear poked its head inside of the tent and started sniffing.
"IM NOT DYING WITH THESE PEOPLE!." Rick shouted. "Here, eat the princess, here dreams are useless anyway!." Rick shoved Charlie towards the bear and she froze.
"Please don't eat me!." She cried before the bear started laughing, everyone got confused until Deadpool took off a bear mask, laughing historically.
"Oh man, you guys shoved seen the looks on your faces!!!."
Bayonetta quickly shoved him down. "Are you insane!. What the hell is wrong with you!?."
"I thought it was funny...and it absolutely was!." He started laughing again, but stopped when everyone glares at him. "Sorry..."
Everyone then proceeded to look at Rick who raised his unibrow again. "The fuck are you all looking at me for!?."
"You just shoved Charlie into a bear!." Bob said pointing to the princess who was still shaken up.
"So what!. She's fine now, it wasn't even a real bear!."
"That's not the point man, I would never do a thing like that to a female...especially not Verosika." Johnny smiled at the popstar who grit her teeth.
Verosika(confessional)
"I need to find a way for him to shut up."
"Its survival of the fittest bitches, if you don't like it, then you can suck my pickle rick!." He took a swig and flipped everyone off.
"Ha, I get that joke!." Deadpool laughed again.
"Shut it." Sephiroth commanded, quickly shutting him up.
Arthur was walking back and heard several screams, he ran to the sound and found his whole team stuck up in a tree with growling wolves stalking them.
"What are we going to do!." Cuphead started to panic nearly falling off the branch he was sitting on.
"Hey look, there's Arthur!." Harley pointed, unfortunately the wolves turned where she was pointing and the cowboy looked like a nice slab of meat to them.
"E-easy, easy." He slowly said before one of them charge at him tackling him to the ground, he used his jacket to absorb the claws before sticking his knife into the wolves stomach, killing it.
"DAMN!." Bender said as the cowboy lifted the wolf's carcass off his body and looked at the rest.
"Who else wants some." He gripped his knife and ran after the wolves that retreated into the woods. "And don't come back!." He shouted.
"Dude that was fucking amazing!." Peacemaker slid down the tree and patted him on the back. "You alright."
"Never better." He replied.
everyone heard the sound of birds and the sun slowly began to rise.
"Wow, isn't that pretty?." Meggy admired the view, everyone else did for a split second before all of them had a collective gasp. "The challenge!."
In the mess hall, Chris and Chef were being poured hot cups of coffee from Wadsworth, waiting for everyone to get back.
"So, who do you think will be here first?." Chris asked before taking a sip.
"I'd say the dingos but I'd have to pick Deadpool." A voice said.
Chris spat out his coffee and looked behind him, Deadpool was already there holding up an empty cup. "Can I get some coffee please?."
"How did you get here!." Chris asked with widening eyes. "And why are you in a bear costume?."
"First, I used my teleportation belt, and second, this isn't exactly a costume...oh here's my team!." Deadpool smiled seeing the dingos come out of the forest.
"Where are the goats?." Chris asked looking for any sign of them. "It's supposed to be neck and neck."
"Maybe wolves got them, guess we'll need to find a caretaker for the clowns pet." Chef motioned over the wolf that was on a chain.
The first one to get inside of the mess hall was Bayonetta followed by Charlie then Catalina, Trevor, and Bob.
"Hey guys." Deadpool waved over to his teammates. "Coffee?."
Kaos was slowly running but his robe got cut on a throne.
"Blast this bush, I command you to release me at once!." Kaos demanded before Toko ran past him. "Sidekick, I require assistance!."
Toko groaned and looked back at him.
Toko(confessional)
"I'm going to strangle Deadpool for making me be his friend..." she made air quotes around the word friend
Toko used a pair of scissors to cut his robe and the two of them ran into the mess hall, even if Kaos tripped on the steps and hit his chin.
"Where's Rick and Sephiroth?." Charlie asked allowing Wadsworth to pour her some coffee.
The half Angel had the scientist in a headlock and he had a sadistic smirk.
"So, you'll agree to join our alliance then?." He asked.
"Yes, I'll join your fucking insane clown posse, just let me go you fucking anime phased emo!."
Sephiroth smiled as he realesed his grip on Rick who started coughing.
"Good, now, I have a plan..."
Sephiroth(confessional)
"I've now got Bayonetta, Bob, Deadpool and Rick now under my thumb and with Arthur being my ace in the hole, I'm guaranteed to win this silly little competition..."
Rick and Sephiroth were watching the trees, sure enough, the goats were all booking it, running like the wind. However, they weren't running as a team, with the last one being eliminated. It was everyone for themselves now.
"I want to make sure he's safe." Sephiroth pointed to Arthur who was one of the front runners only falling behind Samus, Little Mac and Wii Fit. "He's also in the alliance but as...an insurance policy." He looked at the scientist who smirked. "Alright, I can do that." He pulled out his ray gun and shot it where Arthur was running towards, the cowboy fell into the green portal and Rick shot the other one back at the mess hall, unfortunately it was in the sky and Arthur started free falling.
"Oh shit!." Rick looked up as his screams were heard.
Thanks to his speed Little Mac was the first one in the mess hall followed by Wii Fit.
"Congrats." She said taking a breather. "You won this time." The boxer smiled.
"Maybe we can race another time."
"I'd love that!."
Samus was the next one in the mess hall, she was sweating and took a seat at a table. "I don't think I've ran that fast before..."
Tracer blipped into the mess hall and sat down next to Samus. "That was fun, wasn't it?."
Belle came seconds after her and put her head down on the table "It's that what you call fun, then you need help..." she had massive bags under her eyes and was ready to go to sleep right then and there until Chris set off an air horn waking her up.
"Don't fall asleep, this is peak entertainment!." He smiled, belle only gave a simple groan as Wadsworth started pouring her some coffee.
Harley arrived next while Peacemaker, who was somehow still able to run, dove through the doorway.
"What happened to him?." The host pointed at the weak Vigilante with his thumb while looking at the goats.
"Tiny dick Indians..." Peacemaker replied before passing out, all his energy was used to run after being beaten.
"Is he alright?." Charlie asked looking at him with a bit of concern.
Samus kicked him in the gut and he gave a weak groan. "Seems fine to me."
Johnny and Verosika arrived, with Johnny carrying the popstar his eyes were a new shade of pink but nobody could see with his glasses on.
"Woo!. We made it!." He cheered smiling at the demon.
"Yep and it's all thanks to you." She smiled devilishly, she had him fully under her control, thanks to her special drink.
Rick and Sephiroth arrived now, stepping over Peacemaker.
"What kept you?." Bayonetta asked the half angel who simply smiled.
"Adding another number to our side." He whispered giving her a wink before tilting his head to Rick, she understood immediately and gave a smile of her own before adjusting her glasses.
"Who's left?."
"Well, we have everyone from the dingos and most of the goats so..." Chris checked a clipboard and marked off everyone that was here. "We are missing Meggy, Mario, Cuphead, Arthur and Bender." Bender came through the door stepping Peacemaker's legs.
"I MADE IT!!!!!!!!."
Meggy, Cuphead and Mario were coming out of the forest, the three of them all had the same speed but Meggy was getting a bit faster.
"It's a close one...but where's Arthur?." Chris asked, the cowboy wasn't even out of the forest.
"How high did you put him!?." Sephiroth gripped Rick by the coat and he shoved him away.
"Take it easy asshole, with the height of the portal and the weight of him, he should be coming down right..." Rick said before Arthur came crashing down through the roof, landing on-top of Sephiroth.
"Now." He smirked.
Meggy sprinted into the mess hall gasping, she smiled a bit knowing she was safe, however she looked back and saw Mario was falling behind Cuphead, both of them were running out of energy and both were extremely tired.
"Come on..." she crossed her fingers, hoping her friend would make it before the cup.
"I think we're the last ones." Cuphead looked back at his teammate who nodded.
"Yeah, it-a-seems we are." Mario responded, he knew right now he had to push himself harder than he's done before.
"Think Mario, think about something that can get you motivated." He thought, he looked at Meggy and his eyes saw Princess Peach standing at the window cheering him on.
The plumber used the last of his energy to sprint ahead of Cuphead up the stairs and straight into the mess hall, doing a full front flip before collapsing.
"And game!." Chris smiled checking one name off the list. "Congratulations Mario, you have another stay on paradise island."
Chris walked over to Cuphead was still smiling. "Why are you smiling, you have been eliminated!."
"At least I didn't go home first mister host man!." Cuphead nodded proudly. "Elder Kettle said I wouldn't last a day, and now I can return home to inkwell isle!."
Chris was surprised by the answer. "But you just lost your chance to win some serious money!."
"Eh, money isn't everything, even if I'm kinda greedy, I had fun and that's really all that matters to me."
Chris crossed his arms and sighed. "Well that wasn't what I wanted to here...great, now the whole thing I said about someone weeping will have to get cut from the episode!."
Cuphead smiled, he had nothing to be ashamed of.
Cuphead was standing in front of the vortex, he looked back at his teammates and gave a wave.
"It was fun guys, thanks for having me!."
A few people like Mario, Mac, Meggy and Arthur gave a wave back as he plugged his nose and leaped into the vortex of shame which closed after a few seconds.
"Welp, that's one more loser down and out of my life, will the next one be from the goats or will the dingos crumble under the pressure...find out next time on TOTAL...DRAMA...RANDOMNESS-" Chris cued the outro before a portal slowly opened up on the docks, everyone covered there eyes, it was golden and bright instead of blue like the vortex, out of the golden portal stepped a man who was the same height as someone like Chris, he was wearing a brown tophat, goggles, gloves, a dazzling brown suit with a black dress shirt underneath his coat and a mustache that was similar to what Waluigi has.
"Greetings." The man said looking around before eying the host. "Oh no!. I'm in another one of these universes!." He groaned.
"Who are you?." The host asked backing away. "Wait did you say another one of these...universes?."
"Indeed I did." The man answered before taking a bow removing his top hat. "Dr. Emmet Kramer, time traveler from the year 1877."
"Wait you can travel through time?." Samus asked the time traveler who grinned, removing his goggles revealing hazel eyes.
"Yes Miss Aran, I can."
"Woah, he knows your name Sammy." Wii Fit looked at her friend who was confused.
"What's my name?." Peacemaker asked.
"Christopher Smith, aka, The Peacemaker, murderer, criminal and terrorist who's doing this actions in the name of peace."
"You're goddamn right I am." He smiled proudly giving a salute. "America needs the hero it deserves."
"So, what are you doing here Mr. Kramer?." Belle asked.
"I'm traveling across the multiverse, as it's the only thing I can do as my invention malfunctioned and my clock and I fused together." He said as a ticking hand slowly moved up his shirt before going back down in a clockwork motion.
"Do have a clock stuck to your chest!?." Tracer gasped, looking at her chronoaccelerator. "That's so cool!."
"You may think so, but it brings a little pain sometimes." He said adjusting his tophat. "Especially when I open portals for people to do stuff, it hurts my chess and messed up my clock."
Chris got an idea and his face slowly turned into what the grinch would look like.
"I don't like that face..." Chef said as Chris put and arm around the time traveler.
"Tell me Emmet, can I get you anything, I mean all that traveling must have you exhausted, can I get you something?."
"Well, I mean, I'd like a bottle of rum if you have any."
"WADSOWORTH!." Chris shouted, the bulter came up to them. "Get this man some rum!."
"Sir, we don't have any rum here-"
"Go by some then!!!." He shouted at the bulter who's eyed went wide, the bulter slowly walked off the docks to go find or at least buy some rum.
"We'll get your rum in now time Dr. Kramer, now, tell me about these other universes...I feel a ratings boost coming!!!."
Chris and Emmet walked off the docks leaving the goats and Chef speechless.
"Shouldn't we do an outro?." Chef looked at the camera man who was silent, the camera man was Nick because all the interns quit, he had to be the one running behind the scenes.
"I don't know, why don't we just cut her-" he said before the camera cut off.
And that's the end of this episode.
Hope you are excited for the next chapter, it's sort of like a tribute to two stories and authors I've enjoyed reading and they both inspired this fanfic, so I figured that next chapter will be a good one, probably my most favorite.
It's a crossover inside a crossover, inside of another crossover, it's like a mega crossover. I hope you are ready for the most random thing you will ever read in your life!.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, and have a good day/evening/night.
This is Chomper, singing off.