[PROLOGUE 4 : GOD MAY BE DEAD, BUT THE CAT ISN'T]
A strange, tiny something made its way through the alleys and streets of Paris, humming an old song to itself.
"The cat walks warily down the street, with the brim pulled way down low"
"Ain't no sound but the sound of her feet, intercontinyental ballistic missiles ready to go– "
An angel in heaven died as the weird, creepy, mysterious thing(?) made a unholy screech and threw down a fedora. "Oi, oi, this was definitely nyot what I expected when I signed that contract, nya. They said I'd be the greatest movie star of Nekowood, with feature films alongside Ryan Reynolds and Tom Cruise, BUT THIS IS NOT AMERICA!"
The little existence (?) was barely over a foot tall. With seemingly feline features, the thing (which shall henceforth be called La Creature, for everyone's convenience and sanity) was clad in a white blouse, a denim miniskirt, and black stockings. With blond hair(?) arranged somewhat in a pixie cut, a pair of matching ears, and eyes with striking red, feline pupils, La Creatura was clearly something not of this world.
"Hnm, after all that dimension jumping, I'm one poor, tired, hungry cat. What a shameful state for somecat who's was once the greatest businyesscat of all time, nya."
La Creatura reached into her skirt pockets (Did it even have a pocket? Where did anything even fit?) and pulled out a shiny new smartphone. (Which definitely couldn't've fit in there. Man, this is one strange cat.) She tapped at it a few times, before freezing up. As in literally being petrified. In years to come, the city of Paris would seemingly count among its rumours, the strange tale of a strange statue of a strange cat-like creature holding a phone on the banks of the Seine.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, MY GACHA! ALL MY SSR PULLS ARE GONE, NYA! I SPENT OVER FIVE NECOILLION DOLLARS DOING ROLLS TO NP5 ALL MY CHARACTERS AND NOW THEY'RE ALL GONE! WATCH YOUR BACK, TYPE-MOON – THIS FURIOUS CAT WILL BRING THE WRATH AND SALT OF ALL F2P PLAYERS, AND I WILL BETTER CALL SAUL AND SUE YOU IN COURT, NYA! FGO IS A SCAM! RATE UP IS A LIE! BUT GACHA IS LIFE!"
Apparently, La Creatura had encountered what was commonly called as a account reset in the video game industry. The company behind the game probably had found out about the fake NecoDollars that she had been using, and probably banned her for life. However, all hope was not lost, not just yet (unfortunately).
"Hoo, my cat-radar is going wild, like a bunch of teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert back in the early 2010s. Baby, baby, baby, this excellent nose of mine, with a perfect 100km range, is telling me there's a Holy Grail in this city! Nyu-hu-hu, now there's an most excellent way to get money to buy some Saint Quartz without depending on the royalties that I'll be getting from Melty Blood 2 : Electric Necol– "
A quick Catgle search stopped La Creatura in her tracks, just again as before. However, this time, it would be quite effective to say that the aftermath was, well, quite impactful. A cat(?) exploding(?) metaphorically(?) is quite a sight to see. "IT DOESN'T EXIST? MY ONE AND ONLY CHANCE TO BE ON THE COVER OF A GAME IS GONE? I DIDN'T GET A ROUTE IN THE FAR-SIDE REMAKE, AND ALL MY PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE MELTY BLOOD UNIVERSE WERE RUINED, NYA!"
The strange cat shook its tiny little fists(?) at the skies above.
"If God isn't dead, this cat will make sure he's going to wish he better was. I'm going to find that Grail, get the exclusive FGO unlimited Saint Quartz hack, summon all the 5* servants in the ga- Oh, a limited banner? With no reruns in the foreseeable future? Oi, oi, I'm one busy working-class cat, but one last pull won't hurt, heh."
And therefore being extremely, extremely inspired to somehow get enough pulls to hit the pity on the banner, La Creature strives forth on her quest for the Holy Grail. Behold, France, land of cheese and baguette – The rise of Neco Arc to become the Supreme Executive Cat of this world begins here, and now!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Prologue 4 out of 9 is done! And yes, this is not a joke, Neco Arc is a master in this Grail War. Now who she's going to summon, that's something y'all should look around and find out.
So yes, as usual, gimme feedback, send me some messages in PMs, join my discord server (link in profile), and in general lemme have some happy hormones! And look forward to the next chapter on Christmas!
NOTE: I DO NOT OWN FATE STAY/NIGHT OR ANY OF THE RELATED ENTITIES OWNED BY TYPE-MOON (yet, because I ended up broke trying to buy stuff for Christmas. Price inflation around these holidays is wack, y'all.