Chapter Title: Uncomfortable

"I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief." - C.S. Lewis

Some days it hit her harder than others.

In the distance she could smell the smokey char of a low burning campfire that was probably the remnants of the previous night from one of the dozens of colorful camping tents that dotted themselves along the Cerulean Cape, and it sent a pang of longing through her heart that she did her best to ignore.

Olfactory memory was the hardest to fight, after all.

Smells could transport her back to any given moment of adventures long past. Some of the memories were good, some bad, but all brought her back to him.

Deep down she knew he wasn't out there among the throng of trainers looking to call at her door, and the small beach fires were just a byproduct of the burning hope of new competitors eager to earn their place for the nearing championship tournament taking place in Kanto in the next month.

Trainers looking to prove their salt often left Misty for last as her gym was now the closest thing to the Kantonian Elite Four ever since the gym in Viridian closed after a series of nefarious scandals in leadership following Agatha's passing. As a result, Misty's battle roster was full for the day, and most of the week that followed for that matter, so she had no time to honor feelings that would only serve to distract her.

Besides, it had been a whole year since they'd last spoken. She'd heard garbled bits from Brock and Delia about where Ash was and who he was traveling with these days, but all communication from the boy himself had ceased.

Misty couldn't say whether that was a product of their final, awkward encounter that left her fleeing into the woods in the dead of night, or whether his attention had shifted with the addition of a pretty, young blonde to his traveling group, and honestly she preferred not to think much on the matter lest she spiral into a wallowing pit that only Ben and Jerry's could bring her back from.

Despite the lack of answer, the outcome rang like the endless stream of trainers at her door. For the first several months she'd entertain a flitting jolt of hope when the bell rang with belief that he'd come to his senses, but now she just threw on her toughest face and welcomed the newcomer to their inevitable loss.

That wasn't to say she won all her matches, but she was damn tough to beat, so the odds were favorable for her. Part of that was a benefit of her heartbreak as she now readily embraced the mind games the other Kanto gym leaders relied on. It was a tactical habit she'd picked up on during a seminar earlier in the year where the Kanto elite four had talked through a series of tips and tricks to mentally confuse and debase one's opponents.

There had been a series of viable options ranging from "sweet to sour" like her friend Erika utilized, "brawn over brains" like that creepy muscle-head Lt. Surge, and "chaos and control" as Sabrina had mastered.

Misty had leaned into the idea of "beauty to beast" as she benefited from her sister's poor battling reputations, but growing modeling careers.

Novice trainers and trainers who hadn't kept up with the gym news in recent years were often shocked as she overpowered them with a no-frills battling strategy. It was to the point that the trademark battling bikini she wore became her personal siren's call, lulling trainers into a false sense of security before drowning their chances at victory.

She liked to imagine Ash heard about her buzzing reputation as her victories mounted, but unless Brock or Delia said anything, Misty knew the news was unlikely to extend as far as Kalos.

Who was she kidding? Even if he did hear, he didn't care enough to call anyway so it hardly mattered. Patting Dewgong's head affectionately, she took a deep breath and opened the door to the find a line of trainers staring at her with the same naively confident look Ash had before every match, and her heart sunk as she realized today was going to be mentally brutal for her as well.

He found himself camped out on the beach staring at the charred driftwood pile that had served as last night's fire. He'd wanted to opt for just a sleeping bag over the tent setup, but the flora that lined the shoreline had been too dense to cut through in the dead of night so he'd resolved to setting up a makeshift tent on the beach above the high tide line.

There really wasn't much worse than waking up with sand inside your sleeping bag, though he'd experienced that plenty of times with Misty and Tracey while traveling in the Orange Islands.

Sometimes he hated how easily his mind drummed up little thoughts of her. It had been worse the last few weeks as he was on his own once more, between plans in a way that had him just sniffing out whatever solo adventures he could find before he figured out which region to travel to next. Going home didn't feel right quite yet, as he didn't want to return without seeing her and he couldn't find the courage to face her yet.

Pikachu looked up at his trainer inquisitively as Ash remained fixated on the dying fire with a focus that was unlike his usual energetic self.

"Sorry, pal, I'm just a little lonely I guess," Ash shrugged as Pikachu affectionately jumped into his arms and patted the teen empathetically with small paws.

Ash chuckled dryly, "I appreciate it, but it's not quite the same."

"Pikachupi?" Pikachu inquired knowingly, while he wasn't entirely sure what divided his trainer and the redhead, he'd seen her run off that night and both Ash and his companion pokemon had missed her since.

"I can't call her," Ash replied with a heavy sigh, "it's been too long..."

"Pika pi pi pika chu," Pikachu articulated animatedly, waving his small yellow arms around for emphasis.

"Trust me, she doesn't want to talk to me. Mom says she doesn't even ask about me anymore," Ash mumbled, beginning the slow process of packing up the camp.

"Chu," Pikachu grumbled in response, folding his arms across his chest indignantly.

Ash ignored his companion and rolled his pack together as tightly as he could.

"Let's go bud, I'll think about calling her. I promise," Ash sighed not sure if he actually would, but knowing that eventually he'd have to.

A call was made later that week, but not to the redhead in question. Rather Ash used the pokemon center phone to call Brock for advice. The topic of how to reconnect with Misty had been on Ash's mind and as such he hardly indulged in pleasantries when the spiky haired pokemon-doctor-in-training picked up the receiver.

"Do you think I should call Misty?" Ash blurted out with a heavy slump to his shoulders.

Brock paused for a moment and scratched his chin thoughtfully. He didn't expect after all these years he'd still be refereeing for the pair, but they were as clueless as ever.

"Normally I'd say you two have been best friends for years…" Brock cautiously replied, "but as a friend to you both, I'm not sure that's a good idea until you figure out what you want."

"What do you mean?" I just want things to go back to normal. Isn't that enough?" Ash ran his fingers through his messy hair as he stared the video screen in confused frustration.

"Listen, Ash, neither of us saw how the distance affected her when we traveled without her, but since I've been home...let's just say this past year hasn't been good. I need to know you're not going to hurt her like that again," Brock lectured gently, "she's my friend too so I have to consider her best interests as well. And I honestly don't know if the damage from this last year can really be repaired."

"That's not fair. She could have just as easily called me," Ash defended, earning an irritated eye roll from Pikachu.

"She left you with a question, so it was up to you to call her. By not calling for a year you gave her about as clear of an answer as anything. I told her it would be smart to consider moving on," Brock sighed, "I'm sorry, Ash, I really was rooting for you guys, but she's just starting to put herself back out there. It would be selfish for you to call her at this point."

Ash mumbled something unintelligible into the receiver and sighed heavily, sinking his head back down onto the table in front of him.

"I appreciate you taking my advice. I know it isn't easy, and I know you miss her, but just give her a chance to be happy again. Once she starts seeing someone else and heals a bit then you can call her," Brock gently assured.

"What if I don't want her dating someone else?" Ash yelped nervously, realizing just what Brock was asking of him.

"Then you need to know that for certain," Brock sternly stated.

The two young men stared each other down via videophone before Brock was satisfied that Ash had goten the point.

"Oh I do have something else to tell you…" Brock added, "I heard a rumor about an underground battling ring, and maybe a rumor is all it is, but, if I'm right, you're going to want to check out something about 20 miles north of where you currently are. I'll send you the directions."

"But Ash...What are we?" Misty asked, her voice trembling with nerves.

He stared at her, seemingly dumbstruck by the question, and failed to find words.

His mouth opened and closed like a beached magikarp and after much mute sputtering he managed a series of sounds that seemed enough like the word 'friends.'

He watched her face instantly fall and it hit him that that was the wrong thing to say, but he wasn't good at this sort of thing. Didn't she know that about him?

Space. He needed space to think, but it was the middle of the night and she was in his room...where was there to go?

"I forgot I was trying to catch an oddish to help my mom in the garden," Ash stammered grabbing Pikachu and rushing toward the doorway as a means of escape.

"Forget it," Misty muttered despondently, grabbing her bag and brushing past him in the doorway.

She grabbed her refurbished bike from it's spot leaned up against the porch and took off into the darkness. Normally she would never dream about biking through the forests at night, but somehow it seemed scarier to stay in Pallet.

Misty awoke in a cold sweat, her heart was still racing at the memory driven dream and she wanted to scream, but knew that her sleeping pokemon and sisters would be irritated at her 3AM frustrations.

Instead she reached toward her nightstand to grab the bottle of sleeping pills she kept for such occasions and accidentally bumped her cell phone in the process which flashed to let her know that she had a voicemail. This was odd considering she checked her phone right before bed so she didn't know who would be trying to reach her so late.

She debated leaving it for the morning, but curiosity got the better of her, especially when she saw the area code for a Kalos pokemon center associated with the call.

"Hey Myst...it's uh, been a while, but….uh...I kinda need your help with something."

She rolled her eyes at the statement; she honestly didn't know why she got her hopes up for an apology. It was Ash after all. Still he left the voicemail at midnight, so whatever favor he needed must be important.

"Well, it took a while, but...uh...I found him."

Her heart lurched momentarily. Then the voicemail ended.

*Chapter end*

Hope you're enjoying so far! I'm not sure if I'll be able to post next week Friday as I am a bit busy with the holidays, but I will see what I can do.

Favs, follows, and reviews are always welcome.

-FWFT