MC and Jihyun were sitting by the fire in the small living room at his house on a late Sunday morning. The time crawls slowly around them, as they enjoy the quiet and chilly day of the late Winter, the first one they spend together since his return to Korea.
Sunbeams were streaming through the window, illuminating the pages of the book before her that was clasped in the mint-haired man's hands. She is wrapped around a blanket, nested in between his legs, feeling the warmth of his body and his light breathing, causing her to rise and fall as he did. Her head was just below his chin, allowing both her and him to see the words of the story.
Well, it allowed her to read. She has no idea what was the book's title, least of all what it is about, as she is not paying attention at all. Her mindful boyfriend would ask if she had finished reading it every time that he was about to flip a page ahead, without fail, and every time she said yes, even though she had not read it at all. This back-and-forth is the only noise to be heard in the room.
She is simply enjoying the comfortable and peaceful silence between the two of them in the tranquil house. Between her full-time job and the odd hours that he kept in his experiments with light, it was rare to have moments like this, so the two of them took full advantage of it.
The woman closes her eyes, feeling tranquil as her boyfriend's breathing lulls her into rest. The gentle crackling of the fire added a calm background noise which only made her state more peaceful.
"You haven't been reading it at all, have you?" Jihyun asks, suddenly.
MC can sense the teasing smile on his face. She opens her eyes, suppressing a giggle.
"Not at all." She smiles, cheekily.
He sighs, but she can feel the amused laugh embedded in it. He removes the book from before her eyes and snaps it shut, placing it on the coffee table behind them.
"Wait, you don't have to stop reading." MC says, turning around on his chest and resting her chin there.
He smiles indulgently down at her, bringing his hands to her back. His demeanour turns bold and he has his hands roam up and down her body, soothing her and igniting her at the same time. The trail causes shivers to spread over her spine, her body softens on his hold. The feeling is too much for such a lazy morning, so she rolls over onto her back, leaving his hands to rest just above her stomach.
It was all fine and good, and she was enjoying his ministrations. Until, to her horror, he begins to move his hands underneath her jumper, threatening to roam over the skin there. She tenses up, grasping his hands and pushing them away with wide eyes as her breathing becomes shallower in panic. Immediately, she sits up and try to slow her heart beat down.
Jihyun, in turn, looks horrified. He has done this to her, it had been his ungodly touch. After all this time away from it all, after all his effort to heal himself, to learn how to love properly, he is still repulsive.
No. He would have time to dwell on that later. Now he must heal the damage that he made.
"I'm sorry, MC. I must have overstepped. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" He asks, words filled with worry.
She hates to do this. She can hear the thoughts going through his head, the leaps in logic that he is making. She wants to indulge on it, she wants to be with him in this way, but she just cannot do it. Not yet. Perhaps not ever. She thought that she had steeled herself, that those two years apart were put to use on her own mental hang-ups on this situation, but it turns out that she is wrong.
MC cannot take off her shirt. She just cannot. He would find her ugly, of course he would. They were hideous, and Jihyun is an artist, someone with keen aesthetic sensibilities. There is no scenario in her mind in which he could look at them and not turn away with a face of disgust, and she is not yet prepared to have this quiet happiness that she enjoyed next to him cruelly snatched away so quickly.
She does not answer him, she does not know how to. She focuses on her breathing, the questions uttered around her becoming muffled as she drowns them out. His hand on her shoulder was hard to ignore, though, his touch made every nerve in her body hypersensitive.
"MC?" He asks, so gently that it brings fresh tears from her eyes.
At the sight of it, he envelops her in a hug, rocking her side to side as he pats her hair down. Shushing she gently, he looks down at her eyes, attempting to find the answers hidden within them.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He repeated, again and again.
"It's not…" She croaked. "It's not your fault. Really."
Jihyun wants to refute her declaration, but he continues to pat her head, rocking her, trying to calm her down.
"Do you want to tell me?" He asks.
Something about the sincerity of his question and the expression on his face exudes trustworthiness. Some of her fears fall away, enough for her to manage telling him.
"It's just… I've had a lot of health issues growing up, and I had a lot of surgeries trying to fix me up. They've left scars and I just hate the look of them. I don't want you to think I'm ugly or something." MC says, unable to meet his eyes.
She is hardly able to conjure any further vicious thoughts about herself before her boyfriend lifts her chin up so she is looking at him straight in the eye.
"Do you really think I care about such a thing like scars?" He asks, chillingly cold.
"Well…" The woman trails off, unsure what to respond under pressure.
Rika, for all her faults, and there were many, is a beautiful woman. There must be something that first attracted them to each other, and her blond hair, jade green eyes, hourglass figure and generous breasts seem to be the most likely candidates.
"MC, listen to me. Everything about you is beautiful, and no scar, no matter how gruesome you think it is, is going to change that. No scar will change the way I feel about you, or the way I look at you. If anything, it shows me your strength and your bravery." He smiles, looking at her over his round glasses.
By the tone of his voice and her trust in him, MC finds it difficult to convince herself that he is so boldly lying. A small smile forms on her lips and she silently thanks his god that she had found such an amazing person who made her feel as if nothing in the world could bring her down. To the opportunity to spend her time, long or short, basking on the warmth of his being.
That was Jihyun for her, her sweet, wonderful and considerate boyfriend.
"Thank you." She says simply, not endorsing nor refuting his statement.
The woman rests her head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arms tighter around him.
"I love you." He replies.
"I love you, too." She smiles.
Lying back down with his book in one hand and the other resting in her torso, he begins reading aloud, and the woman figures it to be a French novel, in French, which she does not speak. He gently strokes up and down her skin, ghosting over the very scars that had brought so much anxiety. He does not flinch, he does not slow down when he reached them, he simply carried on as if they were not there.
Snuggling further into him, the feeling becomes more natural and her heart rate slows to a relaxed pace as she closes her eyes once more, this time listening to the sound of his voice.
MC might not be ready to show her scars to the world just yet, but she is confident that this day will come.