Chapter 4

I was more confused and frustrated than I had been the entire day, as I walked back into the house with Abe.

What did he mean when he said to "Listen and Watch"?

Also, what gives him the right to tell me to just "move on"?

I had to put my hands in my pockets to keep them from trembling too much, as I positioned myself against a wall as far as possible from Rose in the living room. I was frustrated that everyone kept telling me what to do and how to feel. I felt my patience wearing very thin.

I need a shot of bourbon or whiskey. Hell, I'll even take cheap vodka right now. I thought as Sydney walked into the room.

She immediately began talking to the group in a voice that left no room for anything but business. I wondered what it would be like to live like that, mostly focused on work.

Sounds like a boring life.

I started to pay attention but stopped as soon as I realized that they were simply making plans for everyone that's enrolling in high school, which to me sounds like torture. Not just because of going back to taking classes or living amongst humans, but because of all the stupid rules. Curfews, needing permission to leave campus, random room checks for alcohol and drugs.

No thanks.

I remembered Jill telling me that she was nervous about having to lie to everyone she meets about who and what she is, but that just feels a bit freeing to me. To be able to go to a new city and pretend to be an entirely different person. To feel like you're getting a chance to start over in a way.

Not that I'll be getting much of that. I'll be stuck at Clarence's with no car, no money and a terribly limited liquor cabinet.

"How are you going to get to feedings?" I heard Sydney ask.

I looked up and was startled to realize that she was talking to me. I had been lost in my own thoughts and immediately reminded myself to look as casual and carefree as possible.

"By walking down the hall." I responded with a lazy smile that I hoped no one could tell was forced.

I may not have been doing that good of a job because I noticed that the corners of Sydney's lips tilted down the slightest bit as she looked at me. Or maybe that was just because she doesn't want to be here any more than I do.

She looked confused for some reason, but Clarence answered before I had a chance to realize what she was confused about.

"Adrian will be staying here with me. It will be nice to have someone else in these old walls."

Automatically, I watched closely for her reaction. I had been noticing her very slight demeanor changes as she spoke to everyone within the group. It served as a good distraction.

"Oh." Was her only response, but I could've sworn I could tell she suppressed an eyeroll at Clarence's response.

"How very Secret Garden." She said more quietly.

I could tell that she meant for that comment to not be heard by anyone in the room, but I had been paying close enough attention to have heard her clearly. I contemplated ignoring it but decided that it'd be more entertaining to see what kind of reaction I could get from an alchemist when she realized that the big bad vampire could hear her from across the room.

"Hmm?" I asked, as I tilted my head in her direction to make it clear that I was talking to her.

As expected, she seemed spooked but the reaction was not as dramatic as I was hoping.

She simply looked at me in poorly disguised surprise as she responded.

"Nothing. I was just thinking of a book I read."

That was underwhelming.

I suddenly realized I was already tired of playing this game. I was tired of trying to distract myself with stupid things in order to avoid and ignore my current situation. I wished I could just go back to my own life, and to doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I wished I didn't have to stay in Palm Springs. For the millionth time.

An annoyed "Oh." was my only response as I looked away and contemplated escape plans from this nightmare-ish reality.