Chapter 5
I See You
My progress in healing is splendid, Poppy is truly proud of me, and step by step I notice that I can mend injuries which the matron cannot or has great difficulty healing. I am often called to the infirmary for attending to minor accidents or non-life-threatening cases, and I'm more than happy to help the students. We are now in November, which means, a whole month passed since I started studying with Madame Pomfrey. I wasn't nearly done, since Poppy told me in advance, that my basic training would take a whole year, and only after that will I be sailing onto more difficult waters, like surgery and such. She said the Moody case was just a one-time thing, she would never let me heal someone like that before my time has come as a healer. Even then if the matron hadn't been there to help extracting the dark magic, I would have lost Moody's life, because the magic would have simply taken over me. So, I had to sit on my butt until I graduated. Which I found rather stupid, but I went with her perspective, seeing that she was the experienced one.
I pack my things in the DADA classroom, had a successful study session about hexes, Lupin making the Dark Arts as interesting as it can get. I love the way he explains everything with such kindness, demonstrating the spells in a way even the most stupid students understand how they work. These types of teachers value more than gold in my eyes, and I am eternally grateful to them for their patience in teaching us. Drax leaves as soon as the bell rings, potions being our next class, so he has to prepare for it. I am the last to leave the room, and before I can go out, I hear Lupin calling out to me, preventing me from leaving. I turn around, as he walks up to me, with a kind smile.
„Please forgive me for keeping you up, I just wanted to congratulate you for your brave act of saving Moody's life. I hope you will become a wonderful healer."
„Oh, thank you professor." I smile back at him, his sudden compliment catching me by surprise.
„I see a troubled light in your eyes, tell me, can I help you in any way?" Lupin asks me putting his hand on my shoulder like a good father. He is able to read people so well, nothing escapes his notice. Truly, a thought have been troubling me. I have a feeling in my gut that my magic can be improved in some way, shape or form, but I just can't seem to find a lead to that improvement. I am satisfied with my progress so far, but this feeling in my stomach prompts me to search for more. I'm somehow aware that this force is the same magic which was sending me after Moody that day, and it pushes me to search outside of the normal healing curriculum's borders.
„I just feel a huge drive to prove myself to Madame Pomfrey and also to myself. I keep getting hints from my sixth sense to broaden my search, to improve my healing, but I can't seem to understand what exactly it's hinting at. All I know is, the information is outside the usual healing's borders." I explain, with a slight frown, leaning my behind on the edge of my table. Lupin looks like he's trying to come up with a helpful answer, but after a few seconds of pondering, he just asks me,
„How exactly does your healing work? Describe it to me in a nutshell." he has a curious light in his eyes.
„Well, I have these magical strings coming out from the tips of my fingers, and I can connect them to the patient's brain, taking complete control of their organism, making it heal faster. Briefly, that's all." I say simply, and I truly hope Remus can come up with something, seeing he is very deep in thought. He mimics my posture, leaning against another table, facing me, grasping his chin as the cogs are turning in his mind.
„Are you able to take over only their body, or their mind too?" he asks shifting a narrow look to me.
„What do you mean, professor?" I ask, confused a little.
„Well, since your magic allows you to enter people's brain, I assumed, if you can take over their body, you have access to their memories and feelings also." he says doing a fine gesture with his hands.
I freeze to the ground. That's it! Why didn't I think of this before? Lupin is a genius! A sudden urge comes up on me, I grab my bag placed on the desk. I want to run to the corridor, but before I bolt out the door, I turn back to Lupin.
„You gave me a great idea, professor, thank you! I must run now!" I say excitedly in a hurry, and before he could answer, I'm sprinting straight to the library. I just got the idea of the century.
I still have a little time before the bell rings for next period, so I enter the library, and go into the farthest corner from the entrance door, stopping in front of an empty desk. I take out my wand, and point it towards the bookshelves.
„Accio books about legilimency!" I whisper, and observe as roughly fifteen books float in front of me from all directions, placing themselves on the desk. I put all of them in my bag, which is expanded by a charm, having more than enough space for my new treasure. Lupin is right, and he's not even a healer! I have to combine my healing with legilimency, so I can enter people's minds also! Apparently I found what the magical force wanted me to find, because the heavy pushing sensation disappeared from my gut. All I feel now is a great thirst for what these books hold, and to find a way to fuse mindreading with healing. As these thoughts are flying left and right in my enthusiastic head, I make my way up to Poppy, but I decide not to share this revelation with her. Something tells me to keep this a secret, so I plan on reading only when I'm alone, surrounded by no one. Well maybe I will tell Drax, I can trust him with keeping this piece of information hidden.
My heart flutters happily because of my discovery, as I open the door to the infirmary, but the fluttering immediately changes direction as I spot my favorite bat talking to Poppy, a first-year girl standing in front of him, crying and whimpering in pain. As I approach them, I notice the little girl has some nasty burns on her face and hands, blood smeared over her burned skin. She must be in great pain, as I get closer I am able to determine the burn as a second grade.
„Good afternoon, Madame Pomfrey, professor Snape." I greet them nodding, the bat shifts his eyes to me, he looks quite irritated, I assume the little girl had an accident in his class.
„Oh dear, you arrived just in time! Please help this poor little girl, she had a cauldron explode right in her face. The burns are second-grade, she has a minimal blood loss, but she cannot touch anything because of the pain. I already put some soothing ointment on the burns, but it's not proving to be a big help." Poppy describes the situation with haste and concern, and I approach the little blonde girl, examining her face up close.
„If the little miss had been paying attention to the order of the ingredients, and checking the temperature as I instructed, the potion would not have exploded in her face in the first place." Snape hisses at her, making her cry even harder, the tiny body trembling in my arms.
„Professor, she's a first-year! She has to endure enough suffering with this, there's no need for you to rub her mistake in her face too!" I burst out without looking at him, feeling pity for the girl who probably thinks she will never have a beautiful face again. Well, if it depends on me, think again. Poppy has a slight shock on her face seeing the audacity I have with Snape, and the mentioned professor glares at me, feeling insulted.
„I will not accept this tone from someone not even present at any of my classes." he growls at me, and my chest feels a spot of remorse, but I quickly shift my attention back to the patient I have to treat.
„Come dear, I will heal you in no time. Your face will be good as new, trust me." taking the small hand, leading her to the nearest bed, and instructing her to lay down. Snape has his eyes on me the whole time, I can feel him almost burning a hole in my nape. From the outside, he appears like his reason for watching my ministrations this intently is his concern for his first-year student. But his eyes are on me, not the girl, I can feel it. Staring became quite a habit of his since I stopped attending potions, whenever I pass him on the hallway-those very few times, or in the Great Hall if our paths cross, he always has his eyes on me. I thought about the meaning behind it, maybe this is his attempt to intimidate me? All I know, those eyes captivate me every time I see them, and I can't help but enjoy every second spent in his presence. Just like now.
I sit next to the whimpering wee mess on the bed, telling her to close her eyes, as I guide my strings into her head, and make quick work of rebuilding her skin and nerve structure. It takes me less than five minutes, and as I work on patch after patch, regrowing her skin to its place, I sense her breath of relief, telling me the pain has left her body. This little sigh of alleviation held such a great meaning to me, because it represented the person in pain reaching a small blissful point, where he or she was no longer prisoner of suffering. It was like the patient getting a huge gasp of air after being underwater for so long. For other people it might be something insignificant, but to me it has a huge value. It gets a stone off my heart when I hear it.
I finish up the petite lady, and I bring a handheld mirror to her, lifting it up, so she can see her face intact, no sign of burns whatsoever, not even a scar. Her face and hands are brand new. She places her fingers on her cheeks in astonishment, then she hugs me with the widest smile, sniffling thank you's in my robe. I reciprocate the hug, caress her long blonde hair, and tell her to eat plenty of vegetables today, she will need to restock the energy I just used up to rebuild her skin. Then, I send her off, hearing the bell signaling the start of next period. She skips to the door, waving to us, and disappearing from our sight. I am left with a smile and a warm feeling in my heart, helping people truly pays off emotionally.
„Impressive work, Miss." Snape's voice brings me back to the present moment. „I see your hard work with Madame Pomfrey bears fruit, quite plentiful, might I add." I hear recognition in his tone, but he squashes his compliment immediately with his next comment.
„It's a pity, you gaining this level of expertise on the expense of my classes." he drawls, with slight disdain and just a hint of jealousy in his eyes. Dear Merlin, he is truly unable to move on from my ditching, isn't he? What a child!
„You know very well, professor, that I am completing all my potion assignments and learning all the practical lessons too." I say with determination, not letting myself be defeated in this mini verbal spar.
„Yes. But not from me." he says with pride, turning to leave the infirmary. He nodded towards the matron and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
„Merlin, the thorn is quite deep in his ego for you switching out his class." huffed Poppy in disbelief.
The following week, I am immersed in reading; legilimency is for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Whenever I have a free minute, I'm reading. I even skip the Saturday trip to Hogsmeade, so I can go over more text, and put more knowledge in my head. When I told Drax, he applauded me, and said Lupin was indeed a great help, basically handing me the key to solve my searching. He promised me to keep his mouth zipped about my studies, and wished me good luck for becoming a pro mind-diver. I laughed at his suggestion to try legilimency on him, and I responded there's nothing in the world that I don't know about him, so it would be futile. Still, I didn't throw the idea entirely away. So now, on a quiet Sunday morning I am deep-diving in the last book in the Great Hall, eating breakfast, stuck on a chapter about how to tap into memory categories, and how to find something faster if we know exactly what we are searching for in someone's mind. The Hall barely has children in it, everyone is sleeping in, taking advantage of the weekend's loose schedule.
„Reading about legilimecy, are we?" comes a deep voice from my back, startling me, and I slam the book shut, turning around to face my scarer. „Now why would a young lady like you be interested in the art of mindreading? Who do you intend to spy on?" asks the dungeon bat towering over me, with a smug look on his face. He came with the intention of teasing, but I will not let him have his way that easy.
„What if I want to look inside your mind, professor?" I tease back, putting my elbows on the edge of the desk, leaning backwards. He raises his eyebrows a bit at my comment but responds with newfound confidence.
„Let me inform you Miss, that red snow will fall from the sky before you get the ability to enter my mind. But I'm glad I found the culprit who took every single book about legilimency from the library." He finished his sentence in a more laid-back manner.
„Do you need one of them? I'm currently reading the last one, so I can give the other ones to you if you'd like." I tell him matter-of-factly, raising the book in question to illustrate my words.
„There's no need. You can take them back to the library. The question I'm most curious about, however, is why didn't you ask me about legilimency, if you hold such great interest in it." he asked in a somewhat reproaching tone, with his hands behind his back.
„Well, I can't ask the gardener to teach me how to steal his plants, can I?" I ask teasingly, with a sly smile on my face, hoping to bring him down from his high horse. But his answer leaves me a little taken aback.
„Your perspective is wrong here. On the contrary, you should go directly to the gardener if you wish to steal his plants, giving he is the one who knows the properties of each plant, and how to take them without killing them in the process. And usually, the gardener has some tricks up his sleeve which are not mentioned in books, don't forget that." with the smugness returning to his features , he leaves me alone to finish my breakfast. Am I to understand he knows much more about legilimency than the books? For a second I truly consider the idea of asking for his help, but then I realize that would mean spending time with him, which I'm in the process of avoiding, thank you very much. I'm afraid of what could happen if I remained alone with Snape in a classroom, or in his office. Looking back to my last detention, only embarrassing things. So, even though I could kill to be in his presence and be all tingly, I would rather detour from having to spend time with him.
I decide to finish the book, and after I get them back safely to the library, I take on Drax's offer to practice my newly gained knowledge on him. We go back to the small classroom on the usually empty hallway, we want full privacy, and this time I conjure several locks on the door to avoid any teacher barging in on us. Not that they would see much. We push the desks apart, making space in the middle, I conjure two bigger pillows to sit on, and we settle on the floor, facing each other.
„I hope you won't leave me with my mind empty." Drax says jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, because, to be very honest, we are nervous. I never used legilimency on anyone before, and this is my first time testing it out, how it works when I'm in the middle of healing someone.
„I don't think I'll be able to actually steal your memories, Drax. But wait, we need an injury that needs healing if we want to test this out!" I tell him, realizing we didn't think this quite through.
„I got that covered." he says with a smirk, taking out a pocket knife from his robe, and in the blink of an eye, slashing his palm open, grunting loudly from the pain. I'm in complete shock by his sudden reckless act, and I jump to him, grabbing his wrist to see the deep cut.
„Drax! You idiot!" I exclaim, as I see the blood dripping to the floor between us.
„Sorry." he forces out the word between gritted teeth. „I had to do it fast. Surprise even myself, you know?" he squeezes an eye shut, and looks at me. „Do it."
I exhale the breath I didn't know I was holding in, and sit back onto my pillow. Reaching out my hand towards him, I let the strings come to life from my tips, they encircle his neck, and make their way to his nape. He huffs in discomfort, as he watches me, and I close my eyes as soon as the strings enter his brain. This is a familiar territory for me, I know every nook and cranny by now, but here, my main focus is not his body anymore. I divide my strings, making them go in two different directions, one to the body section, and the other to the memory bank. Healing his cut presents no difficulty, I just have to pull the separated skin tissue together and mend the blood vessels, so this part is a piece of cake. Entering his memory however is another question, because I find the door to his bank quite heavy upon first glance. This whole action looks like a miniature, translucent me is standing in his brain, manifested by my strings. As I see my hands glowing and almost transparent, a big smile runs across my lips. This is so cool. Once I put my hand on the knob, it opens easily like a feather's touch, I don't have to strain one muscle to invade his mind. I step inside, and marvel at the endless archive-like space, rows upon rows of tall shelves filled with books each shelf labeled with a description of an image or an emotion. Like the world's largest library. In a farther section, I can see metal cabinets with large drawers going in the infinite distance. I read about this in the books. The bookshelves are the short term memory, and current feelings; the much larger metal drawers are the long term memory, with all the finalized information stored securely. As I take a better look around me, I notice small pages flying around in the air, each page finding its spot and nestling itself into the correct book on the correct shelf. The image is marvelous. So this is how we store feelings and memories. I walk to the closest bookshelf, and cautiously place my hand on its side. My mind is instantly flooded with images of what Drax did in the last few days, how he felt and what his thoughts were in certain situations.
As a particularly flabbergasting piece of emotion comes in my sight, I immediately exit the bank, breaking the connection with Drax's brain and exclaim from my pillow, outraged.
„You're attracted to Vincent?!" my face is a mix of smile and shock, the discovery leaving me curious and concerned at the same time.
Vincent Vaarn, the nastiest, most cruel student of all Slytherin, a seventeen year old boy who likes to bully anyone whom he views as enemy. He is always seen with his two friends from the same house, Frodo and Rohan, although he considers them more like slaves than companion.
When did Drax develop feelings for the Vaarn kid? Furthermore, why didn't he tell me? And third of all, if said kid discovers anything about Drax and his feelings, my best friend will be ruined forever. Might as well pack his things in advance.
„Sorry, I wasn't quite certain of my feelings yet." he shifts his eyes downwards in shame, and this scenario gets way too familiar to me.
„Alright, that's fair, seeing I did the same when I discovered my attraction towards the bat. But when? And how? That jerk is a menace to society, he is the last person on earth you should be attracted to! Even his name translates to evil!" I say wide-eyed, tilting my head a bit to accentuate my intense reaction.
„I know... but... I don't know. I think I fancied him a bit since last year, and last week I guess I caught him in one of his good days, because he ran into me and then helped me collect my scattered books and parchments. Since that moment I think about him quite a lot." his voice dropped to a whisper, I can see the sheer fear and guilt in his eyes about his emotions, being fully aware just how dangerous they are and how much he is risking if he ever utters a word. I feel my heart crack for him, I just want to wrap him in a blanket and place him in my pocket, where he can be safe, but now all I can do is wrap my arms around him and caress his back, as I hear the boy slowly start to sniffle and cry softly on my shoulder. I feel the slight tremors of his torso, and I squeeze his body even closer to mine in order to soothe his pain. This was the only type of pain I could not alleviate, and it was driving me mad to no end. I could not mend the cracks on the heart. Tears gathered in my eyes too as empathy unfolded inside me.
„Well, Drax, I guess now we both have a Slytherin asshole to drool over and cry about." I let out a hearty laugh, infecting him too with my sparkle of humor and hearing him chuckle between sniffles giving me relief. I fully support this man here, and if he decided he's attracted to the poison ivy of Slytherin, then I shall provide him the necessary protective equipment, so he can touch him.