Chapter 8
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and soon, the summer became a deep fall. The cold fell over us. As I buttoned up from the cold, I glanced around. "My, what a chill we're having, indeed". "I'm very surprised we had a cold spell". "It never gets cold in Porvoo, I'm perturbed". I walked through my garden, seeing the flowers in all their likeness grow up, only to get frost on them. "Hmm, interesting". I scowled, seeing the leaves become crunchy with frost.
"Well, today at least I get to see my Moomin". "Thanksgiving is a special time". I said to myself, gleefully. "I love my Moomin, and his Snork Maiden". "My brother, my best friend". I was excited as I watered my flowers. I felt a loving embrace of happiness, and relief from my hip pain. I just went along with it, being optimistic. It was essential to my fervency.
The lighthouse was bustling with cooking, and the setting of the place mats. Moomintroll came in, seeing Snufkin. "Hey, kiddo". Snufkin said, gently. "It's good to see you". "You seem ready for Thanksgiving".
"I am". Moomintroll said. "I had Thanksgiving with my family every year, it was nice". "I enjoyed it".
"I remember having Thanksgiving at your house as well". "It was a fun time". Snufkin said, gently. "Thanksgiving was lovely".
"It was". Moomintroll said. "I loved seeing your Mama, your papa, everyone at the table, giving Thanks". "It was quite a superb time". Snufkin said, gently. He smiled a kind smile. "I wish Mama and Papa were still here with us". "They knew us well". Snufkin was aptly gentle. "Me too". Moomintroll said.
"Well, I made some mashed potatoes for everyone…consequently there's enough for seconds, and thirds, but we're good with anything". Madame said, gently. "Everyone can have as much as they like". Madame was even gentle today. "I made some more cranberry pudding as well".
"That's nice". Snork Maiden replied, as she set the table. Little My was nearby, as she rubbed her eyes. "I'm incredibly winded today". "I don't know if I can sit through supper".
"You can take a nap if you would like to, anywhere you like". Snufkin said, gently. "I have a bed upstairs in Muumin's room".
"Ok". Little My said, as she looked around. "Honey, I have some milk here for you, if you need some". Loyola said, gently. "Let's get comfortable, and lay down for a bit". Loyola helped Little My, to the table, as Little My sat down. Little My took a seat, ready to have some dinner. "Thank you for making supper". Little My said, as she sat down. "Of course". Madame Fillyjonk said, gently. "I'm happy to make this Thanksgiving one to remember for all of us".
"I know this year has been hard for everyone, but I assure you, things will get easier as time goes on". "Let's be assuaged of that for a while". Fillyjonk said, gently. "I hope to be". Moomintroll replied. Moomintroll sat down, eating his Turkey and mashed potatoes. I came in, greeting everyone as well. "Hello, happy Thanksgiving". "How is everyone?". I asked, gently. "We're doing quite well". Moomintroll said, quietly from his end. "Hello, my boy". "It is good to see you". "Have you been well?". I asked, gently.
"I've been ok". Moomintroll said, quietly as he hugged me. "Just ok?". "You seem as if you might do well". "I'm surprised you are feeling down". I said, gently. "Kind of". Moomintroll said. "I'm trying to do well, but it is kind of hard".
"I understand". I said, gently. "We all feel down sometimes, I feel down too". "You'll be alright, my boy". I hugged Moomintroll, gently.
"Thank you". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll glanced around, as he took his seat. "I love you, my boy". I said, gently. I smiled a kind smile. "I love you too". Moomintroll said. I sat beside Moomintroll. I knew my Moomintroll was having a hard day. "Let's come to dinner now, Little My". Snufkin said, kindly as he visited Little My on the couch. Little My just looked upwards. "Ok". Little My replied. Little My walked with her brother, and Snork Maiden to the table. Snork Maiden's parents had come as well. "Why don't you sit a while, darling?". Mrs. Hanover, Snork Maiden's adoptive mother said, gently. "Sure, that sounds alright". Snork Maiden said, as she sat down. The food was shimmering with smoke on the table, as some bread, and rolls were put out as well. "This looks nice". Snork Maiden said, as she glanced down. "I believe it does, as well". Moomintroll said. "That, and we have Madame Fillyjonk to thank". "She did a wonderful job".
"She truly did". Little My added. "She truly is a spectacle".
"...Little My". Snufkin said, gently. "Don't be loud now".
"No, I agree with her, wholeheartedly". "She truly did do a good thing". "I'm impressed". Moomintroll said. "Thank you". Madame Fillyjonk said. Madame sat beside her children and Elliot. "She did do so well". Snufkin said. We all nodded in agreement. "Well, thank you, now, who would like to say the blessing?". Madame asked, as she sniffled a bit. There was a degree of melancholy sadness about us. "I would". Moomintroll said, in a formal manner. We all sat, bowing our heads, as Moomin prayed.
"Lord, we ask that you bless our meal with grace, tenacity, love and strength". "In Christ's name we pray, amen".
We all lifted our heads, then getting to eating. "Well, this is nice, being here in our lighthouse". "I knew somehow, Jesus would bring us together for a reason". I said, with wisdom, as I ate some Turkey. "In some way, it is nice". Snork Maiden said, as she ate her potatoes. "The lighthouse is a special place…for many of us". "I would tend to believe".
"I would say the lighthouse is a good place, for anyone to find fortune in". "I've got some real estate, I'm sure you and Moomin would find comfort in creating a future here". Snufkin said. "I've got some things here, you and Moomintroll would be essential in".
"I am excited to live in the lighthouse, it would be nice to have my own place, with my boyfriend that I can begin a future in". Snork Maiden said. "I don't know….I'd have to sure I'm mature enough before I can invest in my own place". "It does sound like a huge responsibility".
"I think you can handle it". I said, gently. "As long as you're with your love, and your man".
"I can handle it". Snork Maiden said. "I think I can handle it, too". "I'll be where my parents left off". "It is a nice change of pace". Moomintroll said. "I just hope Madame Fillyjonk is ok with it".
"What do you think, Madame?". Moomintroll asked. "I think it's a wonderful idea, but only if you're ok being on your own". Fillyjonk replied, kindly. "You should be close to your mama and papa…..I feel bad for treating you so horribly, and…yelling at you….making you feel less than welcome". "It makes me feel ripped, and torn inside".
"I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me". Fillyjonk said, gently. "I know it can be hard to, but I….I never meant any ill feelings". "I now know what I was doing and saying was wrong".
"It's ok…I forgive you". Moomintroll said. "I just…I feel like now….more than ever….is hard because what I've tried….and what I've succeeded in, aren't the same". "But I wish there can be forgiveness". "In some way….with you".
"Thank you, honey". "Know that I don't mean anything ill….I just want everything to be alright". "Can we be friends again?". Fillyjonk asked, gently. "We can". Moomintroll said. "We can be friends again".
Fillyjonk smiled from across the table, as she sniffled. "Well, that's nice you forgive one another". "Forgiveness is something we all need to essent with". Snufkin said. "I love forgiving my friends".
"I do, too". Moomintroll said. "It is something wonderful". I agreed. "See, I knew she would come around one day". "We just needed to wait".
"I know". Moomintroll said. "She does love you". I said, gently. "We all love each other, regardless of what happened to us". Little My said. "We need to coexist with one another, too".
"That is true". I said, kindly. "If we coexist, we can do anything". "The world needs to know that now, more than ever".
"I've noticed that". Snork Maiden said. "It seems we're the only ones that know how to, compared to the rest of the world".
"The world needs to know that we can solve problems, if we just get along, and learn to do what we need to do".
"I agree". Mrs. Hanover said, gently. "Things would be easier if we were friends". Little My said.
"Luckily, I have my best friend right here". Mrs. Hanover said, gently, kissing Snork Maiden on the cheek. "Thanks, Mama". Snork Maiden said, closing her eyes as she turned pink, blushing. Moomintroll looked on in happiness. I took the liberty of rubbing Moomintroll's back, gently. I knew my Moomintroll was someone I loved. I was just as happy eating Thanksgiving dinner with him.
"So, what are your thoughts on me moving into the Lighthouse?". Snork Maiden asked her parents. "Well, we're in full support, but we will miss you a lot". "Never hesitate to come visit us when you find the time". Mr. and Mrs. Hanover said. "The lighthouse is a huge responsibility to keep". "Are you sure you're ready to endure that kind of tremor?".
"I am". Snork Maiden replied, finishing her plate. This led Mrs. Hanover to state something quite fully. "We have been there for you, since the dawn of our time". "We know you're someone who loves being independent….even in the early days".
Snork Maiden took a drink of her milk. "Well, I do know that somehow, when my birth mother died, I had to uphold the responsibility of being by myself….lest I be in an orphanage all my life". Snork Maiden said. "I had to be responsible….because without that responsibility, I would be lost". "But I do thank you for adopting me when you did".
"Well, we're happy that you and Snork are independent….but it hasn't been an easy road for you….even from the beginning". Mrs. Hanover said, solemnly, finishing her plate. "It hasn't….but I made it through….even though now, more than ever….it still haunts me". Snork Maiden said, sniffling. "It still haunts you?". Little My asked. "well….I've been having nightmares, I've been having memories…it has been very painful". "I've tried my best….but nothing seems to be working". Snork Maiden said, sniffling. "I've loved being in the lighthouse, though". "It's lovely".
"The lighthouse is a nice place". Moomintroll said. "I've found comfort in the lighthouse as well".
"But the nightmares have simmered down….for now, things have been peaceful…but it still isn't the easiest thing". "I suffer quite a bit". Snork Maiden said. "I understand". Mr. Hanover said. "I wonder what we could do in the meantime to help".
"Perhaps, nothing". Snork Maiden said. "Perhaps now is the time to let things go by, and know that everything has a stopping point". "I'll get through it….I always have". "Thank you for the offer, though". Snork Maiden sniffled. Snork Maiden sat down, glancing around. "I hope everyone understands". Snork Maiden said, sniffling. "We do". Mrs. Hanover said, gently. "It'll be quite alright, I promise you".
"Thanks, mama". Snork Maiden said. Snork Maiden sniffled, as she glanced around. "I'm ok….it's just hard as of now". Snork Maiden said. "I'm trying, though".
"You're doing well". I said, gently. "We believe you can do anything". I smiled a kind smile. Snork Maiden smiled as well. As we ate, Moomintroll looked across at Snork Maiden with a loving smile. "It'll be alright, I promise". Moomintroll said. "I know". Snork Maiden said. There was a silence as everyone kept eating their food. Moomintroll ate his food, only looking upwards when it was necessary. "I love you". Snork Maiden said, across her side to Moomintroll. "I love you, too". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll glanced around, eating his food. Snufkin smiled as he ate some of his food. There was a reflective silence as everyone ate their plates. Moomintroll knew it had been a hard time. Luckily, everyone was headed towards the side of peace.
When dessert was served, everyone ate. Afterwards, the table was cleaned, as everyone walked around. Moomintroll sniffled, looking outwards towards the shoreline. The fillies flew by, just sticking to the window, as they seemed to stay there, like bugs to a window. Still, the fillies were full as well. Moomintroll sniffled, feeling the cold of the ocean against his face. The door was gently nudged open, as Madame Fillyjonk came outside. "Moomin". Fillyjonk said, gently with softness. Moomintroll looked behind him. "Yes?". He asked. "Is it alright if we talk?". Fillyjonk asked, gently. "I guess". Moomintroll said. Fillyjonk smiled a gentle smile, sharing a spot on the Verandah. "You have a very nice view here, I think you'll be able to do a lot with this". Fillyjonk said, gently.
"I'm sure I will". Moomintroll said. "The lighthouse does need a little renovation, or something of that nature". "I'm sure I could fix it up or something of that nature". "It does need what it can have".
"You'd do well in the lighthouse, honey". "It is an ideal spot for anyone". Fillyjonk said, gently. "Lighthouses are spectacles for anyone to bestow upon".
"I'm happy you found a home you can call yours". Fillyjonk said, gently. "But I truly am sorry for how I've been treating you". "I know it's not easy to contend with…but I hope you can forgive me". "I mean well….I truly do". Fillyjonk sighed as she said this.
"It's ok….I forgive you". Moomintroll said. "I know it wasn't easy….but I guess….I guess things are only as easy as they come". "They weren't easy for either of us". "I'm glad we could come to terms, and put this behind us".
"I'm happy, too". Madame said, gently. "You know….I love you deeply….and I wish the best for us in the future". "You know I never meant any harm towards us….I love us…the same way I loved your mama and papa". "And your mama and papa loved me".
"I believe so". Moomintroll said. "Mama and papa meant a lot to me….and it was nice that you took care of me all of that time".
"I understand". Madame said, kindly. "I just wanted you to be safe….and now…I know you can be…but I guess now, you're much more mature…you're growing up…and you are ready to move out on your own…with your friend". "You're at that point where you have matured, fully". "You can do anything you wish to".
"I think so, too". Moomintroll said. "I'm at the point where I can be anything I wish…but I'll miss you". "Thank you for taking good care of me, in the meantime". Moomintroll smiled.
"Of course, honey". "And you know you are welcome to stay anytime you like". "I'm always available". Madame said, gently. "Thank you". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll smiled as he looked up at the cloudy sky. "I love you, my friend". Madame Fillyjonk said, gently. "You are my everything, and I am so glad to have you as a friend". Fillyjonk came around to hug Moomintroll gently. Moomintroll accepted the hug with love, and friendship as he hugged Fillyjonk back, gently. Fillyjonk had some love in her eyes as she hugged her best friend. "I forgive you….it's ok, now". Moomintroll said. They both hugged, sharing as they kept it close with one another. It was their entropy. As the clouds in the sky came closer together to form rain, Moomintroll felt appreciation from Fillyjonk in all of his glory. Life was becoming better for him. It was becoming better for everyone.
The Snork Maiden sat on the Verandah, looking upwards. She seemed to be in a state of dreamy essence. Snork Maiden nodded, praying as she looked upwards, finding her parents as she began crying. Her crying was met with the essence of grief. Someone familiar came on the Verandah, smoking his cigarette. "I'm surprised you came to the lighthouse, and didn't inform me". The Muskrat said, playfully, as he chuckled. "A party is not a party without a philosopher enlightening everyone with observation".
"You might be boring everyone by enlightening them". Snork Maiden said. "A party without stimulating conversation is one that I don't wish to be a part of". The Muskrat said, gently. "In other aspects, a party is a wonderful place to share knowledge". "One of these days, you and I need to attend a banquet, or a salon".
"A salon is where intellectuals gather, meet, and talk about subjects that interest them". Snork Maiden said. "It originated in the 18th Century in France".
"It did, indeed". The Muskrat said, gently with a kind smile. "There were a few in the 17th Century, yet the 18th Century was what did it". "How did you know that audacious fact?".
"I just read quite a bit….that to which Mama and Papa read Chaucer, as well as Charlotte Bronte to us before we go to bed". Snork Maiden said. "My brother, Snork and I".
"It has a likeness to it that can't be met anywhere else". Muskrat said, gently. "Wuthering Heights is a classic to any female reader". "The Abbott Sisters".
"The outcome cannot, will not, and has not, matched the expectation". Snork Maiden said, quoting "Wuthering Heights".
"That much is true". Muskrat said, gently. "Never give forth what you're expected not to get". He quoted another Bronte tale.
"That's nice, we know Bronte". "Another fascinating thing to discuss". Muskrat said, gently. "I believe so". Snork Maiden said. "Well, how are you?". "I hear that the lighthouse is now yours". "You have a boyfriend to share it with". Muskrat said, gently. "That's good to hear".
"It is….but….I am kind of sad about leaving my brother behind". "And my mama and papa". Snork Maiden said. "I feel like it is something I can't fathom….even if I try to".
"I understand". Muskrat said, gently. "It can be hard leaving home at first". "Leaving home is something that takes a lot of tenacity and growth". "We both need what we need in order to leave home".
"You'll be good with it, though". "I'm sure with your friend by your side, you can do anything". Muskrat said, kindly. "Nothing to worry about, darling".
"My curiosity comes to call: Are you and Snork biologically related?". Muskrat asked, gently. "You both come from the same birth mother?".
"Yes". Snork Maiden said. "We come from the same birth mother….the one that died when we were young".
"Hmm". Muskrat said, gently. "Well, that's nice". "You and your biological brother doing great things together". "Are you both close to one another?".
"We are". Snork Maiden said. "We have been close ever since our birth mother passed away". "We do fight sometimes, but we ultimately fight for one another in dire situations". "We still sleep in the same living room, we still stay close, talk to one another at night". "It was just last year we left the nursery, and redecorated".
"We would tell stories of Odin and his boat across the water sky, we would tell stories of Gremlins, Princesses, and Princes in faraway kingdoms". "We used to have midnight talks, before we went to sleep". Snork Maiden said.
"Hmm". Muskrat said, gently. "It is important to have a relationship with your brother". "Siblings are something we have a gift of". "Even from the beginning, we have a relationship".
"I know you and Snork were close, in many ways". "I'm very happy for you". Muskrat said, gently. "I know you'll miss that, so much".
"I will". Snork Maiden said. "I'll miss my family….but I'll visit them quite a bit". "I guess".
"What was your relationship with your birth mother like?". Muskrat asked, kindly. Muskrat smiled a gentle smile. "well…I don't remember a lot because my birth mother died when I was 3 years old….my birth father died a week later". Snork Maiden said, solemnly, telling her story. "My birth mother would play with me….she would hug me…..she would tell me she loved me….she was the best". "I love my birth mother….even though she's in heaven now".
"Mmm, your birth mother used to hold you close when you were just a small Maiden….just a baby….she would nuzzle you….kiss you….lick your head to clean you…hum, and sing softly to you….and tell you she loved you, deeply". Muskrat said, in a gentle, soft, whispery voice. The smoker's depth was still there, prevalent in his voice. "She was nurturing to you…even in the most difficult of times". "She loved you, and Snork….you both were her greatest gifts". Muskrat smoked his cigarette. "I guess". Snork Maiden said. "I feel like….I've kind of….tried, even though it feels like I didn't do anything". "I don't know". Snork Maiden sniffled.
"Well, remember that you did try to save your birth mother in the best way". Muskrat said, gently. "You are her child, both you and Snork". "A child is a mother's greatest gift, and greatest accomplishment". "I know it's painful being away from your birth mother…..it was possibly painful seeing her pass away". "Being away from someone so natural to your development…to the person you are now". "Being away from the milk, stimulation, and love, nurturing, is difficult". "But you have become someone so loving, and smart, intelligent, because you have loving adoptive parents".
"I do". Snork Maiden said, as she looked around. "I owe a lot of the lessons I've learned, the morals I've developed, and the essences I've come by, to them". "They are amazing parents….and I'm happy I have them….but I've been troubled by the nightmares I've had of my birth parents". "I've been plagued by a lot of nightmares….and a lot of things". "I don't know how to make it better".
"Hmm". Muskrat said, as he nodded. "I do have a curiosity…what was that day like for you?". "What happened….on the day she died?". Muskrat whispered a bit. I was on the Verandah, overhearing a bit, as well. I do tend to eavesdrop quite a bit. "well….I remember….I remember seeing her in bed….she died of cancer….and she closed her eyes….she never opened them". "I thought she was sleeping….but I didn't know she wouldn't wake up….I just thought…she was sleeping…..I didn't understand why she didn't wake up". Snork Maiden said, sniffling. "I was led away from the bedside, with my brother….and went away". "We had a funeral….but Snork and I were put in the orphanage before we could attend". "A week later, we were adopted, and we went with my adoptive parents…..I have a picture of my birth mother, too". "She was a wonderful woman".
There were tears in the corner of Snork Maiden's eyes, as she turned a greenish bluish color, out of sadness. "I understand". Muskrat said, gently, as he whispered. He blew out cigarette smoke. "Well, in some ways….it is only right to grieve….but in some ways….it is right to forgive what happened to your birth parents". "That way we can provide some closure to what happened, and how it happened". "Remember that with nurturing….you never had any developmental, or psychological problems….you were quite alright". "Now, all we need is some love, and understanding". "Love and understanding is what brings us peace". Muskrat said, kindly.
"These are Lion's ashes, scatter them into the sea….and pray after doing this….this is a representation of forgiveness". Muskrat said, gently. Muskrat smiled a gentle smile. "I understand". Snork Maiden said. Snork Maiden took the ashes of an African Lion, (male lion), (in case anyone wanted to know), as she scattered them throughout the sea, while the cold wind blew them into the sea. "I forgive the Lord for what happened". Snork Maiden said, staring pensively out into the sea. "I forgive Jesus….I know what happened, happened for a reason". "Everything will be ok". "I know so". Snork Maiden sniffled, as she began crying. She wiped away her tears, trying to be strong. "I forgive what happened….I know no one is at fault….and that everything will be ok". "Everything happens for a reason….and the reason is to make me the best person I know I can be". "well….I hope you forgive me too". Snork Maiden said. Snork Maiden spent some time, praying as she seemed to hear a voice from beyond the sea. She heard a voice from beyond the sound. Even so, she prayed, as a smile came over her face….as if a supernatural element….or metaphysical element made her happy. Snork Maiden smiled, taking her hands out of prayer, as she stood up. The tears rolled down, as she sniffled.
"Is everything ok, honey?". Muskrat asked, gently. "Everything is ok". Snork Maiden said. "Thank you". Snork Maiden smiled as she glanced around. Her eyes seemed to focus, and shift glance onto some other prevalences. She seemed content in her own manners. As I stood off to the side, I could see she was in distress. She was coming into her own. I noticed my Snork Maiden was in a good place. "Darling, I'm glad you were able to find peace". "I know it's been a hard process". Muskrat said, gently. "It was….but I'm glad to have the family I have…and the love I was able to receive from my family". Snork Maiden said. "Life is better because of my family". "The family is the best thing".
"It truly is". Muskrat said, gently. "Your family loves you, because of who you've been to them". "The love, and strength you've given to them". "You, and your brother are a gift, you both can do anything you put your mind to". "You are everything to everyone….because of your gifts". Muskrat smiled a gentle smile, tapping the ash from his cigarette. "Never doubt yourself". "Be the strength you have been, and love yourself, because you are amazing". Muskrat's deep voice had the rasp of a smoker's quality.
"I know". Snork Maiden said. "I'm doing what I can". "Thank you for the concern". She sniffled, wiping the tears away. "Of course, darling". Muskrat said, gently. He smoked the last stub of his cigarette, as he put it out with his foot. "Mmm, how entropic". Muskrat said, licking his lips, in satisfaction. "Ahh well".
"You look like you need a hug, beautiful". "Can I offer you one?". Muskrat asked, gently. He smiled a gentle smile, hugging Snork Maiden. Snork Maiden hugged Muskrat, as she felt his wet, tar-ridden kiss against her cheek. Ash-ridden. Snork Maiden felt much better as she walked back into the lighthouse. Everyone seemed to be watching television, sitting around, as their eyes seemed glued to the television. Back in those days, a dial was used to change the channels. Snork Maiden seemed to be in a good place as she sat down in front of the television…content. Little My sat beside her. The little baby boomers sat in front of the T.V. watching intently, as they ate their chocolate-covered truffled marshmallows. As the only one from the Greatest Generation, and the oldest in the room, I set to my knitting, and my crotcheting. Everyone else seemed to be busy, eating their desserts, and talking, as I felt more discerning hip pain. My hips….oh, they ache, and smart with every nuance of hurt. I just went along with it, not even letting the smarting, and simmering pain affect me anymore, even though it burns now. I just let it happen, opting to lay down after a while. My body is getting old…emaciated, and slovenly. Yet, for a good reason, or another, my mind is still intact. I let it go, knowing that it was going to be ok. Even if the pain is too much to bear. My time is upon me. For now, I'll enjoy what I have left, here in Moominvalley. Hmm….obstreperous, isn't it?