Chapter 7
Moomintroll awoke, as he visited the verandah. Snufkin was outside. "Hey, ol chum". Snufkin said, calmly as he smoked his cigarette. Snufkin smiled a gentle smile, glancing around. "It's good to see you".
"Thank you". Moomintroll said. "How's things going, chap?". "Life treating you well?". Snufkin asked, gently. Snufkin smiled a kind smile. "It's quite alright". Moomintroll said. "I feel kind of saddened, though".
Snufkin was shirtless on the Verandah. "Why's that?". Snufkin asked, gently. Snufkin smiled a kind smile. "I kind of have been thinking about my parents….how they passed away". "I don't have parents anymore". Moomintroll said, sniffling. "It hurts". Moomintroll looked as if he was about to cry.
"Sometimes, grief can be hard to assiduate". "Grief is a complex thing that no one seems to know how to do unless they've done it for a while". Snufkin said, gently. "I know grieving can be harder for some, for others, it can be ok".
"You'll get through it". "I promise you will". "Sometimes, the worst thing is the beginning". "I went through the same thing when my parents passed". Snufkin said, kindly as he smoked his cigarette. "The beginning is the worst part, because feelings are new, and the wounds are fresh". "But I assure you, time will give us all we need, and forgiveness will get us in a good position". "Do you forgive what happened?".
"I do". Moomintroll said. "At least I'm trying to, for now". Moomintroll sniffled. "I think you're doing a magnificent job". "Keep at being kind, and altruistic". "Altruism wins over vengeance, and cruelty". Snufkin said, gently. "Love gives us kindness, and forgiveness". Snufkin smiled a gentle smile. "I'll definitely try". Moomintroll said. "It's worth a shot".
"I'd give it a chance, see where it goes". Snufkin said, gently. "You may be surprised in the long run".
"That is true, I just might be". Moomintroll replied. "Things will go smoothly, if I just believe in myself". Moomintroll looked up at Snufkin, as Snufkin smiled a gentle smile. "I know it's hard now, it usually does hurt, but I promise you, things will be just fine". "We just have to believe''. Snufkin said, gently. Snufkin and Moomintroll smiled. Moomintroll found a friendly smile behind Snufkin's cloud of smoke. Still, there, he found solace in what was. My Moomintroll was in a good place. We all were, even as the morning stretched itself out before us.
I found solace on the precipice, smoking my cigarette, as I let the nicotine fill within my lungs. I let the cloud of smoke surround me, while I kept the entity of smoking. "Mmm". I hummed to myself, as I smoked. Moomintroll eventually came outside, glancing around. "Hello, my boy". I said, gently. I smiled a kind smile, blowing out my bout of smoke. "How are things by you?". "You seem to be doing well". I said, gently as I tapped some ash from my cigarette. "I am". Moomintroll said. "I think I have finally found peace here". "The only thing is, Madame Fillyjonk letting me stay here".
I nodded, as I pursed my lips a bit. "I think the Madame would be more than happy to let you stay". I said, gently. "She is a kind person, she only wishes the best for you, just as we all do". "We know it's a lot, knowing that Madame Fillyjonk is someone of discipline, but she is someone that is deeply rooted in her methodologies". "She needs structure in order to do well".
"I'm sure there is an understanding". "We all have different strengths and weaknesses". "I'm sure if you both are diplomatic to one another, and find a commonality, there will be love, and kindness". I said, gently. "Don't fret what you cannot understand". "Accept, and know that change is the only constant".
"I know". Moomintroll said. "Maybe you are right, change is the only constant". "Now, I know that I have to grow up, and move into the lighthouse with Snork Maiden". "I have to be the responsible orphan I know I have to be, and come into my own". "I have to do the right thing, and be true to what my heart wants…..even if that means going away from Madame Fillyjonk". I could see genuine truth, and wisdom behind Moomintroll's statement. Moomintroll knew that it was time for him to mature, and become someone that relied on himself. But I also wanted my Moomintroll to be safe. "I know right now may seem like the right time, but I also wish for you to be safe, my boy". "You've taken on a lot when your parents passed away". I said, gently. "Be safe, and know that life is something we all should try and live to the fullest". "I want you to enjoy yourself, and not have to worry of taking on too much".
"I'm ok, truly I am". Moomintroll said. "I'm someone that has tried many things, and known that the responsibility of perseverance is one to uphold".
"I understand, my boy". I said, gently. "You are someone who is responsible, and loving". "But sometimes, I am concerned that you take on too much". "You are young, you need to enjoy what you have in front of you, and forgive others". "Forgiveness is a virtue seen by many who are spiritually mature". "You have many spiritual aspects, I know this one will be seen as well". I tried to be as nurturing as I could. Moomintroll raised his head. "Madame Fillyjonk, Mr. T.S. Elliot, no one will understand….I actually feel most at peace when I'm in the lighthouse". "The lighthouse is what my parents had, and they felt fine with it". Moomintroll said. "I need to feel the peace I know I can feel, when I'm within the lighthouse".
"I can't stay with Madame Fillyjonk". "I have to be in the lighthouse….I have to move on….and be true to myself…..my mama and papa, and Snork Maiden". Moomintroll said. "I have to grow up, now, and be who I am, be true to myself". Moomintroll sniffled as he said this. I could tell my Moomintroll was true to his words. I wasn't one to impose beliefs, or opinions onto him, strictly. It never is smart to. It's more indignant than anything. My beard sort of narrowed itself. "I understand, son". I said, gently with kindness. "I know that's how you feel, and I would never wish to impose on that". "You have grown a tremendous amount, and I know you have matured to the point of making wise decisions". "With your wisdom, you can do anything you wish, and I know you'll change the lives of everyone you are about to influence in your future". "You are changing the life of your Snork Maiden friend". "You will do great things one day". a smile came across, as I blew out some more smoke. "I hope so". Moomintroll said. "I'm trying my best….I know I am".
"Never to worry, my boy". I said, gently with resounding kindness. "You will go on to make yours and Snork Maiden's world, much livelier, and filled with adventure". "Life will be kind to you, I know it will, my boy". I patted Moomintroll's shoulder, gently. "I sure hope it does….because I want my family….that I will build to have the perfect life I know my parents would want them to have". Moomintroll said, as he sniffled. "You will, one day my boy". "You will, and you always have". I said, gently. Moomintroll looked out over the balcony, seeing the familiar light from the previous night….the ice blue light from across the sound, light up again. Moomintroll felt impressed. I felt impressed that I had a close friendship with my Moomintroll.
Moomintroll glanced around as he straightened his gaze. "Well, it was nice to see". Moomintroll said. "Indeed, it was". I said, gently. "I think I'll go inside now….and lay back down for a few moments". Moomintroll said, as he crept back into the house. "Well, I'll see you when you wake up, Poika". I said, gently. "Ok". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll went back inside, seeing everyone abuzz and awake, as coffee was being made with the French press, and the smell of cigarette smoke was in the air. This made Moomintroll cough a bit. Moomintroll looked around, as he went upstairs to his bed. As he went upstairs, he turned down the covers, sleeping in his bed, soundly. That is, until Snufkin came in. "hey, guten spein, Muumin". Snufkin said, gently. "How are you, old chap?". "Sleepy this morning?".
"Kind of". Moomin lamented, dryly, as he glanced from the side of his covers, wishing not to be bothered. "You don't mind if we talk for a bit, do you?". "I knew you might be in here, I was curious to see you". Snufkin said, gently. Snufkin hoisted himself up, laying on the bed. "Well, go right ahead". Moomin said, dryly. He batted his eyes a bit. "You don't sound happy to see me, old friend". Snufkin said, gently. "Does my ol' chum admire a certain Maiden?". "Is she affecting your mood, and body?".
"No….um….eww, ugh, and I don't know how that got out". Moomintroll retorted in disgust. Snufkin smiled a dainty, yet comprehensible, annoying smile. As if he was making someone uncomfortable. Ahh, Snufkin. Always a Finnish, he is. "Well, how are things, Muumin?". "You feeling better, I know you talked to mama and papa before". "How are things with them?". Snufkin asked, gently. "They're ok". "I kind of like that I have the lighthouse now….and I get to share with Snork Maiden". Moomintroll said. "Snork Maiden is someone I like a lot".
"Snork Maiden does care a lot for you". Snufkin said, gently, putting a paw on the sheets. "And you care a lot for her, I think you both have a potential romance in the making". "One of these days, you'll go on to marry her, just as I've married my Loyola". "You both are mature, wise, and forthcoming, I think there is a loving future with the both of you". Snufkin said, gently. He brushed the sheets with his paw, turning over a bit. His deep voice was set against the pillows, as his breathing was strained from smoking. "You can do anything you wish to". Snufkin smiled a gentle smile. "I hope I can". Moomintroll said. "I'm sure the lighthouse will be fine in my possession". "Well….in our possession, because I would never overtake a lady on ownership of anything".
"I know you wouldn't". Snufkin said, gently. "The lighthouse is a gift to both of you".
"It certainly is". Moomintroll said. Snufkin smiled a gentle smile. "But I don't know how I'm going to pay for it….because I was fired from my job". Moomintroll said, as he sniffled. "Well, I'm sure you'll find a way, in some fashion, somehow". Snufkin said, gently. "There's no need to be worried about it". "My guess is that Mama and Papa gave you money somewhere down the line, and now, it's time to use it". "Mama and Papa usually do that sort of thing".
"They did….but the government took it". Moomintroll said. "They took it away for external use….and did away with the likes of it".
"Hmm". Snufkin nodded, as he sat upright. "Money is a bonding aspect, I wouldn't be surprised if the government was distilling it". "Hmm, what a keen thing".
Snufkin smiled, as he giggled a bit. "Wouldn't it be something if we threw money away?". "Like crumpled it up, and threw it in the trash?".
"Only you would be keen on that". Moomintroll said. They both laughed. "I'm just a measly man". "My wife should never let me out of her sight". Snufkin said, giggling childishly. "I'm just a man, I don't know which way is up, which way is down". "All the more for me to run and hide". Snufkin laughed as he kept amusing himself. "Good to know, wise to find out". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll got out of bed, looking around. While he did look around, he found the canned food Mrs. Fillyjonk had packed away for him. He had refused to eat it. Moomintroll glanced around, as he knew it was getting close to the time he was to be heading home.
Moomintroll made his bed, opting to come downstairs to the main area. Even there, it was a calm scene. He felt at-peace in the lighthouse, with Snufkin, Loyola, and the couples. What he hadn't banked on was the anger Madame Fillyjonk held for him at home.
Moomintroll came to the house, cleaning up his mess when he had finished eating supper. Madame stomped in, snatching the trash bag away from Moomintroll, angrily as she tore it open. "Set to cleaning this up, imbecile!". "Idiot, retard, you claim to have a photographic memory, remember what you did when you left this mess!". Madame screamed. "You've never truly worked hard at anything, or even seen yourself as on par with us". "You only do what you see fit, and that is extremely selfish!". She never hit Moomintroll, only slammed things, and screamed. "Never wished to do the simplest task….that is what got you terminated!". "If you have even the slightest bit of an IQ point above 30, you will do as you're told!". Madame said, coldly. Madame's voice boomed as shrill, and as extraneous as a roll of thunder followed by lightning.
Moomintroll nodded, picking up the remaining garbage. He felt an emptiness inside him as he picked up the garbage. He sniffled, wishing and willing himself away. "Yes, Madame". He said, in a small voice. Moomintroll sniffled as he picked up the garbage. He seemed to be just an innocent being, an innocent young man, that just wished to have a peaceful evening. Moomintroll's depression only seemed to worsen as he came close to the Madame, wanting to make amends. "I don't think I wish to be talked to by someone with an IQ below 100".
"Go to bed, this instant!". Madame Fillyjonk snapped, as she stomped to her room. "Alright, Madame". Moomintroll said as he collected the garbage, going into his room. He seemed sullen, though the yellow moon glowed through the window. Moomintroll "Go to bed, this instant!". Madame snapped. Moomintroll walked away, going over to his bedroom, laying down. The yellow moon seemed to shine through the window, as Moomintroll sat on the sill, petting a rabbit, "Mon", as he sat still, small eyes blinking in the moonlight. The rabbit was gray and white. Moomintroll petted him, softly as he turned his head a bit. "Time for bed". Moomintroll said, sniffling. "Let's lay down, now".
Moomintroll petted the rabbit, sniffling as he did so, Madame Fillyjonk was in a bad mood. Through the walls, Moomintroll could hear another sound….the sound of Fillyjonk crying. Moomintroll sniffled, as his heart weakened. The rabbit seemed to lay down, closing his eyes.
It was then that I appeared. "Hello, son". "How are things?". I asked, gently. "I'm doing well". Moomintroll said, as he sniffled. "I just…. I just kind of…..I don't know". "I don't like the Madame". "She treats me horribly".
I smiled an understanding smile. "The Madame means well". "She's someone who appreciates rules and guidelines". "I'm sure over time, your relationship will better itself". "Parents are a complex thing, but with a little luck, we can do anything we wish to". I said, gently. "I know you mean well, Moomin". "You always have". I smiled a gentle smile. "That's why you are my boy". "My boy, forever and ever". I smiled a kind smile, kissing Moomintroll's forehead, gently. "I know, thank you". Moomintroll said. "Thank you for being my friend". I smiled a gentle smile, a kind, somewhat soft smile, so soft and cuddly, it was disgusting. "Of course, my boy". "I have, and will always, love you because you are my hero".
"Thank you, Grandpa Jatuk". Moomintroll said, sniffling. "I have some tea and cookies we can share if you wish". I said, gently. "That, and it was a fun time staying at the lighthouse, wasn't it?".
"It was". Moomintroll said. "I liked seeing the seafillies". "They mean a lot to me….and I appreciate them". "I will always love having the seafillies".
"They mean a lot to me as well". I said, gently. "I used to have fillies at my window side every evening before bed". "They would come, sit by the window, and talk to me before bed". "They would say things such as, "if you are intelligent, is the mind the center of being?". "And if happiness is dominated by experiences, why do we have thoughts, and the ability to think?". "Philosophical questions".
"The fillies were unkind to my family when we moved to the lighthouse". Moomintroll said. "Mmm, perhaps they wished for food, and familiarity". "They don't like newcomers". I explained, kindly.
"The fillies are like an elderly person". "They wish for familiarity, tradition, and favoritism". "They listen only to what they wish to hear".
"They are stubborn, then". Moomintroll said. "Yes, they are a bit stubborn, and crass". I said, gently. "But they are gentle creatures when one gets to know them". "I've come to love the fillies".
"Me too". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll looked upwards, as he sniffled. "There's a lot of potential that comes with thought". "The fillies gave us that potential". "As did the lighthouse itself". I said, gently. I glanced around, smiling. "I hope you and Snork Maiden find love in the lighthouse". I said, gently. I let my smile dawn into love, and caressing. "Me too". Moomintroll said.
"I found love there with my late wife, and we spent our time being fervent". I said, kindly. "Me too". Moomintroll said. Moomintroll found solace in sleep as he laid his head back against the pillow. "There there, my boy". "Hope is within you, just rest now, you'll be ok". I said, gently, tucking Moomintroll under the covers. I kissed both of his cheeks, gently. I know Moomintroll needed it. He needed love from someone who knew him best. Someone who had been there, ever since he was a young Moomin.
Moomintroll slept, as I crept into the other room where Mrs. Fillyjonk was crying. She had cried for a long time, as her eyes were baggy with exhaustion. "Madame". I said, gently with kindness. I smiled a gentle smile. "Madame Fillyjonk, is everything alright?".
"Everything seems to be doing alright…perhaps". Fillyjonk said, sniffling. "I saw you were upset, Madame". "May I ask if you are alright?". I asked, kindly. "Well, I was grieving over my deceased husband". Madame said, sniffling. "He and I have been married 22 years, and all of a sudden, he died". "It grieves me to this day, and I wonder now if I made the right decision reconnecting with Elliot".
"Widowhood is something a lady never expects". I consoled, gently. "It's someone no one expects". "But I know now that as someone who has been through it, that widowhood isn't that bad, remarriage isn't bad either". "You will find peace, you will find love, and your husband is proud of you for moving on". "A spouse is like a diamond ring". "It never loses value, but a long lasting love with someone who can raise the children, and be a lover is something golden". "I haven't found anyone else, but I know you have, and you've been experienced with it". "Love is eternal, no matter who it's with". "You are in a good place, trust in that". I smiled a gentle smile, comforting Fillyjonk. "I was with my wife 41 years, it was lovely".
"You've found a good man, now let him treat you, and give you love". I said, gently. Fillyjonk nodded, as she looked down at her husband's necklace. "I suppose it works". Fillyjonk said. We both shared a smile, as I disappeared. "It is time to go home now, but remember what I told you, and have some faith". I said, gently. Fillyjonk and I smiled closely, with the faith we had. I disappeared from sight, magically transporting myself back to my cottage. It was time for bed as I stretched, took my pills, felt my bones crack with age, and laid down. That, and I took my dentures out as well. ;).
I laid down, thinking to myself, "No, my hips will not hurt". Truth disparagement: my hips did hurt. Even so, it is a burden to get old. That's why it would be cumbersome to be immortal. Someone would age beyond their reasoning. It is only logical: death. We reach the end of our lifespan, we die off. For me: I wait around until I go. At least then, I'd have some essence to my fervor. Well then.
Madame Fillyjonk was kissing Sir Elliot in their bedroom. "Dear, you seem worried, this evening". "Is everything alright?". Madame asked her new husband. "It seems so…yet for some reason, I seem bothered by something…I don't know what it is". T.S. Elliot said, a bit glum. "You can tell me, I won't feel bothered". Fillyjonk said. "Well, I just feel….as if I'm not exactly being the husband you wish for me to be". "While I am quite intermediate in our bedroom, I feel as if I'm not connecting with your children the way I wish to be". "I know I'm not their father, but I do wish for them to feel comfortable around me". "I want them to like me". Elliot said.
Fillyjonk nodded. "Well, in any case, being a parent isn't about being liked, it is about being obeyed, and being respected as a nurturer and an adult". Fillyjonk said. "My children love you, and that is the problem, they don't respect you enough". "You have to be kind, yet firm". "Be tumultuous once in a while". "Stand your ground, and discipline". "If it's any consolation, you'll be an ear marking of my late husband to them by doing that". "They will come to respect you, and obey you highly".
"I understand". Elliot replied. "I'll see to it that I do". Elliot smiled as he held Fillyjonk close. They kissed, as Elliot smiled. "You're ok?". Fillyjonk asked. "Now that my concerned has been raised, I'm quite well off". Elliot said. "Hmm…well then". Fillyjonk said. The two of them kissed in satisfaction, knowing they were in a good place. They were satisfied. It was a good feeling. Hee hee, Fillyjonk is someone I knew would land on her feet. She is a happy camper, truly. I love my children, and grandchildren. Being born in the 1900's gives you leighway. Well then.