"That was Boris Karloff!" Steve said, grinning like a madman.
The Avengers (and Loki, for whatever weird reason) had just finished another Christmas special, and they were lolling about on the screening room's couches as they toasted marshmallows over a small Sterno flame while a gigantic pile of graham crackers, chocolate bars, and yet more marshmallows waited their turn to be transformed into s'mores. The level of mess on everyone's face ranged from Pepper, who had only a tiny dot of chocolate on one cheek, to Thor, who had attempted putting sixteen marshmallows and eight different chocolate bars between four full sheets of graham crackers in a quadruple-level s'more only for it to explode spectacularly when he bit into it.
"Yep," Bucky agreed. "I'd recognize that voice anywhere."
"Yeah, for my money, Boris is the original and greatest Grinch," Tony said, nodding in approval. "Who knew Frankenstein was so into Christmas?"
"Not to be that guy, but Boris played the Monster," Bruce said, putting another marshmallow on his toasting fork. "Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."
"Whatever," Tony said, waving away the detail. "It's still awesome."
"I do like this one," Clint said, stretching and rubbing a hand over his chin, smearing the marshmallow stuck to it. "The whole poetry rhythm of it is pretty darn neat."
"And Cindy Lou Who and Max are adorable," Pepper said, expertly toasting her marshmallow to a crispy dark brown.
"They are indeed, but I must admit to being a little perplexed, though," Thor said, looking worried. "I could not understand some of the words in this. The Allspeak has never failed me before."
"Those were nonsense words," Pepper reassured him. "Dr. Seuss, the man who wrote this story, liked to make up big, silly-sounding words. Kids love it."
"Good," Thor said, looking more relaxed. "I was afraid I would need to procure a tong-tinger and foo-flounder to celebrate the holiday correctly."
Loki gave him a look of deepest loathing which was somewhat spoiled by the combination of marshmallow and chocolate currently stuck around his mouth.
"If Cindy Lou Who was really no more than two, she was awfully articulate for her age," Natasha said, taking a bite of her s'more. "The kid needs to be in a gifted program."
"And you'd know, wouldn't you," Tony said, though Bruce frowned at him.
Meanwhile, Peter was carefully constructing a combination of dark and milk chocolate bars on cinnamon graham crackers with three perfectly toasted marshmallows. Tony looked at it in awe.
"I'll pay you five hundred bucks for that, kid," he said, drooling a little.
"Nope," Peter said, grinning as he bit into it, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy.
"I knew I should have gone for five thousand," he said, dropping back against the couch in mock depression, but chewing on a random Hershey bar at the same time.
"I must admit to never having had one of these before," Loki said, putting together what had to have be his fifth s'more of the evening. "I believe I have discovered your planet's true claim to glory. These really are ridiculously good."
"Aye," Thor agreed, "though they are rather messy."
"That's half the fun," Bucky said, ineffectively wiping his chocolate-covered fingers on a napkin.
"So," Clint said, "what do we think of this one?"
"It's fun," Peter said before taking another bite.
"I thought the concept of a cranky green villain with a penchant for dramatics and weird wardrobe choices who raids a town in a bid for attention that ultimately fails seemed a little familiar somehow," Tony said, trying to look innocent.
Loki shot him an even more loathing-filled look than he'd given Thor.
"You forgot to mention the guy's obvious self-esteem issues and difficulty with interpersonal relationships," Clint said.
"Indeed, and his penchant for not wearing pants," Thor added, which made everyone swing their heads first in his direction, then in Loki's with looks of shock.
"I do not have a tendency for being pantsless!" Loki said, sounding horrified.
"Of course not," Thor said, frowning. "We were talking of the Grinch, not you. Weren't we?"
"Well, apparently some of us were," Natasha said, starting to laugh as Loki buried his face in his hands and looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor, which he promptly started to do.
"The whole anti-commercial message was a refreshing one, though," Bruce said. "I always kind of like the idea that the holiday is about more than getting stuff."
"It is a nice idea, but I think if I came downstairs on Christmas morning, particularly as a kid, and saw somebody had broken into our home in the middle of the night and stolen all the presents, decorations, and food, my immediate reaction wouldn't have been to wander out into the town square and join everyone in singing a happy song," Pepper said.
"You've got a point," Bucky said. "They've set the bar pretty high here on kids' behavior. Most people would be irate, at any age, and I wouldn't blame them."
"It'd definitely be a memorable Christmas, though," Tony said, groaning while patting his full stomach.
"So, what was everybody's most memorable Christmas?" Peter asked.
"For me, it was probably my first one after Laura and I got married," Clint said, smiling at the thought. "We didn't have much, but it was nice to have a place that finally really felt like home, even if it was a crummy apartment with mold on the walls at first."
"I had kind of a nice, quiet Christmas when I was in India," Bruce said. "Very calm, and I wasn't freezing, which was a major plus."
"My first Christmas in New York," Pepper said. "I remember staring at the tree in Rockefeller Plaza for a whole hour without moving."
"Maybe my first Christmas in the Army," Steve said, wincing.
"Gotta agree with that one since I was there," Bucky said. "We spent half the night getting shot at, but hey, we all walked away from it, so it had that going for it."
"Sounds like mine," Natasha said. "I spent one Christmas Eve on a mission in Tokyo. It wasn't exactly memorable for the Christmas part so much as the nearly getting blown into tiny bits part. I don't think I've ever really had a Christmassy Christmas except last year."
"Neither had I," Thor said, "nor my brother! We both found it must enjoyable!"
"What of you, Tony?" Loki said. "You've said nothing, and you nearly always can't stop yourself from talking."
"Yeah, well, my most memorable Christmas is one I wish I could forget," Tony said, taking an aggressive slug of hot chocolate.
Loki frowned and looked to Thor, who shook his head, not understanding either. He switched his gaze to Bruce, who gave him a small wave and mouthed the word, "later." An awkward silence filled the room.
"So," Clint said so abruptly that Peter actually jumped, "this seems like a great time to mention that Laura and I want to invite everybody to the farm for Christmas Eve."
"Really?" Pepper said, her eyebrows flying up practically to her hairline. "You don't need to do that, you know. We'd be happy to host again this year."
"Yeah, but we'd really like to," Clint said. "We've got loads of room. Okay, we don't have our own skyscraper, but we'll all fit. And everybody's invited. Peter, if you want to bring May, she's welcome. Happy's in on this if he wants, along with Nick and Maria. Thor and Loki, if your mom wants to come, she's got an invitation."
"That is most generous and hospitable of you, Clint," Thor said. "We shall ask her, but are you certain that we will not inconvenience you on your festive day?"
"Completely sure," he said. "We'd really enjoy it."
"Then you enjoy chaos far more than I expected," Loki said with a grin.
"I've got three kids. Chaos comes with the territory," Clint said.
"You know what?" Tony said, standing up and walking over to him, then shaking his hand, "You're on."
This was the cue for everybody to get up and begin trying to clean the mess the s'mores had made not only of the room but of themselves. Rolling his eyes at the mortals' completely futile attempts to remove chocolate and marshmallow from cushions, pillows, the carpet, faces, hands, and clothes, Loki wiggled his fingers once and everything was put back to rights with the single exception of Thor's beard.
"Wait, you could have cleaned up the whole place that easy every time you were here if you wanted to?" Tony asked.
"Yes."
"Then why didn't you?!"
"I didn't want to," Loki said, shrugging.
After everyone grabbed their coat from the gigantic pile and went either to the elevator or to the helipad, Pepper came up to Tony and wrapped her arms around him.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Mostly," he said, giving her a half-smile. "I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Okay," she said, then added, "do you want to talk about Clint inviting everyone for Christmas?"
Tony laughed in spite of himself and said, "Well, we still have a few more viewing parties before then, but I wonder if he has any idea what he's let himself in for."
"I doubt it," Pepper said, "but Christmas is about family, and that's what the Avengers are now."
"I guess so," he said, giving her a kiss as they walked through the spotless kitchen. All things considered, he decided to overlook the fact Loki had stolen all the remaining marshmallows.