A lonely night

As she gathered the files and a few papers that were necessary for the X-File they were currently working on, a well-kept folder on the bottom of a drawer caught Scully's eyes and made her heart skip a beat. It was as if an old wound had suddenly been opened again, causing instant tears to sting those blue pools and filled her heart with great sadness.

They were Emily's files, discovered two years before. Back then, Scully found out that her body had been used to house an experiment, which resulted in that shy little girl, whom the FBI agent loved instantly even though that child was a result of an act of violence, perpetrated by the hands of evil scientists who were working on an abominable secret plan ruled by the government.

That experiment left her barren and gave her a disease that nearly killed her. Unable to conceive. Unable to experience motherhood, which was a sensation she had longed for a long time, as the sense of family and love had always been a constant in her life, given the loving environment she and her siblings were raised.

But that piece of paper she had just found out by accident, somewhat forgotten in a bookshelf, was now making her realise that all the love she was taught and wanted to pass on was not allowed; a reminder that she would certainly be destined to remain alone in this world.

Tears fell down from her eyes and she lowered her head, a small sob escaping from her lips. Dana Scully had always been so strong to all the ones that were fortunate to meet her that it was hard to imagine her so fragile and torn apart. That was one of those moments, despite the fact that she had healed and put that story in the past as there was nothing she could do about it.

A phone ring broke the silence of the night. It was almost 10 PM of a Saturday night, so she frowned a little imagining it could only be some mistake.

The name on her cell phone screen didn't leave room for mistakes, though.

Scully swallowed hard and rubbed the tears on her face before answering, in an attempt to hide from him what she was feeling right now, as if he could actually see that she was crying.

"Hi…" Came her low, trembling voice.

"Hey, Scully, did I wake you up?"

"N-no, I was awake…"

On the other side of the line, Mulder frowned at the tone of her voice. He was a profiler, a psychologist, had an incredible intuition and most importantly, he loved her deeply and in those seven years they'd been working together, he'd got to know her heart well enough to detect when she was worried, mad, happy, or sad.

"Is there something wrong?"

"N-no…I was looking up for some papers for that X-File that came into our desk yesterday at the end of the afternoon. I guess I kept a scientific article that might help a little…I'll take it with me next Monday."

She was not lying. But it was far from explaining the reason for the sorrow he could feel in her voice.

"Oh, I see. Nice plan for a Saturday night!" He half joked, already picturing her lowering her head and giving a tiny smile at his little joke.

"Well, it's been a tiring week."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll leave you to rest, Scully. You deserve it after a seven-hour drive in the world's dustier road and with no air conditioning."

Now she had managed a tiny smile. "It felt like 70 hours to me…"

"Yeah, same here. G'night, Scully."

"G'night, Mulder."

She hung up and let out a small sigh, not able to push away the sadness that had taken over her spirit. Scully remained where she was, sitting in the chair nearby the shelf where she'd found those papers, eyes lost somewhere ahead of her and still feeling terribly lonely.

The FBI agent never knew how long she had remained there, but her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the doorbell. Finding it strange, she stood up and looked through the peephole to find that, once again, her partner had managed to break the sequence of sorrow that had taken over her soul.

And once again, she had to wipe up her tears and take a deep breath before opening the door for him, in a poor attempt to hide her true feelings.

"Mulder?" She said, with questioning eyes at the gentleman standing right at her door. He was not wearing a suit now, but comfortable blue jeans, tee-shirt and that black leather jacket that had always made him look even more handsome that he already was.

"Hey…" He said, with a clumsy smile, but immediately aware that his suspicions were right: she had been crying.

"What are you doing here?" She wanted to know, truly confused at why he was standing by her door at such a late time on a Saturday night.

"Oh, I was just…passing by and came here to say hi…" He attempted to joke again, watching as her lovely face clouded with doubt.

"You were passing by? Here? At this time of the night?"

One of the things that amused him deeply about Scully was that she was sometimes clueless about his absurd statements. That was one of those occasions.

"Yep… I like running long distances. But I felt I needed a glass of water and that awesome bakery nearby is closed so I remembered you live around and…well, hope I'm not disturbing your scientific article research." He added and only then Scully noticed that they were still standing at her doorstep.

"Oh, no…Come in, please…I'm sorry…" She said, giving a step back.

"You sure?" Even though he would never leave now that he saw the sadness in her eyes, that was a true question as he didn't want to be an intruder or push her too hard.

"Yes. Please, come in."

He stepped inside and she closed the door behind them.

"Thank you."

"I needed to gather some papers, throw some stuff away and didn't notice the time passing by." She quickly explained, motioning her hand to the living room, where there was a pile of paper in mild disarray.

"I see…" he said, standing on his feet and looking at the living room for a second and back at her, but now the amused tone in his voice and on his face gave room to a serious expression.

And she knew it. She was aware that he could read her mind and see all the feelings that she had been unsuccessfully trying to hide from him.

"I…You want something to drink? There's-"

"I felt you." He gently interrupted her; his hazel eyes were so intense that Scully lowered her head in defeat. "What's wrong, Scully? Talk to me."

She didn't say anything, as there was so much going on her heart right now. Instead, she gave two steps forward and held him tightly, burying her face against his chest as a sob and fresh tears came into view. It only took Mulder a split second to return her embrace, keeping her close to him and resting his head on top of hers. One of the things that he most loathed in his life was to see her crying. Whenever he witnessed that, it was like a torn in his own heart, the most terrible sensation he could ever experience.

"I'm here, Scully…I'm here…" He whispered, gently caressing her hair with his right hand, while the other remained on her back, keeping her close to him.

"I found something in those papers I didn't want to…Something that brought memories I thought were long forgotten." She explained, with the same trembling voice he'd heard on the telephone half an hour before. "They're Emily's…"

Mulder held his breath. He too felt his heart break at that revelation, as now he fully understood the reason for those tears.

He gently pulled away and guided her up to the couch, making her sit while he removed his jacket and threw it on the chair nearby. Then, he sat next to her and pulled her back into his arms, allowing her to cry until the sobs subsided and she was able to speak again.

"I thought I had put it back, and I did, I guess…I thought that I'd let it go, but sometimes, I cannot avoid the sadness that comes with everything that's been done to me…The inability to raise a family of my own, my disease, the damage to my health, that innocent child…"

"I know." He caressed her perfumed hair before pulling away just enough to look at her. "You have such a huge capacity to love, Scully. And you've always been strong. You were strong for both of us when you were fighting cancer and later when you found out what those bastards had done to your health. I was angry, I wanted answers and I could not accept it, but you showed me how to walk on. You raised your head up and faced everything like a fighter."

"One cannot be strong all the time, Mulder."

"I know. That's why I'm here." He said, pulling her back in his arms, speaking to her in a soothing voice of how she'd taught him so much about forgiveness and love, about resilience and faith. And it took him all his effort not to tell her that those were some of the many reasons he loved her so much. She didn't need to hear him confessing his feelings for her right now, it would not be fair with her as now her feelings were that mattered the most. She was the centre of his attention.

But then again, she had always been.

"I'll take those files away if that's alright with you. I don't want you to bump into them again so that they trigger unwanted flashbacks whenever they come into view. You don't have to go through it, Scully."

She rubbed her red nose, never moving away from the comfort of his embrace nor the warmth of his chest against her cheek. "I appreciate that, Mulder. I do."

They remained in silence for long minutes, holding onto each other in a connection of souls that was quite familiar to them. Sometimes they even wondered how that could be possible – to feel what the other was feeling, to be aware of their thoughts and emotions even when they were not physically present in the same environment. If the concept of soulmates was accurate, then Mulder and Scully could certainly be the best example.

Noticing that her tears had finally subsided and that her breathing had returned to a normal pace, Mulder kissed the top of her head and finally loosened his embrace.

"Which file did you say was important to our investigation?" He wanted to know, hating to let go of her or mentioning work at that moment. But he also knew that all those papers had to go away from her view, and he had to do it before she touched them again. Being nearly compulsive for neatness and organisation, Scully would soon end up running into them again if they were not taken away.

"Those over the side table." She pointed, watching as he stood up and, in a matter of five minutes, managed to put her living room in order once again, something that apparently, he would only do for her as his own apartment had always been a mess, but with significant improvements lately, which he himself didn't know how to explain.

"Whenever you need a maid just call me up. I'll give you a 50% discount coupon!" He said, smiling again at her and receiving a tiny, crying smile as a reward.

"I'll make us some tea." Came her quiet reply, filled with gratitude.

X

A while later they were both sitting next to each other in her comfortable couch with empty mugs and hearts lighter.

"Thank you again, Mulder." She said, holding her mug with both hands and looking at it with a thoughtful and slightly tired expression on her face, reflecting on how vital her partner and friend was for her.

"You're welcome. Tiding up is one of my best abilities." He replied, with the corner smile that always made her smile too.

Scully turned her head to look at him with questioning eyes. "How did you know I was…not feeling well?"

He was gazing back at her, somewhat lost in those blue eyes that were a mirror of her soul and which were also able to see inside his own spirit.

"Seven years together, Scully. By now I already recognise all your voice pitches, including the ones that tell me you're mad at me." He winked at her and the smile he got back was a small gift.

Then there was that moment when they would stare at each other without saying anything but conveying so many different and loving feelings through their eyes that words were not needed.

Mulder smiled warmly again and tenderly touched the side of her head, brushing her soft thin hair with his fingertips.

"I'll let you rest. It's been a tiring week and you deserve a break before we start the mutant X-File on Monday. I'm sure it'll be a hit."

She lowered her head now, finally breaking the eye contact due to the sudden sadness at watching him leave when all she wanted was for him to remain there by her side, not only in a moment of grief but in all the other ones along her life. He was so part of her right now that the mere thought of staying away from him caused her heart to ache. It'd been a long time since Scully had come to the conclusion that she loved him deeply, deeper than what could emerge from an average couple, as Mulder was not only a love interest. He was her other half, her best friend, her confessor, saviour, and a shelter whenever she was sad and afraid. Her feelings for him involved not only love, but also loyalty, respect and admiration, as if her happiness meant to see his own happiness and his pain was also her own.

As she watched him raise from the couch and pick up his jacket, Scully stood still, her body trembling a little.

"I'll take these with me." He placed the teacups on the sink and grabbed the plastic bag with the files that needed to be thrown away.

She was also on her feet now and saw him walking from the kitchen to the door with short and fast breaths, feeling her heart suddenly starting to race again. But this time, not due to an old hurtful memory.

"I'll give you a call when I get home but don't bother answering if you're already drifting off to sleep."

"Mulder…" Her voice was trembling and she felt her mouth dry with expectation.

He stopped by the door, immediately aware that things were still not entirely right.

"What is it, Scully?" He wanted to know, great worry shadowing his eyes once again.

She swallowed hard, her voice trembling and her chest rising and falling with irregular breathing. "What if…what if I told you I don't want you to leave?"

He was taken aback by those words, which he had always longed for but never expected. At least not on that night, even though he'd dreamed about them every night of his life from the moment he'd met her.

"W-what if I asked you to stay for the night? With me…" The amount of courage that took her to say those words was unmeasurable, as she had always been afraid that, somehow, he would reject her or the feelings she'd always held for him. "…I'm not asking anything in return, I just-"

Mulder didn't allow her to finish that sentence: within a split second, he let go of the jacket and plastic bag and shortened the distance between them, grabbing her face with both hands. He silenced her by placing his thumb against her lips and staring at her with a powerful gaze. And a second later, he finally pressed his lips against hers, in a kiss that was a bit longer than the shy one he dared to give her at the hospital hall on the New Year's Day, some weeks before.

This time, however, his gesture was more intense and yet reverent, as he could not manage to bury his feelings for her deep inside his soul anymore. He had to tell her, he needed to show her how deeply he loved her and how he needed her in his life. The courage he'd never had was now confronted with her own honesty and Mulder realised at that moment that he could not miss the opportunity to tell her what she meant to him.

And Scully meant his entire world.

When she also placed her small hands against his face and returned his kiss with the same intensity, he knew that following his heart was the right decision. But something else was necessary: he also needed to tell her about his own feelings. Taking into consideration what she had just said before he sealed her lips with that soulful caress, he could never allow her to think that that gesture meant his pity or just his pleasure.

After relishing with the sweet taste of her mouth mixed with camomile tea and the softness of her rosy lips, Mulder reluctantly pulled away just a few inches so he could face her and look inside those blue pools he so much enjoyed gazing at.

Still holding her face with both hands and gently stroking her temples with his thumbs, he studied every inch of her delicate features while words came out of his mouth. "What if I told you that I don't want to leave, Scully? That all the times we said each other goodbye all I truly wanted was to stay?"

She blinked at him with her eyes shining, flashing the sudden joy that filled her soul at those words. "Mulder, I-"

"You said you're not asking anything in return but I am, Scully!" He gently cut her off, touching her cheek bones and her jaw with the back of his fingers. "I'm asking for your love. Because mine, you already have."

And a tear fell from her eye as she heard that. But now, it was a tear of joy and utter emotion at hearing those words, spoken from the depths of his heart and so meaningful and true to her as the way he held her in his arms.

"Ah, Mulder…" She whispered, touching his handsome face with slender fingertips. "You don't even have to ask me this. Because it's always been yours." She whispered back the truth that had been in her heart for so many years.

Their lips collided again, this time both hearts were lighter and at peace due to the revelation that had just been exchanged. Now they could finally give in to each other without worries or past pains and traumas, all that had been left behind, inside plastic bags or in FBI files that were put aside for a while. When he pressed his hand on the base of her head, applying gentle pressure to what was already a lasting kiss, she responded again, by grabbing his shirt with one hand while the other remained on his cheek. Both of them never getting enough of each other.

They were soon in her bedroom, where the passion that had always been painfully hidden and tamed inside their souls was now released, making two bodies become one in a night that had started gloomy and sad and suddenly became the night when they confessed their mutual feelings.

X

When Mulder opened his eyes from a light sleep, the morning sunrays were already making the bedroom clear enough for him contemplate where he was and most importantly who was sleeping peacefully with her head against his shoulder. He shifted just a little so he could look at her, feeling her soft breathing tickling his bare skin and observing her red hair spread over the same pillow he was resting on.

He inhaled the sweet perfume that was so characteristic of Scully and kissed the top of her head so gently and so lightly that she didn't even move nor changed the pace of her breathing. The last thing Mulder wanted was to disturb her, first because, indeed, it had been a tiring week for both, especially for her given the reason for her tears on the previous night. And second because he wanted to enjoy that moment, when he was allowed to contemplate the woman he loved so much sleeping peacefully right next to him. The freckles spread on her face, chest and small shoulders, the porcelain skin he was able to kiss and touch during the night, the rosy and freckled cheeks, soft lips that matched so perfectly and the reddish tone of her hair that made Scully so unique and beautiful to him.

Mulder let out a small sigh, feeling at peace inside her bedroom, such an intimate environment which was so part of Scully's essence that he wondered if he deserved to be admitted to. Light walls, white curtains, and the same perfume he felt on her lingering in the air, and he suddenly felt like he never wanted to leave.

But he had to, as there was an important mission to fulfil on that Sunday morning.

With infinite care, he moved away from under the soft blanket that covered their naked bodies and, after gathering his clothes spread on the wooden floor, left the room closing the door behind him.

X

Scully opened her eyes nearly half an hour later, initially trying to get used to the morning light that had invaded her bedroom. Her first movement was to look at her right to confirm that the one whose shoulder she had been using as a pillow was not by her side anymore. She let out a small sigh and closed her eyes again, breathing in his scent against the sheets and wishing he was still there, holding her tightly and pressing his lips against hers just like he'd done on the previous night.

After nurturing such deep love for him in silence all through those years they'd worked together, Scully had finally given her heart away to him, surrendering to a feeling that had become greater than what she was able to conceal and, to her joy, her decision was met with his own love. That morning, she woke up with a different perception of the world: brighter, lighter and more joyful, and it was because of him.

She rose to her feet and headed to the bathroom suite for a warm and long shower, a relaxing one proper of a Sunday morning. Next, she put on a robe and walked out of the bedroom and up to the living room just to certify that Mulder was no longer there. She noticed that his jacket was tossed on a chair and with a few steps she took it in her hands and smelled it before hanging it properly.

"Oh, Mulder…I wonder if you're ever coming back to get it…" She whispered, with slight sadness.

The words had just escaped from her lips when the door was opened and Mulder came in holding a full bag with the logo of the nearby bakery.

When he closed the door behind him and turned around, he saw a surprised Scully looking back at him and the vision, which he had seen a thousand times, caused him to smile.

"Hey!"

"Mulder?"

"You seem surprised to see me?" He playfully spoke, placing the bag on the table.

"N-no… it's just that I thought you'd gone home…"

"Nah, I told you there's this awesome bakery nearby and just had to fetch breakfast there. You won't believe the number of different kinds of pie and sandwich they have there, Scully!"

"I know, I sometimes pass by to get something home." She replied, amused at his childlike enthusiasm, still with a smile lingering in her mouth and watching as he came closer. "They're really great."

"Yeah, they are. That's why I keep coming here!" He joked, with a wink and smiling warmly back at her, his eyes filled with evident love.

Scully raised her eyebrows, amused at his banter. "Oh, that's why?"

Mulder held her face in both hands and took a small second to look at her, committing to memory one more time her lovely features and the way those blue eyes shone back at him.

"Though I admit that, over the last seven years, other reasons came up…"

"Oh, really? I wonder what other reasons may be dragging you up to this part of the town…"

"The best of reasons…"

Then he pressed his lips against hers, in which was certainly the best good-morning kiss they had ever been granted in their life.

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that, Mulder." Came her amused reply once he briefly pulled away.

He pressed his lips against her forehead and squeezed her shoulders. "Come on, Scully. Let's have our breakfast. A decent one after a week of dusty roads, smelly motel rooms and lame sandwiches in weird diners."

"We truly deserve it!"

X

"Thank you…" Scully said, a while later, once they were savouring the delicious meal that he had so carefully bought them.

"You don't have to thank me, Scully. I'm planning on doing it again more often!"

She reached out across the table and covered his hand with hers. "Thank you for everything, Mulder…Even dusty roads, smelly motel rooms and lame sandwiches."

He kept his smile but his expression softened as he wrapped his fingers with hers and gently pulled her to him, making her sit on his lap.

"When I think about everything you are to me, Scully, and all the things we've faced together, I confess that I feel undeserving."

"What do you mean?"

"Undeserving of you, of the fact that you're everything that I need in my life and that I could never thank you enough for having you there."

Deeply moved, she tilted her head and touched his face, slender fingers caressing his cheek. "I can't imagine being anywhere else, Mulder."

Their faced inched closer for a soulful kiss, which lasted for long, pleasant moments before air became an issue and they parted just for a second, as another kiss followed.

Keeping one arm around her waist, Mulder passed his arm under her knees and held her firmly before raising to his feet carrying her.

"Mulder!" She giggled against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck as he started to walk towards her bedroom.

"Last time I carried you like this we were trapped inside a spaceship crowded with hungry aliens…" He spoke, enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms, as if she belonged to him. "It's great to repeat that action but in a totally different context!"

Smiling, Scully looked back at him with deep love evident in her blue pools. "Well, I agree…" She said, before pressing her lips against his one more time. "But Mulder, we never knew if it was a spaceship…"

The fake shocked and slight offended look on his face did amuse her. "We never what?! Ah, Scully, we sure need to have a little conversation right now!" He said, closing the bedroom door with his foot, to the sound of her joyful giggling.

The end.