AN: I really needed some feel-good relief after watching the latest episode. So, here is a story where Shaun and Lea finally get that baby they deserve. Although, it's set in later years.
However, and I know this is feel-good, I will warn you that I did include some mentions about Roe v. Wade and reproductive rights, especially to readers out there who are living in the US in states with trigger laws (I'm unfortunately one of those readers since I live in Texas). I thought it deserved at least a mention.
Again, to be medically correct, at 22 weeks in the US, the loss would have been classified as a stillbirth and Lea would have had a D and E (evacuation), not a D and C.
Being a light sleeper, Shaun woke up suddenly to the sound of a baby crying close by from the portable bassinet by their bed. He could hear Lea grumble as she awoke to the sounds, which had become her subtle way of reminding him, "Your turn."
Shaun immediately sat up, stood out of bed, and then walked to the bassinet to pick up the baby. Then, holding her close to his chest, he whispered hushed words into her ear and rubbed her tiny back.
Their yellow goldendoodle, Lucy, who was snuggled up in her dog bed, immediately got out of her bed and climbed onto Shaun's side to snuggle up with Lea and Poppy, their silver blue korat. She did that every time Shaun worked the night shift or simply just left the bed.
Rupert, Charlie, and Harold (Albert had died a few years ago) were swimming safely in the fish tank in the guest room, where Lucy and Poppy were never allowed.
Realizing it was feeding time and wanting to let Lea sleep instead of waking her up to breastfeed, he carried her to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of Lea's pumped breast milk and warm it up. Once the bottle was warmed up, he returned to the bedroom to notice that Lea, usually a heavy sleeper and still physically recovering from childbirth, had fallen asleep. Lucy was snuggled up against her back.
He didn't want to wake his wife, so he carried the baby into the room that was supposed to be the nursery and her future bedroom; Poppy got up from the bed, following him. Eva would be sleeping in the same room as him and Lea for the first six months of her life, as recommended by pediatric guidelines.
Shaun sat in the ivory glider Dr. Glassman gave them at their baby shower, resting one foot on the matching ottoman. He placed the baby in the cradle hold position before gently settling the nipple of the bottle in her mouth to feed her; her cries softened as her hunger was satisfied. He then felt Poppy brush up against his leg and rub her scent on him.
Whenever she would do that to Dr. Glassman or even whenever Lucy would walk up to Glassman and whimper for petting, the old man would just playfully roll his eyes and scoff, especially when they wanted to snuggle with him on the couch.
Shaun knew Glassman wasn't that much of a pet person, but Lea thought Glassy had some subtle personal vendetta against the critters.
It had been about a month since their precious daughter was born.
Their rainbow miracle baby, Eva Victoria Murphy, was born on December 25, 2024 at 1:02 am. Eva was what her grandparents called a Christmas Rainbow Miracle.
That early Christmas morning was the happiest, most emotional, day of their lives. Still, it was such an emotional rollercoaster with how much they had to go through - all the pain, suffering, and heartbreak - to achieve their dreams, wishes, and desires to become parents.
Four years full of one heartbreaking loss, one devastating diagnosis, two successful surgeries, one disappointing hysterical pregnancy, an additional three months of trying, nine months of careful chaos, and then one long and difficult labor. All of that was for their bundle of joy.
But they both agreed that it was worth the wait.
As Shaun sat in the glider and admired Eva, adoring her teeny blue eyes and thin brown hair, he remembered the long and daunting road it took for him and Lea to finally conceive a child.
Their long and painful journey started when they lost their first baby girl, posthumously granted the name Estella Angelina two years after the loss. Although they didn't conceive her on purpose and planned to terminate at first, they wanted this baby. Lea's pregnancy was so textbook that they didn't expect anything wrong to happen until she was diagnosed with vasa previa. Surgery was performed to fix it so she could hopefully have a safe delivery, but then a blood clot in the umbilical cord took their baby away.
They had two choices - dilation and evacuation or induce labor. Lea chose the former because she didn't want to go into labor and not leave without their baby. Shaun was so devasted that he couldn't decide which option was medically better. The nurses offered Shaun and Lea to hold Estella even after the D and E. Again, they declined, being unable to look at their dead baby and not even wanting to take home her remains and have her cremated.
If Shaun regretted anything at that moment, it was not holding or even having a burial or funeral for Estella for proper closure. At the time, he and Lea were focused on moving on quickly so they could pretend like it had never happened.
They quickly learned the hard way that it doesn't work like that.
Fortunately, the loss brought Lea and Shaun closer together and led to Lea proposing to him...and then they started to heal from their grief even further. Besides strengthening their relationship, the loss also helped strengthen the relationship between the couple and Lea's parents, whom they kept the loss a secret from at first. When Lea finally revealed to her parents what happened one week after the loss, Pam and Mike opened up about what they went through to have Donnie and Lea.
Right after they married, Pam and Mike immediately started trying for a baby, but it took eight years and one molar pregnancy for them to conceive Donnie. When they decided to have another child two years later, Pam was able to successfully get pregnant, but she suffered a miscarriage. A year later, Lea was conceived by accident right when they decided to give up.
Pam and Mike revealing their own struggles (along with their own) made Shaun and Lea realize how taboo topics of infertility and pregnancy loss were. Lea said she had no idea that her parents went through all that loss and infertility. Until now, they never talked about it.
Even after Shaun and Lea healed from the heartbreak as time passed, certain things would re-trigger their grief over Estella. For example, the announcement of a pregnancy or birth of a baby of someone at the hospital, the death of a premature baby, a news headline about right-wing politicians passing or attempting to pass laws that threatened to control women's bodies, or a right-wing forced birther (politician or not) just making an offensive and incredibly misinformed, tone deaf anti-choice statement.
One good thing was that after Shaun broke down over the death of that preemie due to Salen's negligence, he found the opportunity to connect with Alma and Matt over the grief of losing a baby during a brief talk with them.
But most of all, nothing re-triggered Shaun and Lea's grief much more than the overturn of Roe v. Wade. They were lucky to live in liberal blue California and not in a state like Texas or Oklahoma. However, reading news articles about the consequences of the decision (how it could impact IVF, a 10-year-old rape victim needing to travel out of state, and women suffering miscarriages in restrictive red states having their lives being put in danger by being denied care and being forced to continue carrying a non-viable fetus) was deeply upsetting, triggering, and outraging to hear. As someone who went through the trauma of pregnancy loss, they couldn't stomach reading through those articles, not even Shaun. For both of them, it even brought back those awful memories of the 2016 presidential debates and Trump's highly misinformed remarks about late-term abortions.
Hearing Trump's scare rhetoric back in 2016 when he was in his last year of med school just made Shaun shake his head and angry about how misinformed and incompetent many politicians were in their knowledge about abortion and the female body. Thinking about those words after he and Lea actually went through an almost similar situation like the families Hillary Clinton referred to (even though it happened in the second trimester for them) made Shaun not only much more pissed off, but also personally upset that there were a lot of forced birthers that were allowed to hold elected office.
Ever since the Supreme Court screwed women over, Lea didn't take her reproductive rights for granted anymore.
However, Shaun and Lea didn't want to stop their family planning plans just because of that.
Lea and Shaun eventually decided to try for another baby after getting married and after Lea got off the anticoagulants. But, unfortunately, their excitement was punched in the gut when they were given another roadblock when Lea received a diagnosis of Asherman's Syndrome from Dr. Winkler, the OB/GYN. She had uterine scarring from the fetoscopic laser ablation and the D and E, making it difficult for her to conceive and difficult for her to carry a pregnancy to term or even to viability.
What hurt more was when she said "maybe never" instead of giving the odds of success and mentioning treatments to reverse this.
For almost a month, Lea plunged into an abysmal depression, convinced she would be forever childless, having taken Dr. Winkler's words literally. That whole month, Shaun had begged Lea to get a second opinion and have an operative hysteroscopy, but she didn't want to. Well, at least not yet. Finally, Morgan, who had been working on her own road to conceiving a child, explained to Shaun that maybe Lea needed a bit of time to grieve the possibility that she may never have a successful pregnancy or even experience pregnancy.
"Give her time," she advised.
That was the thing. Shaun was very fertile, and a urologist confirmed he had a very high sperm count when he made sure his reproductive organs worked just fine when he and Lea decided to start trying. So he wasn't the infertile one, it was Lea.
At that moment, all Lea wanted to do was scream and cry, scrolling through the infertility subs on Reddit and finding solace in them. But, oddly, she found comfort in some of Frida Kahlo's paintings that had symbolism in infertility and pregnancy loss, especially the paintings with images of anatomy, pelvises, uteruses, fetuses, and a crowning head during childbirth. Lea knew that Frida was infertile and had a few miscarriages, but Shaun mentioned that Frida possibly had Asherman's syndrome, just like her, except she likely got it from the metal rod that pierced her uterus in the trolley accident she was in.
Another critical difference between Lea and Frida was that Lea, living in the era of fertility treatment, had the opportunity to have it reversed so she could safely get pregnant. Frida, who lived between 1907 and 1954, didn't.
What made Shaun and Lea's blood boil more than anything was everyone telling them they could just adopt, telling them it was their duty to do it since they were infertile. As if that's easy willy nilly, pondered Lea. But, of course, she and Shaun were aware of their options. She just wanted to try managing her infertility first because she was still desiring to have her own biological child from her body.
And when Asher and Dr. Powell just had to throw in the "why don't you just adopt" comment to him, Shaun kind of wanted to punch them. Even though he and Lea could technically afford just one adoption right now, the process would take years, and it wasn't guaranteed that they would end up matched with a child. Also, he did not like being critiqued and evaluated for their parenting skills by a stranger right now or even dealing with this legal stuff. So they weren't ready to jump through all these hoops and with his ASD, they would realistically be kicked near the bottom of the waiting list.
At the time, Dr. Lim was still very hostile towards Shaun, with her resentment towards him for being paralyzed. Then, Shaun started to feel a little resentment towards Lim because she was one of the surgeons who assisted with the fetoscopic laser ablation that was attempted to save Estella. When Shaun brought it up to her and informed her of Lea's diagnosis, Lim started the road to forgive Shaun after knowing what he and his wife were going through.
Eventually, after taking a road trip and a camping trip to process their grief and then buying a house for themselves, Lea agreed with Shaun to get a second opinion from Morgan. She confirmed that they could remove the scar tissue, but it would require two separate surgeries. Still, it had a decent success rate.
"If the surgery is successful, we'll try for another baby in maybe one year," proposed Lea as they lay in their tent at the Russian Gulch State Park campground and enjoyed the view of the redwoods. "And if that doesn't work, we'll try surrogacy. And if that doesn't work, we'll see if we can consider adopting or fostering. And if that falls through, we'll just have to accept being childless, and then we'll go to the shelter and get a cat and a dog."
"I like that idea very much," bubbled Shaun, excited at the idea of getting a cat, yet remembering his wife's cat allergy. "But you're allergic to cats."
"I can take a Claritin daily, and we'll have to keep the fish in a separate room away from the cat. Also, my allergies are mild," reassured Lea with a chuckle. "And I know you really wanted to take that kitten home when we got Hubert. And about the dog, we'll get one of those calm ones. We can also see if there are any hypoallergenic cats."
"Okay," said Shaun, remembering that Lea really wanted that puppy. "We'll hope for good vibes."
When Lea got those hysteroscopies, Shaun watched and stayed in the OR as Asher, Lim, Glassman, and Dr. Garcia performed the procedure. The surgeries were successful, and the follow-up hysteroscopy revealed no further adhesions to Lea's uterus. Although, they were warned about the risk of a uterine rupture during labor and a high chance of her needing a c-section. Therefore, Dr. Garcia strongly recommended that Lea give birth in a hospital (she could still have a midwife if she wanted) and not have a home birth (not that she was planning one) just to be safe if she gets pregnant.
However, Dr. Garcia recommended that Lea still had to wait a while to get pregnant (about 12 months so they could see what the outcome was). When Morgan announced that her first IUI using a sperm donor was a success during the fifth month of the waiting period in May, Shaun couldn't help but feel jealous of Morgan. Whenever they worked together, Shaun would put on a brave face and wish her a successful pregnancy. However, despite his difficulty reading people sometimes, he could tell that Morgan was hesitant to act all excited about her pregnancy or complain about inconvenient symptoms in front of Shaun or Lea and even in front of Nurse Villanueva, who had two miscarriages.
During those tough times in that difficult year of 2023, things got even more challenging when Shaun found himself in legal trouble over a patient case combined with his anger and stress over his and Lea's situation. Another thing that irked them was seeing parents who honestly didn't deserve to be parents. Shaun has witnessed it himself many times with patients and their loved ones. News articles about parents abusing their children weren't helping either. It pissed him off that some horrible parents could just pop out as many children as they wanted like there was no tomorrow or get pregnant without even trying. Cough, his biological parents, and especially those pious religious fundamentalist families with at least 6 kids like the Duggars and their 19 offspring.
For example, during that time frame of the waiting period, Shaun even came across a pregnant patient with seven daughters. She was finally pregnant with the son that her husband always hoped for so someone could carry the family last name, so he could do "manly" stuff with him like play football and go hunting, and so he wouldn't have to deal with any emotional or "girly" stuff. It was hard for Shaun to believe that there were still people who believed that gender roles and stereotypes were set in stone. Honestly, even though he apologized to Pam for it and it had more to do with his grief, he was still secretly proud of his rant at his mother-in-law about a dinosaur onesie, followed by his yelling at her to shut up.
When the patient's baby turned out to be a girl (their doctor read the sonogram wrong), Shaun was secretly satisfied. He was slightly relieved that the jerk didn't get what he wanted, but he was also sad because he would later admit that he was considering leaving his wife for one of his five mistresses because his wife failed to give him a son. The same reason Henry VIII divorced Catherine of Aragon.
Although the patient's husband leaving her was probably a better alternative to him continuing to treat her like a baby machine, he would probably treat his mistresses the same way and she was now a single mother to eight children.
Dr. Perez even made a comment to Shaun at that moment.
"You know, it's not fair. You and Lea already loved your unborn daughter so much, but you lost her. Now, you and Lea are going through so much to have just one baby. You didn't give a shit about the baby's sex because all you wanted was a baby to love. Yet the reincarnation of Henry VIII gets to knock up as many women as he wants and will only be satisfied when he gets a son that might not even like 'manly' stuff or identify as a man. To be honest, I don't think he deserves to be a parent."
Daniel was right. So many parents out there didn't deserve to be parents, and some could even have more if they wanted. Meanwhile, there were so many deserving childless people out there who were taking so many drugs, injecting themselves with hormones, undergoing surgeries, ejaculating into cups, paying out-of-pocket medical expenses, or undergoing scrutiny from social workers to even get a child.
Oddly enough, Dr. Andrews and Nurse Villanueva felt like some of the only few people at the hospital who understood his and Lea's pain. Everyone else, however, had a hard time knowing what to say. Morgan even avoided them for a while, fearful of her pregnancy reminding them of something they didn't have. And unfortunately, some of their friends and co-workers gave insensitive advice that could honestly make them want to punch them even though they were being well-meaning.
And what really devasted Lea was her hysterical pregnancy in June of that year. On the morning after Dr. Glassman's retirement party, she was so convinced that she was pregnant when she felt nausea and noticed that her period was late and that her belly was bloated, not thinking rationally that day. Shaun even warned her that she probably wasn't pregnant and would need to get checked out first. He guessed that her nausea was due to skipping dinner and a lack of a nutritious lunch the day before.
At the appointment with Dr. Winkler, it was confirmed. Lea wasn't pregnant and was experiencing a hysterical pregnancy. Yet it was better to be told this sooner rather than later, and it was at that moment Lea was recommended by the doctor that she go on anti-depressants.
Shaun abhorred how cruel his wife's body had to be to her.
However, it was at that moment when he decided that he and Lea could go to the shelter and adopt a cat and a dog, like she suggested they do if all the alternative options to having a child didn't work, but he thought that she needed this furry little friend fix right now. As much as they loved their trio of fish, they wanted some living beings they could hug and snuggle with.
And that was how they welcomed Lucy and Poppy, a puppy and a kitten, into their family. Those two were not only tolerant of the opposite species, but they were also the cat and dog that was perfect for Shaun and Lea individually. Lucy was the ideal dog for Shaun because she was friendly, sweet, loving, calm, not so rambunctious, and not too over-affectionate. Poppy was the perfect cat for Lea because she was hypoallergenic, yet she still took antihistamines daily.
Aside from adding some furry pets to their family, Shaun and Lea also found solace and comfort in online and real-life support groups. Venting to and with other people struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss felt so damn good. Then, feeling like the time was right, they finally gave their deceased unborn daughter a name and made a memorial stone for her and a garden in their backyard, helping them heal from that loss. Estella Angelina was the perfect name for a lost baby because Estella meant star, and Angelina meant angel.
Later, in January of the following year, after Morgan had welcomed a baby boy, Milo, it was then cleared safe for Lea to get pregnant with no additional scarring. So, she and Shaun immediately started trying, avoiding alcohol and keeping the ideal diet, hoping they would succeed on their first try.
Despite their excitement over being able to try again, Morgan had a tough time during the first few months of motherhood, which was the entire period when Shaun and Lea tried to conceive. Not only did Morgan not have a partner, but Milo was very colicky, crying for hours. She also developed mastitis and was constantly stressed and tired. All of that terrified Shaun and Lea for a while, but when Milo was three months old, he would no longer be colic and then he became a very cute baby, which then eased Shaun and Lea's fears a bit.
And then, near the end of April, it was official. Lea was pregnant.
She didn't want to tell Shaun until the doctor confirmed it, so when she started to suspect she was pregnant, she took three at-home pregnancy tests, requested a blood and urine test from the lab, and then had it confirmed by Dr. Winkler, also requesting an ultrasound picture.
"Congratulations, you're due on December 28," she said.
Lea wanted to surprise Shaun with the pregnancy in a slightly unique way that she never saw on the internet, so she put the lab results, tests, and the ultrasound photo in a little box for him to open when he came home.
Yep, she definitely went a little overboard with the pregnancy announcement. But this was such a significant accomplishment for them.
Shaun recalled very well when Lea told him she was pregnant.
After Lucy greeted him when he walked in after coming home from his shift, he discovered Lea patiently waiting at the dinner table with a proud look on her face and a tiny box displayed in front of her.
"Lea, what is this?" He asked, taking off his jacket and backpack before giving Poppy, who was napping on one of the dining room chairs, a pet on the back.
"Just open it, Shaunie," she demanded in a giddy way, handing the box over.
When Shaun opened it, he noticed three positive at-home pregnancy tests, an ultrasound photo of what was probably a five or six-week embryo, and a folded-up piece of paper that turned out to be Lea's pathology lab results. Evidence indicating pregnancy, such as hCG, had been highlighted in yellow to grab Shaun's attention.
Shaun couldn't believe his eyes.
"Lea, does this mean you're…"
Lea nodded with happy tears, lovingly taking Shaun's hands into hers. "Dr. Winkler said I'm six weeks. In December, we're having a baby!"
"Yes!" Shaun whooped, overjoyed, pulling Lea towards him to kiss her before letting her go and then happily breaking the news to Lucy and Poppy that they were getting another human. "We're having a baby!"
They waited until Lea was 13 weeks before they told their parents and everyone else, although everyone in the hospital was already suspecting it. However, since Dr. Glassman was retired, keeping the secret was slightly easier. So they announced to him over a laid-back dinner at his house and told Lea's parents and brother via video chat. At the same time, they had also received an invitation to Donnie and Raul's wedding, which was in May of 2025.
Shaun's mind wandered back to the present day as he noticed that Eva had finished her bottle.
He carried Eva to the kitchen and then placed the bottle on the counter, pacing around the house with Eva in his arms.
He read the living room clock and read that it was 3:16 am.
Feeling too awake to go back to sleep and seeing that Eva was still awake, Shaun went outside to the back porch and sat in the chair, enjoying the 50-degree breeze as he waited for Eva, who was resting on his chest, to fall back asleep.
AN: I originally wanted to make this one whole shot, but decided to divide it into three chapters. Please review :)