AN: So, I'll be finishing these two chapters as I wait for my teaching exam test results all weekend before I later go back to completing coursework. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy.

I wanted to get this done before the fall finale, but I lost time over the weekend. Anyway, I will warn you guys that there is a graphic description of a miscarriage in this chapter...and some very bizarre and disturbing dreams.

Enjoy :)

Having just given birth a month ago, Lea grumbled exhaustingly, given the sleep she'd been losing as she heard her baby girl's cries.

She heard Shaun stumble out of bed to retrieve Eva from her bassinet. It wasn't long before she felt Lucy hop up on the bed and cuddle up against her back while Poppy jumped off, hearing the rattling of her collar.

As she drifted back to sleep, she thought about her pregnancy with Eva. Despite all the heartbreak and hardships they went through to conceive her, conception wasn't where their problems ended. Bigger troubles truly started when she became pregnant. Nine months of vomiting, nausea, mood swings, compressed organs, physical discomfort, back pain, achy breasts, swollen feet, bleeding noses and gums, pregnancy brain, excessive sweating, constipation, peeing every five minutes, leg cramps, gas, bloating, itchy skin, hemorrhoids, metallic taste, heartburn, and one yeast infection at 21 weeks.

Some of the symptoms she experienced didn't surprise Lea because this wasn't her first time being pregnant. Still, she wouldn't experience some of the other symptoms until her second pregnancy because she didn't make it to the third trimester in her first.

Dr. Winkler reassured it was safe to continue her brand of anti-depressants during her pregnancy, but Lea didn't want to take any risks after working so hard to conceive this baby. She was determined to do every single little thing right - extremely healthy meals full of nutrition, always ensuring she took her prenatal vitamins on time every day, no seafood of any kind, no processed meats, no unhealthy foods, and not even just one cup of coffee - to avoid losing this pregnancy.

Her first trimester was almost similar to the one from her first pregnancy. At the first ultrasound this time, Lea looked away from the screen as she heard the heartbeat as she was afraid of getting too attached to the baby before losing it.

She and Shaun kept the pregnancy a secret from everyone. She spent so much time fearing a miscarriage, wondering if she could withstand another loss, and remembering her mother's traumatizing stories of pregnancy loss. She had a molar pregnancy four years before she had Donnie. When Pam kept bleeding heavily and passing cysts as large as grapes, Mike immediately took her to the hospital, where they first learned what a molar pregnancy was. She then had a miscarriage at 14 weeks, two years before Lea was born. When that happened, she just sat in the bathtub as she passed the fetus. Mike kept insisting they go to the hospital, but she refused.

Besides her anxious thoughts, just like during her last pregnancy, Lea also dealt with strange, vivid dreams, as did Shaun. The dreams ranged from being pretty fucking bizarre to just plain nightmare fuel. Lea had weird dreams like breastfeeding Lucy to frightening dreams like losing the baby. Shaun had freaky dreams, from giving birth to a school of fish to recurring nightmares about his parents and brother.

However, aside from those strange dreams, her second pregnancy's morning sickness was much worse than her first; it was like The Exorcist. It was so bad she often found herself frozen in bed, at the toilet, or at her desk, overcome with and weak with neverending nausea. She couldn't even attend the hospital potluck because so many foods with their particular smells triggered her sickness, eggs being the worst enemy on her stomach. She felt almost everything made her sick, usually finding munching on saltines and drinking herbal tea the best treatments.

One time when she and Shaun had dinner at Dr. Glassman's house (when he still didn't know about the pregnancy), she didn't make it to the bathroom in time, so she ended up throwing up in one of his vases. It was mortifying, and she and Shaun just made an excuse to Glassman that it was just food poisoning.

Eventually, at 10 weeks, she was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. She later learned from Lucy Knisley's graphic novel, Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos, that it was how Charlotte Brontë died...which scared Lea to death. But, besides that, Lea found a lot of comfort in that book, which was much more interesting than all the pregnancy books she had ever read. It was brutally honest, just like her husband.

During the second trimester, Lea did feel slightly more energetic. Still, she wasn't as vibrant as she was during the second trimester of her first pregnancy due to the hyperemesis gravidarum, making Shaun much more protective of her, asking her every day what color her urine was.

Once Lea and Shaun announced the pregnancy to their family and friends at 13 weeks, almost everyone at the hospital was blabbering, "I knew it", especially Glassman, as he remembered the moment his daughter-in-law vomited in his vase. He admitted that he secretly wondered if Lea was pregnant, but considered it wasn't polite to bring that up. When Lea told her parents about her pregnancy and due date, they said it was perfect timing because they had planned to visit their daughter and son-in-law for Christmas that year. When Shaun called to tell Claire, she wished him and Lea a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby.

Unfortunately, Lea would be hospitalized two weeks later for her severe sickness after fainting in the IT lab. It was a frightening moment for both her and Shaun, but they worked hard to manage her condition throughout the pregnancy despite two more terrifying hospitalizations at 25 and 34 weeks.

Once Lea reached 20 weeks, she and Shaun were offered to know the baby's sex, but they declined once again, earlier rejecting a fetal DNA test. She didn't want to get too attached this time, and they weren't going to name it until after it was born alive and well, yet Park did jokingly suggest a list of baby names with Christmas-like meanings to them.

"You know, since you're due around Christmas, I think Ebenezer would suit him if it's a boy," he jested, sitting at his desk. "Or Ivy, Nicholas, Natalie, Noel, Carol, Joy, Rudolph, or Holly. Or even Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

"No, no. Those are terrible," Shaun shook his head at most of those suggestions. "Lea is due three days after Christmas, and the baby could be born in January."

"Also, we would never pick a name that we can only associate with Scrooge whenever we hear it," Lea playfully rolled her eyes. "I don't think any parents wants to name their kid Ebenezer."

"It was a joke," chuckled Alex. "I wouldn't have considered any of those names for Kellan."

"We aren't naming them until after they're born," confirmed Lea.

Alex just sighed solemnly, immediately regretting his "suggestions". "I understand."

Oddly, the one person Lea liked to talk to the most during this pregnancy was Morgan, who was almost like her motherhood buddy since she lent her the pregnancy pillow she used during her pregnancy with Milo. In fact, she and Shaun were offered to babysit Milo, who seemed to adore Shaun, throughout the pregnancy. Not only did Morgan recommend her doula, Margo, to the parents-to-be, but she also recommended a better prenatal yoga class for Lea after she left the classes she previously signed up for because she didn't like how judgemental the instructor was.

Because this was Lea's second pregnancy, she started showing a little bit and feeling movement at 20 weeks instead of 22.

And speaking of being 22 weeks, when she reached that milestone, her grief for Estella resurfaced because that was when they lost her. That real moment of the 22nd week was met with dread and fear, afraid that she wouldn't feel the baby move anymore or that the next ultrasound would show no heartbeat. She feared another blood clot in the umbilical cord.

Even when Lea finally reached 23 weeks, an important milestone for them, Shaun was starting to freak out more about fatherhood than ever. He feared failing as a father and dreaded the mistakes he would make and the moments he might scare his child with one of his meltdowns. Sometimes, he worried that he and the child would end up having the same relationship he had with Ethan. Lea gave him a lot of reassurance, yet she had her own insecurities regarding motherhood. Sometimes, she worried about the kind of person their child would become; sometimes having an irrational fear that they would grow up to be an asshole. But, for both of them, their child being autistic was actually one of the very least of their worries and were already expecting something like this (but they were both still frightened for their child and were afraid of them dealing with prejudice from society). During the pregnancy, their two biggest worries were being terrible parents and losing their baby. Even with everyone reassuring them that everything was going to be okay, their fears still persisted.

In fact, they had procrastinated on putting their registry together, enrolling the baby in daycare, and finding a pediatrician because they were so afraid that they would lose this baby, too. In fact, after losing Estella, they had to cancel three scheduled tours with a few daycares.

However, Lea did find solace in the prenatal yoga class Morgan had recommended to her. The instructor, who happened to experience infertility and pregnancy loss herself, was very welcoming and non-judgemental and allowed her clients to vent, have hope, and talk about their fears, especially loss.

"Welcome, friends," the instructor introduced herself. "I'm Latika. I've been teaching prenatal yoga for 12 years, and I have been teaching regular yoga classes for 18 years. I'm 47 and have a 10-year-old son, but I've been pregnant four times. I'm sharing this with you because we're not afraid to discuss our loss and infertility hardships in this class. I know that not all of us are in a relationship with a man, married, have a partner, or even identify as a woman. And I know that not all of us conceived our babies by having sex, and some of us aren't really pregnant or are not pregnant with our babies. Becoming certified in prenatal yoga has helped me through my losses, and if any of you have a partner, they're welcome to join us anytime. I see some familiar faces and some new ones, so let's introduce ourselves. Tell everyone your name, how old you are, how far along you are, and your story. Who would like to go first?"

As everyone in the room introduced themselves and told their stories, Lea admired every one of their experiences. She did not feel isolated in a prenatal yoga class for the first time during this pregnancy.

Samantha, a 25-year-old surrogate who was 24 weeks pregnant and a mother of a two-year-old, was accompanied by the woman for whom she was carrying the baby. Kellie was a 40-year-old woman with more miscarriages and failed IUIs and IVF cycles than she could count. This was her last viable embryo.

Fiona was a 36-year-old woman in her 20th week who had waited three years to be ready to try getting pregnant again after losing her baby boy to SIDS. She followed every single pediatric guideline for prevention, even placing her baby to sleep on his back. She did everything right and still lost her son.

34-year-old Natasha, who was 25 weeks, went through a devastating stillbirth at 40 weeks, two years before she conceived this baby. Her last pregnancy with her daughter was so textbook that she never expected anything to go wrong.

Marilyn, who was 30 weeks pregnant, was having a post-menopausal pregnancy through IVF and donor eggs, and she was only 33 years old. She went through unexplained premature menopause at 22, and she and her partner got second jobs to save up so much money to have just one try at using donor eggs.

Oliver was a 32-year-old pregnant trans man struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. He and his wife, a trans woman, had held off on fully transitioning for years so they could conceive when they were ready. He was 28 weeks and already felt excluded in many pregnancy spaces.

Allie was 26 years old and not only 27 weeks pregnant with her first child but also currently battling stage II thyroid cancer and had been in six years of remission from melanoma when she and her husband started trying. She already had surgery and was going to have a c-section next week so she could start chemo. Everyone in the room wished her good luck.

Irma was 37 years old and was finally pregnant at 27 weeks after so many miscarriages that turned out to be caused by a bicornuate uterus, which was fixed with surgery so she could carry to term. However, she was still traumatized by all her losses.

At 42 years old, Heather was finally pregnant at 22 weeks after many losses and failed IVF cycles. She was hoping to at least make it to viability because she was sure this was her last chance considering her age and the fact that she was already experiencing perimenopause symptoms.

30-year-old Camila, who was 19 weeks pregnant, had dealt with secondary infertility after trying to have a child with her husband. She lost her first pregnancy at 20 years old when she was punched in the belly by her abusive boyfriend at the time. It took her and her husband two years and six cycles of IVF.

Julia was 28 years old and was finally pregnant again after dealing with a dangerous molar pregnancy, albeit she and her boyfriend (now fiancé) had no intentions of getting pregnant at the time. She had to wait a year to get pregnant again, officially at 32 weeks right now.

Georgia, who was 29 years old, was pregnant again at 34 weeks after suffering from a traumatizing ectopic pregnancy two years ago, which made her lose a fallopian tube. So she and her wife decided to relocate from Missouri to California to safely grow their family.

Rowan was a 27-year-old woman who was 29 weeks pregnant and was told by doctors she would likely never get pregnant due to her endometriosis. Devastated, she immediately let go of that dream, but she accidentally got pregnant after a one-night stand, and it was a miracle to her. She was raising this baby alone with her sister's help. However, she planned to have a hysterectomy soon after the baby was born.

Ella was a 19-year-old community college student who was in her 17th week. She was lucky to receive support from her friends and family but faced a lot of hostility from other people, especially her now ex-boyfriend, who walked out on her.

Phoebe, who was 35 years old and 26 weeks pregnant, had to use a sperm donor since her husband had an extremely low sperm count. They suffered through many years of trying, but they succeeded with just one IUI but so many fertility drugs.

Valeria, a 39-year-old widow who was 16 weeks pregnant, used her dead husband's preserved sperm. After he was diagnosed with testicular cancer when they were in their mid-20s, he had his sperm frozen to have kids later. But, unfortunately, he wasn't able to beat cancer. After a few years, Valeria was single and wanted a child, and since she still had her husband's sperm, she thought, "Why not?"

45-year-old Brenda was finally pregnant, at 28 weeks, naturally, after so many years of trying due to PCOS. But unfortunately, she and her husband couldn't afford IVF when they lived in Idaho since their insurance didn't cover it at the time.

Finally, Lea was the last person to volunteer to introduce herself. She took a deep breath and then started talking. "I'm Lea, and a friend recommended this class to me. I'm 31 years old, and this is my second pregnancy. I'm currently 23 weeks, a big milestone because I officially made it past 22 weeks, when I lost my last baby. I at least hope I make it to 24 weeks. When my husband and I were ready to conceive again, we learned that I had Asherman's syndrome, which is scar tissue from my D and C and the surgery I had on my uterus. I had to have surgery and wait a year before trying again. It took us three months," she explained. "However, I've been struggling with hyperemesis gravidarum, and there is still the risk of me developing a uterine rupture during labor. And I don't take my uterus for granted anymore."

On the bright side, 23 weeks (at almost 24 weeks, actually) was when Shaun could finally feel the baby move a little bit, something he sadly didn't experience the last time when Lea was pregnant. Ever since he could feel it, he and Lea would start talking to the baby almost every night.

And when Lea reached six months and when she was 24 weeks, she looked obviously pregnant to everyone around her, as her belly could no longer be easily hidden with baggy clothes or be mistaken for having a big lunch or just bloating. Seeing her very pregnant belly for the first time in the bathroom mirror felt surreal for Lea because she believed that was when she looked 100% pregnant, given that her bump was much more evident and noticeable now.

The third trimester was not only the most unbearable for Lea (feeling disgusting, being exhausted, insomnia, back pain, heartburn, squished organs, leg cramps, always needing to pee, and the baby's foot lodged beneath her ribcage) due to just being so done with being pregnant. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she would wonder how other people, especially her mom, could handle the pain of the third trimester when they had a toddler...or even do this more than once, especially five times.

At 29 weeks, she decided to switch to a midwife because she was starting to dislike Dr. Winkler since her HG diagnosis. Lea also thought Dr. Winkler didn't like Shaun very much either. Fortunately, they were able to find an awesome qualified, certified nurse-midwife. Imelda had 20 years of experience in nursing and midwifery, two children of her own, and was on the spectrum herself. She, Lea, and Shaun got along quite well.

Lea was glad that her husband, a surgeon, trusted Imelda and had faith and trust in certified midwives. However, it took a while for Lea to convince her parents that she was in good hands with a midwife (and also their shock that Shaun would agree to this) since they immediately assumed that she would be giving birth at home when they heard the word "midwife".

"I don't understand," said Pam. "Why would you want someone who isn't certified to deliver your baby. How did you even get Shaun, a doctor, to agree to this? Does Dr. Glassman agree with this?"

"Do you even know the things that could go wrong during a home birth," Mike added, sounding concerned. "How long would it take for an ambulance to get from your house to the hospital?"

"Didn't you say you were at risk for a ruptured uterus?" Pam reminded. "You've already been hospitalized three times."

"Okay, first of all, I'm still giving birth at the hospital. Two, Imelda is competent, educated, and qualified to deliver a baby. She has a master's degree. And yes, Shaun trusts her," defended Lea. "Imelda also recommended that I give birth in a hospital, and I can still have an epidural."

On the plus side, she really enjoyed being pampered by Shaun. He not only took on the duty of cleaning out Poppy's litter box and picking up Lucy's poop (she wasn't supposed to do that stuff while pregnant anyway), but he also treated her like a princess the further along she got in her pregnancy. He massaged her back and feet, set up candlelight dinners, cooked for her, took baths and showers with her, and even caved into every single craving she had.

Although, dealing with her hormones was no picnic for him, especially when she had random or late night cravings.

"Shaun," Lea whispered quietly, shaking Shaun. "Shaun, get up."

"Is something wrong, Lea?" Shaun opened his eyes groggily, feeling his fist lightly touch the pregnancy pillow as he stretched. "Is something wrong with the baby?"

"No, the baby is fine."

"Oh," yawned Shaun. "Then what is it?"

"I know it's two in the morning, but..."

Shaun stared at her in anticipation. "But, what?"

"Can you go into the kitchen and make me some nachos," she requested in only one breath.

"Right now?" Shaun grumbled. "We don't have any tortilla chips."

"But I need them," Lea begged in her nasal voice. "Can you go to the store and get some chips, please?"

"Okay, I'll go to the store and get some tortilla chips," Shaun sighed and caved in, aware that something like this might happen since Dr. Glassman and Park warned him about it. "Anything else?"

"Yes, I would also like some glazed donuts, Flamin' Hot Cheetos, and green tea ice cream," she listed her requests before telling him something he might not want to hear. "Oh, and some pickles, please."

Shaun exhaled as he got out of bed to put on his socks and shoes, about to go to the store in his pajamas in the middle of the night, all for his pregnant wife...just as long as she doesn't dip the pickles into any of the other stuff and contaminates it with pickle juice. "Okay, I'll be right back, and then I'll make you some nachos."

"Thanks, Shaunie," she grinned, snuggling back into her pregnancy pillow. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he leaned over to kiss her lips and belly.

However, the downside to the last third of her pregnancy was that she was a people magnet with her big belly, the belly that made it impossible for her to see her feet. As a result, she and Shaun often received a lot of advice. While some of the advice they received from friends, family, and acquaintances was helpful, they also received some unhelpful, unsolicited advice from strangers. For example, Shaun was told by a patient that he would need to start potty-training the baby as soon as they were one. Most of all, it was painful for both of them whenever they were asked if this was their first baby. When they answered no, they would then be asked how old their other child was. After that, they would finally explain what happened.

Besides dealing with people wanting to touch her belly without her consent, Lea also had to deal with rude subordinates; her patience with some of them had worn thin. In addition, she found out that they had been betting on the sex of her child.

At 30 weeks, Lea and Shaun had their low-key baby shower and then decorated the nursery, agreeing on a theme of sunshine and rainbows, where the colors of the walls would be light blue with rainbows, clouds, and suns. Dr. Glassman helped them put the nursery furniture together.

For the rest of the pregnancy, there were more and more phone calls between Lea and Pam, and everyone kept telling her to take it easy as she and Shaun waited for the baby to be born. Then, when Lea was 37 weeks, Shaun finally finished painting the nursery walls while also preparing for Christmas.

Throughout her entire pregnancy, they tried to have good vibes.

Lea naturally woke up at 3:25 am with Lucy draped across her legs. The weight of the dog was crushing her legs, making it impossible for her to get up.

"Lucy," she commanded groggily, clicking her tongue and then gesturing her arm for her to get off the bed. "Down."

The yellow goldendoodle obeyed, immediately getting up and hopping off the bed, but she still followed Lea around as she walked around the room.

Lea noticed that Eva's bassinet and Shaun's side of the bed was empty, so she assumed that Shaun had taken her out to the living room or to the nursery.

She then waddled over into the living room, Lucy following her, only to notice that the back porch light was on and that Shaun was quietly sitting out there in his jacket and slippers with Eva, who was wrapped in a blanket, in his arms. Poppy was still inside, relaxing on the window sill.

Well, she thought she might as well join them, so she grabbed her jacket that was hanging on the hall tree in the dining room, put it on, opened the door and then signaled to Lucy to come with her.

"Come on, Lucy," she whistled, and then the dog immediately walked out with Lea.

AN: So, no matter what happens tonight, I will publish the last chapter whenever I can.