AN: I own nothing and all right go towards their respective Owners
Wikis were exceptionally helpful for my unenlightened mind of 40k
Either way, this is my first try at this as I got inspiration from the Warhammer 40k: Shootas Blood and Teef soundtrack. It filled my writer's spirit with some proper orky inspiration. I apologize if anything is wrong as I am still fairly new to 40k. Thanks to the few who read and I appreciate you all. For those who want an update for TMK just know that I'm kinda stuck. It might happen as I think I found my muse again but, time will tell eh?
Guardsman Daniel Craig hates his life on this backwater planet. Everything sucked here. The ration bars that normally tasted like nothing and were dry now tasted like how Tyranids smelled and were uncomfortably moist. He wasn't complaining anywhere where his commissar could hear though, he definitely would get shot if the commissar heard. Wrapping it all up with dislikes were the current enemies of the imperium of man that Daniel was facing. The dreaded greenskins.
He didn't particularly like or dislike them, only that they were loud and smelly. Daniel had faced them before, just not on this planet of Iociorin Minoris. Their giant machines that belched terrible black smog across the battlefield, their numerous wordless cries of war, and the mountainous warboss commanding them all. The very earth trembled before the monstrous somehow smug-looking squigs and their riders. The various shoddy weaponry wielded by the orks shot all over the battlefield, not caring whether it hit a friend or foe. The most terrifying part of the orks though was their front line. A green tide of clashing armor and bullets. Large nobs crushing through their minions all to get to the battlefield faster. Larger orks tearing the heads off of gretchins for a pre-battle snack all the while yelling the primal warcry of WAAAAAAAAAAGH!
He had seen it before but it was just a small one compared to the one rumored to be amassing just beyond the sensors of humanity. The small one he had seen was dealt with relatively easily. An assassin from the Officio Assassinorum took out the warboss and a further bombardment took care of the rest, eviscerating even the very spore that the orks spawned from, wiping out the threat from ever harming the planet again. With that battle ended Daniel was shuttled off to Iociorin Minoris to battle once more.
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Orks were great simple-minded creatures. Their mind is only filled with the desire to fight. To get the adrenaline of fighting against a worthy. To get a good scrap goin and to win that scrap to take more scrap! It was to this end that the great ork warboss upon Iociorin Minoris thought up a very brutally cunnin plan.
"I'ze gotz it boyz! We'ze smash em' and we krump em good! So good that dem humies have to fight back with dem beakeis o theirs!" Snagbog Teefblaster shouted, much to the enjoyment of the other ork nobs surrounding him. "NOW! LETS TAKE THEYZ SCRAP AND BEAT EM UP! LETS WAAAAAAAGH!"
Thousands upon thousands of orks repeated the call, racing to their nearest looted trukk and warbike. Overloading them with so many orks it should've collapsed under the weight but instead, the vehicles all roared with a ferocity to match the orks and sped off toward the humans. Never mind that they were in a forest, all the machines ran over the trees into dust under the wheels. If an unlucky ork was to get caught by a tree and then under a vehicle it would not be a large loss as there were many to replace a unorky ork who couldn't get to the battlefield.
Snagbog Teefblaster's brutally kunnin plan worked amazingly, and the treeline receded to show a large fortress with plenty a metal to scrap. Large gun placements with trenches drawn over the battlefield like a plowed field. Puny humies ran all round in a frenzy with a large smile growing on the warbosses' face.
"WAAAAAAAAGH!" He yelled upon his mega dread, jumping up and down in a frenzy, he couldn't wait to smash some of de puny humies and fight some of dem beakie boyz, they were always fun. Naturally, Snagbog had never seen a beakie boy but the last warboss that he stomped had and had always said they were always up for a good scrap. It filled his very bones and blood with excitement so much so that it went through his body to his mouth in a cry of "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!"
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"It shoulda been easy. It shoulda been fun! But it was no fun! Dem humies were supposhed to squishy and easy to krump! They were all 'ard and un-squished!" -Ork Nob of Snagbog Teefblaster
The thousands upon thousands of orks had died in a massive counterattack by the Imperium. Guns that weren't there one second now were there. Heavy stubbers, heavy bolters, artillery, vulture squads, and even the oh-so-desired 'Beakie boyz'. They weren't here for a fun fight though, they were here for a prepared counterattack to wipe the ork scum off Iociorin Minoris. Blasting down from the two strike cruisers from orbit they wrecked through the ork line, killing most of the powerful orks along with several other killa kans and deff dreads. This attack was so successful the lowliest grot of the bunch turned tail and ran, this one gretchin caused the entire mass of gretchin's on the battlefield to falter and try to turn to run. Some were successful and got away while others were grabbed and forcefully punted back into enemy lines. This un-orkiness however enraged the gorkiest and morkiest ork upon the battlefield, the ork warboss.
"THOSE GROTS THINKS THEY CAN RUN SOON AS A GOOD SCRAP APPEARS EH? I DONT FINK MUCH O DAT NOW DO I?" Teefblaster bellowed at his nobz "IZZ FINKS ITS TIME TO MAKEZ A EXAMPLE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Barreling straight toward a chaplain of the space marines Teefblasta majestically raised his mega choppa and swung down with the might of at least six ork nobz. His valiant strike however was for naught as he was brutally ripped apart by both the chaplain and two terminators each with a lightning claw. There was no trace of the ork left, further shattering the morale of the orks left around him. A particularly morkish orc was left yellin.
"RETREAT!" and with this announcement, the orc lines finally broke until they paused in awe. The utter Gorkishness of what they were seein left the orks in awe. A mass of green lighting was coalescing far out in the orbit of the planet. It was so bright, so large, and so beautifully orkish that not even the lowliest of gretchins(in fact the one that had tried to leave) could take their eyes off it. A mass of metal, rock, and purple paint shoved its way out of the green storm. It was the most feared of ork space draft. A rok, and a rok that had seemed to be tellyportad by some weirdboyz. All knew now that a massive ork rok was traveling through space around the planet and it was not moving quietly. With a massive explosion and the sound of screeching metal that was consumed by the void of space the ork rok punched through not one but both of the strike cruisers that were futilely trying to move off of the pathway of mass destruction that the rok commanded by just being there.
The ork rok just kept picking up speed and within a few minutes of pummelling its way through the space marine cruisers it was rapidly crashing toward the battlefield with a reckless abandon usual of the orks. Faster and Faster and FASTER AND FASTER! It sailed toward the Imperium side of the battlefield slamming into a particularly dense battlement. A great could of dust was sprayed all across the battlefield, and the wind caused by this rok were vicious, even blowing some guardsman off their feet while buffeting the space marines.
It was all quet on the battlefield, not even the humblest lasgun was firing but then a sudden beat of drums and the strum of a guitar the side plating of the rock slid off to reveal large red speakers. With a beat that filled every ork up with glee the speakers belted off the first wave of lyrics.
AN:(Ork Song for this, not sure how it will work, is recommended to listen to.)
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
It wasn't much of lyrics but it got the surviving orks moving. They picked up their sluggas and choppas, boomstikks and rokkits, gretchin launchers and squiq reins, and prepared for the musical elements of WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH about to hit their blessed eardrums. The speakers then belted out another set of lyrics setting the orks eyes alight with a intense green fire.
Out in da warp
Wiff nuffin' ta do
Not even a mutiny
Ta cheer up the crew
Lookin' for somewhere
Ta kick up a stink
We need sumfin' ta fight
Like we need grog to drink
Lookin' for worlds
Wiff some 'umies ta crush
Ta bring armor-geddem
And grind them ta dust
Hit 'em hard, hit 'em low
Give 'em plenty of dakka
Dakka!
With that last lyric the rok's inhabitants that had been laying a sneaky plan acted upon it, the largest gaping holes to the smallest peepholes were filled with gun barrels. Blasting rows upon rows of ammunition, the dakka brought upon those puny humies could've made many an ork cry in happiness. Rokkits of all sizes left the rok with clouds of smoke and accompanying explosions ripped through everything surrounding the rok with no survivors. The massive salvo that the rok had belched out slowed to a stop with nary an ork in sight. The surviving commissars that had dived into the trenches tried to rally their troops to attack the rok. Hundreds of guardsman squads with Lemass Russ tanks and space marines bravely charged toward the rok with cries of "FOR THE EMPEROR!" "FOR THE IMPERIUM!" and a singular cry that was brutally cut off by a commissar before it could be fully spoken, " BLOOD FOR THE-".
While in most battles an enemy wouldn't forget about another enemy. This battle however wasn't just any normal battle, it was an unknown and the Imperium doesn't like unknowns. Trying to eradicate something before it truly started the surviving commissars and higher-ups of military command forgot one crucial enemy and therefore forgot to resupply the troops on that front. The orks that were once thought broken turned around and belted out the next part of the lyrics along with the speaker as if they knew it deep within their fungus-like souls.
It's WAAAAGH!
WAAAAGH!
Nuffin' stands in our way!
It's WAAAAGH!
WAAAAGH!
Leave nuffin' but ruins behind!
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
The newly reformed ork line bit into the humans like an Exacto knife to a string, it was no contest. Bullets that would have eviscerated a normal human, and that definitely should have normally killed an ork were ignored in favor of singing along with the greatest song in ork kind.
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
Orks were now rushing out of the rok from doors that simply weren't there before, all belting out the glorious song.
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
A rising platform from the top of the rok was slowly lit up with the greenest green light that can ever be imaginable, and knowing the orks they thought it was the greenest so it was. It revealed the greatest ork band known to ork kind. The Metal Gitz. They were universe renowned and orks all over the galaxy tried to even get a note of their music. They were so orky they both made music for orks by orks with it being louder than anything orks had ever heard before while also bashin any git who didn't understand their music until they did. The band got ready for the next bout of lyrics and the whole ork army tensed as a whole, ready for some gudd 'ol krumpin.
Dead shooty, our shootas
Well green is our skin
Orks only knows how to krump and to win!
Smashin' up tin heads and takin' their scrap
Spiky boyz, gene sneakers - all dem go splat!
Space marines were smashed flat, tanks that withstood many an ork were ripped open by only a group of ten, and commissars that were supposed to keep order were brutally run over by the rapidly advancing green tide. There was no safe place to hide. Until there was, a baneblade that had been kept in reserve as it was thought it wasn't needed. It rolled through the battlefield already with a retinue of humans that sought safety from the green menace.
You fink you's bigga, is dat right?
Well, you brought a knife to a shoota fight!
There's only one fing
That we believe in
And universe, it's coming for you
With that last word said the rok revealed its trump card. An affront to anyone who believed in any machine working how intended. The roke simply broke apart to reveal many dakka jets and fighta bombas launching from nothing, thought impossible brought into reality. That wasn't the biggest problem the Imperium of man faced from this though. It was a Big Mek's Stompa. Fighted with so many guns, so many orks, and so much red. The only differing part of the norm was the large pole strapped to its back carrying the band. The big mek Stompa let loose a salvo and the orks cheered with the next part of the song.
It's WAAAAGH!
WAAAAGH!
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
WAAAAGH!
WAAAAGH!
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
The Big Mek Stompa's slavo that was so cheered by orks ripped through the baneblade as though it was an untrained mind in front of a grey knight. There was no salvation for those in front behind inside or even miles away from the baneblade was the salvo so great.
No puny 'umie is gonna kill me
I'm watched over by the greenest gods in da galaxy
Oi, you miserable gits
What do you want?
The orks answered with a roar that shattered the very earth the humans were standing on.
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
I can't hear you!
What do you need?
This time their yell was followed up with carnage so great that even the mighty Khorne greatly felt it and decided to look into it. With a mighty laugh that spawned many lesser daemons, Khorne reveled in the blood upon that battlefield. While he couldn't corrupt an ork Khorne still felt great pleasure in the skulls that were being taken that very moment.
When da green wave is comin'
Then death's a relief
We're out on da warpath for
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
Smashin' dere cities
And givin' dem grief
It's all dat we live for
It's Shootas, Blood and Teef!
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
Shootas, Blood and Teef!
Daniel Craig wasn't sure if he was to be counted lucky that he was alive, but his last order was to alert all of the imperium that there is a new ork threat and it possessed far greater power than any of them had anticipated. In his opinion, exterminatus was coming and he hoped that it would come with haste. There was no hope against Them Metal Gitz