Sonic woke up one morning wearing a gimp suit and surrounded by five and a half naked men. You're probably wondering why.
Me too.
Chapter One: SEYGA
"Get the fuck out, Sonic, your contract is terminated!" screams an angry man with narrow, slanted eyes in a magical language.
"Darn!" Sonic Says. "Darn it all!"
A black guy came buy. "Dis po-ass-muddafukka still on channel wan, yo!" he chuckles, referring to the fact that channel one is a kids show channel in Barneyland.
"Flip off, Shadow, I'm mourning!"
Shadow gasps, insulted by the vulgar retort that slithered through Sonic's lips. He grabs two miniguns and aims at the ground, shooting and sending himself up into space at the cost of $800,000 every twelve seconds.
Sonic does a backflip and goes home to his box.