A/N: So, this chapter was previously attached to the prior one, but it was getting long for what I generally want for these, so now it's two!

Six

It was finally Dry Goods Run Day.

Unlike the frequent deliveries of perishables and tide-overs that the Baratie received from whatever traders were willing to sail to them, it was fairly standard to use the day they needed to restock on the restaurant's shelf-stable items as a day off for most of the crew. The chefs, kitchen help, and waitstaff alike all relished in their ability to fuck the fuck off to places unknown for the day, making it so that the only ones really working were Sanji, Patty, and Carne as they hand-picked their spices and flours and dried grains and whatnot.

"Zoro-oji! Zoro-oji! What's that?!"

...oh, yeah, Zoro was technically working too.

"It's a balloon," he said flatly, looking in the direction Asido was pointing. They were in the middle of the port's market, where the boy was staring wide-eyed at anything and everything they came across. "Haven't you ever seen a balloon, kid?"

"Not really…" the boy muttered. His green-haired adult exhaled heavily and picked the boy up, allowing him to bury his face in his shoulder. The kid ran his moods more lopsidedly than his shitty uncle, which honestly said more than the swordsman wanted to admit.

"Would you like one?" he asked.

"…no…"

"Well, if you change your mind, you know all you need to do is ask, okay?"

Asido nodded into his shoulder and Zoro tried not to sigh. Here he was: one of the greatest swordsmen alive, to have ever lived. He was one of the Pirate King's Wings, for fuck's sake, only to be reduced to the shit-cook's babysitter for the past week. Was it two? Three? He really didn't know anymore. It wasn't the kid's fault that his uncle was literally one of the most annoying fucks to exist on the seas, but that was neither there nor here. Then again, it wasn't even as though it was entirely the shit-cook's fault he was in this position—there was plenty of blame to be spread amongst a disturbing amount of other people, and none of them were in the port nor on the ship.

"Is there anything you'd like?" he asked.

"Mom…" the boy croaked.

"Well, it's just me, so we're going to have to make do."

"Okay…" Asido mumbled into Zoro's neck, clinging to him desperately. "Do you know when Mom's coming back? I really miss her."

"I'm sure she misses you too," he replied. Zoro saw other groups of people as he wandered around, including families with kids. A little girl—about the sprout's age, he guessed—bounced up and down as she waited for her dads to finish acquiring snacks from a stall, and it sent a pang through him. Words long-said rattled around in his head, making him hug the boy in his arms just a bit tighter.

You want to know why I never went to Totto Land? Because instead of just defeating them, I would have murdered everyone for taking you away from me.

They had been words whispered in the cook's ear, hot and heavy as he had made a pass in their last remaining moments in Wano. He had been pushed away then, a rejection that was loud and clear, starting the agonizing path that led to their falling out. Now, by some cruel twist of fate, he was holding a child that looked like Sanji, as though they had rescued him from Totto Land after Luffy became Pirate King instead of before their siege of Wano. It was a kid that very easily could have come out of the Charlotte honey trap, or possibly even that dancer woman from Dressrosa… or…

What would he have done, if the blond showed up on the doorstep, a child in his arms and an apology on his lips?

Fuck… he really didn't want to think of that now.

Finding a vendor that sold dorayaki, Zoro bought his charge a snack, taking the portable nature of the treat to his advantage as he continued to wander around the port market. While he was not able to find the way out of the market, he eventually ran into Sanji, who seemed more amiable than usual.

"Alright Marimo, you're relieved," he said. He reached for Asido and the boy willingly allowed himself to be passed, clinging to his uncle's brightly-patterned shirt tightly. Sanji bounced the boy slightly and pressed a kiss to his hair before turning back to his crewmate. "Follow the street down to the docks and you'll find the supply boat."

"Sure," the mossman grunted. He ruffled the kid's hair before sulking off, leaving the pair alone.

"I don't know if I like islands," Asido frowned. Sanji chuckled at that as he began to stroll idly through the market—of all the things to be genetic.

"I don't like them too much either," he admitted. "We grew up on boats and ships, with water always under us. Islands aren't like that, and I think we can tell a lot easier than other people."

"Yeah." The boy settled into his uncle's shoulder, the top of his head wedging in the crook of the man's neck, before sniffling, "I want Mom."

"I want to give her to you, but you know I don't know when she'll be back," he said. A storefront then caught his eye and he patted the boy's arm. "Hey, there's a clothing store over there. Let's go ahead and get you some new stuff like I said we would."

"'Cause I'm gonna grow soon, right?"

"Yup."

"Well, I hope I don't grow too much, or Mom might not recognize me."

Deciding to not touch that, Sanji took his nephew into the clothing store, glad when the prospect of curiously new things distracted Asido from his doldrums. They were able to find several new sets of clothes for the boy, as well as a couple jackets and pairs of shoes, some pajamas, slippers, and a bathrobe that was comically big on him.

"Can I get a robe like Zoro-oji?" Asido asked as he flapped the sleeves of his new bathrobe. Sanji peeled the garment off the lad and handed it to the clerk.

"That's a special kind of robe—you'd have to ask him," he replied. Asido then shrugged and bounced off to look at a display of girls' clothes while the two adults sorted everything.

"He certainly is full of curiosity," the clerk chuckled. Sanji rolled his eyes.

"He's not used to dry land, so I'm just glad he's distracted," he admitted. "Oh, no, wait, not this one; I'm going to pretend you forgot to ring it when we're two days out."

"I'll gladly play the villain if that's the case," the clerk said. They stashed the t-shirt with a Sora, Warrior of the Sea logo across the front out of sight and continued folding the rest. "Your son a fan of the comic?"

"Something like that." Sanji checked on Asido from where he was standing and frowned. "Azuki bean, is this you telling me you want one?"

"No…" the boy replied from the dresses.

"Then why are you still over there?"

"I was thinking about if Merry might like these." He picked one off the rack and held it high. "This one would look nice on Lea, but weird on Montie! Why is that?"

"We're here to shop for you, not your cousins."

"Uncle Saaaaaanjiiiiii…!"

"Look, don't touch," the blond warned. The clerk stifled a snicker as Asido and Sanji sported matching scowls.

"My apologies," they smirked. "That's a strong family resemblance."

"Eh; my sister and I could have been twins," Sanji shrugged. "Didn't correct you, did I?"

"True." The clerk nodded deftly before tallying up the total. Money was exchanged and they started to bag it up. "Pardon me for prying," Sanji raised his visible eyebrow, "but you might want to consider taking a catalog with you. If you're at sea often, then it might be too long between ports before his next growth spurt, and the next one you're at might not have a shop like ours."

"I… don't know how long I'll have him…"

"We deliver most items by News Coo, and the packaging is plain, in case any of it ends up being a present or some other surprise," the clerk continued, unfazed. "Kids are hard, especially ones you didn't plan on."

"How…?"

"You just came in and bought enough to fill a child-sized closet; you might be a natural with him, but it's clear you just got him in a weird way." They finished packing the two bags and placed the receipt in one and a goods catalog in the other. "He looks happy interacting with you, if it helps. His parents put him in good hands."

"You must see a lot of people if you're able to glean all that."

"I work at one of the few dedicated children's clothing stores in the area—a lot barely covers it." They offered a polite smile as Sanji took the bags. "My apologies, again."

"Eh, whatever," Sanji muttered. He then looked at Asido again, who was still staring at the dresses. "Azuki bean! We're leaving! What do you say?"

"Thank you for taking care of us!" the boy beamed as he joined his uncle. He waved at the clerk as they walked out, then proceeded to hold Sanji's hand as they wandered the market. "Where do you think we can find clothes like Zoro-oji?"

"Why do you want to dress like Zoro-oji?"

"Well, he's gonna teach me swords, right? So I got to have swords clothes!"

Sanji almost stopped walking entirely in order to process his nephew's logic. "You know, people who fight with swords can wear anything they want. There's no uniform you have to wear."

"Really…?"

"Yeah; now let's get back to the boat and make sure everything's been delivered."

"Okay!"

It didn't take long to get to the supply boat at the wharf, where there was the unusually relief-laden sight of the marimo stomping onto the craft while Patty and Carne took inventory of everything that had been dropped off by varying vendors from around the port.

"This is a lot of shit, kid," Carne mentioned as he tapped a pallet of flour with the end of his pen. "Sure you aren't going by how much you need to feed that captain of yours?"

"I'm sure, you limp-dicked half-rate," Sanji huffed, no venom to his voice. He helped Asido into the boat before bringing the bags on, putting them down next to some other bags and boxes he didn't recognize. "What the fuck's this?"

"Errands for our actual boss," Patty sniped. "Just because he's out of commission doesn't mean he can't have needs, nor that we should ignore them."

"The idea that he's having you take care of things instead of me only tells me that the geezer's up to something," Sanji frowned. He decided to wait until they were back at the Baratie to address whatever the fuck was going on, instead taking the opportunity to double-check his wares. Once everything was triple-checked and on the boat, they set off, heading back to the restaurant. They made it well before dinnertime, with Zoro helping Asido bring aboard the stuff for him and Zeff while the chefs all unloaded the restaurant's supplies.

Bringing the dried goods aboard and sorting them all in their proper places was always a hassle, but once it was done, Sanji felt a great sense of accomplishment. He breathed a sigh of relief and decided to make something a little more involved for his family for dinner… and the Moss too… he guessed. An experimental curry, utilizing some spices he found on the island that caught his eye, though not too spicy so he could further gauge his nephew's palate. He carefully made plenty of the stew and rice and left it in serving dishes, bringing everything up as such so that he could allow everyone to take what they wanted, while any leftover could be used as a staff snack the following day.

Opening the door to Zeff's room with a gentle push of his hip, Sanji brought the meal into the room only to nearly drop it. There, he saw Asido sitting in one of the geezer's armchairs, wrapped up in a blanket he could not remember while reading what looked like the fabled first collected volume of Sora, Warrior of the Sea. Zeff and Zoro were sitting at the table, both pains-in-his-ass stopping their conversation and looking at him nearly sheepishly as he stopped and stared.

"Oh! Uncle Sanji! Look what Grandpa Zeff got me!" Asido slid out of the chair and held up the book proudly. "It's Sora! And a blanket! And some other stuffs!"

"Did he now…?" Sanji said, throwing a glare at his foster father. The old man refused to make eye contact, pretending that there was instead something vaguely interesting with his still-extant foot. "You can show me everything after dinner, alright?"

"Okay! Zoro-oji helped me unpack everything we bought today, so I can show you then!"

"He helped you unpack, eh?" Sanji asked, turning his attention to Zoro. The mosshead simply took his plate and began shoveling rice onto it, well-used to ignoring the death-stare the blond often threw him. "This is beginning to sound more and more like a couple someones might have broken rules while I was busy with dinner."

"No big deal, twirls," Zoro mumbled. "The kid's allowed to be comfortable."

"If you need me to say it, eggplant, the kid's in what's technically my house, and I say it's fine," Zeff mentioned. He saw as Asido was trying to fold his blanket on his own and chuckled. "We'll take care of it later, azuki. Get over here and eat before your uncle has a coronary."

"Okay!" the boy replied cheerily. He sat down at the table and stared at what Sanji was putting on his plate. "What's that…?"

"Curry," the blond replied.

"I thought curry is red and kinda soupy."

"That's how they like curries in the North—we're not in the North Blue now," Sanji explained. "This kind of curry style originated in a place called Wano, on the Grand Line. Zoro-oji and I went there a long time ago."

"Okay, cool!" Asido took a giant chunk of potato and shoveled it in his mouth, only to spit it back onto the plate in tears. "Ow! Too hot!"

Sanji closed his eyes and tried not to grimace. Just… why…?

"At least you know he's not picky," Zeff chuckled. Sanji rolled his eyes and kept serving dinner—sure, he guessed.

After dinner, Sanji went to go inspect his nephew's room, finding that plenty had happened while he was occupied with cooking. The boy's clothes were put away neatly, utilizing a level of organization that he did not think Asido or Mosshead were capable of coordinating. Books previously absent sat neatly in the bookshelf and some boxes sat in the corner, one suspiciously looking like flat-pack furniture.

"Old man said the kid needed a desk," Zoro explained casually as he followed the blond in. "I'll put it together tomorrow."

"Can you even read the directions?" Sanji sniped.

"I'm not illiterate."

"Could have fooled me."

"Do you like my new books, Uncle Sanji?" Asido asked, reminding the men that the kid was still there. He looked at the now-full shelf, seeing that it was full of those damned Sora, Warrior of the Sea compilations. There were a few regular storybooks, but Sora was the bulk of the lot. "Mister Patty and Mister Carne helped Grandpa Zeff get the comics, and Zoro-oji got me the other ones!"

Sanji blinked. "He did…?"

"Yeah! And he got me these!" Asido dove into the corner of the closet and pulled out a pair of shinai, at which Sanji tried his best not to scowl. "He said that I need to be ready for when we start swords!"

"…which might be a while, remember?" Zoro replied, trying to cover up what was clearly supposed to be a secret. "Some people are never old enough to hold a weapon, let alone a sword."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I won't!" the boy reasoned. "I can do flippy stuff and sword stuff!"

"Uh-huh, yeah, I'll flip you right off the deck," Sanji scoffed jokingly. He gave Asido a wink and the boy giggled. "Now go clean up your stuff in the geezer's room, okay? You're getting a bath tonight."

"Zoro-oji doesn't get baths!"

"Zoro-oji is also a barbarian, and we are not; now get going." The two men watched the child dash from the room, giving them an opportunity alone. "You didn't have to do any of this, mosshead."

"I know." He watched as Sanji took one of the books off the shelf and flipped through it. "That was, uh, the only one I actually remembered. The woman at the bookstore helped with the rest."

"Of all things, 'Noland the Liar' is what you remembered?"

"Blame Usopp…?"

Sanji threw Zoro an unimpressed look. "You're a goddamned moron, you know that?"

"I'm not the one who's so wrapped up in his own trauma that he forgot that kids need stuff to do other than practice kicks and flips," Zoro sniped.

"So getting him excited to become a potential new sword-moron is the answer?" Sanji hissed.

"I meant the books and you know it."

"…and how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Kids like books…?"

"How would you know?!"

"I just do, alright?!"

"So you were into books? When you were a kid?"

"…no…"

"Then I'm not sure I want to know…" Sanji stopped when he saw Asido come back into the room with his new book and blanket, both of which he put on the bed. "That's not where they go."

"I wanna read more before bed!" the boy claimed. "I need my Reading Blanket to do that!"

"Okay, sure; say goodnight to Zoro-oji," Sanji said quickly. Asido did and went over to the closet to pull out his new pajamas, giving his uncle just enough time to grit out a fake smile. "Good night, Marimo."

"Night, Twirly-Brow." Zoro shrugged in irritation before leaving, not really wanting to push the envelope with the kid right there. No sooner did he close the door behind him did Asido pop back at Sanji's side, holding his pajamas high above his head.

"These?" the boy asked.

"If those are what you want, now come on." Sanji attempted to lead his nephew into the bathroom, who was adamantly protesting, all the way down to kicking his feet once picked up. "You didn't mind bathing before."

"I don't gotta take baths if Zoro-oji doesn't!" the kid pouted. "It's not fair!"

"Normal people bathe or shower regularly; if Zoro-oji wants to be gross and not bathe, then that's on him. He's an adult. You, however," he sat Asido down on the toilet lid, "are still a kid. That means you're still learning. Can't break the rules unless you know them."

"That's dumb," Asido scowled. "Baths are dumb."

"Merry gets baths almost every day."

"Zoro-oji says girls have to, though!"

Sanji shuddered at the very thought of Zoro having had a conversation with Asido about how much bathing is too much bathing. Fuck… gross…

"I shower every night, so don't give me that nonsense," he warned. "Now come on… you like lavender?" Asido nodded and Sanji began to draw the water, pouring in the bubble bath as the kid presumably got ready…

…only for him to turn around and find that he fled from the room.

Fucking hell.