Disclaimer : I do not own Ah! My Goddess, Alice in Wonderland, or Hanaukyo Maid Tai.

You might be wondering about that last one. I'm stealing the plot from chapter 30 of the manga.

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How Keiichi wound up in Wonderland, he didn't know. He could have done without him wearing Alice's blue dress.

Just about every character was being played by someone that he knew. Whether or not they believed they were the character varied person-to-person.

The Cheshire Cat was Chibi-Hild and they knew they were playing a role. She was dressed in reddish pink cat onesies pajamas.

Aoshima was the Caterpillar and still had his smarmy attitude, but really thought he was his character he was playing. He was in a blue version of his usual business suit.

Chihiro was the White Rabbit, though she was dressed in a playboy bunny outfit. She ran too fast for him to talk to.

Keiichi couldn't help but laugh when he saw that Tamiya and Otaki were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Whether or not they were playing a role or thought they were the character was up in the air.

Eventually, he was in the courtroom of the Queen of Hearts… who was late. She wasn't even in her courtyard.

'Well, I guess Sayoko would be fashionable late…' Keiichi thought, fully expecting Belldandy to appear and save him the moment Sayoko gives the 'off with his head' order.

"All rise for the Queen of Hearts!" Lind the prosecutor loudly said.

He froze when he saw Urd stroll in, dressed in a clingy red-and-white robe that had a heart motif. She even had a crown that had jewels in the shape of hearts. She said, "Sorry, folks, Just was christening a few more merchant boats!"

A guard nearby Keiichi whispered, "Potion ingredients."

Keiichi dumbly nodded.

Queen of Hearts Urd sat down on her high throne and was handed a scroll. She read it and muttered, "So… an intruder by the name of Keiichi?"

She looked down at Keiichi with a frown that turned into an amused smirk. "Nice dress, but it's not your style. Ever think about something else?"

"Wonderland seems to be forcing me to wear it. I tried to get a shirt and pants, but weasels stole the pants and crows took the shirt. I tried to cut the dress into something of my style, but the clothes broke the scissors," Keiichi answered.

Queen of Hearts Urd looked away and sighed, "Yeah, that's Wonderland for you. I'd change it if I could."

"So… a quick question. Are you a goddess?" Keiichi asked.

Queen of Hearts Urd looked back with a grin and said, "Nope! Just a Queen of Hearts, but thank you for thinking I'm a goddess. Flattery will get you everywhere!"

Someone then said, "Can we get on with it?"

"Right, Right. The court thing…" Queen of Hearts Urd muttered. After pounding her gavel, she ordered, "Send in the first witness!"

Aoshima the caterpillar walked onto the podium next to the throne, giving Urd a sleazy grin.

Queen of Hearts Urd pointed her gavel at Aoshima and said, "Death sentence for the witness."

"Eh?! This isn't legal!" Aoshima cried out as he was dragged off by the guards.

"This is Wonderland and I'm the Queen of Hearts. Next witness!" Queen of Hearts Urd ordered.

Senbei the Mad Hatter and Troubadour the March Hare walked up and…

"Death sentence for the Witnesses," A bored Queen of Hearts Urd said, idly looking at her gavel.

"We didn't even get to speak, o fair Queen of my heart!" Troubadour cried out as he and Senbei were dragged away.

Queen of Hearts Urd pointed the Gavel at Keiichi and said, "Your turn to speak, Keiichi!"

Keiichi shivered a little, fearing what could happen to him.

Once he was on the podium, Queen of Hearts Urd asked, "So…Keiichi… Why intrude here?"

"I woke up here and in this dress. I'm trying to find my way home," Keiichi answered.

"Next Question," Queen of Hearts Urd began. "Are you single?"

"Erhm what?!" Keiichi exclaimed.

"Answer," Queen of Hearts Urd ordered.

"I'm dating your sister, Belldandy!" Keiichi answered.

Queen of Hearts Urd rubbed her chin with the gavel for a few moments. She then leered at Keiichi, saying, "Nope. The Queen of Spades is not dating anyone. Which means…"

She pointed the Gavel at him and said, "Your community service is to be my boytoy!"

"I OBJECT!" A familiar voice cried out.

In walked Belldandy, dressed in her goddess robes… or ones that had a spade motif and even a tiny crown with spade-shaped jewels.

"If he says that we are dating, then who am I to object?" Queen of Spades Belldandy asked.

Peorth stomped in, dressed in her goddess uniform and looking outright furious at Urd. She yelled, "And I object as well! I am clearly a better candidate for Queen of Hearts than you, Urd! So give up the crown and my boytoy!"

As the three… Goddesses? huddled into a circle and began to argue, a tiny Cheshire Chibi-Hild appeared on Keiichi's shoulder.

"Huh. You didn't even do much and already a possible war in Wonderland is breaking out. What a wonderful Apple of Discord you are!" Cheshire Chibi-Hild cooed.

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Notes from HotelKatz - Blame the plot bunnies who refused to let this go in my brain.