✧･ﾟ: on the 6th day of Christmas :･ﾟ✧ :
"Reindeer Games"
"Sire Arrow, I appreciate how much faith you seem to have in my abilities." Vanez grunted after tripping over the fifth tree root in as many minutes. "But my senses can only do so much - OUCH! Son of a bitch!" Just when he thought he'd regained his footing he slipped on a patch of ice and went stumbling into a ravine.
"Ah, fuck. Sorry." Arrow groaned, pivoting on the spot and running back several steps to give Vanez a hand.
"If it makes you feel better, I can't see anything either. We're all in the same boat." General Kaden Hale called in what she undoubtedly intended to be a light-hearted encouraging tone. She was walking a few feet ahead of them, dragging a heavy wooden sledge with her. Vanez would've rolled his eyes if only he had at least one to spare.
The thing about Vampire Mountain is that there's no way to know what kind of weather events are occurring at any given time until you step outside and look around. As it turned out, the official Christmas tree acquisition coincided with what seemed to be the blizzard of the century. Why Arrow had invited him specifically was beyond Vanez. In theory, it was nice to be included. In reality, he was fucking cold.
"That's what I was afraid of. Solidarity doesn't count for much if it leads to all of us walking off a cliff together." Vanez snorted.
"We can turn back and try again tomorrow." Arrow offered. His voice was directly beside Vanez's ear now, and Vanez felt Arrow's bulky arm link through his own.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of a few snowflakes. I warned you to slap a hat over that big bald head so you don't catch a chill!" Hale chided Arrow from further away. Vanez didn't need eyes to see the way she glanced over her shoulder with a wicked grin on her rosy face. But he sure hoped Arrow took notice of it.
"I'm fine! I just don't want Vanez to get lost!" Arrow shot back. Vanez guffawed uproariously - but it was cut short as he tripped again. This time over a large rock.
"Sorry. I didn't see that one there." Arrow sighed as Vanez gasped and swore in pain.
"Neither did I!" Vanez snapped between cusses, swatting Arrow upside the head.
"I was looking for trees! The sooner we find the tree, the sooner we can get out of this blizzard." Said Arrow.
"You focus on keeping Vanez in one piece." Said Hale. "I'll find the tree."
They walked and walked. Vanez wanted to believe the other two knew where they were going, but it sure felt like they were moving in a roughly circular pattern.
"There's really not that many trees out here." Hale spoke up, voice grim.
"Mika told me there's a good cluster of spruce close to the southeast ravine." Said Arrow. "He used to get Christmas trees there for Gracie when she was little."
"Then why isn't Mika out here?"
"He's a perfectionist! We'd be out here all night finding a tree that suited his standards."
"At least we'd find a tree! Which is more than what we're doing right now." Said Hale. Vanez felt Arrow un-link from his arm as he bent down like he was picking something off the ground. There followed the soft thud of a snowball making contact with a body a few feet away. Hale laughed; a clear note of almost childlike delight. "Please. Is that all you've got? My grandmother could throw harder than that."
Vanez heard a crunchy sort of splat, much closer this time. Arrow had taken a direct hit to the face and started laughing like it was the funniest thing that'd ever happened to him.
Vanez was more focused on the sharp scent of sap, carried directly into his nose by a strong gust of wind. It seemed to originate from somewhere on the left. He angled his body in that direction - yes, there was no doubt about it. The spruce trees were close at hand.
He followed the scent. It took some careful maneuvering over some precarious icy patches, but he kept hiking til he was triumphantly gripping handfuls of spruce branches. The branches were thick and healthy, and the trunk was wide - but not too wide. Based on the width the tree would be about fifteen to twenty feet tall. Too big for most indoor spaces, but it would be perfect for the Hall of Khledon Lurt.
"Arrow! Hale!" He roared over the howling wind, grinning to nobody but himself. He was still close enough to hear them laughing and throwing snowballs. "When you're done flirting like school kids, feel free to come feast your eyes on the world's best Christmas tree!"
A pause, then Arrow's voice muttering: "Oh gods, where the fuck did he go?"
"You tell me, genius!" Vanez barked back. "You're the one with two working eyes!"
It only took them a minute to catch up with Vanez and confirm what he already knew - this was the tree to end all trees. Vanez didn't need to see to know that. He could feel it in every fibre of his being.
"Care to do the honours, Master Blane?" Arrow asked. Vanez could hear him eagerly unbuckling the leather straps and buckles that had secured the axe to his belt. It was impossible to know whether Arrow had (once again) simply forgotten that Vanez was blind, or if he just had that much faith in his abilities regardless. Either way it made Vanez smile like he hadn't in years. He grinned, squeezed Arrow's shoulder affectionately and replied,
"Of course not, you rock-brained moron. Worst idea you've ever had. I'm liable to miss my mark and decapitate both of you. But thanks anyway."
Vanez truly thinks the world of Arrow. He trained Arrow, after all. He's proud of the noble ruler his one-time protege has grown into. But sometimes Arrow just doesn't think things through. Vanez could practically hear him frown in dismay.
"I told you not to offer." Hale grunted. There was a muffled thud as if she'd elbowed Arrow in the ribs.
Arrow huffed in exasperation (but not without a resigned chuckle) "I thought it'd be nice!"
With a few swings of the axe (operated by Arrow) the tree fell with a satisfying thud loud enough to hear over the howling wind. Arrow heaved the tree onto the sledge and Vanez climbed aboard to keep it in place. At least he didn't have to walk back up the hill.
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
On and on they trudged. The terrain was rough; Vanez could feel every shake and rattle as the sledge bumped over the frozen ground. They were almost back at the mountain when he felt it stop.
"Alright, we're at the ravine." Hale called from up ahead. She didn't sound upbeat anymore. Her voice was strained and her teeth were chattering. This weather was rough even for vampires. "Which way is the west access tunnel? Left or right?"
"What do you mean?" Arrow hollered back. Vanez could hear him shivering too.
"What do you mean what do I mean? Don't you don't know how to get back?!"
"What makes you think I know?! I can't even see my own hands in front of my face!"
"You're Prince of the damn mountain!" Hale roared. Despite the wind, Vanez could clearly hear her slap her palm to her forehead in exasperation. "Shouldn't you know to find your way there?"
"Of course I know how to find my way there!" Arrow defended himself. "The mountain is right in front of us! I don't need to see it to know that."
"That's great. And completely useless if we don't know how to get inside."
"I know if we're approaching from the west, which I think we are, the west access tunnel should be directly below that funny little ledge thing that juts out from halfway up the mountain. That's how I always gauge it." Said Arrow.
"So we wait for the blizzard to stop so you can see your funny little ledge? At least we'll be warm when the sun starts to rise any minute now!" Hale snorted.
Up til now Vanez had been under the assumption they, like him, were following the unmistakable scent of the access tunnel's musty interior. But they'd been depending solely on their eyes to get them home. And just as they were prone to forgetting Vanez had one less functional sense than they did, Vanez had forgotten just how well his four remaining senses served him. He smiled to himself.
"Go right, idiots!" He bellowed from the back of the line.
"How do you know for sure?"
"You were going to trust me to swing an axe, yet you doubt I can find my way home? I know these woods like the back of my eyepatch. I can practically smell which guards are on duty in the access tunnel tonight-"
"Say no more. You had me at go right, idiots!" Arrow laughed. "Vanez, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonigh- OW!" He was cut off by the crunch of a snowball to the face. Another direct hit courtesy of Hale.
"Thanks, Hale. He had that coming." Said Vanez with mock-seriousness as they started walking again. "And thank the gods you didn't try to pursue a career in comedy, Sire Arrow. You'd have starved long ago."
"I will leave you out here in the snow, Master Blane."
"Then how would you find your way home?"
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
Sometimes Vanez can't believe he's still here. Had the clan not gone to war and needed all hands on deck, he would've walked out of the mountain to seek an honourable demise eight years ago. The end of the war felt to Vanez like a cue his borrowed time had finally expired.
Two months after Vancha and Darren led their troop away on the mission, Vanez booked a meeting with the other two Princes who'd stayed behind to oversee the mountain. Things had finally settled down. It was time to talk about it. Besides, there was no shortage of up-and-comers fit to run the sporting halls as well or better than he always had.
He'd never forget their reactions.
Mika got angry, because that's easier to express than what he actually felt: Shock. Anticipatory grief. Disgust that Vanez would even bring it up in the first place. Vanez didn't need to see his face. He could read it all in his voice.
"If the day ever comes where we don't need you anymore, rest assured you'll be the first to know. Until then, don't waste my time." Had been Mika's official reply. (It's on record and everything). Then he got up and stalked out of the room.
As unprecedented as Mika's reaction was, it was Arrow's that would stick with Vanez til he died.
Arrow had remained there in his throne, motionless and silent. Vanez was about to speak up, to goad him into a response. Then he heard Arrow crying. And that was so much worse than the silence.
"You think we think that little of you?" Arrow eventually managed to blubber. "They're just eyes!"
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
Vanez thinks about that all the time. He thought about it on the home stretch up to the Hall of Khledon Lurt. And he thought about it as he sat in front of one of the fireplaces along the wall, shivering and sipping a mug of warm blood. He was wrapped in a warm blanket draped over him by a sympathetic Seba.
A few feet from where Vanez was sitting, the decorating of the tree was officially underway. Vanez neither wanted nor cared to help. His work was done, as far as he was concerned. Why would he want to fumble around when he could sit and listen?
Based on the collection of familiar voices chattering away, Vanez knew there was something wrong with this picture (so to speak). He waited to see if anyone else caught it.
Of course, Seba doesn't miss anything.
"Sires, if you are both here overseeing the tree… who is on duty in the Hall of Princes?" He inquired, voice as dry as the log in the fireplace.
"You said we said we're taking Christmas off." Said Mika seriously. "I don't remember saying it, but I definitely remember you telling us about it the next day."
"It is not Christmas, Sire. It is December twenty-second."
"We're practicing." said Arrow.
"Ah."
They were joined by two new sets of footsteps. Unlike with his close colleagues, Vanez couldn't identify these ones. But he could tell they were guards by the sound of his boots.
"Here's the other ladder you requested, Quartermaster Crepsley. Tallest one in the mountain."
It was not Larten who replied, but Mika: "Perfect. Give me that."
"I did not know… he was so passionate… about Christmas decor." Harkat commented over the sound of someone (presumably Mika) dragging the ladder across the rough stone floor, followed by the muffled thump as he propped it against the tree.
"He is not passionate about decor." Larten muttered. "He is passionate about completing tasks with as little input from others as possible."
"I don't see you climbing up here with me, Quicksilver!" Mika's voice seemed to be coming from well above ground level now. "Pass me that box of tinsel."
Vanez hadn't seen Mika since he lost his final eye eight years ago - but he could hear in his voice how much had changed since then. With every passing night Mika sounded more and more like the energetic, determined young General prospect Vanez once trained.
"Tinsel… in Vampire Mountain?" Harkat queried.
"I pulled it out of storage. The mountain always got decorated for Christmas when Miss Grace was growing up." Seba explained. There was a fond smile in his voice as he added; "Paris would borrow my cloak and pretend to be Father Christmas, back when she was little enough to be hoodwinked"
"Yeah. The goal was to prepare her to eventually have a normal human life. But now she's a vampire; out there doing groundbreaking work with my colleagues. And somehow I'm still here decorating the Christmas tree." Said Mika with a derisive snort of laughter… that quickly morphed into a ear-splitting shout of raw terror. "SPIDER! THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE BOX!"
"How big is it? Does it have grey hair or brown?" Seba called sharply from below. "Do not hurt it!"
"Hit it with the jingle bells!" Was Arrow's advice.
"Toss me the box. I'll catch it and take the spider outside." Said Hale. In case you were wondering who was currently in possession of the brain cell. There was the sound of creaking wood and rustling evergreen needles from the top of the tree, followed by a loud thump and finally Hale yelling crossly: "Charna's guts! I said toss it, not launch the damn thing! …Wait, where's the spider?"
"OH GODS IT'S ON MY FUCKING NECK." That was Mika, obviously.
"Stay calm!" Seba barked. "Do not agitate it! It is probably not venomous, but -"
"IT'S CRAWLING DOWN THE BACK OF MY SHIRT!"
"Well, quit yelling at the poor thing! No wonder it is seeking shelter!"
More thrashing, more panicked yelling, then the unmistakable sound of the heavy wooden ladder crashing to the floor. Just the ladder, though. That could only mean Mika was still attached to the upper portion of the tree.
"Oh, fuck. Hang in there, Mika!" Said Arrow. Suspicions confirmed.
"That is a terrible idea!" Larten objected. "He will pull the whole tree over! Look, it is already tipping! I am not putting the thing up a second time."
"I'll get the ladder back up. You can climb down that way." Hale called up to Mika.
"The ladder is… broken." Said Harkat gravely.
"IT'S CHEWING ON MY SKIN!"
"Try to climb down from the tree! Slowly, if possible."
"Can you not just reach in and brush it off?"
"Oh gods… it's poisoned me. I can't… I can't feel my arms. Or my face. The room is spinning, I think I'm gonna-"
"It'll be fine! Take a deep breath!"
"I do not recommend that. Poison moves more quickly in a oxygenated bloodstream."
"Shut up, Larten. You're not helping."
"By the black blood of Harnon Oan…" Seba muttered under his breath. The crisp slap that followed could only be a facepalm. "Just jump down!"
"Don't worry, Mika! I'll catch you." Arrow bellowed. As if Mika was stranded in a burning building as opposed to plastered to the top of a tree.
Sure, Arrow is a big guy. He's a bigger guy than Mika. But it's important to remember that Mika is still a big guy. And the tree was just tall enough for him to reach terminal velocity as he dropped like a stone. And Arrow was not a big enough guy to make that catch without buckling.
Arrow was panting from pain and exertion but sounded pleased beyond belief nonetheless. "See, Mika? I told you I'd catch-"
"GET THE FUCKING SPIDER."
Vanez would never know how exactly Arrow finally apprehended the little creature, but he assumed he just reached into Mika's shirt to pluck it out. Seems like something they'd do.
"Got it!" Arrow proudly declared several moments later.
"Give me that." Seba huffed. "It is not even a venomous spider!"
"Then why is my body numb, Seba?!"
"Because you left the Hall of Princes unattended. Now if you will excuse me, I will take this poor thing down to the tunnels where he belongs."
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
"Sorry you had to listen to all that, Vanez. But at least you didn't have to see any of it." Mika remarked (much more casually) ten minutes later. He had not returned to the tree decorating committee after the incident, choosing instead to join Vanez by the fireplace. Mika was wrapped up in his thickest fur cloak. Vanez could tell by the soft swoosh of it dragging along the ground, just as easily as he could smell the strong drink in Mika's hand.
"Oh, but I could see it." Vanez snickered. "I saw everything. And I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift than front row tickets to the shit show. Thank you - for everything."