So arrives Christmas Eve. Mika and Arrow take a moment to reflect on where they are. It isn't necessarily where they want to be, but it's better than where they used to be.
Romantic shipping is grand but very few things in this world hug my heart like the simple love between these two co-dependent platonic soulmates.
: ･ﾟ: on the 10th day of Christmas :･ﾟ:
"So This Is Christmas (War Is Over)"
December 24th was Sarah's favourite day of the year.
"Why Christmas Eve? Why not Christmas itself?" Arrow asked her once.
"Because Christmas Eve feels more like Christmas than Christmas itself." Sarah told him, as if he was a fool for asking. "See, once Christmas arrives, the clock is ticking. It goes by so quickly. You blink, and suddenly it's the 26th. But on Christmas Eve… time slows down. It's the anticipation of Christmas being so close you can taste it, yet it feels as if it'll never arrive. I wish that feeling could last forever."
Arrow didn't get it. But he didn't need to.
"Every day is Christmas Eve as long as I have you, love." Said Arrow. He kissed her on the head. She stifled a giggle as she playfully swatted him away.
"Don't you dare make me laugh. The children are finally asleep!"
"And it's about time we did the same."
"I have a better idea."
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
Christmas Eve in Vampire Mountain arrived with a bang. All of the staff had been officially released from their duties til December 26th. Most were goofing off in the sporting halls, but some were rocking around the Christmas tree in the Hall of Khledon Lurt. The atmosphere had been pure joy when Arrow stopped in to grab a bite. He could've spent all night revelling alongside them and part of him wanted to. But instead he filled two plates of food and ambled back up to the Hall of Princes.
Mika was exactly where he'd been an hour ago when Arrow left him there - sitting comfortably at the meeting table, with a strong drink in one hand and a stack of documents in the other.
"Put it away. If the staff don't have to work on Christmas Eve, neither do you." Arrow told him seriously, setting both plates on the table as he took a seat across from Mika.
Mika shot him a wry grin as he looked up. Arrow automatically mirrored the smile - not that it ever took much. The only people who think Mika never smiles are those who've only interacted with him at a distance.
"I'm not working. I'm watching my favourite Christmas movie." Said Mika. As if that should've been obvious to an outside observer.
"Oh. So you're drunk drunk." Arrow snorted. "You know we have to wake up at six tomorrow and start cooking a feast for the entire mountain tomorrow, right?"
Mika rolled his eyes as if Arrow was taking too long to clue into whatever was going on here."It's a script for the movie Die Hard. I watched it at Gracie's place one year." He explained. "Of the dozen Christmas movies I endured, this was the only one that did it for me. She found the script on the internet and printed it for me so I'd still be able to 'watch' it in Vampire Mountain. I think she meant it as a joke… but I don't have anything else to do."
Arrow let out a great boom of laughter as he caught up to speed. "Of course. That makes complete sense. I don't know why I asked."
"I also have Die Hard 2. You can watch it if you want." Mika added, sliding a second stack of paper towards Arrow.
"Shouldn't I watch the first one first?"
"Nah. You'll be fine."
"Sounds like a plan, then." Said Arrow. "But first I have some business to take care of." He reached towards the stack of blank note paper left behind from a recent meeting, picked up a page and a pencil to go with it.
Mika eagle-eyed him with a furrowed brow like Arrow was engaging in something truly suspicious. "The fuck are you doing? You barely take notes while the meetings are in session."
Arrow's smile didn't falter, but he did pause before replying. Mika and Arrow had very few secrets from each other. And the past year spent side-by-side had brought them closer than ever before. Which shouldn't have been scientifically possible.
Arrow had never told anyone about the silent Christmas tradition he'd observed for over a century now. He'd never felt the need to. But suddenly, for the first time in his life, he wanted to.
"I'm writing my Christmas letter." Said Arrow.
"Pardon?"
"Every year I sit down and write a letter to Sarah." Arrow explained. "I tell her everything that's happened since my last letter. Sometimes there's a lot to talk about. If it's been an uneventful year I just reminisce on our life together. But I like to keep her updated. That way we won't have to waste time catching up when we reunite in paradise. And once I'm finished writing, I fold it up and burn it. I choose to believe that'll get it to her… somehow. It helps."
Arrow's been writing these letters long enough that he managed to explain it all without getting emotional. But it occurred to him that maybe it was a lot to take in for someone hearing it for the first time. Mika was now gawking back at him with an endearing mixture of awe, empathy, and horror.
"A, I'm telling you this in the kindest way I possibly can." Said Mika bluntly at last. "If you don't stop talking about this right now I'm going to cry til I throw up."
Arrow laughed, because he knew Mika well enough to know that statement translated to "That's a beautiful way to keep her memory alive and I'm honoured you chose to share it with me."
"Christmas Eve was her favourite day of the entire year." Arrow added. "She always said it's when Christmas feels the most magical. Even more so than Christmas Day. Which I never understood, but-"
"Makes sense to me." Mika interrupted, shrugging. "The anticipation is usually better than the thing itself. I always knew Sarah was smarter than you."
"I don't think anyone was in denial about that." Said Arrow. He chuckled as he pictured Sarah's bright eyes and wickedly clever smile. "Anyway, I'm going to get started on my letter."
"Want me to leave?"
"Of course not." Arrow took a bite from his fork in one hand, then picked up the pencil in the other. Then he paused and looked back up at Mika. "You should write one too. I can think of someone who'd love to hear from you." He glanced meaningfully towards the second throne from the right.
He was fully expecting Mika to dismiss the idea. But to Arrow's surprise, his suggestion was met with a cautious nod.
Arrow smiled and pushed a blank page and a spare pencil in Mika's direction, then blocked the rest of the world out as he shifted his focus to the task in front of him. As always it took a minute or two to get started. But once his pencil touched the paper, the words flowed in a way that never came naturally to him in any situation besides this.
He stopped keeping track of time. It didn't matter whether he'd been at it for minutes or hours. He was halfway through his letter when he noticed Mika abruptly set the pencil down with an air of triumph, like he'd completed a timed event. Arrow kept his eyes on his own paper, but out of the corner he could see Mika glance over at him. Like he was trying to gauge how much longer Arrow was going to take. After a moment Mika picked up his pencil again and reached for a fresh page. Perhaps the first one had been a rough draft, and only now was he ready to launch into the polished copy. Typical Mika. He got back to work, and Arrow carried on.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
My darling, my angel, my Sarah:
First of all, Merry Christmas Eve. It's your favourite night of the year. And mine, because I swear I can feel you here with me.
Another year has come and gone. This is the first time in eight years I've been able to sit down and write your letter on Christmas Eve itself. It was hard to keep track of the month during wartime, much less the date itself. But come hell or high water (sometimes both) I still never missed a year.
And the war is over now.
We won. Both sides won. We're moving forward with a brand-new peace treaty — which will eventually reunite the two clans once and for all. It was hard to accept at first. As a Prince I've put my full support behind the movement because it's the right thing to do. As of this Christmas we've been at peace with the vampaneze for almost a year. Still can't believe it's real. My heart is still broken over you and it fought me every step of the way. I used to think letting go of my grudge would be letting go of you. But now I know you'd be so much prouder of who I am now than who I used to be. I'm even proud of myself.
Mika's been doing good. I hardly ever worry about him these days. I still keep an eye on him though - just in case. And he does the same for me. Vancha and Darren are on a five-year mission to meet with vampires and vampaneze all over the world to tell them what's going on. Kurda Smahlt is with them. If he redeemed himself in my eyes, the rest of the clan will be no problem.
Gracie is 26 now. She's as fierce and clever as always. But one thing has changed about her - she's a half-vampire now. She was proud to choose the clan, but it was more bitter than sweet for all of us. She lost someone the same way I lost you. But I told her what I needed to hear back then, even though I wouldn't have listened to it at the time. I told her not to let that anger and hurt define her. To not let hatred win. And thank the gods she's wiser than I ever was. She reminds me of our Arika. If you're able to see us from where you are, you'll know what I mean.
Remember when you told me you hoped I'd find love again someday after you were gone? It was the only time I ever felt angry around you. Just the thought of it made me sick. But darling, I fear you were right… as always. Her name is Kaden Hale. A Vampire General, and a noble warrior with a heart of gold. Problem is I'm not ready yet. But I get the feeling she knows that. And I think she'll still be there when I'm ready. I'm even starting to think you're rooting for her.
I miss you as much now as the day I lost you. Many things change, but not that. Never that. I can't wait to see you. But I promise I'll take my time.
Til we meet again, my angel. I love you always.
- Arrow.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
By the time Arrow finished, as always, the page was dotted with tears. But not the kind that burned his eyes like acid on their way out. Sarah's memory was as alive as ever because of the messily scribbled words on that paper, and the moment he put his pencil down felt like a triumph.
Mika had finished his second copy about three minutes before Arrow finished his first and only.
"Leave it to you to write a rough draft and a good copy of something you're just going to set on fire." Arrow chuckled.
"I didn't write two of the same letter. One's for Arra." Said Mika.
"Ah. Well, it figures you could write two completely separate letters in the time it took me to finish one." Said Arrow.
Mika didn't take the opportunity to clap back with a snappy retort. The expression on his face was a far cry from sarcasm. A little pensive, a little sad, but more than anything he seemed relieved. Arrow knew that feeling well.
"You were right." Said Mika, shooting Arrow a meaningful glance over the table and confirming what Arrow had already been thinking. "That helped."
"I know it does. That's why I suggested it."
"Thanks, A. You never miss." Mika heaved a long sigh but managed to smile. He balled his right hand into a fist and held it out. Arrow automatically bumped it with his own.
Then on impulse, Arrow reached for his finished letter to Sarah and slid it towards Mika.
"Do you want to read it?"
Mika's jaw dropped again. "Pardon?"
"Do you want to read my letter?" Arrow repeated.
"No way. That's too personal." Said Mika, shaking his head firmly.
"Don't worry. I didn't write anything inappropriate."
"That's not what I was worried about! Whatever you wrote in that letter is none of my business. It's between you and Sarah."
"Trust me."
Mika looked skeptical as all fuck, but he picked up the page as carefully as if it was made of glass, and began to read.
When he rolled his eyes and looked up at Arrow with pure exasperation, Arrow knew exactly what part he'd reached.
"Glad to know you've been gossiping to your wife about me."
"Only because we care." Arrow replied earnestly.
Mika kept reading. Arrow watched every shift of his facial expression (the subtle and the not-so-subtle as he took each line in. Mika once again looked up, this time with awe and wistfulness. And again, Arrow knew exactly where he was.
"You talk to her about Gracie?"
"Of course. That first year she lived in the mountain made for one of the longest letters I've ever sent. You know Sarah loved babies."
Mika smiled, nodded with fond reminiscence and continued to read.
When he got to the end he let out a loud sigh of exasperation accompanied by a badly disguised attempt to wipe his eyes in a way that didn't look like he was wiping his eyes.
"Fuck you. Now I'm sad on Christmas." Mika deadpanned as he slid the letter back to Arrow as though it had offended him in some way.
Again like clockwork Arrow's brain automatically translated Mika's crass sarcasm into the mislabelled show of support it actually was.
"Don't be sad." Arrow replied softly. "I'm not."
Mika raised an eyebrow, like he wasn't entirely convinced. "No?"
"Of course not. It's been a good year after a lot of bad years in a row. We're safe. The clan is gonna be okay. It's Christmas. And I'm here with you." Said Arrow.
"Earlier I was going to say you're an idiot for spending your night in here with me while Hale's down in the Hall of Khledon Lurt crushing mugs of ale wearing that green shirt you like." Mika countered after a pause. "But now that I've read your letter I guess I shouldn't go there."
"Maybe next year." Said Arrow. And even though he wasn't ready to think about it any more than that, that mental image of Hale in her forest green flannel made his cheeks tingle pleasantly.
"Anyway, you showed me yours. So here's mine." Said Mika as he held his pair of letters out to Arrow. He sounded far too casual and Arrow could tell Mika genuinely hadn't planned to share whatever he'd written, but felt obligated now.
Arrow shook his head earnestly. "It's okay. You don't have to let me read yours just because I-"
"Just read the damn things so I can get back to my movie."
"You're the boss."
Arrow unfolded the first letter and dove right in.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
Arra -
I fucking miss you. Time doesn't heal anything.
Sorry to open with that. Just wanted you to know. Anyway, I'm not going to waste page space updating you on everything you've missed since you left. I saw you last year when I died for a few minutes so I'm choosing to believe you've been here all along, two steps ahead of me. As always.
I'm also not going to tell you how many times I've broken down since then. You'd think I'd have gotten all that out of my system by now, especially considering the war is over. But that's where I'm running into issues... I finally have time to think about the future. It's brighter than I could've imagined. But you won't be there for it. That's what gets me. I know you'd smack me in the head and tell me to quit being a little bitch. But you'd stay. And that'd make me feel better. You understood me better than anyone else, even Arrow and Kurda. I'm sure you knew that. I hope you did.
What I am going to tell you is that we're re-naming the Hall of Baker Wrent after you: the Hall of Arra Sails. You're the first to know. It came to me a few weeks ago and I haven't told anyone yet. I'll discuss it with the other Princes at some point but I know they'll agree. And I'd go through with it even if they didn't. Should've happened ages ago considering you smashed Wrent's old bar record at least three times. We'll announce it at next council. Going to get a new sign for the entryway and everything. Merry Christmas.
I wasn't going to mention Larten. That's none of my business. I figured if he had anything to say he could write his own letter. Then I remembered he can't write. So I'm going to tell you he's doing great. You'd be proud of him. Even I'm proud of him. I can't believe I just wrote that. Thank the fucking gods I'm about to burn this thing.
Miss you. Love you. See you when I see you.
- M.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
Arrow kept his eyes on the page for a few moments after he'd finished. He needed time to blink his tears away - that wouldn't be fair to Mika. Mika had a hard enough time opening up without bringing the godsforsaken mutual waterworks into it. Arrow was quite literally his closest confidant and sometimes it still took a bit of work to pick through those layers.
So when Arrow finally looked up, the only appropriate feedback to deliver was:
"I love the idea of renaming that Hall. Tell them to start carving the name plate. Don't even bother waiting for Vancha and Darren to weigh in."
"Perfect. One less thing on my to-do list." Mika replied briskly.
Arrow grinned and moved on to the next page.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
Paris,
You know better than anyone how bad I am at self-reflection or whatever this is. I've always rationalized that by claiming I'd rather channel my energy into planning for the future than analyzing the past. You already knew that. But the truth is self-reflection makes me want to rip my skin off. Because gods fucking forbid I ever have to look critically into my past and acknowledge where mistakes were made. And I have no doubt you knew that too.
It's been almost a year since the war ended. Almost a year of collective reflection on ourselves - Vancha, Arrow, and I - and the decisions we've made over the years. And the Princes who preceded us. (Just because you're dead doesn't mean you're off the hook). That's a lot of damage control. A lot of mistakes to make up for. But we're trying. And it's working.
Kurda saved us. We didn't deserve it, but whatever good things happen next will be directly because of him. And that's the truth. I don't know if Kurda and I will ever be what we were before. All that matters now is that he knows I stand behind him like I should've in the first place, and that I believe in him with my entire fucking heart and soul.
Sorry. I know you hate when I swear. I still can't believe you let me have this job in the first place. What were you thinking? But with all that said… I'm proud of myself. And it took everything in me to write those words so I hope you know I mean it. It's been a long road.
I spend more time in your throne than mine these days. Easier to talk to Arrow that way since it's just the two of us here. There was a time when I couldn't even handle seeing someone else sitting there. I used to get so angry over it. Don't worry - I kept my mouth shut because I know that's not rational or fair considering there's four thrones and five of us. But to me it's still yours. I'm just borrowing it. And hoping it'll get me a little closer to being half the Prince you were. That's where the bar is set. And you're not here to argue it.
Til we meet again,
Mika Ver Leth.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
That one was harder to get through. Arrow wasn't quite able to hide his tears, but he didn't stop to think about it.
"Give me that." He snuffled, gesturing vaguely at his pencil that had rolled across the table. Mika wordlessly handed it over and Arrow scrawled a footnote at the bottom:
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
What he said.
- A.
･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: :･ﾟ:･ﾟ
Mika nodded his approval as he looked it over, visibly going out of his damn way to keep his face somewhat neutral. He kept it together a little better than Arrow, but his voice hitched in his throat when he caught Arrow's eye and forced out:
"You know the one thing these have in common, right?"
"What?"
"We both went on record stating we're proud of ourselves. I don't know about you, but that's a first for me."
For a moment Arrow could do nothing but gawk back at him, gobsmacked by the truth of the matter.
"We don't have to burn them." He offered at last.
"Yes we do." Mika grunted. He yanked his letters back and stood up. Arrow picked up a candle from the table and they wordlessly made their way across the throne platform and down the stairs. Once they were a safe distance from anything flammable, they sat down on the smooth stone floor with the candle-holder between them.
"What now?" Mika asked. "Do you say a few words?"
"No. The words are in the letters." Arrow explained patiently. "But you can say something if you want."
"Pass."
"Alright, then."
And with that, Arrow held his letter to the candle til it caught. The tiny flames took hold in the bottom right corner and climbed slowly up the page, leaving powdery ash in their wake until Arrow had no choice but to finally let go.
Another year gone. One less year til he'd see Sarah again. He used to feel better when he thought about it that way. Not so much these nights. He would see her again, that much was certain. But now he relished the thought of taking his time.
Arrow watched as Mika carefully fed his letters to the flame. He knew the blazing light in Mika's eyes was the reflection of the flickering orange fire, but he couldn't help but think there was some far more powerful force coming back to life inside him as they symbolically drew this era to a close.
Neither spoke as they returned to the platform. Mika bypassed both his throne and the table he'd been sitting at earlier, instead heading for the back corner of the meeting room. He pulled an armful of blankets and pillows out of the spare coffin they kept there and proceeded to arrange them on the floor near the wall. Then he grabbed both movie scripts off the table and sat down in the cozy nest he made. Arrow didn't wait for an invitation. He didn't need one. He was on the floor beside Mika in less than one second - pausing only to grab what remained of the snack plates he'd picked up earlier.
"I was only a quarter through the first one." Mika remarked as he flipped the printed Die Hard script back to the first page. "I guess we can start over. But you'd better read fast because I'm not waiting for you."
"I love you, Mika." Said Arrow abruptly. He knows Mika already knows that. But it occurred to him he couldn't remember the last time he said it out loud. And he didn't care if Mika said it back.
The thing about Mika Ver Leth is that he's absolutely fucking ruthless. He has a razor-sharp retort for everything, even unsolicited expressions of tenderness. Especially unsolicited expressions of tenderness.
But when it really counts, he doesn't skip a beat. He doesn't even hesitate.
"Love you more, A. Merry Christmas."