Whatever It Takes (To Get Me Out Of Here)

By: Riley

Summary – No one knew much about Mr. Perino's life other than being a teacher at Degrassi. That was just how he and his daughter, Eve, wanted it. But then he gives her the horrifically bad news that she's going to Degrassi because of redistricting, and she has to experience, first hand, all the teenage antics he tries to ignore. Eve hates Degrassi. So she's going to get expelled.

Evangeline 'Eve' Perino should've known something was going on the way her father looked at her when he entered her room after school that day. There she was, minding her own business, reading her magazine, when he had the audacity to ruin her day.

He came into her room, head tipped to the side and he looked at her from beneath his lashes, in that 'I-have-some-bad-news-for-you' way that she'd only seen a few times before; when he wasn't able to get her the coveted Christmas gift that one year—she still wanted it-, when he told her she couldn't go to the popular girl's birthday party because he had to chaperone a school trip and she had to go with—she still hadn't forgiven him for that, and…when he told her he was suspended pending an investigation for his treatment of two class clown students. (And not particularly in that order).

Besides, who's business was it that her mom decided to cheat on him and run off with her affair partner, leaving them behind. It was a bad blow up, especially since Eve was the one who found out and had to tell her dad because her mom was too much of a wimp to tell him the truth.

Who wouldn't be in a crabby mood from that? And to have to deal with class clowns on top of it? You'd have to be a saint to deal. And her dad was no saint.

Eve was sure that was the day her dad was going to set fire to Degrassi and was sorely disappointed when he didn't. If one of the students didn't do it first. She was still waiting for that story to pop up. Wasn't there some sort of boiler room explosion years ago? Lightning didn't strike twice, did it?

Nevertheless, Eve tried to keep a glimmer of hope alive when he perched himself on the edge of her desk, resting his palms against the side. Nervously drummed his fingertips on the wood underside. Silence stretched between them.

Eve's smile slowly faded.

"No," she moaned. "Please, no."

"Sorry, kiddo," Dom said with a shrug. "Seems like you're going to Degrassi." Eve moaned again. "I know you're happy at Bardell but I can't do much about districting laws." Eve moaned a third time, making Dom roll his eyes at her theatrics. "Don't be such a teenager, Eve. You know I hate that."

"Dad, even you think there's something weird going on there. No matter how hard you try to stay out of things, things happen," Eve pointed out. She continued to flip through her magazine, not looking at the pages. Using each sharp fwip of the page to mark her aggression. "Something in the water…some sort of brainwashing cult amongst the board of trustees…I think the entire city would collapse if there was a day that Degrassi didn't somehow end up in the news."

"I think you're exaggerating."

"CBC picked up Degrassi because of the school shooting, you think they weren't going to pay attention to everything that happens there after that? Good or bad?"

Dom rolled his neck, audible pops and cracks breaking through the silence that stretched after her sentence. She could see the resignation set in on his face. "Look…you just have to go until you graduate and then you're off to university and I can finally leave because I don't know if you realize it, but student loans are a thing. They're wiped out when I work there long enough."

"Why do you think I'm working so hard to get good grades?"

"Because you're the only teenager I know how has no life."

"So I don't make the same mistake you did by taking out loans," Eve replied, completely ignoring his completely rude—and not entirely untrue-accusation. She tossed her magazine aside. "And I do so have a life! I can't help it's not as crazy as the students at that hell hole you're trying to take me to." Dom's lips twitched up into a half smile. "Dad—"

"—Eve, that's enough," Dom said with a finality that even she wasn't going to go toe to toe with. "First thing in the morning, you're going to Degrassi. That's it." He left the room, arms folded, shaking his head. "It's out of my hands."

He could shake his head all he wanted, she knew how to shake her head, too. The conversation wasn't going to end there.

Not if she had anything to say about it.

Eve flopped onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. The biggest of big pouts on her face. Then, her pout slowly turned, twisted, morphed into the most devilish smile she could muster.

You're Dom Perino's daughter, she reminded herself. He was one of the toughest teachers anyone had ever been taught by. Something he practically bragged about when he got the chance. Something in his demeanor had to have rubbed off on her.

If he was the toughest teacher Degrassi ever had, she was going to be the toughest student Degrassi ever had.

She was going to get expelled.

A/N: So this is an idea I've had floating around for years. And I mean years. I joked with my sisters forever ago "what would happen if there was a character at Degrassi…who really didn't want to be at Degrassi?" and then we joked around saying how they would be horrified at everything happening there and consistently question how the school hadn't blown up yet.

So, that's the origin of the idea of this story (and the re-watch my sisters and I have been doing of the whole show now as an adult and giving our adult commentary rather than when we were watching as teens) along with the completely wanted and justified peer pressure from my friends on tumblr. This story is more of a parody than anything else, so some plot points may be highly exaggerated, but others taken very seriously along with meta commentary to be made. Lol. I have zero idea if there will be any ships for Eve or even what class she's currently in (still deciding on that) so...don't expect regular updates.

But hey, let me know what you guys think of it's start.