Chapter 2
Tomorrow came, and as the sameness of the day lined up, bullying, boredom, torment, and flavorless school lunches, and a lot of ignorance from the other students, and the teachers who usually smacked Ana, or threw something heavy at her, when she got a wrong answer, as well. While it was a calm, uneventful day, by the middle of the day, it was aptly depressing.
Yet, Ana waited with hope for the late end to the school day when Fred would appear. There he was, beckoning from the shadows of the alleyway, only coming out when Ana refused to go in because of rats. "There she is, my darling". "I've missed you so much, it hurts". "My pen## hurts, I've missed you so much". "well…I guess love can cause us so much pain at the same time". Fred said, gently as he chuckled. "I guess….". Ana said, a bit unnerved by the strange comment. "Well, I am happy to see you, Ana". "you are so wonderful, and amazing in every way". "I've been longing to see you". Fred said, gently with dreaminess. "Thank you". Ana said.
"How was your day, today, darling?". Fred asked, gently with kindness. "O-k". Ana said, with some melancholy behind her voice. "You sound a bit sullen this afternoon, love". "Are you sure everything went well?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "Ev-ery-thing is bor-ring". Ana said, sullenly. "Everything is quite uneventful these days with me as well". "But being in school can very much be something strange, and unwitting". Fred said, gently. "I promise you everything will be just fine, however, if you have patience". Fred smiled a gentle smile. Fred glanced around, stroking Ana's cheek, gently. "Try to focus on the positives, darling". "We have one another, and our friendship will continue to supersede all else". Fred said, kindly. "I will always be beside you, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse, til death do us part". He whispered this last statement. "Ok". Ana said.
"Please don't be sad, I will comfort you, for all time being". Fred said, in a gentle whisper. "Thank you". Ana said, as she felt the gentle comfort behind Fred's, bony, wrinkled, duputen's contracture-elemented thumbs. She took a deep breath, awaiting more comfort on a rainy day. "I'm always with you". Fred whispered, as he kissed Ana's forehead, kindly. "Thank you". Ana said. "In other events, this evening, I will be attending mass again for the first time". Fred said, gently. "Wow!". "so…I get see you?". Ana asked, in broken speech. "You will get to see me, all over again". "And I will love you, unconditionally, just as it was in the beginning". Fred said, gently, in his eerie soft tone. "Ok". Ana said, with some glee, and excitement behind her voice. The bus did pull up, and Ana got on, awaiting mass in all of its glory, when she saw Fred.
Mass that evening was lonely, and somewhat desolate in its cadence, with the attendees. Ana knew it just as well as anyone when she came in with her parents. Fred was in his spot, praying, as he glanced down at his bible book. He smiled, when he saw Ana. "hello, darling". He said, gently as he greeted Ana. "hi". Ana said, as she felt happy to see him.
"Fred Windsor?". "Muriel Windsor's nephew?". "It certainly is a pleasure to see you, sir". Wendell greeted Fred, politely, shaking his hand. "Well, it is a pleasure to see you, in addition". Fred said, politely, as he shook Wendell's hand. "How long has it been Mr. Lavelle?". "9 years, perchance". Fred said, kindly. "9 years, today, I believe". Wendell replied. They both chuckled.
"Well, it is good to see you". Fred said, as he glanced over at Melinda. "Hi, Fred". "How are things?". Melinda asked, politely, in her own gentle way. "Things happen to be going swimmingly". "I'm in retirement as of now, I'm handling my estate, I'm going through affidavits, to have the house repurposed, so it won't be too bad". "Things are going well". Fred said, as he hugged Melinda. "The house has been on the renovation list for a while now, so things haven't been too horrible". "I haven't had a copious amount of trouble".
"We haven't either, fortunately". Melinda said, as she glanced around. "We're thinking of updating our porch, but we never truly got around to it". "Perhaps one of these days".
"There are an abundance of good servicemen out there now who will do it for a fair price". "They only charge a few dollars for repurposing, and restoration". "There's not a lot to do". Fred said. "It is a hefty amount, but it doesn't hurt us in the traditional sense". "We can do almost anything…well…this one, at least". Melinda said, as she put a hand on Wendell's chest. "True". Wendell said. The three of them laughed.
"You both seem so much like my Barbara and I". "so happy". Fred said, gently with softness. "That's right, we remember Barbara". "She was nice in her own way…wasn;t she?". "Hmm, she was a true force of nature". Wendell said. "She certainly was". Fred said, gently, sighing a deep sigh.
The mass began as everyone read from the hymnals during the procession. Ana stood beside Fred, as Fred eventually put an arm around Ana, while they both giggled. "He is still so wonderful with her". "He knows her so well". Melinda said, gently, as she blushed. "He does seem to remember her well". "She seems admiring of him". "They do well, together". Wendell observed, as Fred guided Ana along with her hymnal.
"Perchance we should invite him to supper this evening". Melinda said, gently, as she glanced out, seeing Fred and Ana. "that sounds like a fine plan". Wendell said, as he glanced outwards, seeing the happiness in Ana as she stayed with Fred. Paying attention to their hymnals, they sang, read along with the passages, and listened to the priest give his sermon. When the mass had ended, Melinda glanced up at Fred. "She still really responds to you, well". Melinda said, politely. "She does, perhaps because she and I have had a special bond since the beginning". "I love spending time with her". Fred said, as the adults briefly glanced at Ana, while she played by the stained glass windows, talking to herself, eyes gazing to the ceiling, in an Autistic fashion.
"She is so beautiful, and intelligent, she's so creative, and kind". Fred said, with dreaminess behind his voice. "She is lovable in many ways".
Melinda nodded. "You are her biggest advocate, and supporter". Melinda said, in a whisper. "She needs someone….because right now, she doesn't have anyone, not even her teachers". "She needs you of all people". Melinda's whispers were solemn, and somber. "I understand". Fred whispered. "Our bond will be just what we need to rekindle". Fred smiled an unnerving smile, as he glanced over at Ana. Ana came over, seeing the adults. "Hi, honey, were you playing?". Melinda asked, gently with softness. "Yes". Ana said.
Melinda sighed a bit, as she played with Ana's hair, gently. "I love you". Melinda said, as she kissed Ana's cheeks. Ana smiled and giggled, as she glanced up at Melinda. "Darling, are you comfortable?". Fred asked, gently. "I am". Ana said, as she giggled. "You look beautiful". Fred said, kindly. Fred and Ana giggled as Ana gazed up at the ceiling.
"What's up there?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "No-thing". Ana said. "Nothing concurrent". Fred said, kindly. "Well, church is over, let's go home now, and I'll see you tomorrow".
"Well, perchance we could do something else". Melinda said, kindly. Fred turned his glance to Melinda in this moment.
"Something else, dear?". Fred asked, politely. "Well, we decided to invite you to dinner". "That would be nice if we could sit, talk for a while, and have some tea". Melinda said, politely. "Would you like to?".
Fred smiled an unnerving smile. "I would love that". Fred said, in an eerie, polite tone. "That would be very wonderful".
"True". Wendell said. "Perhaps we should do it". "Very well then". "Follow us to our house, and we'll have dinner cooked by 6pm". "Perchance".
"Wonderful". Fred said, as he glanced over at Wendell. "See you there".
The mass ended, as everyone filed out of the church. The rain pattered over the church, as the sky seemed a sullen, ashen gray. At the house, which sat on top of the hill, the cars were parked, as inside, there was chicken being cooked, as well as mashed potatoes.
Fred came inside, looking at the meal. "Well, this looks lovely, indeed". "I do enjoy mashed potatoes every now and again". Fred said, gently. "Yes, they are lovely". Melinda said, as she glanced over at the potatoes. "It is Ana's favorite food to eat". "It's something she likes very much".
Fred nodded. "Has she always liked potatoes?". Fred asked, politely. "She always has…it's a texture she likes most". Melinda said. "Sometimes, chicken has a texture she doesn't like, but she tolerates it".
"Mmm". Fred nodded. "She is someone who very much liked certain textures and tastes". "She was only able to tolerate so much". Fred said, gently. "Is she with us?". "Will she be joining us?". Fred asked, glancing around.
"She was tired this evening, so she went to bed". Wendell said. "Perhaps it'll just be us, this evening".
"Hmm". Fred nodded. "Well, she is so lovely, I knew at this age, she would be a bit tired". "Have her sleeping habits changed?". Fred asked, gently. "They have, and she was getting to a point where she was becoming moody, irritable, and very tearful every so often". Melinda said. "She has been frustrated when it comes to homework, or studying". "She has been struggling very much to learn, comprehend, and think logically". "Put the pieces of a puzzle together". "She cannot reason, think logically, or think abstractly". "She has a very handicapped mind, the last time we had her intelligence quotient tested, she tested at 78, or 79". "Which is very low". Melinda sounded sullen as she said this.
"She is having a hard time using common sense, reading aloud, and counting". "She is at the level of a toddler in terms of learning and comprehending". "I've tried to work with her, alongside her, but it always takes us hours to do even the simplest assignment for her PAES class, and Learning support classes". Wendell said. "She's functioning at the level of a young 5 year old".
"Hmm". Fred nodded, as he sipped his glass of wine. "Is she having trouble writing her name still, or writing with her signature?". "I know that's been an issue she's had of late?". "Is she still in occupational therapy?". Fred asked. "She has had trouble writing her name…and she seems to be having more trouble paying attention in class". "She is being bullied quite often, and while people do know who she is, she's being ignored, and ostracized, heavily". "This is a really hard year for her". Melinda said, sniffling. "Hmm". Fred nodded, gently. He noticed Melinda tearing up as she continued talking.
"Is everything alright, dear?". Fred asked, gently as he sipped his rose. "No….it's quite alright….I suppose". Melinda said. "It's just that…I've had to see Ana suffer continuously, because of what happened in infancy…..and she's just struggling….because…she has this learning disability…..this severe intellectual handicap, and she isn't….she isn't benefiting from anything". "She will never live on her own, or have a job, we can't tie her to a bed in the hospital, because that would be inhumane, and she might contract jaundice". "She will have to go to a hospital and live, however…or an assisted living area". Melinda sniffled as she said this.
"Her executive functioning, and intelligence quotient aren't high enough". Fred said, gently. "Mmm, I understand". "She's been handicapped all of her life, it seems". "It seems when she does have hope, the world takes it from her….I understand how difficult that is for you, as her parents". "Perhaps to love a child with that severe of a handicap….it takes away from you, as a person, and as a being". "Do you find it hard to love her because she takes so much of you, away?". Fred's stare, and creepy essence became apparent as Melinda sniffled. "Well, I elected to put my time, and my faith into her…because I've always wanted a child….ever since Wendell first became married". "I wanted to start a family".
"I couldn't have children on my own, so I decided to adopt….and when we decided to adopt internationally, there was some television footage sent to us in 12 millimeter film of children in a Russian Orphanage, orphanage 12, and when we glanced…we saw a sickly child with bones protruding from her skin, who looked to be the tiniest of the bunch". "She was bedbound, with no one looking at her, or paying any attention to her". "She was the smallest baby, about 9 pounds, 3 ounces, (that doesn't make sense), and she was just there…in her crib, fixated on the ceiling as if the caregivers had poisoned her". "She looked to have bruises, and some bedsores, so we chose her, Anastasia, because we knew she was the one who had suffered the most". "My love for her is unconditional, but I did choose to help her, perhaps because I did feel bad for her, even from my first sighting of her, and decided to help". "Maybe because I knew I had to…even if I didn't want to". Melinda explained. She slimily muttered the last part for Fred's convenience.
"And…from my knowledge, her birth mother passed on, and she had no other family?". Fred asked, in a soft whisper. "Yes, her birth mother did pass on, she died peacefully of cancer in her brain". Melinda whispered. "Ana was taken to the orphanage, and put up for adoption in the summer of 52, right after she was born". "She was isolated, beaten, neglected, underfed, and underloved in the orphanage which led to her intellectual handicap". "She was just suffering so much there, and because of how tormented she was, she had a hard time learning, and processing as she grew". "I just feel horrible for her". "And I know even now, whatever I try to do to better her quality of life won't help her". "She has suffered enough that it has damaged her". "She will never have the future she was meant to have, or the past, or present she was meant to have…because of that orphanage". "I'm glad we're helping her now…but…there's so little we can do to make her normal". "She is who she is, and she'll have to suffer until she grows old, and goes on". Melinda felt tears come to her eyes, as she began crying. "She is such a special girl….I don't want her to suffer".
"I understand". Fred said, gently. "Perhaps now that I've returned to you, I can help her with anything she needs". "She is a special, beautiful girl". "She won't be suffering, because she has those who love her most". "When a child is loved, it makes all of the difference". Fred sipped his wine. "Children are so fragile to the world in many ways, always". "It's best to nurture them while we still have the strength". Fred said, kindly. "It is….you are right". Melinda said. "It will be alright".
"It certainly will". Fred said, gently as he finished his meal. "Perhaps Ana can spend the evening at my newly renovated house this weekend". "I would love to show her the house, and have her see my new bedroom". "And have some tea". Fred said, kindly.
"That would be fine with us". Melinda said, as she glanced up at Fred. "I'd appreciate it, actually".
"That sounds like a nice plan". Wendell said, as he agreed. "Mmm, lovely". Fred said, as he felt a creepy, freaky smile come across his face. The adults were in agreement, as they talked, and conversed the majority of the evening. Melinda was going to tell Ana about spending the night with Fred, in due time, mind her.
Ana's bag was packed as she sat in the backseat of the family's car. "I sweep at Fred's to-night". Ana said, unable to pronounce her L's. "yes, you'll be spending the evening with Fred". "Are you excited?". Melinda asked, gently. "I-am". Ana said, as she flapped her hands, excitedly. The parents pulled into Fred's, only talking with Fred, who often spaced out in between the short conversation to look at Ana's nightgown. "Wonderful". "Thank you so much for delivering her". "We will have a nice time". Fred said, politely, in his eerie tone, as he waved goodbye. "Have a lovely evening, my friends". Fred stood, staring at the couple, as they made their way out.
Fred closed the door, as Ana remained at the window, looking outside, to see her parents leave. Even after she hugged them goodbye, she glanced out of the window. "How are you, darling?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "Is everything going swimmingly?". Fred smiled a gentle smile, standing behind Ana. "it is good". Ana said. "Wonderful, my darling". Fred said, gently, with kindness. "I've put on some tea and I have some watercress sandwiches". Fred straightened his tie a bit. "Would you like some of those?". Fred asked, kindly.
"O-k". Ana said, as she walked with Fred to the porch. "I've put some sugar in your tea, as I know you love your sugar, darling". "Sugar keeps our minds sharp, and alert". Fred said, kindly. "...yes". Ana said. Fred smiled a kind smile, kissing Ana's cheek, kindly. "It's been a while since I've had sugar, however". "I usually put some in my tea every now and again". Fred said, gently. "But it is a complex relationship I have with the additive". "I hope it's not too much for my dietary allotment". "Hmm, in some ways".
Ana nodded. Fred sipped his tea, as he sat on the porch. He lit a cigarette as well. "Well, this is lovely, in its convalesce". "Sitting in my favorite place, with my favorite person". "The love of my life". Fred said, kindly with a gentle hum, as he lit his cigarette. The end turned orange with a glow. "Thank you". Ana said. "Of course, darling". Fred said, gently. "You are my inspiration, my love, and my wonder, my hope for the future". "Just as you are to everyone". "You are someone truly fruitful to our world, my love". Fred smiled an unnerving smile, as he smoked. He crossed his thin, bony legs. He was still in his olive colored suit. "So, how have things been, my darling?". "We haven't spoken in so long, it seems". "I'm wondering how you've been keeping, dear". Fred said, gently with softness. "Good". Ana said, with some melancholy behind her voice. Fred seemed concerned with this, as he glanced at Ana. "you sound a bit pensive, my darling". "Are you certain everything is…good?". "I know right now has been difficult for you…what bothers you, honey?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "My….my…my ma-ma and pa-pa…them tell me I live in hos-pit-al in-stead of bei-ing by my-self". Ana said, sullen. "Them tell me I no get job, or go to school". "Me live in hos-pi-tal". "I can do it….me can work". "I…I..I no know why I live in hos-pi-tal". Ana's voice was saddened, and sullen, as well as troubled.
"Oh, well, that's quite honest of your mother and father to say". Fred said, gently, with softness. "I know you may believe you are capable, but I wish to be honest in our moment of truth, in our moments of friendship, as of now". "Is that alright?". "May I be honest with you?". Fred asked, kindly, with softness to his voice. "O-k". Ana said, as she glanced up at Fred, while she drank her tea, and almond milk in her sippy cup. "In honesty, you have something called an intelligence quotient". "We're all born with one, and it develops over time". "It essentially measures how smart we are". Fred explained, gently with softness. "You have an intelligence quotient, and so do I". "we both do, everyone does". "Yours happens to be very low due to the trauma you experienced in infancy". "You aren't very smart, Ana". "You have something called an intellectual disability, which means you have a harder time learning, and retaining information". "Because of your disability, you cannot read, count numbers, or determine certain facts, or information". "You have a harder time with abstract thinking, and reasoning". "You have a hard time learning". Fred said, gently with softness.
Ana nodded. "But why do I have to learn to be in my own house?". Ana asked. "When adults first come to the outside world, there's a lot of skills they need to know in order to survive, and make a living". "They must learn how to pay bills, how to use a pocketbook, they must know a lot". "Only someone with an average intelligence, or higher can use those skills". Fred said, gently with softness. "You are below average with your intelligence". "You, unfortunately, do not have these skills, and perhaps will never attain them, because of the trauma you encountered in infancy". "You perhaps will never live on your own, have your own house, drive a car, or go on to secondary school". "You won't be able to live a normal life…because you are disabled". "You are limited in what you can do". "You won't be able to do much of anything, unless you are in the hospital". Fred said this with gentleness, and soft kindness. Ana nodded, as she sniffled. "I know". Ana said, as she sounded somewhat emotional. She glanced around, seeing the blood red in the rainy sky. Was the man, the zombie underneath the grave, dead or alive? Would he rise from the grave, and bring about a deafening shriek? What would it bring about?
"Why am I hand-i-capped?". Ana asked, struggling to pronounce the word. "Well, it does have a lot to do with your story, when you were first born in 1952 in Moscow". "Your story does begin there". Fred said, gently with softness. "Why?". Ana asked.
"On April 17th, 1952, you were born in Moscow, Russia, in a small town outside of the city, near where Lenin's burial place is". Fred said, kindly with softness. "You were born to a lovely woman, named Olga Vladmirova". "That was your last name….Vladmirova, it still is, but you did have it transitioned when you arrived in America". Fred's voice softened as he told the story. "Your birth mother had you in the morning, and as she glanced down at you, as she held you in her arms, as she kissed your forehead, she knew you were her greatest gift". "She held you in her arms, and she allowed you to drink some of her breast milk". "She loved you, dearly, and there was a special bond between the both of you". "The bond between a mother and her child is inseparable, and a loving bond that never ceases to end". "Mothers love their children dearly when they're born, and the children benefit from the mother's milk, love, licks, attention, and attachment". "It's true with all creatures, bright and beautiful". "The mother gives the child milk, nurturing, attention, and love". "Love is the most important ingredient in the homogenous mixture". "Without love, a child cannot survive".
"While you had that in the first few hours, days, and weeks, while you had the special bond between you, and your birth mother, it unfortunately, came to a tragic end". Fred whispered, gently. "...why?". Ana asked, as she drank from her bottle. Her sippy cup Fred supplied her with, even though she had her tea. "Just a few weeks into having you, your birth mother passed away in her sleep". Fred whispered, kindly. Ana's stare, and glance became narrowed, perhaps a tad widened, as she listened to this news. "My birt-ma-ma die?". Ana said, with handicap to her voice. "She unfortunately did pass". Fred whispered, kindly. "She died of brain cancer when she was only 26 years old". "She was very young when she had you". "She was 26…oh…she was the same age". Fred's whisper softened. "You were sleeping in the other room, you never got to say goodbye". Fred's whisper sounded emotional as he told the story.
"Oh….". Ana said, as she glanced up at Fred. there was silence between them. "She was young". Ana said. "Yes, she was young, she never got to see you grow up". Fred whispered, solemnly. "When you were young, 3 weeks old, you were taken to an orphanage, and there, it was very battering to you". "You were heavily abused and neglected in the orphanage".
Fred's voice softened. "You were taken to orphanage 12 in the poorer part of Moscow, and left there under the supervision of multiple workers, instead of one true, consistent caregiver". "You were tied to a metal crib with bedding during the day, and left there to lay in a dark room". "You were never hugged, kissed, fed, but one meal a day through a bottle, or given love". "You were never played with, interacted with, or given nurturing". "You were deprived of love". Fred whispered, softly. "In the orphanage, oftentimes, the interaction was negative, and you were given abuse instead of love". "You were often beaten, thrown, spat on, battered, and bruised because there were no qualified workers there". "You were often alone….because there was no one". "You've never had anyone to love you…except when your mother and father came to see you".
Fred whispered, as he blew out cigarette smoke. "There was no one there to give you hope, or faith". "You were oftentimes, alone". "When your mother and father came to retrieve you, you were so deprived of love, and traumatized, you could barely lift your head, listen to instructions, or recognize voices of your caregivers". "When I met you, you could barely lift your head, only when you did, you were taught to, by the therapists". "Even so, you barely lifted your head to say hello, you would stare at your hands, as if you saw them for the first time, you would make sucking noises, you were someone that was so fragile in infancy, you barely made it out". Fred whispered, gently. "I feel so bad for you that you endured all". "I wish there was something I could do to help my best friend, and the light of my life, through". "Because she needs love more than anyone I know". "She needs someone special, and loving". Fred's whispers were soft.
"Why do I have han-di-cap when I am a ba-by?". Ana asked. "Perchance it is because you were never given affection, love, stimulation, or the nurturing of your birth mother". "While birth mother's passing may have played a role, I think that more or less, it was your treatment in the orphanage". Fred said, softly with kindness. "When you were in the orphanage, you were never held, kissed, hugged, or given individual attention, as it would be for normal babies".
"When a baby is first born, she needs the affection, the stimulation, the love, and the touch of her birth mother". "But as she grows, her brain is also forming in its own way". "The brain is developing, neurons are forming, and becoming connected to nerve endings that create synapses". "When the synapses are connected, gray matter deteriorates, creating yellow matter on a fully functioning, structured brain". Fred explained, gently with softness. His voice, eerie in tone, raspy with smoker's depth was also sultry and somewhat sexual, as he explained this. Much like to the modern-era reader, the voice on a GPS system.
"But in order for the baby's brain to form correctly, and make synapse connections, she needs contact, and touch, play, and interaction with one, true caregiver". "With that caregiver, she can develop normally, and have an average intelligence". "Intelligence is the most important thing to a person". "We survive on reasoning skills, conceptualizing, analysis, and thinking with a high level of maturity, and social awareness". "We learn to analyze our environment before we interact with others, and make a decision, say a statement, or make an observation". "We think about where we are, and what's happening around us, before we speak, or act". "We converse with the rationality of how our world, our environment is functioning". Fred explained, gently. "When a baby is given contact, and her brain is fully formed, she can think normally, reason normally, speak clearly, and with diction, as well as clear cadence, and think logically, as well as retain information". "But she needs positive interaction with one caregiver, and love, as well as gentleness, play and stimulation, in order to develop correctly". "You had the potential to be important". "You were born with no genetic predispositions, or disorders". "When you were a baby, you were just abused, heavily, that's all".
"Oh….ok". Ana said, as she nodded. "The orphanage was a bad place for you, honey". Fred said, softly with a gentle whisper. "Your intelligence quotient as of now, is at 73". "Which is still very low". Ana seemed to gaze off, in an Autistic fashion as she rolled her eyes. "Ana". Fred said, softly with gentle, silky elegance to his deep, sonorous, raspy voice. "Ana, darling". Fred prompted again, gently, as his voice seemed to surround her. Ana turned her head upon hearing Fred's voice. "There you are, it was difficult to reach you for a moment". Fred said, kindly with softness. "You have a low intelligence, honey". Fred said, gently with softness. "I do". Ana said, as she replied to Fred's statement. "It is difficult for you to reason, think abstractly, and be logical, because you were deprived in infancy". Fred gently reminded, softly with kindness. "My IQ is low". Ana said. "Yes it is, because you never received love, milk, or kindness in the orphanage". "You were deprived at such an early age, that it was hard for you to be conceptual, abstract, and logical". "Your brain eventually formed, but it formed at a later time". "You are lucky, but you still need that love to carry you through your arduous times". Fred said, softly with gentleness. "You still need the nurturing to endow you with what could be something beneficial". "Nurturing from a caregiver is crucial". "Someone who has endured trauma, and pain ought to be nurtured in the best way". "She needs it, more than anyone I know". "Because she has been through pain". There was some emotion behind Fred's voice as he spoke to Ana. Ana seemed ok with it, as she glanced up at the red sky, the blood red sky, there was always a blood red sky in 1968. It seemed as if a dark shadow had been cast over the rest of the world at that time. It had been a tumultuous year.
Fred whispered, as he glanced at Ana. His whispers seemed to be quiet, somber, and somewhat dismal as he spoke. He seemed to be in a state of pensive, melancholy thought. Ana glanced up at Fred, wondering what he was whispering about. "I'm just happy your mother and father rescued you when they did…because the orphanage was a slow hell". "A wicked hell". Fred whispered, softly with gentleness, as he felt comfort for Ana. Ana glanced at Fred, sniffling. "How do you feel about losing your birth mother?". Fred asked, in a gentle whisper. Ana glanced at Fred, sniffling. "I…I…I feel…I feel sad". Ana said, with her retarded speech, underdeveloped in its diction, slow in its style, wavering in its cadence….broken in its history…hurt in its regression. Ana sounded more and more like a child who had been abandoned, struck by tragedy, damaged by loss, abused by the ones that formed her in Russia, all because of her birth mother's death.
"What makes you the most saddened?". Fred asked, in a soft, gentle whisper. "be-cause….I cou-ld'-'ve been smart". Ana said, struggling even now to pronounce her words. "I could have been nor-mal, and no han-di-cap". "No re-tar-ded". Ana struggled through this phrase, with much emotion behind her voice. "Do you believe you could've been able to live a normal life if you hadn't lost your birth mother?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "Yes". Ana said. "I believe you could have as well". Fred said, softly, sighing an endearing sigh. "But even so, Russia is such a turbulent place, coming to America was the best thing". "You have so much opportunity here, so much wisdom you hadn't gotten anywhere else". "You were lucky to come to the United States, there's so much comfort here, I know not necessarily in the era we've seen, but there is a lot more peace than there is in Russia". "Russia was a bad place for you, for any child, and I feel heartbroken that you were in the orphanage, suffering". "The world needs you, darling". "The world needs us to find peace any way we can, to bring your lost heart home".
Ana nodded. "You feel bad for me?". Ana asked, glancing up at Fred. "I feel heartbroken for you". "I always knew that a young child, a vulnerable infant, so tender, so small, and new to the world, never deserves to be treated with less than utmost respect, and holiness". "Children hold the key to a brighter tomorrow, and make the world a better place for us". "Children are everything to the world". Fred whispered, kindly. "But you and I will always be part of one another". "A part of my heart belongs to you, and a part of your heart belongs to me, forever". "Because we were meant to be together…my darling". Fred smiled a gentle, kind smile, as he finished the last of his cigarette. An unnerving smile spread across his face, as he smoked his cigarette. "Me too". Ana said, as she glanced around, with some emotion in her eyes. "Was it hard to talk about your beginnings?". Fred asked, gently with softness. "Kind of…but I am ok". Ana said, as she glanced up at Fred. "you'll be just fine, my darling". "There is nothing to worry of…because you've been an amazing person…in every aspect". "You are my darling". "My sweetheart….til death do us part". Fred whispered, kindly, as Ana approached him. Fred kindly stroked her face. "Our love, our bond is eternal…from now until forever". Fred whispered, kissing Ana's forehead, gently. "I know". Ana said, as Fred nuzzled her, gently. "You must be hungry after a busy day at school". Fred said, kindly, with soft gentleness that was cuddly, quite like a soft, teddy bear. "I sort of am". Ana said, struggling with her speech. "I have some supper for the both of us, we both will enjoy it". Fred whispered, kindly, as he massaged Ana's cheeks with his thumbs. "Are you hungry for supper, darling?". Fred asked in a kind whisper. "Yes". Ana said. Fred smiled as he put out his cigarette. Fred rose from his porch seat, walking inside as he opened the fridge that was bought in 62.
"I renovated my house a bit, the cabinets are new, my refrigerator is somewhat new, it is a new remodel". "Do you like it?". Fred asked, gently. "I do". Ana said, as she glanced around…knowing she hadn't been in Fred's house since she was a young girl. "It is nice, how I remodeled a bit". "I knew we both would enjoy it". Fred said, gently, as he took some ice cream from the fridge. "What is that?". Ana asked. "This is our luxurious dinner for the evening, some ice cream, and milk". "I know perhaps your parents are somewhat wary of you having ice cream for supper, but with me as your husband, it has no mind to it". "We can indulge in any luxury we choose". Fred said, gently, with a sonorous, sultry hum to his voice. "Mm, we have some cheesecake as well". "I adore cheesecake". Fred smiled a creepy, unnerving smile as he took a scoop of ice cream out of the container, putting one big one, and a small one in a bowl. "Lovely, isn't it?". Fred said, seductively, as he chuckled a bit, putting a scoop in Ana's bowl as well. "That?". "I want more". Ana said, looking at the bowl.
"This is what I could fit into the bowl, honey". Fred said, softly with somewhat tired, gentleness. "It would spill over if I put another scoop in". "We can always come back for some more". "My bowls are very small".
"No, I want more!". Ana said, as she began becoming angry. "I want more!". She became tearful as she glanced at the bowl. "I do it by myself!". Ana's aggressiveness became more heated, as tears came down. "Ana, darling". Fred said, with gentleness, and wisdom, softness behind his nurturing voice. Ana seemed to cry, and became angry with the amount of ice cream in the bowl. "Ana". Fred said, sofly with gentleness behind his voice. Ana sniffled, as she clenched her fists. "Think about what is making you angry at the moment". "Take a deep breath, breathe in slowly, and think about what is making you angry". "Is it something worth becoming angry over?". "Think before you act…I implore you to think". "Rather than feel". "Think, Ana". Fred said, gently with sultriness, and allure behind his soft voice. Ana began calming down, as she felt tears come down. "I…I…I can get more ice cream". "It is o-k". Ana said, as she breathed deeply. "There now, you have an excellent memory, my darling". Fred said, gently with soft kindness. "You can always come back for more, my dear". "You did an excellent job solving the problem wisely". "You are improving with every aspect". "Though you still are at the emotional age of a small toddler". Fred slimily said this under his breath. "Let's hug now, my darling love". Fred said, softly with gentle kindness. Ana nodded, as she put her ice cream aside, hugging Fred. Fred gently rubbed her back, as she sniffled. "Shh, it's alright now, my dear". "Everything is alright, my Ana". "no need to cry, or worry". "Aggression never solves a problem". "Thinking does, although". Fred reminded, gently with softness. Ana nodded, as she sniffled. "Thank you". She said, as she sniffled. Fred massaged her cheeks, gently. "Shh, shh, everything will be alright". "I'm beside you, my darling love". Fred whispered, kindly. Fred kissed Ana's forehead, kindly, as she accepted the kiss. "I will never leave you…because I love you". Fred whispered, gently, as he nuzzled Ana. Ana nodded, as they went outside to the porch.
"We won't let a minor issue ruin our perfect evening". Fred said, gently, as he grinned another creepy, cheshire cat's grin. "We have luxury and love in our hearth". Fred set his ice cream down, as he glanced off to the side, seeing Ana praying. "You're thanking the Lord for his bounty". "That truly is wonderful". Fred said, gently in a soft whisper. "I am". Ana said. "You've always relied on the Lord for comfort". Fred whispered, gently. "Perhaps because as a young girl with subconscious memories of her trauma, The Lord was the only one you could turn to, for hope". "In your darkest times".
"Y…y…yes". Ana said, as she glanced up at Fred. "yes, Fred".
Fred smiled a kind smile. "The Lord is a lovely source for anyone…and he is readily available". "He truly is someone with his own love". Fred said, gently with softness. "Yes". Ana replied. Fred kissed Ana's cheek, as she ate her ice cream, only pausing when she felt it appropriate to. Other than that, she did eat her ice cream, in a plentiful manner. "This is a picture of you as a young infant". "You had such short hair, because in orphanages, they often keep a baby's hair a certain length". "You were so wonderful, and adorable". Fred said, kindly, showing Ana a picture ofof her when she was an infant. Ana had short hair, brown eyes, and a nightgown. Ana's expression was plain, and sullen, as she lifted her hands to look at.
"This was when you first came home". "You were so lovely when you first came home….you laughed, you smiled, and you were so pleasant towards your mother and father". "They loved seeing you in your infancy, drinking your bottle, laughing, watching television, and babbling". Fred said, gently with softness. "You did used to babble to yourself quite a bit". "The doctors in their report, stated that you loved to babble, and stare at the ceiling". "You slept quite a bit as well". "You loved staring at your hands a lot, as well".
Ana nodded, as she looked at the baby picture. "When I met you, you would laugh, giggle, and babble when you felt happy". "You were very attentive". "You were such a happy, pleasant darling". Fred said, gently with softness. "You loved your mother and father, truly". Fred smiled an unnerving smile as he smoked his cigarette.
"I know". Ana said, as she glanced around. Fred smiled a kind smile, as he saw Ana yawn, as she drank from her milk bottle. "You must be ready for bed, love". Fred whispered, gently. Ana nodded, as her brown, round eyes looked up at Fred, as she drank her milk.
"Let's go to bed now, honey". Fred whispered, kindly as he rubbed Ana's back, gently while they walked inside. Ana got some more milk from the kitchen, as she went inside the guest bedroom. "That's lovely that you brought your blanket with you". Fred whispered, kindly. "That way, you'll feel comfortable". "That is exquisite". Fred pulled down the sheets as Ana snuck underneath the blankets. "Goodnight, darling". "Your best friend, your husband loves you very much". Fred whispered, gently. "I love you, too". Ana said. Fred sat on the side of the bed, kindly.
"A part of my heart is yours, just as a part of your heart, is mine". Fred said, kindly in a gentle whisper. "I know". Ana said. Fred kissed Ana's cheeks, gently. She drifted off to sleep with a gentle, tender stroke of Fred's bony, long fingers to her cheeks. She fell asleep, in comfort, in gentleness, as she fell under the guise of sleep in all of its aspects.