Chapter 1
The finite being of life. It can be dower to know that there is a beginning and an ending, but it's all a question of whether or not you know where it began, and where it ended. If you know that, life can be pretty dower in its nature. But enough of that nonsense, whatever it is, wherever it lies. Wisdom has a beginning measure, and an ending measure. We're born with it, we die with it, it's pretty straightforward how it happens in its essence.
Needless for me to say, women have no wisdom unless they're awakening the nurturing part of their brain. When they do that, life is immeasurably easy for them. Other than that, there's no wisdom present.
Men have the sense of wisdom that overrides the scorn of primal instinct. In some ways, one can say we're pretty literate when we wish to be. Other than that, we're always intuitive to when someone is being naive. That's mostly everyone who hasn't decided anything yet.
In any case, I haven't gotten around to stating my name, and such. The name is Ace Copular, and I'm in my 20's as of now, maybe in my 30's, but I'm getting up there, as such. I've been running the streets of Townsville, in the best way possible. But I'm sure to let proprietorship come into its own thing.
I may admire no one because no one deserves any sort of recognition, except for my Ira. Mmm, my Ira. Ira Wilson, she is 15 as of now. She's got brown, stringy hair, a porcelain face that makes her look like an 8 year old, and she recently has been canonized as a Saint. She had her ceremony in Italy. My Ira has been praying, and keeping a steady relationship with the Lord for a long time, but her beauty and intellect kept me close to her. I loved seeing my Ira at her Children's Hospital, bringing her gifts, and talking with her. Today, I promised to let her stay over my humble abode. A dirty one-story house in the back of a grocery store.
Ira came today, holding her teddy bear, wearing her dress, as she met me in our little meeting spot. Her brown eyes were beautiful and round with curiosity. "Hi, Ace". Ira said, with hesitance behind her voice. "Hey, beautiful". I said, gently with kindness as I lit my cigarette. The lighter flame illuminated my face. "You look super sweet, girl". "Like a million bucks plus tax". I said, gently, with a suave charisma as I winked at Ira. my voice thick and nasally, was deep with that of the smoker's damaged vocal cords. "How are things, darling?". "Everything going ok?". I asked, gently. Ira lifted her eyes a bit. She didn't respond when I spoke to her. "Ira". I said, gently with a comforting voice. Ira turned her head as she heard me. "Yes?". She asked. "How are things going, baby girl?". "It's been so long since I've seen you". I said, gently. "Things are alright as of now". Ira replied. "I just received my certificate for being a paralegal, and I'm on my way to becoming a judge". Ira held her teddy bear close.
"Hey, that sounds amazing". "You are the most reliable out of both of us". "You're so gifted, and intelligent, I know you'll be someone so inspiring one day". I said, kindly. "I hope to". Ira replied. "Where's this school you got your certificate from?". I asked, gently. "It's close to the main highway, behind some hotels". "It's a nice learning annex, but they offer legitimate degrees". Ira replied. "Hey, some of their degrees for computer science, and business come as certificates, but they're pretty legit most of the time". "I never had an interest in school, so you'll never find me getting one of those". "I'd rather cheat and repeat". I said, gently. I brought the cigarette to my lips, as the end burned to a cinged ash. Soon, I was filled with a cloud of ashen smoke. I blew out some more smoke.
"You were never into school?". Ira asked. "I hated school when I was your age". "I hated bein confined to a desk, sittin there for 8 hours of my time, learning things I'd never use". I replied, gently. "I hated doin it, but I'd rather dick around, than get a job right now". "Though the probation officer wants me to get one". "Hey, maybe I could pose as your agent, or manager that way we could torture him". I suggested, smiling a sly smile. Ira nodded as she agreed. "That would perhaps be viable". Ira said. "Hey, it would be much better than getting thrown behind bars again". "Those officers tortured me in there, once I spat on them, but besides the point of them throwing me against the cell". I said, rubbing some of the growing ash from my cigarette against the brick wall.
"There isn't too much I haven't done, but just as long as I have my best friend, and my superstar with me". I said, gently as I smiled a cunning smile to Ira. Ira nodded. "I know". Ira said. "One of these days, we still have to go on a trip, rent our own little cabin in the woods, and spend a couple days, love". I said, gently. I tapped ash from my cigarette.
"That might be nice, but on the subject of school, I actually did pretty well when I made the program, I studied extensively, I did my work, I even worked with my support teacher, and she helped me as well". Ira said. "Your teachers love you, baby girl". "One of them even gave you a bouquet of flowers just for studying your material". "I guess when you're friends with the teachers, it makes it easier, but it's still a good, plentiful subject". I said, gently as I smoked my cigarette. "You got what you needed, which I'm impressed by". "I knew you could do it". I smiled behind my cigarette.
"I'm doing well, but I'm not making enough to live on my own". Ira said. "I still stay behind at the hospital because I want to, I don't know….I don't….I don't have a home as of now". "It's a lot".
"Come live with me, cupcake". I said, gently. "You won't have to pay for anything, and you're guaranteed a nice warm bed, and some clothes to wear, you love staying with me". "We can visit any restaurant you wish to". "We're guaranteed anything we wish".
"Thank you". Ira said. "I was beginning to become worried".
"There's nothing to worry about, love". "As long as we have a place to lay our heads, we're quite alright". I said, gently. "I love how truly amazing you are, and how lovely you are as well".
"Thank you". Ira said. I smiled a gentle smile. "You know you're always my favorite, my angel come from heaven, my heroine, and I will always be thankful for you". I said, gently. Ira nodded.
I tapped some more ash from my cigarette, blowing out smoke. "How come you have Gangrene?". "Just…out of curiosity?". Ira asked. "Mm, my skin has been this color for a long time". "It's more of a genetic condition than anything". "My father had it". I explained gently. "But I haven't showered or shaved in a while, so it is kind of spreading to other parts". "These scabs I've had from not washing my skin in a long time, that or I wash it with sewer water". "I don't see the need in paying extra for water, when I can go down to the sewer, and wash for free". I said, gently.
"Truly, if you look at the scabs, they have some bugs inside them, that crawl out when you pick at them". "They're my dudes, I've had them for a long time, and don't want to bother with them, they get mean if they get let out". I said, gently. I could see Ira backing away for a second. "Um….nice to know….I guess". Ira said, with hesitance. "I've taken some showers, but usually, I don't touch the scabs". I said, gently. "They're not worth the hustle".
"Ok…". Ira said. She backed away a bit more. I smiled a sly smile, smoking my cigarette. "So, how have you been doing, emotionally, kiddo?". "You don't have any more nightmares, or anything of the sort?". I asked, gently. "Not exactly". Ira said. "Sometimes, they come up, but they're usually gone right away".
"Come to think of it, I've been sleeping real well, myself". I said, gently. "I've had some cool times when I went to bed right at 10:30, but that's only because smoking has made me so tired". "I wake up, and I'm usually tossing and turning at 4 am, but I get right back to it at 5:30, and I'm sleepin again". "It's a weird habit, but it's quite alright".
"I went to sleep at 9…but that's only because I do so much during the day". Ira said. "Hey, you do a lot, when you add it to your regimen, it's easier said than done". I said, gently.
I smoked the rest of my cigarette. "You love sleeping, girl". "You used to sleep a lot at the Children's Hospital, it was like you were exhausted most of the time". I said, gently. "I kind of was". Ira replied. "I guess….having therapy made me exhausted".
"Yes, when those nurses work you the whole day, you're bound to get tired". I said, kindly. I tapped out some more ash before stamping the cigarette stub out with my shoe. "You're in a good place, though". "You wake up, you do your thing, you go to sleep, you're still in a better off place". "I wouldn't be worried about it". I said, kindly. I took another cig from the box, beginning to light it. "Worry makes us tired, love makes us finite". I said, gently. I lit the other cigarette. Ira was coughing as she walked around. "Hey, does that bother you a bit?". I asked, gently. "Kind of". Ira replied, coughing a bit. "But I'm ok".
My Ira, she looked similar to a five year old, or an 8 year old when she turned her head. She looked younger than she actually was. "Let me know, sweetie, so I can best fit our needs". I said, gently. I smiled a gentle smile. Ira nodded, walking around. I smoked my cigarette, as more of the ashen cloud came up. "What's on your mind, love?". I asked, gently as I noticed Ira pondering something. "Um…what now?". Ira asked. "You look like you're pondering something, deeply". "What are you thinking about?". I asked, gently. "Nothing, really". "I'm just kind of thinking about a nightmare I had a couple weeks ago". Ira said. "It was kind of troubling, but it wasn't anything scary, it was just ominous, kind of". Ira sniffled as she said this.
I smoked my cigarette, becoming sympathetic to my baby girl, my Ira. I always knew when she was about to become upset, or saddened. "What happened, sweetie?". I asked, gently with softness. "What was your nightmare about?". I tapped some ash from my cigarette. "It wasn't about anything". Ira grumbled, turning her head away. "Tell me". I suggested, softly with kindness. "We'll get it off your chest".
"Well….I guess….I….I….I don't know….I…my nightmare had me in a dark room….and I was a baby….and there was a demonic bear coming in with red eyes….and he came in, beating me with a plank of wood when I cried". "He snapped his teeth, and growled, when I cried". "That's….that's how my foster father used to treat me when I was an infant….I was told…I don't remember….but that's what happened….supposedly". Ira said, as she sniffled, I knew her sniffles would turn into a cry.
"Hmm". I nodded, gently. I continued smoking my cigarette. "Perhaps that might be a memory you had coming from when you were so young". "Just a baby girl". I said, softly with gentleness.
"I remember we talked about where you came from, what happened when you were an infant, your foster father was very abusive towards you". "He used to hit you with a plank of wood when he heard you crying, and he would hiss and growl at you". "He used to try and strangle you, he was a very abusive man". I said, gently with softness. "I don't know how you can come to forgive him for what he did to you, early on". "He was an evil man, but y'know, sometimes, the worst things we experience are the ones we don't often think about or remember". "It's a complicated thing".
"I don't either". Ira said, as she sniffled. "I know it's hard for you now, baby girl, talking about your past, but it does have to come out at some point". I said, gently.
"I still don't remember what happened….but somehow, I have nightmares about it". Ira said, sniffling. Ira began to cry. "Well, you were born in 1996, on a February day, the 23rd, and you were a beautiful baby, a normal size, a normal weight, all of everything good". I explained, softly with kindness. "But unfortunately, your birth mother died within several months of having you". "You were abandoned for some time until you were adopted by the abusive foster family". "While your mother wasn't so bad, your foster father was very abusive". "He would beat you with a plank of wood to stop you from crying, because he didn't like when you cried, he would try to strangle you, he kept you isolated in a dark room with a single window, strapped to a potty chair, where you'd have limited movement". "No one would kiss you, no one would hug you, no one would tell you they loved you, or caress your cheek, no one would read you a story, or bond with you, no one would stimulate you". "You were all on your own, my Ira". "you were by yourself, suffering". I smoked my cigarette, as a silence met us. The only sound heard was the sound of ash being tapped from a cigarette. I made some inaudible whispering sounds with my lips to comfort Ira, as I smoked.
"Eventually, your foster mother had cataracts because the sight had been beaten out of her, and she one day walked into the Child Services office instead of the eye doctor". "When the agent saw you in your condition, you were removed from your mom and dad's custody". I said, gently. "Both of your foster parents died the same year, but you survived". "You came to the Children's Hospital, and that's how we met".
Ira nodded, sniffling. She looked to be saddened by the truth, as she began to cry. "That's….what happened….and I guess….I still don't have a family….because of it'. Ira said, sniffling. "Honey, know that none of it was your fault". "You were deprived, you were maltreated, and tormented from the beginning". "You are a normal girl, you never had any genetic predispositions or anything". I said, gently. "When you were a baby, birth mother died, and that was only so traumatic for you". "Losing birth mom was the hardest thing".
Ira nodded, as she glanced around, wiping her eyes from tears. "You ok?". I asked, gently. "I'm fine". Ira said, as she sniffled. "I just kind of want to know why I was….I was maltreated by my foster father". "It's not like I did anything wrong". Ira sniffled again. "Well, perhaps that's just the way he was". "He didn't know what he was doing". I said, gently. "He might've had some psychological problems, but he was just a dick".
I smoked my cigarette, scraping some of the ash off of it. "I guess it's ok now….but…I guess…I kind of had some problems learning, and reading because of it". Ira said. "I understand". I said, gently. "That's only because you weren't stimulated enough, or given enough love, and support in the early years". "Sometimes, being abused leads to problems learning, and thinking".
"I know you've went on to do great things afterwards, however". "You've decided to learn to swallow, and chew, to walk, and talk, you've decided to do amazing things, and put so much effort into your skills". "Hmm…why is that, Ira?". I asked, gently. "Why are you so hardworking?".
Ira looked for a second as if to answer the question in a careful way. "well….I kind of worked hard so I could work past my limits and prove to myself that I'm not disabled". Ira said. "When I was disabled, when I had a hard time walking and eating, I felt trapped". "Having a low intelligence quotient is a prison sentence". "Intelligence is freedom, I believe". "I'm able to do more, I'm able to live more independently, I'm able to be liked more, and noticed, I have the world with my hard work, and intellect". "I can do anything". Ira glanced up at me.
"But none of it is natural, Ira". I said, gently. I blew out some smoke. "While you were born with opportunity, while there was normalcy, you were deprived, severely". "This trapped your intellect". "This made you have to work harder to get to the normalcy you've always had". "You've always relied on hard work, which is ok". "Usually, children who have no genetic abnormalities, who are deprived and isolated in infancy have normal quotients later on when they are nurtured". "Their intellect is trapped, because they never had a mother's touch, or breastmilk". "It comes out only through nurturing, and kindness". "But you were never shown that…until now".
I smiled a gentle smile. "Losing birth mom was traumatic for you". "Losing someone who nursed you, and touched you in the first few minutes of birth, the first few days, is always traumatic". "It is heartbreaking". I said, gently. "You lost birth mom, you lost your opportunity". "That is trauma at the source". I smiled a gentle smile, tapping ash from the cigarette. "You lost her touch, lost her smile, lost her milk". "She is dead now". I said, softly with gentleness. Ira nodded, as she sniffled. "How does that make you feel?". I asked, softly.
"Sad". Ira said. "Because I could've had a normal life…I could've been normal…but I'm not…I only have the Lord…I have my bond with him…I see my birth mother when I see him….but I don't have anything else". "I'm alone". I saw Ira's eyes, her brown eyes widened now, with sadness, with a human kind of essence to them. She was a trier who put effort into what she accomplished. She was traumatized, broken, and she needed love.
"I understand". I said, gently. "The Lord knows you have a strong bond with him because you've relied on him, mostly". "Because you were essentially on your own". "You had no other method of nurturing or comfort, except for that of the Lord". "There was no one else but him when you were by yourself".
"I….I guess". Ira said. "He was your family". I said, gently.
"He was the only one who was truly there for me". Ira said. Ira sniffled as she looked outside. "He was, and he cared deeply for you enough to work with you on performing miracles". "You essentially became his daughter". I said, gently. There was a blunt nature about me, as I spoke the truth. I had some information about my Ira, and I knew she couldn't escape it, because it was the reality of her story. It was the reality of her.
"That is all true". Ira said. "I was by myself for a long time, and I'm still looking for a family".
"It's ok now". I said, gently with assurance. "Things will be just fine, I assure you". "Now that you and I are copesthetic". I smiled a gentle smile. Ira nodded, as she glanced around. I finished with my cigarette. "By the way, I picked you up a special gift, just in case you get thirsty". I said, gently. I took some Oat Milk from my pocket. "Some of our favorite Oat Milk we like to drink, just in case we have the cravings for it". I said, gently. "Thank you". Ira said, drinking her Oat Milk. I smiled, kindly, as I smoked the last piece of my cigarette. Ira glanced around as she drank her milk. "You feelin better now, baby girl?". I asked, gently. "I'm feeling alright". Ira said. I smiled a gentle smile, putting my cigarette out underneath my foot. "Let's get you something to eat, love". "I know a favorite place of mine I've always wanted to go". I said, gently. "I was hoping to introduce it to you, as part of my gratitude".
"That would be nice". Ira said. We walked away from the meeting place. "I thought I might surprise you". I said, gently. "That would be nice". Ira said. We both got into my car. Yes, I had stolen a 1975 Impala from the Sheriff's garage, and he hasn't seen it since. Hey, we all have a past, right?
"This is nice". Ira said. "Don't tell no one, but I took it from the Sheriff's garage". "Took it right out from under his nose, didn't even see me do it". I said, coyly. "This 1975 beaut has to be redone in Van Dutch". "I love the raising of tires when my car does it". "I might get a new look".
"A new look would be nice". Ira said. "That, and you have the horsepower".
"The horsepower gives me mileage". I said, gently. Ira and I laughed. Ira glanced out of the window as we rode. "Have you considered repurposing cars?". Ira asked. "I've considered it, but it's too much mechanical know-how". "I'd have to get into reshaping the vehicles to do it". "Boring stuff I hate doing". "That, and I don't wish to get into it at all". I said, gently.
"Me neither". Ira said. I smiled a gentle smile. "One day I'll do it, but not as of now". "Now's too soon a time as ever". I said, kindly.
"But hey, we all do what's needed, eh?". I chuckled as I said this. Ira drank her milk, as I pulled the car to the other side of the grocery store I lived behind. Seriously, there's an annex behind there with a small building, and a house with a lookout porch, that's where I live.
"This is the great delicacy I wish to introduce you to". "Dario's pizza". I said, gently.
"This looks nice". Ira said, as she got out of the car. "I'll get em to make you a slice, on the house". I said, gently, winking. "That way, since you're hungry you can eat a bit". I got out of my car. Ira and I went into the pizza shop, as we sat down, while pizza was being made. "Drink some of your milk, baby girl". "That way, you can thrive when you need to". I chuckled, as I convinced the guy to buy us a slice. Pizza was already being made, come to think of it.
"Well, hey now". "You haven't tried it before". "Trying it now would be the wisest way". I said, gently. "That is true". Ira pointed out. We sat, enjoying our pizza, as Ira kept glancing off to the side. I noticed she was a bit distracted by something. "Everything good?". I asked, gently. "Everything is ok". "I just kind of noticed that maybe if I go to bed earlier tonight, my nightmares won't be so bad". Ira said. "I've noticed that as well, honey". "Well, finish eating, and we'll head out". I said, gently.
"Something like that". Ira said, as she glanced around. "How long has this pizza shop been here?". Ira asked. "Dario's came in a few years ago". "It's not a bad place to visit, either, with new stuff added everyday". I said, gently. "I come every week to get at least one thing, whatever it is". "But hey, what's new is new". I had my pizza, gulping it down, quickly. "You have some new things, as well, girl". I said, gently. "I'm pretty sure of it, too". Ira said. We both smiled.
"Well, in any case, you're doin' well". I said, while Ira took her time eating. "One of these days, you'll have to take me to Italy with you". I said, gently. "I love seeing the Riviera, going through Venice". "It's something magical I love". "You'll have to get me there one day".
"I perhaps will". Ira said. "One of these days….if I have another ceremony".
"You and I can fly there on a private jet". I said, gently. "One that I'll get from the mayor or somebody". "We'll have our own digs, trust me". I chuckled as I said this. "Perhaps we will". Ira said. "By your stealing from the mayor".
"Hey, I take what I can get". I said, as Ira and I laughed. I glanced around, making sure no one was seeing what was about to take place. When the cashier wasn't looking, I popped the drawer open, taking a few dollars from the register. "Well, well well". "Seems I have a nice triad here". I muttered, stuffing the dollars into my pocket. "I guess". Ira said, as she drank her milk, while she and I quickly hurried out. Stealing is not something I'm above. I love stealing, even if it means loss for a business.
"Well, honey, let's get you back home so you can rest awhile". I said, gently. Ira nodded, as she drank her milk. "You're still kinda sad about that nightmare?". I asked, softly, with gentleness behind my voice. "Kind of". Ira said, as she glanced up at me. "I kind of feel like….I kind of feel like with my nightmares….there's no way to do anything, and be comfortable with who I am". "It makes me feel insecure in a way". "I don't have a family, or anything". Ira continued.
"I understand". I said, gently. "Sometimes, when there's something tragic that's experienced, there's insecurity along with it". "I've felt insecure sometimes, myself". "But hey, now that we're together, we don't need to feel that at all". "We've got our riches, we've got our tenacity, we've got an extensive amount of stuff". "We're good to go". "You're ok, too". I smiled a gentle smile, getting into the car.
"Hey, don't be depressed, Senorita". "As long as you're with me, you got a family". "I'll be right behind ya". "Trust me". I said, gently. Ira nodded, as I winked at her a bit. "That, and I've got my people behind us, as well". "We'll be set for life, baby girl". A slimy, greasy smile spread across my face, as I chuckled a bit. I chuckled in a childish manner, some would take it. Though I comforted my Ira as I did this. Ira nodded, as I stroked her cheek with my fingers. "Shhh, shh, we're alright, baby girl". "We're gonna be ok". I said, gently, while comforting Ira. Ira still nodded.
Ira glanced upwards, as she paid attention to me, and the strokes I was giving her face. "You're my love". I said, in a seductive, yet gentle manner. "Thank you". Ira said. Ira sat in the car, as we rounded the grocery store, pulling in the back to the annex. When we got to the annex, I parked the car on the other side of the loading zone. "That's a wide open space". Ira pointed out as she glanced out of her window. "That's usually where their shipments come in, and unload". "They get trucks in every week, 3 times a week for their deliveries". "I hear those damn trucks every day I'm home". "I just had to buy the complex that was right near the loading dock". I explained.
"I sometimes steal the frozen foods from the truck when no one's watchin". "Put it in my freezer, and leave it there for a few days, before I get another". "It's an easy process". I said, as I shut my car door.
"That's nice". Ira said. Ira and I went inside the annex, as I dropped my keys in the silver bowl. "This is it, cupcake". "My humble abode I like sharing with no one…except for you, my dream". I said, gently. I smiled a gentle smile, leaning against the old stove. "This, is the palace I'll share with you, baby darling". I said, seductively with kindness. "Oh…it looks nice". Ira said, looking around. "Hey, I know it might not be perfect, but I consider it a nice home". "It's my space, and I love sharin it with my Ira-darling". "My Saint". I said, kindly.
"Thank you". Ira said. "It's perfect in every way…like you, Ace". Ira smiled a bit as she glanced, drinking her milk. "Thanks, darling". "I cleaned up a bit, knowing you'd like the layout". "That, and I've got something in the fridge, that might make you smile". I said, gently. I stepped over to the fridge, taking out some spaghetti. "This….this looks like my old nurse….nurse Hannah's recipe". Ira said. "She was my favorite nurse at the Children's hospital". "She….she was like a mom to me….a true mom….before she passed away".
"I called, and got her recipe, and I made some just for us". I said, gently. I smiled a cunning smile. Ira nodded. "Oh….oh…thank you". "That means a lot to me". Ira said.
"I'm sure it does". "It means a lot to me as well, and I do love seeing my baby girl happy". I said, gently. "You and I will one day change the world, my darlin". I smiled a kind smile. Ira nodded, as she and I hugged. "Let's get cleaned up a bit before you lay down, darling". I said, gently. Taking some baby wipes from my pocket, I cleaned Ira's face, just wiping it in a gentle, delicate manner.
"There you go, baby". "All nice, and hype". I smiled, kissing both of Ira's cheeks, as I pinched them, playfully. Ira laughed. When she felt tired, she retired to her bedroom. She wondered where it was, exactly. Standing, as if she needed help. My, she is so cute. "The bedroom is just down the hall, this way, honeybunch". "Right over here, you'll find it, I made the bed so you can be comfy in it, love". I said, kindly. "Thank you". Ira replied, as she laid down. "There you are, all nice and snug". "Let me know if ya need anythin', I got your back". "I'll just set this milk right here in case you need it, and a kiss from your prince charmin;". I said, gently, chuckling a bit. "Iss at ok?". "If I'm your prince charmin?". I asked, kindly. "That's perfectly fine". Ira said. We both smiled, as Ira laid down, retiring her position for sleep. Sleep was the tantamount thing for both of us. Well, Ira in particular. She laid down, comfortably, catching up on some rest. While I…well…I went to take care of some business. Someone powerful needed me, to do something of their bidding. But for now, I watched Ira sleep. There she was…so peaceful…so tranquil in her nap. I admired every second of it. I knew she would make a great tool for my plans. I just needed her to trust me in full.