Melting the Ice

Hello once again, another Bleach fic incoming. As I said when I posted "A Vice-Captain's Sorrow", rewatching Bleach just had me on a whole "wow there's a bunch of deep conversations I wish we could've seen happen." and this was one of them, so here's my take on things. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bleach doesn't belong to me.

Chapter 1: Blizzard

"Are you telling me there is no hatred within that sword you hold ready? Or, is it that the second Hinamori-kun joined us here in full health… your hatred just vanished into thin air?"

Aizen's words haunted him. Because tragedy struck not too long after he'd said them.

The first time he'd failed to protect her, he'd watched her collapse to the ground in a pool of her own blood, stabbed by her own Captain. The pain from her wound but, more importantly, the sting of betrayal and confusion was so present on her face as she lost consciousness. After she'd already been put through so much, that bastard still dealt her a final blow.

The second and most unforgivable was by his own doing. It wasn't too long after Aizen had said those very words to him that he'd completely snapped. He and the other Captains had gone in for the kill, ready to finally put a stop to Aizen. Hitsugaya had been the one to finish him off, to put the blade right through his chest and drive it in as far as he could… or so he thought.

The ultimate power of Kanzen Saimin had fooled them again, fooled him again. A revelation that broke him. What was supposed to be Aizen on the other side of his blade turned out to be the very person he was fighting to protect, the person he was going to kill Aizen for.

He'd run his blade right through Hinamori.

All was quiet in The Seireitei as The Captain of the Tenth Squad sat at his desk reliving the worst moment of his life over and over again, gripping the brush in his hand too tightly, so tightly that his hand was trembling. He couldn't even decide what was worse: carrying her already weakened body in his arms or hearing her soft voice, so confused, asking why. Why had he done this to her? He'd done the unthinkable to her yet she'd still said his name so gently. And when her body went limp and her eyes shut…

He'd completely lost it.

How can I ever face her again?

His frustration at his powerlessness got the best of him as his grip on the brush tightened until it broke and ink got on his hand. He'd cursed and got up to go clean himself.

On his way back from washing his hands he'd found Matsumoto standing at the door to the office. He'd walked in without a word, picked up his blade, securing it over his shoulder before he stopped to acknowledge her.

"What is it, Matsumoto?" his back was to her.

"I didn't think you'd still be awake." her voice was serious, concerned.

He'd looked at the clock on the wall. She had a point, even when he'd stayed up late to finish up work, he'd never stayed up past two in the morning. Even though he wasn't looking at her, he could feel her staring, trying to read him.

For the past week, Hitsugaya had been confined to his office, only leaving when he was called out or when there were Captain's meetings. Matsumoto, for all her antics and playful teasing, understood that he wanted to be alone as much as possible and had only gone into the office when absolutely necessary. Heck he'd even seen her take her work with her so she could leave her Captain alone with his thoughts. He knew he was asking a lot of her, without even saying anything but, he was immensely grateful for her consideration. The last thing he wanted was to take out his frustrations on her.

"I didn't think you'd be either, you should go to bed." things were unfortunately tense right now but his vice-captain being who she was, didn't let it last long.

"Kids need their rest too, or do you want to stay that height forever?" Matsumoto put a hand on her hip and let out an amused huff.

"Who you calling a kid?" he looked over his shoulder, giving her a small smile.

The moment was short but it was enough for her. If he could still manage a smile, no matter how small, that was a victory for her. She watched him Flash Step away a little more sure that he'd be okay with time.

Hitsugaya was in a cave surrounded by ice of his own creation, his heavy breathing came out in white puffs. Sweat trickled down his face as he tried to steady his breathing, his right hand tightly clutching his blade while his left rested on his knee. He'd been training for the past hour, wearing himself out, performing every move he could with Hyōrinmaru. He was exhausted and his reiatsu low but he refused to stop.

It's not enough, I'm still not strong enough!

He stood upright and readied his sword once more, ignoring the dizziness, as he charged up the last of his power.

"Bankai—

But before he could even release his power he fell to the ground, his body couldn't take anymore no matter how strong his sheer will was.

xxx

"Shiro-chan...why?" a trail of blood fell from the corner of her mouth as she asked before going limp in his arms.

Hitsugaya's eyes flew open and he shot up, frantically looking around. The same nightmare again and the reason why he'd been staying up late. Every time he closed his eyes, he'd see her sunken in eyes and wounds gushing blood. He couldn't take it anymore so he'd avoided sleep as much as he could, until he literally collapsed from exhaustion like what had just happened.

What the? Wait a minute. He was back in the office, on the couch, Hyōrinmaru sheathed and on the small table next to him. It was early morning, the weak sun's rays barely lighting up the room. He turned to put his feet on the floor and noticed the blanket over him. Matsumoto. The few times he'd slept on this couch he'd always woken up with this blanket over him by her doing. He'd made a mental note to thank her later.

He got up, folded the blanket then headed out, to the same place he always went. To see her. Hinamori was currently recovering in the Fourth Squad's Medical Bay. No changes as usual, the only movement from her was the rise and fall of her chest. Breathing but otherwise still very much unconscious. She'd been in this state ever since he'd…

He'd stood at the door to her room, never daring to enter feeling like he'd be invading if he did. With a stoic but tired expression, he watched her sleep, clenching his fist in frustration. It had been weeks, why wasn't she awake yet?

Even though she was asleep, she looked anything but peaceful. Her brows slightly furrowed as if going through a nightmare of her own. That would make sense, he thought to himself, considering everything she's been through.

"What can I do? What can I say to get you to wake up, Hinamori?" his voice was low, desperate.

"Call out to her." the Captain of the Fourth Squad walked up to him, and looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

"Unohana-taichou." he turned to face her.

"Her nightmares may cease and she may rest better if she hears the voice of someone special to her."

"I wonder about that." he frowned, "Hinamori isn't going to wake up just because I want her to. And after what I did to her, I doubt she'd even listen to me." his eyes fell to the ground. "Excuse me." he turned and left.

And that's chapter 1 done, hope you enjoyed! I deffs enjoyed writing this and can't wait to post the rest of this story so stay tuned and lemme know what you think.

Well that's it from me-

Until the next chapter:

Ketsui Tasogare :-)