Chapter 5
Ira coughed a bit, looking around, in a glance. "Honey". I said, gently as Ira laid in bed. Ira looked up from drinking her Oat Milk. "you feelin ok?". "You look better, but you've been coughin". I said, gently. Ira's round, brown eyes glanced off to the side as she glanced upwards. "I'm ok for right now". Ira said. "I've been kind of sniffling, but everything's ok now". "I am kind of tired".
"Get some rest, love". I said, gently. "You need it for the coming days". I smiled a gentle smile. "Why, what's happening on the coming days?". Ira asked. "Oh…um…we're um….going to a special dinner". "That's right….a nice lil banquet, in the old theater hall". I said, gently, cracking an evil grin. (hey, I tried to make it as less evil as I could). "The old theater hall?". "Isn't that where magicians used to perform, and do their shows, as well as ventriloquists?". Ira asked. "Somethin' like that". I replied. "The goody ol' mayor used to see those when he was a kid, so he knows". "But it's just an awards dinner, for you in fact". I buttoned my shirt a bit. Ira glanced upwards as I smiled a gentle, kind smile. "An awards dinner?". "What for, exactly?". Ira asked. \
"It's just for your service to the United States". "It's a special place where you're the guest of honor, and you will receive an award for your fine deeds". I said, gently. "Everyone will be there that we know". "The mayor, your nurses from the Children's Hospital, I've invited them, and the boys, of course". "I made sure they came to see your awards".
"Wow um…ok". Ira said, as she coughed a bit, into her sleeve. "So, you invited pretty much everyone….and it will be an awards banquet?". "That sounds nice".
"Also…and this isn't important….but I found that the money I made in my savings account is gone". "When I looked at the expense purchases, I found that the money was spent on a new bong, cigarettes, and something called a talisman". Ira said. "The transactions aren't mine…so it must be either one of the boys' or…..yours".
My forehead began sweating beads. "Oh….well…it was nothin". "I didn't do anythin like that". "I never even seen that money, or that account". "Perhaps it was one of the boys". I said, nervously. With some trembling nervousness in my voice, I still was alluring when I spoke to my Ira. "Let's not worry about that right now, love". "Let's focus on makin' you feel better". "I got some vapo rub for ya to put on your chest". I said, gently, with allure, and suaveness to my voice. "Why don't we try it out, baby girl". I smiled a gentle smile, as Ira glanced around, readying herself to have some vapo rub put on her chest. Dipping my wrinkly, crusty fingers into the vapo rub, I rubbed some oil on Ira's chest, gently. "This will relax you, deeply". I said, gently. Ira nodded, laying down. I kept rubbing, glancing around as some of the nervousness left. Still, it returned when Ira asked another question.
"Have you been stealing my money?". Ira asked, as she glanced upwards. Some more sweat formed on my brow. "N..no…no, not exactly". "I ain't been stealin nothin". "If somethin' happened, the boys must've took it". I said, nervously. Knowing I had been caught.
"You have been stealing my money, haven't you?". Ira said, as she lifted her head. I could tell she was becoming rageful now. There was some anger in her voice. "What are you doing, taking my money?!". "I could sue you!". "I should give you a black eye!". Ira said, becoming angry.
"Shhh, shh, honey, let's not get worried now…inside voices". I said, softly in a calming manner. I knew when someone as intellectually disabled as Ira was becoming violent, and angry. There were days when her emotional age was at that of a raging 3 year old. She was irrational, she was angry, and unable to reason at a mature age level when she was angry.
"Shhh, let's calm down now, and think about this for a bit". I said, gently with softness. "Everything will be just fine…no need to be angry". "When we become angry, we can't think properly".
"I did not take your money, and those weren't my purchases". I said, softly with kindness. I essentially lied to Ira. "I would be more than happy to ask the boys if they've seen your account". "Until then, I think there's been a mistake, just a little mishap, that's all". "We'll work through it, and if someone sees the money, they can tell us where it was hiding". I said, softly with gentleness.
"Please don't be mad, honey". "I don't want to see us fight". "It hurts me deeply when we fight". "It makes me sad, knowing you feel this way". I said, gently with softness. "Please continue to be a part of my world".
"Don't lie to me today, I'm not having such a great day!". Ira grumbled, as she began getting angry. "I understand, honey". "I know how you feel, completely". "Please calm down, and close your eyes". "Everything will be ok when you wake up". "I promise you". I said, gently with softness. "It's ok, honey". "It's ok, I promise you". "You know I would never break one of our promises".
"I don't take too kindly to liars". Ira growled. "I hate being lied to". "Let me ask you; who else smokes, and does drugs in the group?". "Who else manipulates the disability system so they can collect money, and not work a day in their life?". "Who else is lazy, arrogant, and steals money from other members of their own "gang"?".
Ira growled this as she had some tears fall from her eyes. I stood, as the whiskers of mine began trembling, and my lip corner began to twitch. They may as well have been antennae as I was more like a creep. A slimy, weaselly millipede. "I feel hurt now, Ira". I said, softly, with gentleness. "Why are you angry with me?". "I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I feel hurt that you feel this way". "Especially considering I would never go out of my way to make you angry". I said, softly with kindness. "Perhaps we could talk, and figure out what got us here".
"You know very well how much I love you". "I would never try to hurt you in any way". "You're my favorite, and while we're on the subject, why would the only person who cares for you, try to hurt you?". "Think about it for a bit". I said, gently.
Ira felt caught for a moment, as she came back, knowing she was caught in my web. "Remember, I'm the only one who cares for you". "I'm the only one who loves you". "Would you really wish to place blame on someone who loves you that much?". I asked, gently. This made Ira think through her emotions after she was calm. "Would I really intend to hurt you?". "Remember how I saved you even when you were at your lowest point". "Why would I be dishonest with you?". I said, kindly. "I know it's sometimes hard to rationalize through your emotions, such as sadness, and anger, but you can do it". "It becomes natural after a while". "Think before you become angry, be logical". "I know you can do it". "You're smart".
Ira nodded, as she sniffled. "You're right". She said, as she sniffled. She began crying again. "Hey, it's ok, honey". "It's ok". "I know it's hard right now, you're ok". "I'm beside you". I comforted, gently. Ira cried, as she laid in her bed. "It's been a hard day, hasn't it?". "I know it". "I sometimes have hard days, too". I said, gently. "I used to have em' a lot when I was a kid". "It wasn't easy growin up, I'll tell ya". "But I did it".
I stroked Ira's face, gently. "It's ok, now, honey". I said, gently. "You're safe". "You're cool". I blew on my Ira's face just the way she liked, even when she was in the Children's hospital. It was a therapeutic tool for her to calm her when she had anxiety, or was experiencing PTSD. "You like that?". "I rememba doin it for ya when you were at the Children's Hospital". I said, gently. "Ya liked it so much, ya wanted more of it, so your favorite nurse did that just for ya".
"You're ok, now". "I'm sorry we fought". "Maybe we'll both try to be betta next time". I said, gently. Ira nodded, as she laid down. "Want some cheesecake?". "I have some leftover in the fridge". I said, gently. "I guess". Ira said, as she stayed in bed. I smiled a gentle smile, getting some cheesecake from the fridge. To be clear, this was still the fridge from the kitchen.
With some cheesecake, I managed to feed Ira a bit, as she laid in bed. Ira glanced around, sniffling. "Feelin' ok?". I asked, gently. "I'm feeling ok…I guess". Ira said, as she sniffled. Her eyes were closing, it seemed. She was falling asleep after becoming exhausted. "So, you said you experienced hardship, also when you were young?". Ira asked. "I did". I said, gently. "I was in the system long after my mother was in rehab, and she lost custody of me". "I've known foster homes, I've known the streets, a probation officer, amongst a lot of other things". "I've seen adults be strict, I've seen them be cruel, and condescending, I've seen them do heinous things". "It was hard to tell if anyone loved me as well". "But I knew, deep down, that they did love me, even if there weren't a lot of them". "I felt good knowing that they were there beside me".
"It was kind of hard to determine who was, and wasn't there for me". "But things eventually got easier". "Just as it will get easier for you". I said, gently. "I hope". Ira said. "Hey, we both know it will". I said, kindly. "Life eventually gets easier for people such as us".
"I know". Ira said. I smiled a kind smile. Ira felt better as she laid her head down, sleeping. We were both confident she was in a good place. "There ya go….sleep now". I convinced, gently, as I stroked her head, with softness. When she was finally asleep, I snuck outside to see the comet, looming overhead, as a piece of the sky was a fiery red, with tints of golden yellow, and a deadly heat had been emitted. Grinning a sneaky, evil grin, I had rubbed my brooch, allowing the sky to be swirling with a dark energy. There was the comet, with its tail. It just sat overhead, looming, waiting there for the perfect opportunity to strike. I smiled at my brooch, knowing Ira was falling right into my trap.
A bit later, Grubber had shuffled into Ira's bedroom. Ira glanced up at him. "Hello, I heard some raised voices". Grubber said, softly with gentleness. "Just wanted to see if everything was ok". "Have a nice time, sleeping".
"Alright, then". Ira said, grumbling. Grubber looked at her with a gentle smile. "What's wrong, cubby?". Grubber asked, gently with softness. "Is everything ok?".
Ira looked at him with some irritation in her eyes. "I'm not telling you". Ira grumbled, in a spectacular way only a woman would. "Why not?". Grubber asked, with a softness only a child would have. It was as if he was maternal, and therapeutic in a way, on the emotional age spectrum of a preschooler. He was a therapist for a preschooler is what we can relate it to. "Because it's not important to you". Ira said, as she sniffled. "I just….I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now". Ira sniffled, as she sat up.
"Well…maybe you don't wish to talk to me…but maybe we could try talking to cubby bear". Grubber said, softly with gentleness, as he held a teddy bear in his lap. "He just woke up from his nap, too, and is ready to play". "Let's try talking to him, he's my best friend, too". "I love playing with him, and Barbie dolly as well". "They're my best friends".
He made the teddy bear's hand wave hello in a slow, creepy fashion. "He's a bit groggy as of now, but he's happy". Grubber said, gently.
Ira turned to see the bear with it's black bead eye falling out, revealing fluff. "Well….Ace and I had a fight, and I thought he was financially abusing me…and that I caught him in a lie". "As it turns out, he was….I was wrong". Ira said. Grubber made the bear nod. "Hmm…cubby says that Ace is right in this situation". "He says that Ace is a smart man, and he knows what he's doing". "Cubby also says that Ace is taking care of you, so you should listen to him, and know that you're as indebted to him, as he is to you". Grubber said, gently.
Ira nodded along with everything that Grubber was saying. "I definitely agree with it, but….that's still not right". Ira said. "But you do have to listen to him, you know". "He's your best friend, isn't he?". Grubber asked, gently. "Yes, but….I don't know….it's kind of odd". Ira said. "Let's listen to him, and know that he is all you have left in the world". "Cubby thinks so, too". "Cubby usually doesn't like to think". Grubber said, gently. Ira nodded, as she glanced down at the bear. "Cubby has a pe###". "Do y'wanna see it?". Grubber asked, gently with softness. "Because he's a boy bear, not a girl one".
Ira backed away slowly, knowing that every cautious move meant the best way to escape. "I think I'm ok". Ira said. Ira backed away, walking towards the door of her bedroom, wishing to get out. Grubber only stood, watching with exactness, and precise measure. As if he was attracted to Ira, and wanted her to become naked. He watched, as he began unzipping his pants. Ira slowly put the blankets over her head, opting not to see Grubber staring at her, just staring at her….in a creepy fashion. Ira knew the best thing to do was to be underneath the covers, and pay little attention. It was the best notion for success. Of course, at this rate it was. For her, it was the best notion of protection against my boys.
The comet filled up part of the sky, as a red sky, with sweltering heat made it over Townsville. With how hot, and how ashen it truly was, it could remind someone of 9/11. The ashen, demonic day that was. Still, it was eerie around Townsville. No one was outside, everyone had either left, or had been evacuated. The mayor even had plans to evacuate. A heat index of 110 degrees had made the day even steamier with dry, opulent conditions. It seemed even more ashen, as I sat outside, smoking my cigarette. The cloud of smoke seemed to dissipate with the dry conditions. As the cigarette end glowed, with a flame, some ash began to singe on part of it. I smiled behind my cigarette, while it glowed profusely. I even began to chuckle, seeing that all of the bugs inside of my scabs had come closer at the sight of my cigarette. They were attracted to the way the ash came against my scaly skin. I grinned a greasy grin, smoking more of my cigarette, taking in the magical, sweet, flavorful essence of nicotine. Mmm, the nicotine….the way it tasted, the way it settled into my mouth, stayed there for quite some time, and settled profusely onto my tongues, and into my brain.
It was a wonderful feeling. Like "Simply Lemonade", the taste rendered even the most opulent of candies indifferent to the flavor, and the taste of my nicotine. The green, turquoise, fuschia that stuck into my brain with candid repose. I loved my nicotine. That, and I loved the way the cigarette end singed with ash, when I smoked it. I felt much better knowing how my cigarette was smoked. And the lovely additive of keeping my cigarette close. With every blow of the breath of smoke, and every drop of ash that fell onto my cigarette, I felt much more empowered. It was a lovely, endowed feeling. It was a feeling of excitement, and ecstasy one couldn't describe with words. It was something one couldn't escape. I smiled a gentle, glowing smile, as I smoked my cigarette. Ira eventually came outside, seeing the red in the sky, seeing the smoke from my cigarette surround me. "Hello, love". I said, gently. "Hey, you're up quite early". "Shouldn't ya be sleepin?". I asked, with kindness. "I'm fine for right now". Ira said. Ira coughed as she said this. "Ya definitely sound it". I said, kindly, with a hint of sarcasm.
"You ok, honey?". "Ya don't need anythin as of right now?". "I can get ya somethin' if ya want". I said, gently. "I'm ok for now". Ira said. "Thank you, though".
"Y'know I love ya". "I'm your biggest fan, kiddo". I said, gently. "I know". Ira said. "You're someone that has always supported me….even when I wasn't doing so well". "That's nice".
"Hey, perhaps it is". I said, gently. I tapped some ash from my cigarette. "I guess the question kind of is; do you believe I can do it?". Ira asked. "Live a normal life?".
My whiskers trembled as my mouth corner twitched a bit. "I don't believe you can". I said, softly with gentle honesty. "Not with what you've experienced, and your intelligence Quotient level, you are better off being in a group home". "Or under someone's care". I continued to smoke my cigarette. My wrinkled mouth, and my cracked lips, all with scabs of their own, wrapped around my cigarette. Ira looked sullen as she sniffled. "Oh….". Ira said, as she lowered her head a bit. "I thought I was working on being intelligent". "I was working on gaining my freedom". "You're making me feel trapped now". Ira sounded concerned as she glanced upwards, past the cigarette smoke. "Honey, you are very intelligent". "You've worked so hard just having the strength to suffa through what you've suffered through in your childhood". "You deserve the world, but unfortunately, you can't do it". "You don't have the intellect, or the natural skill". "But know that it's not your fault, entirely". "You were deprived from the very beginning". I said, gently.
"You lost your birth mother, and you took abuse, but even that was painful enough". "You don't need to suffa through any more". I said, gently. "You're not quite there with skill, and that's ok". "You don't need intelligence, you need to be looked after, and taken care of". "That's ok, too". "You fight every day you live, and you have since you were an infant". "Time to lay down now, and let me take care of you. "Your wish is my command".
I laughed as I said this. "Excuse me?". Ira asked, a bit angry now. "Nothin'". "I said nothin, nothin to worry about". I replied, sweating again. "Still, even though you've suffered, you're still my favorite". "I still love you more than anyone, and anything". "I love you more than I've loved my own mother". "Everyone I've met". "I love you more than them". "You mean so much to me". I said, gently. "I guess". Ira said. "I will always love you". "But taking care of you; being beside you means so much to me". "It means the world". I said, kindly. "I know". Ira said. "You fought the good fight". "Let me take care of you, and give you what you deserve most". I said, kindly.
"You know you mean that much to me, and my boys". "We think the world of you, and know you did your best". "You fought in the best way you could". I said, gently. "I tried to". Ira said. "I did my best".
"You were strong growin up". "You were a persevering lil angel, who has been through so much trauma". "You deserve as much love as anyone can give ya". I said, gently. "You deserve someone like me". "I'll give you the world if I have it". I smiled a kind smile behind my cigarette ash. Ira nodded, as she sniffled. She glanced off towards the side. "What's on your mind, honey?". I asked, gently. "Nothing, exactly". Ira said. "I'm just….I'm just kind of thinking about why I can't do anything". "I work my hardest, I learn my skills".
"You just don't possess enough natural skill". I said, kindly. "People that don't, often have someone taking care of them". "Not that you haven't tried, you have, and you're doing well, but you don't have the skill level to live a normal life because of what you've been through". "It's ok, now". "If you want, we can talk about it, and that will make all of the pain go away".
Ira sniffled. "I'm fine the way I am". Ira said. Ira glanced around her, coughing as she knew my cigarette smoke surrounded her. "Tell me if it becomes too much for you". "It can be painful, in many ways". "I just hope you're ok, knowing that you were strong, you were your own beautiful person". "Nothing is too personal for us". "We can talk as much as we want". I said, gently.
"I'm ok for right now". Ira said, sullenly. "Ok, only if you're alright with it". "Will I be there to talk". I said, gently. I smoked my cigarette. Ira glanced around her, drinking her milk. "I'm sure birth mother told you how much she loved you before she died". I said, gently. "She might've…but I don't remember". Ira said. "She did, and she meant it….before you both lost one another forever". I said, kindly. I kept smoking my cigarette. "I guess". Ira said. "I don't really remember".
Ira sniffled as she glanced around. "Y'know from birth on, it's important for any livin' being to have their birth parent". I said, gently. "If an animal or a person wishes to survive, or live without repose, they need their birth parent, for milk, for feeding, and for support". "For nurturing and touch as well". "Your birth mother gave that to you, early, but she died early on as well".
"You never received the full worth of what you needed". "It was traumatic to say the least". I said, gently. "You survived, and that's what mattered". "You are the strongest person I've ever met". I smoked my cigarette. "Thank you". Ira said. Ira glanced around, as she sniffled. "You're my strong baby girl". I said, gently. "I love you for giving me, you". "You're someone I've always trusted, just as I know you trust me". "In many ways".
"I do trust you". "I guess I'll be ok, if I am….or…if I will be". Ira said. "I know you will be". I said, kindly. I smiled one more time, as Ira drank her milk. Ira sniffled, as she coughed once more. "I know my smoke bothers ya, honey". I said, gently. "I know it's kind of rough as of now, I'll quit come next year". "Smoking bothers my lungs a bit".
"But things will be ok, I promise you". I said, kindly. "Hey, y'wanna see somethin' cool?". I asked this with some edge to my voice. Ira nodded, as she drank her milk. I smiled a greasy smile, taking the burning cigarette, burning a hole in one of my neck scabs. The scab singed, as a spider crawled out, falling from my scab. The cigarette burn left a mark on my neck, however. "His name is William, he's here to see you, specifically". "Give him a kiss, he loves you". "He told me he does". I said, gently. I chuckled as I poked the spider, hissing in anger from being burned by a cigarette. Ira cringed a bit. "Well….it doesn't look like you're treated well". Ira said, as she watched the spider quickly crawl away.
"I got more of em, hidin in my neck". "I think it's high time you meet some of my friends". I said, gently as I burned my neck in another place with the cigarette. Some beetles crawled out with that in mind. I laughed as they dropped, one by one from the scabs that peeled off. They dropped, crawling away, angry. I laughed as they crawled away. "Well, they were waitin to get out". "So much for friendship". I said, laughing. Ira all but felt safe. I could tell she was becoming uncomfortable. "Let's get back into bed if you want". I said, gently. "It might be a better place there, perhaps".
Ira nodded, as she ignored the bugs, glancing up at the red sky. "This comet will make impact soon". "But I still wonder how it got there, and what it means for the rest of us". Ira said. "There is a certain evil aura to the comet….it has something to do with someone".
"I would have to say it has something to do with astronomy, and the astronomical event concurring with a normal comet coming by". "That's all it is….nothing more, nothing less". I said, gently, evading Ira's statement. "It's odd to me how the comet is the same color as the brooch you're wearing". Ira said. I glanced down at my brooch, seeming to hide it from Ira. "I think it might be time for bed now". I said, gently with some nervousness. "Come on now, honey".
Ira glanced, shaking her head, as she glanced down at the hidden brooch. "This is the same color as the comet". "It's like you're controlling it from around your neck". Ira said. "Come inside". I said, gently. "Nothin is happenin". "I promise you, I'm not like that". "You're just sayin that because you're not feelin well". I was becoming nervous. "Come on inside to bed, now". "You can do it, come on in, we'll take a rest". I reminded, kindly.
"Ok". Ira said. Ira did come in a bit further. Even as she laid down, we both knew it was time to put my plan into motion. It would come to its fruition in due time. Now that the comet was making its impact.