Hey there readers! So far I've got some liking of this story and I'm very thankful for that! Thank-you: AlbertDS1921, NMelendez2112, The Self insert, js537315, and tweiler18 for following and favoriting. Anyway, the second chapter is up so please enjoy!
Chapter 2:
Outside, the two legendary criminals strolled down the sidewalk side by side. All around them, people veered away and skittered to hide their faces—the Bad Guys were well-known, and highly feared. Cars and trucks screeched to a halt, making it easy for the two to cross the street to the front doors of the Big Bank.
"Guinea pigs, huh?" Wolf asked again
Seemed like an odd choice for a favorite snack. Who would pick a tiny little rodent over a nice, sweet piece of birthday cake?
"They're the Rolls-Royce of rodents," Snake said, flicking his tongue
All this talk of rodents was making him hungry—even though they'd just finished lunch. But then again, Snake was always up for a snack.
"Yeah," Wolf said, shaking his head. "But still a rodent. You know what I mean?"
Outside the Big Bank, the two friends admired the posters hanging on the building's windows. There were dozens of WANTED posters, all featuring Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake's mug shots. Wolf nodded appreciatively—it felt so good to be known.
Once the two entered the building, strolling through the bank's massive front doors, it wasn't long till everyone in the Big Bank noticed them and they all began screaming and running away in fear.
"Don't mind us," Wolf said, flashing a charming smile. "Just robbin' this place"
The scene cuts off to an alley where we see Boy walking down through it. His guinea pig partner was perched on top of his young master's messy hair as he watched him write stuff down in his journal of all the bad things to attract social media attention. The kid just loved brainstorming ideas to mess with people especially defacing public property. He always kept things in detail by writing it down plus drawing pictures just for fun. The young child snickered to himself as he got excited to do all these things.
"Well, Barks, so far the list is coming along real slick" Boy said, making eye contact North to his furry friend. "Just think, with my ideas and your—well, your tiny cuteness we'll be able to do the things just like any other criminal"
(BARKS SQUEALING)
"What? You don't want to be called 'cute'?" Boy asked
(BARKS SQUEALING)
Boy chuckled, "Okay, then, you don't have cuteness—you have ferocity! But you're gonna have to do more than squeak like a rodent. I gave you a name now so show me what it stands for"
The guinea pig was silent for a moment until he huffed and puffed and let out a very loud barking sound. Soon the guinea pig started barking like he think he was a dog much to his young master's surprise.
"That's what I'm talking about" Boy said, patting his furry friend on the head
Continuing to walk down the alley, Boy looked to the side of him when he noticed…you!
"Oh, hey there!" Boy greeted, "Yeah, you. C'mere"
The scene zooms in for a close-up.
"That's better," Boy said, "Don't be afraid, now. I don't bite—well, at least not yet. Who am I? Let's just say I'm a bbbbbaaaaaddddd boy! Now I know what you're all thinking! You think that because of my image I'm this sweet, adorable, little kid. But really—I'm not! I'm not like most kids around these parts. I'm the kind of kid who's trying to have fun by being bad. Of course, like all movies, you see there's that one type of person who does harm and then destroys it without a care in the world. People would call that a 'super-villain' kind of thing, except only—we don't have that in this universe. And another thing…this isn't just based on the movie…it's a fanfiction story. The only difference about this story…is ME"
"Yep, I'm in it!" Boy said, pointing to himself. "Except I wasn't created by the author of the books or the director of the film. But that doesn't mean I don't get to have some fun. So if you really wanna get to know me: GREAT! If you don't: you're all dead to me"
Boy cleared his throat and continued narrating, "As I was saying…here, it's really all about getting noticed by the public. Everybody's always trying to build up a reputation nowadays. Like BF wouldn't say, it takes many bad deeds to build a reputation, and only one good one to lose it. Do I wish I could be more than something small to grow into something very, very, dastardly? Mm…I could say no but what good will that do?"
"Also, where are my manners?" Boy said, introducing himself. "The name's Boy"
(BARKS BARKING)
Boy glanced up to his guinea pig friend who was trying to get the audience's attention by barking.
"And this, here, is Barks" Boy introduced his furry companion. "A barking guinea pig who thinks he's a dog…I guess. We just met"
Boy puffed his tiny chest out as he walked courageously down the alley towards the sunlight which led into the city.
"We're off to make history!" Boy announced, "We're gonna show this city how bad we really are! Except only—I don't even know where to start"
(BARKS BARKING)
"I've been trying to think. Why do you think I was writing all this stuff down for, huh?" Boy said, glancing up at his guinea pig partner
(BARKS BARKING IN REPLY)
"You don't just expect to have something waiting for us right into the middle of the…" Boy said, until he was interrupted by a metal clang
Boy suddenly collided into something hard causing him to fall backwards onto the ground, plus, causing Barks to fall off his master's head. The child sat himself up until he realized he was in front of something very, very, slick. It was a car…a black Chevrolet Camaro. It looked very new.
Boy placed Barks on his shoulder and got up as the two began inspecting the Camaro with amazement.
"Whoa" Boy said, complimenting the mobile. "Nice ride"
Boy could see that all the mirrors were down and he peeked inside without setting the car alarm off. The features, the padding, the stirring was like something he had never seen before. It was definitely new.
"Wow! This bad boy must've cost like a thousand dollars," Boy stated, "Ha, they even left the keys, the big dummies. But why is it back here next to the…"
(BANK ALARM GOING OFF IN THE DISTANCE)
Boy flinched, glancing over his shoulder when he heard the alarm ringing from one of the buildings next door. The child's heart was pounding like he did something wrong without actually doing it.
"Uh-oh" Boy panicked, "Gotta hide, quick!"
Looking back and forth, the child tried finding someplace to hide to elude the police. So instead, he opened up the trunk of the Camaro and hopped in slamming it shut. Not the smartest decision to make.
Meanwhile, inside the Big Bank, we could see Snake fleeing with the bank's giant safe in his grasp with Wolf following behind running with two heavy bags of money. The two friends exploded out of the side windows of the bank and tossed the giant safe into the back of their Bad Guys' car. As it turns out the car was Wolf's pride and joy, a gorgeous sports car fir for celebrities—celebrities like the Bad Guys!
"Woo!" Wolf whooped, sliding into the driver's seat
Snake slid into the passenger's seat beside him, the safe snuggled in right on Snake's lap.
"Yeah!" Snake cheered. "Hahaha!"
They'd outsmarted the good guys, once again.
"Go bad…" Wolf started, his smile spreading across his face.
"Or go home," Snake finished
Wolf pressed the gas pedal and floored it. Zipping through the streets of Los Angeles, Wolf felt lighter than air. They had cash for days, his best friend was at his side trying to crack a new safe they'd just stolen, and the cops were hot on their tail. There was no better—or more satisfying—way to spend an afternoon. As the duo drove, Boy lifted the trunk open and realized he was not in the alley anymore and on the road going at high speeds.
Boy gulped, "This wasn't supposed to happen," and he closed the trunk shut
As they drove, Wolf looked to the side windows, he leaned his arm on the car's door, and he started talking to…you!
"Hey, you" Wolf said, "Get over here"
But no one responded.
"A little bit closer"
Still nothing.
"Ooh, I know what it is," Wolf drove the car closer to the audience, "You're afraid, because I'm the…BIG BAD WOLF! I'm not surprised. Well, I am the villain of every story," he then turned his attention to Snake, "Isn't that right, Mr. Snake?"
Snake chuckled and responded, "Yep"
While Snake worked on cracking the safe open, Wolf expertly guided the Bad Guy mobile through the streets.
"Say hello to Mr. Snake! Serpentine safe-cracking machine," Wolf mused, glancing over to watch his friend work. "Imagine Houdini—but with no arms. The kinda guy who'll tell you the glass is half empty—then steal it from you"
Wolf grinned at Snake, then veered around another crop of slowed and stopped cars as he continued to narrate their drive, as he zigged and zagged around traffic.
"He's also my best bud. And today's his birthday!" Wolf said, leaning his head near his friend
Snake looked unamused by hearing the word 'birthday' and glanced up from the safe.
"Not relevant" Snake replied
Wolf placed his arm over Snake's neck. "He's sweetheart. You're a sweetheart"
Behind them, a parade of police cars filed into position, swerving and dodging pedestrians in their quest to finally catch this pair of legendary criminals in the act.
"Well, look who's here," Snake mused, glancing back at the cops giving chase
It was always a matter of time until police were on their tail…and then just a matter of a little more time before the Bad Guys got away.
"Took' em long enough" Wolf laughed
He scanned the road ahead, noticing a long string of red lights, with tons of traffic in every direction. There was no way they would get through that mess—without some help. Luckily, they had help.
"Watch this" Wolf said, as he started counting down backwards. "Three…two…one!"
Suddenly, the lights switched from red to green, ushering the Bad Guys through the jammed streets with ease. Wolf gave a little salute to their hacker pal. She was an orange tarantula in a black hoodie who carried a mini laptop with her at all times. She was the one who made all the stop lights turn to green lights. Wolf went back to narrating again.
"And over here is Ms. Tarantula, our in-house hacker" Wolf cheered. "Our pocket search engine, our traveling tech wizard. We call her…WEBS"
While the guys had done their thing and stolen the goods, Webs had been busy doing her thing: working on hacking the city's street-light system to grant them easy passage during their getaway. Now, as the Bad Guys drove under her perch on the streetlight, Webs jumped down and dropped into the Bad Guy mobile.
For Webs, this had been a simple job. A basic hack. Nothing complicated. She was a total perfectionist and also preferred to juggle many tasks at once. And having eight legs made tackling multiple jobs at any given time a little easier. The best part of this particular hack? As soon as the Bad Guys drove through the green lights, the stoplights immediately switched back to red, stopping all the cars behind them and letting the cars going the other direction go. This clogged up all the intersections and kept the cop cars who'd been chasing them from getting through!
"Very slick, Webs," Wolf said admiringly
"I also took over the police dispatch," Webs bragged. "Blurred their satellite imaging system, grounded their chopper, and…" She paused, glancing back over her shoulder. "One more thing"
Snake glanced over, groaning as he realized what his friend had done. "You didn't"
(WEBS SNICKERING)
The delivery driver hollered out, "Special delivery for…" He glanced up, suddenly realizing who his clients were. "Ahhhh! Don't eat me!"
The delivery driver flung the package toward the car, his cooter swerving as he freaked out about how close he'd been to the legendary animal criminals. Wolf calmly reached out and caught the package and placed it in the center of the car. Snake grimaced at the sight of a giant birthday cake his friend had delivered to their getaway car.
"Happy Birthday, Mr. Grumpypants" Webs cooed
Snake looked from the cake to Wolf and back to Webs in frustration. "I think I hate you," he told Webs.
Wolf was feeling better than ever as he turned left to lead the few remaining cops toward a construction zone. Their plan was still going exactly according to…well, according to plan. For Boy, however, he was swerving from side to side in the trunk every time Wolf turned left or right at a fast pace; plus, making him feel sick. As for Barks, he too, was trying to hold his lunch in from escaping his mouth. They were both not having fun…at least not in the back of someone's trunk. As they drove through the construction site, as soon as they'd passed, one of the workers gestured for a crane to lower a port-a-potty into the middle of the street. This blocked all but a small handful of the remaining cop cars. Only a few left to ditch, and they'd be home free.
As the Bad Guys' car zipped past the construction worker, another one of the Bad Guys—Mr. Shark—hopped into the car beside his teammates.
"Guys! It's me!" Shark said joyfully as he shed his uniform disguise. "I was the construction worker"
Wolf began narrating again on his next teammate, "Mr. Shark," Wolf said, offering his pal a huge smile and cheering. "Master of Disguise! Our apex predator of a thousand faces"
Shark grinned, soaking up the praise and attention. He loved being part of the Bad Guys, and he really was a master of disguise. His greatest trick of all? Stealing the Mona Lisa disguised as the Mona Lisa. It was a true highlight in his heisting career.
"Dig that" Wolf said, narrating with a sly grin across his face
With Shark now squeezed into the backseat, things had gotten a bit squishy in the car. Shark was significantly bigger than the other Bad Guys and took up far more than his fair share of space.
"Watch it, Big Tuna!" Snake hissed as Shark wiggled into his spot—which shoved Snake's seat forward and pressed him against the safe he was still working to crack. "I'm trying to work here!"
"Keep it cool, baby. Birthdays should be chill" Shark said, as he pulled out a birthday hat
Birthdays only came around once a year, so Shark, like Wolf and Webs, felt like they deserved a major celebration. Shark then, swiped off Snake's original hat, and placed a now party hat around the reptile's slim head.
Snake's head drooped under the weight of the hat, and his mood drooped with it. Snake was in his head saying to himself: Why did I ever mention my birthday to these guys in the first place?
Shark glanced back, noticing with only the slightest concern that the cops on their tail had drawn dangerously close to their getaway car. It was time to put the pedal to the metal, or they'd be caught!
But based on Wolf's wolfish grin, there was one last trick up his sleeve.
"And rounding out the crew…" Wolf said, as he swerved the wheel to throw one of the cop cars offtrack.
Wolf glanced in the rearview mirror just in time to see the glove box of one of the police cars pop open, revealing the final member of their team.
"Surprise!" Piranha shouted, leaping into the face of the nearest cop.
He flipped and flopped around the inside of the police cruiser like a Tasmanian devil, causing the car to swerve off course. At the precise moment, Piranha jumped out the window into another cop car. He jumped from cop car to cop car—causing mass chaos.
"Is Mr. Piranha!" Wolf said, "He's a loose cannon with a short fuse," Wolf narrated, watching his pal do his best work. "Willing to scrap with anyone or anything"
Behind them, Piranha continued to leap and jump in the air, now landing on the roofs of each of the cars pursuing the Bad Guys.
"He's brave, he's fearless…" Wolf continued announcing. "Ah, who am I kidding? He's crazy!"
Eventually, Piranha bounced onto the windshield of the lead cop car, freaking out the driver, who slammed on his brakes and caused a massive pileup. Moments later, Piranha pinball up and through the air, landing in the Bad Guy mobile.
"Santo Cielo" Piranha whooped. "That's a lot of popo!"
"Uh, Piranha," Webs said slowly, "Did we forget something?"
"What?" Piranha said, panting and smiling without making any direct eye-contact
"The present…you know?" Shark prompted, gesturing towards Snake
Piranha blinked in sudden realization. He'd totally forgotten the present. He had been so busy taking care of the cops in hot pursuit that he totally forgot about his friend's special day. His mind was telling him: Oops!
"Oh! Um…of-of course I didn't forget…" Piranha said hastily, covering for himself
But his lie didn't last long when he trigged a tiny fart.
(TOOTS)
Webs shook her head. "You know you fart when you lie, right?"
"What? No, I fart when I'm nervous" Piranha replied
"Yeah," Webs countered. "Nervous about lying!"
(PIRANHA'S STOMACH BURBLING)
"…I'm sorry" Piranha squeaked
Unable to stop it from happening, Piranha launched another fart—but this time it was a giant, silent-but-deadly one. Within seconds, the entire car was filled with noxious green gas.
(LOUD FART)
"PIRANHA!" The rest of the Bad Guys screamed
"Don't breathe it in," Wolf reminded the others
"I breathed it in!" Shark screamed
The rest of the Bad Guys coughed and stuck their heads out the windows, gasping for fresh air. Even in the back of the trunk, Boy quickly opened the latch gasping for fresh air along with Barks who quickly fainted from the gas.
"Crap, what did that fish eat for lunch!" Boy squeaked, coughing
As soon as the gas dissipated inside the car, Wolf looked around at his crazy collection of friends and thought—once again—about how lucky he was.
"Yeah, they're a bit eccentric," Wolf muttered, continuing his little narration as the other Bad Guys continued to shriek and wail about the fart. "But," he said, chuckling, "when you're born us, you don't exactly win many popularity contests. Do I wish people didn't see us as monsters? Sure I do. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play 'em"
"Jackpot!" Snake whooped, with delight
Just then, Snake was successfully able to crack the safe. It clicked open and money starting flying everywhere in the car and outside of the car.
Laughing, Wolf spun the car and drifted into position right in front of the police station. The safe popped out in front of a gaggle of cops, who were all standing in front of the building. Every single pair of eyes turned to stare. The other Bad guys
"Um…" Snake said, and he closed his front passenger door shut
"What the thorax?" Webs gasped
"Are you crazy?" Piranha gurgled
"What?" Wolf said, winking. "I just wanted a longer car chase. It's the best part"
The chief of police glared at her suspect board of the Bad Guys. One of the other cops burst the door into her office, and said…
"Chief…it's…"
"THEM!" The chief screamed
She burst out the front doors of the station. Looking like a fierce grizzly bear she was ready for action when I came to the Bad Guys. She couldn't wait to get her hands on those dastardly criminals with her bare hands. It was her life's greatest ambition.
The scene cuts back to Boy who wanted to say something to the audience before the chase begins, "Okay, now I think know you what's about to happen so let me just say three things first: 1.) Don't try this in your world if you're in someone else's trunk, 2.) This is only a story, and 3.) uh…HELP!" He slammed the trunk shut again preparing for a wild and bumpy roller coaster ride.
The scene switches back to Wolf and the other Bad Guys.
"Webs," Wolf said. "Hit it!"
Webs pressed play on the stereo, and music blared out of the Bad Guy mobile playing: Stop, Drop, Roll by Can't Stop Won't Stop.
"Get them!" The police chief screamed
Well, that's it for this chapter! Please leave a review and stay tuned for what happens next!